


Dim the Lights

by EjBlaKit



Series: Dim the Lights [1]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Archive Warnings only for references nothing explicit, Ben's a bit awkies, Can no one hold a job?, Did Snoke and Plutt go to Creep School together, F/M, Hux is a Knight in Shining Armour, It's all about the bad choices, Just Hux is Fine, M/M, Mean Manager Hux, Okay they all have issues, Or not, People need to chill, Potential dub-con but not really at all, Pub Grub is Best Grub, References to childhood trauma (may be triggering), Rey has some issues, Rey is a fun drunk, Rey sings like an Angel, Reylo - Freeform, Reyux, Smut, So begins the shitstorm, Some fun dreams and not so fun dreams, Star Wars AU, THE DROUGHT IS BROKEN, The Solo house hold, They call him Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-07-12 15:52:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 35
Words: 120,273
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7112398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EjBlaKit/pseuds/EjBlaKit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rey has had an incredibly shitty week and she wants it over with. Now. </p><p>Only, Finn's abandoned her on their night out, leaving her with her new friend alcohol and a sinfully attractive dark haired man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The music was heavy, every bass note throbbing deep, as if trying to shake her soul from her body. It was pleasant, somehow as relaxing as it was invigorating, and she let it wash over her, easing away the stresses of her week. The bitter liquid in her glass was doing much the same. Straight whiskey, a man's drink, apparently. She didn't care, she'd ignored the surprise of the bartender when her order had stopped after the one word. More surprise when Finn had then asked his own order. One Corona, and don't forget the lime.

Rey looked up from the swirling amber, diffusing the rotating colours of the stage lights. 

She was all alone at the table, her bag sitting before her, the seat to her left devoid of the guy she'd come with. He was outside somewhere, phone probably glued to his ear. She got it, of course she did, Poe had very few chances to call, so when he did Finn dropped everything. That didn't stop the loneliness ebbing in, though, the dejection at rejection. 

She breathed deeply the smell of cigarette smoke and alcohol, the sweat, perfume and stage smoke swirling thick through the pub. The amps were squealing feedback as guitars were unplugged and the microphone was slid back into place. The band was taking their break. Tinny music began playing through the speakers, as if the patrons wouldn't notice the difference between recorded and live music. 

It was fairly packed tonight, the small room bustling with men and women. Some of them even wore shirts in support of the band. They must be fairly popular in the local scene, she mused quietly to herself, recognising her own efforts to try and dispel her sullen mood. It had been her idea to come out tonight, to de-stress and forget. She knocked back the last of the whiskey, as if it were a shot, and gritted her teeth against the pleasant burn curling down her chest. 

Finn's jacket was draped over his chair, so she left hers as well to save the small corner table, grabbing her clutch to get another drink. She didn't need Finn present to drink herself under the table to forget just how incredibly shitty people were. He'd come back eventually, then he could scrape her up and take her home. It wasn't like her grades mattered anymore.

'Whiskey.' She hollered once she'd caught the bartenders eye. No judgement this time, just a nod as he went to get her drink. 

'Two.' An unfamiliar voice drawled, large hand appearing over her shoulder, handing over the cash. 

'Thanks, but I'm good,' she tried to turn, but it was tightly packed and she couldn't do anything but accept the two glasses as the disembodied hand paid. Finally released from the sticky bar, she turned and looked up. And up. And up. 

The guy was tall, and although he held himself like he was all lanky, gangly limbs, she could tell there was serious muscle under the dark jeans and band shirt. The sleeves of his leather jacket stretched just a little too much over his biceps. Rey silently handed him his drink. Long fingers brushed against hers as a smile touched full lips, humour crinkling impossibly dark eyes, darkened further by eyeliner. With his free hand he was tucking long, dark waves behind slightly oversized ears. They didn't detract from his looks though, not like they should have.

'Thanks.' She mouthed, realised she was staring, realising she was still taking up bar space and two girls were glaring daggers at her, waiting for her to move. Rey obliged, having to press herself flush against the imposing stranger to slip past him and head back to her table.

He followed, just like she thought he would.

'Kylo.' He offered her his hand, slipping into Finns abandoned seat as she took hers. 

'Rey.' She smiled shyly, shaking it, enjoying the warmth and calluses brushing against her palm. 

'That's a nice name.' And somehow, despite only meeting him a few moments ago, she knew that it wasn't a cheesy pick up line. He genuinely meant it, and that surprised her. 'Enjoying the show?' She shrugged her shoulders.

'I haven't been paying attention, sorry.' She gestured to his shirt. 'You must be a fan. I was ... supposed to be ...' She laughed uncertainly, unleashing her best smile on him. He looked predictably dazed by it. 'Do you come here often? It's nice, isn't it? The noise makes it hard to think.' She drank a mouthful of the burning liquid and grinned again at the burn. 

'You don't want to think?' He was looking at her intently, dark eyes reflecting the blue to green to yellow to red lights. If she stared long enough she wondered if she could get lost in them. Rey quickly looked down at her glass, frowning, wondering just how much she'd actually had tonight. Three? Two? She'd finished Finns neglected beer earlier. 'It's nice.' She glanced up, startled. He was leaning closer, to be heard, his leg brushing against hers, the contact hot through the fabric of their jeans. 'The pub. It's my third time here. The acoustics are really good, and the crowd's always really welcoming.' She nodded, never having really thought about those aspects. She'd liked the darkness, the grunginess, the fact she didn't have to dress up and the alcohol was cheap. 'Hey.' The large hand wrapped over hers. She was drowning in those eyes again. 'The guy you're with, is he a friend or ...'

'Friend.' Her heart leapt in her throat as heat began to curl through her stomach. Unexpected but not unwelcome. It was definitely not how she'd thought her night was going to go.

'Oh, good. I was worried he'd just bailed on you.' A quick, tight grin accompanied the slight tightening of his hand over hers. 'So he's coming back then?'

'You're on his jacket.' The tight grin relaxed and Kylo leant back, away from her. She quickly smothered the sudden disappointment at the lack of closeness. The dark man raised his glass in silent cheers and took a sip. He flinched slightly at the cheap swill that he'd unknowingly bought, but took another drink, evidently deciding the burn was worth the taste. 

'I hate seeing people left alone. It happens a lot. Like, why go out with someone if you're going to abandon them?' He had no idea how close his words hit home, but something on her face must have clued him in, because he'd fallen silent and was just staring again. At her. How was he to know that his words were only part of her incredibly shitty week? 'You a student?' He asked instead. If her mood had been better she would have laughed at the sheer look of panic from him as those three words had altered her expression further. 'Did you want another drink?' He tried once more. She shook her head, uncomfortable with charity. 'Did you want me to ... to go?' 

'No, no. That's okay.' She smiled again, before having another mouthful. 'But you should know I don't go out looking to get laid.' He had the decency to look appalled at her words.

'I wasn't-'

'I'm not offended, I'm just letting you know it won't happen.'

'You just looked lonely.' He said it so sullenly, lips pouting, eyebrows drawn into a frown over those dark, offended eyes. 'That wasn't my intention at all. I'd talk to them if it was.'

'Oh.' Rey looked in the direction he'd nodded, at a group of girls, not unlike the two that had scowled at her earlier, giggling and glancing in their direction. In short skirts and pressed up chests. 'Oh.' Humiliation flamed red across her face and she stared into her glass, wishing the ground would open up and devour every last piece of her. 

'I mean, I'm not offended either.' It sounded like he was trying to joke, to lighten the sudden tension, but it fell flat and he downed the last of his amber liquid. 'I have to go now. It was nice chatting to you Rey.' And then he was striding away.

She didn't stare at his arse as he left, instead she glared at the empty spot. That was it. The last straw of this shitty week that seemed to stretch into forever. Rey smashed the last of her drink and grabbed her wallet again. She was getting drunk and she was doing it now.

She was barely cognizant of the band that started to play again, knocking back shots she couldn't afford. Finns jacket mocked her silently while the bar buzzed and throbbed with music and chatter, women and men dancing and head banging and grinding and drinking and having so much fun. Together. With other people. Rey wasn't aware she was crying until she rested her head in her hands for a moment, mind starting to hum pleasantly at the alcohol. Her cheeks were wet. Fuck this.

She glared at the stage, where the band was riling up their fans, drums pounding with the bass, lead guitar wailing solo over the rhythm, and the singer ... oh. Rey stared up at Kylo, wanting the ground to open up all over again.

She'd called him a fan.

He was a little more than that, it seemed. 

He prowled the stage like he owned it, microphone pulled away as he sang his lungs out, eyes closed, face strained and she flashed mentally to that face crying out under her hands, just as sweat slicked, dark curls plastered to his forehead.

Rey knocked back another shot, looking down as his eyes opened and met hers. 

She barely tasted the next lot of liquid and she knew standing would be an issue, even though she felt fine now. She felt fine now because she wasn't standing. This was fucking ridiculous. Perhaps she should leave.

The phone screen was blank. No missed calls, no messages. Finn was still lurking around, probably in the midst of phone sex or some deep and meaningful or just talking about the weather with Poe. Who the hell knew? He certainly wasn't here with her, when she needed him to be, to save her from herself and the huge hangover she'd be rocking come tomorrow, if she was lucky enough for it to hold off that long. She couldn't hold her liquor, who was she kidding? Rey groaned and buried her face in her arms, wanting to cry again, but suddenly unable to. She just wanted to be at home, in her bed. 

All tangled limbs and digging fingers.

Despite her horror at the thought, of where her mind kept going, she found her gaze sliding back to the stage, back to the man who had bought her a drink. She had no idea how long they'd been up there now. How long could a set last? A couple of hours max, right? The bar would only pay them so much. Trembling fingers stretched out and she seized another shot glass, pulling it closer. 

With the week she'd had ... what was another bad decision, really? His eyes slipped over her again, slipped back, met her gaze. Rey swore under her breath, feeling the spike of arousal, thrumming deeper than the bass that was pounding through her chest like a second heart beat. The lights were dimming as she finished the last her of her drinks and the world tilted haphazardly. Cheers and screams, a flash of lights as the band agreed to just one more. One more song, last one of the night. Rey found herself trying to stand, legs suddenly traitorous. She clutched her table desperately. 

She was going to go now.

Fuck Finn.

Fuck that guy on stage.

Yes please.

No.

She was going to go and stumble her drunken arse home or pass out trying. 

It didn't matter if there was no point studying for her exams, or if her classes weren't worth shit anymore. It didn't matter that there was no point being prepared for class come Monday. She still had to go home and sleep and be a functioning adult tomorrow. She had to ... she had to ... She pulled on her flannel shirt, not bothering with the buttons as her fingers brushed over Finns jacket. Yeah, she should probably take that too. She pulled it on as well, the cuffs almost concealing the tips of her fingers and she giggled, breathing deeply the scent of her best friend who was still definitely not here and helping her stumble her way to the corridor towards the bathroom because she had to piss _really_ bad. 

Rey stumbled down the dark hallway, bumping into a couple of people and giggling her apologies because her navigational system seemed to be down as her fingers trailed brick and sticky wallpaper, trying desperately to peer at the signs for bathroom. 

'Rey.' Heat pulsed heavily through her veins as she turned towards an open door, to see the long haired band trumping into a dimly lit room set aside for them. And Kylo was standing there, staring at her intently.

'Sorry about before,' she found herself babbling, walking closer, unable to stop herself from being drawn in. 'I mean, you didn't know, did you?' And she laughed at how ridiculous this all was. About them being here together. About everything, really.

'Know what?' Those smouldering eyes were steady. 'You're really drunk.'

'Yeah, I know.' She was using him as support now, and she'd been right. He felt like solid muscle as she felt the world begin to spin around her, attraction and alcohol making everything feel fuzzy and right and _naughty_. 'I have a whole thing,' she flailed her arm around wildly, gesturing at nothing in particular. 'So I'm just sorry. Sorry for being an arse hat. I would like to have sex with you though.' His face flamed as red as hers suddenly flushed, the words tumbling helplessly from her lips. She gasped, giggled, buried her face in his shirt, and then looked up at him. 

Those fucking eyes.

Those fucking dark, sexy, soul-stealing eyes.

He was crowding her backwards, through a door.

Bathroom. 

She caught a glimpse of a paper-towel strewn basin before the door was locked and she was being pressed into a stall, that locked too for good measure and his lips were on hers, hot and insistent and he felt so good. Rey groaned against his lips, welcoming his tongue, fingers sliding through his hair for purchase as his large hands curled around her waist and pulled her tight against him. Against that strong wall of muscle and raging hard on.

'You're sure.' He gasped, pulling back slightly. Rey trailed her mouth down his neck, nipping lightly, suckling a bright purple bruise intently at his collarbone with intent focus. 'Rey?!'

'Yes. Yes I'm drunk and I'm sure that I need to do this with you. Only you. Hurry up.' She was fumbling with his belt, and her belt, and he brushed her hands away, unbuckling both of them. She shimmied out of her pants quickly, uncaring of how filthy the floor was, just needing to wrap her legs around him, to feel him press into her. Strong hands were lifting her, helping her as his weight pressed her solidly into the wall and she threw her head back and groaned loudly as he slid into her. He felt so big and good and filling and she bit her lip, luxuriating at the welcome intrusion. And then he stilled.

'I don't have a condom.' His voice was suddenly panicked and her head snapped up so she could glare at him.

'And I don't fucking care.' She rocked her hips to prove her point, only to feel the hot flare of pleasure, jellying her limbs almost instantly and she purred his name as she nibbled his ear lobe and caught his mouth with hers again. He moved hard and fast, as if he couldn't control himself, and Rey found herself not caring, her own pleasure building rapidly as his hot breath blew warm against her neck, his teeth nipping at her, her name ghosting past his lips. Her nails dug into his shoulders, ankles locked behind his hips, trying to pull him closer, to be one, to just hit that perfection that was on the horizon, rapidly approaching and -

'Oh fucking _hell_!' she screamed, clinging to him for dear life, clutching as she rode the waves of her orgasm.

'Rey I-'

'It's fine.' She whispered huskily, uncaring as he suddenly shuddered, groaning into her skin, fingers digging deep into her hips before he slowly let her sink to the floor. She stumbled, then righted herself against him, heart pounding against her ribs. She stared up at the black locks of hair clinging to his forehead, to the slightly glazed look in his eyes. 'Get out.' The dark eyes focused on her. 'You should get out.' They narrowed on her, angry. 'I need to pee!' She pushed his shoulders. 'Please!' He laughed suddenly and obliged, standing just outside the door as she relieved herself, groaning at the bliss of it. 

Rey didn't think too much about the damp pants she was pulling on, stepping out into the solid chest of Kylo, the singer of some band she'd just drunk fucked in the bathroom of the pub. She patted the black torso of Kylo before washing her hands, humming blissfully to herself.

'So ...' Kylo ran a hand through his hair, fixing his stare on her. Rey smiled lazily at him. 

'I think I'm going to be sick.' She sighed.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully the continuation does it justice!
> 
> I kind of don't really know where this is going ... so ... have fun!

The first thing she did was roll over and hurl into the plastic bucket beside her bed.

Sunlight streamed through her open curtains, and she found herself cursing Yesterday Rey as she spat bile. Everything hurt. And she stunk. Bad enough to make her dry heave again.

'You okay?' Finn was opening her bedroom door, checking in on her.

The wafts of coffee and toast clenched her gut and she buried her head into the bucket again.

'It's after midday, Rey, you should try have a shower.' She could only groan in response. Internally she grudgingly agreed, slowly righting her body into a sitting position, clutching the tub in her lap in case any movement proved too strenuous for her tortured body. She was still wearing her shoes, for gods sakes ... and her pants were _filthy_.

'What happened last night?' She rasped, throat throbbing, tongue thick and furry. 

'Have a shower first.' Finn ordered, not quite game enough to approach her yet. 'I'll get you some breakfast. Buttered toast and a coffee sound good? I'll get you some juice too.' More light streamed through her door as he vanished. 

Rey rose stiffly, body complaining with cracks and pops, limbs not working properly as she staggered into the bathroom, peeling off layers of alcohol stench, spew and the ever pervasive reek of cigarettes. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and shuddered. Bruised eyes, pale skin and a ratsnest for a hairdo. And ... she leant closer, eyes widening at her reflection. That had better be a goddamned bruise on her collarbone, not a hickey.

'FINN!' She wailed.

'SHOWER!' He hollered back. She knew if she called again he'd come running, instead she twisted the tap and waited for the shower to start steaming, trying to pick bobby pins out of her hair while she waited. 

Hot water soothed aching joints and cleared her insides and head, slowly reducing her ailments to sore legs and a throbbing head. Those she could work with. She brushed her teeth and spent probably a bit too long just standing under the running water, but at least she felt human as she padded back to her room, towel wrapped around herself. 

In the comfort of her PJs, Rey settled herself into her favourite rickety stool at the counter and accepted her pity brunch. 

'So ... last night?' She prompted as Finn busied himself with an omelette. He cracked a couple of eggs and tossed the shells into the garbage bin before he responded.

'You were almost passed out by the time I came back.' He admitted.

'I don't remember much.' Rey rubbed her face with the heel of her hand, before clutching her mug and savouring the heat. Just the smell was doing wonders for her stomachs stability. 

'If you could wash my jacket before you give it back, that would be great. But seriously, I'm really sorry I had to bail. Some really bad stuff went down at Poe's camp, he really needed to talk it out.'

'How's he doing over there?' Rey turned her attention to the toast, eager to prove her stomach could handle it so he'd give her some of his food. She ignored the crumbs falling down her front and over the counter top as she ate around mouthfuls of coffee. Her stomach rumbled contentedly. 

'He should be back in a month!'

'I thought it was three?'

'It was pretty bad, Rey.' She made a non-committal noise at that. She didn't condone war, but she couldn't begrudge Finns boyfriend his job. She could only hope he'd still be as chipper and ridiculous as normal when he returned. 

'How did we get home?' She changed the subject, pushing her now empty plate towards him in silent expectation, nursing her now almost depleted cup of dark heaven. 

'Taxi. You're pretty heavy, you know. And you wouldn't stop crying when I got you in.'

'Crying? What was I crying about?' He turned an arched a brow at her. Rey scowled. 'Yeah it was a shitty week, but I wouldn't cry over it.'

'Your scholarship was gutted Rey. That's kinda worth crying over.'

'Maybe.' She grumbled, draining the last of her cup. 'Would have been nice to find out before I started this semester, though.' 

'What are you going to do?' She shrugged her shoulders, not really sure of her options. 

'I guess withdraw? I can't really stay. I can't afford it. I mean, I'll ask for more shifts at work, keep living here with you, help pay rent but ... I guess I can't really keep studying.' Finns usually jovial face was marred with a frown. He sliced the omelette in half, dumping one side on her empty plate, and the other on his. He tossed her a fork and gestured to the couch. 

Settling in against him comfortably, Rey began to pick at her meal, eating slowly. 

'Can you pay for your course out of pocket?'

'I can barely afford rent now. That scholarship was basically everything.'

'Can you ... can you call him?' Rey stayed silent at that, refusing to honour it with an answer. There was no way in hell she was calling that bastard ever. Not after what he'd put her through. She knew his angle, knew what he was doing. He'd say 'sure, I'll loan you the money, but then you have to come and work for me to pay it off', like her entire life hadn't been paying off some imaginary debt to him. Slaving away in his scrap yards, endless chores in the orphanage, all to repay him for his kindness at looking after her. For the broken arms and scraps he called meals. 

'Was I with any one last night?' 

'Like I said, Sunshine, I was talking to Poe all night. Why? What happened?'

'I don't remember, but I found this.' She tugged down the loose shoulder of her sweater and showed him the bruise.

'That is _so_ a hickey! Rey! That's really not like you! What was he like?'

'I seriously can't remember anything about last night. I mean, I remember getting there, and then you walked out and then ...' she waved her fork in the air, gesturing at the big expanse of nothingness her brain was giving her.

'That sounds like my study sessions.' Finn nodded knowingly. 'I walk into the library, then I'm walking out four hours later and no idea what I've been doing.' He squealed in protest as she poked him, giggling. They fell into companionable silence as Finn switched on the TV, their half watched movie from yesterday beginning to play again. They'd seen it half a million times before, but Beauty and the Beast was obviously one of the best Disney films. Rey rested her head against his shoulder, sighing deeply as he tugged the throw rug over their legs and laps. 

'Do you reckon I did anything other than kissing?'

'You? No way. You're the biggest nun ever.' They jostled each other for a moment, before settling down again. 'I'm really sorry about everything, you know.'

'I know, thanks Finn.'


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm glad you guys are enjoying this!  
> I'm seriously loving the feedback!  
> And feel free to throw ideas at me. If I like them I'll take them!   
> This story's pretty much an open book right now. I don't even know where it's going to go!

Ben Solo stared. He simply couldn't help himself.

It was like a ghost has appeared in the door to his office. 

A lithe, flush-cheeked ghost with gorgeous hazel eyes. 

'Mister Solo?' She asked, looking up at him from the slip of paper balanced precariously atop a pile of text books. 

'Can I help you?' He asked, clearing his throat, hands smoothing down the front of his sweater vest, trying to tamp down on his nerves.

'Hi,' she plopped herself in the chair across from him, books and bag going into the second one. She smelt of flowers and rain and wood shavings. Ben stopped himself from groaning, barely. 'I need some advice about my course.'

'There are course advisors for that,' Brendon Hux offered helpfully from his desk behind Bens. The girls eyes narrowed at the head of ginger hair for a moment, before returning to look at Ben. To look at Ben like she'd never seen him before, he realised with a start. He cleared his throat nervously, trying desperately not to stare at her. She didn't remember him, that was a good thing and a professional thing. Just because the band had heckled him mercilessly all weekend for hooking up with someone that wasn't even a groupie, and then she'd upchucked all over his shoes, no ... if she didn't remember who he was, that was okay. He could definitely work with that. Because she was here, right now, in front of him, staring at him expectantly like-

'What kind of advice?' He'd definitely been staring. Her smile was slipping slightly, a furrow of concern crinkling her forehead. 

'My Scholarship was cancelled unexpectedly,' she started rifling through a backpack that had definitely seen better days. She came up with a letter, which she handed to him. 'I was just ... hoping you could tell me if it would carry me through to the end of the year, or even the semester?' Her smile was hopeful, albeit tight, like she knew things never went quite how she wanted. Ben pulled out the letter, scanning the document quickly to get the gist, before pulling up her student file with the details on the envelope.

'So you're ... Rey Smith?' She nodded. 'Birth date first of January?' She shrugged this time and he looked back at her. 'That's not your birthday?'

'It's the one they gave me.' She looked ready to argue, but he simply shrugged his shoulders and went back to the screen, not really understanding what she was on about. He skimmed through a list of fairly decent grades before scrolling back up again. He glanced at the letter still in his hand, and then looked back at her, feeling his stomach drop.

'Are you planning to withdraw if the scholarship can't fund you?' He asked, already knowing the answer.

'Yeah, I can't afford the course fees by myself, so if the scholarship can't hold me through I need to withdraw, sorry,' she offered him an even weaker smile. Her knuckles had turned white, he noticed, almost as white as his face probably looked, because something wasn't adding up. He could feel Hux turning to look at him as Ben rechecked his records, not really wanting to be the one to do this. Not just because he'd gotten drunk and had sex with her, but because he genuinely hated shattering anyones world. And this was pretty shattering.

'Uh, well, Rey,' he finally said into the extended silence. Hux was blatantly staring at him now, waiting to see why Ben was taking so long to kick a girl out of school. 'The letter clearly says that funding stops as of the beginning of next month, but ... well ... the file, our files, the _schools_ files say that funding was cut at the beginning of last year. I ... I don't know how you've managed to re-enrol into courses. You actually have an outstanding debt. You should have received letters about it.' 

The heater clicked noisily in the suddenly oppressive silence in the office.

And then she laughed.

A deep, honest laugh.

The two men stared at her in surprise, shooting each other a nervous look. They were used to temper tantrums and tears. Not laughter.

'I'm sorry!' She finally gasped as she pulled herself back together again. 'That's impossible, you must have the wrong file. I haven't received any letters, let me just-' she leant forward, hair falling in his face, rewarding him with a deep breath of her shampoo, as she studied his screen. 'That ... that's his postal address, not mine ...' she sat back, heavily. 'I never got any letters ... can ...' she fell silent, chewing her bottom lip.

'Do you have a job?' Hux asked, not unkindly. Most students shrugged it off with their parents credit card, or managed to work out some sort of finance plan. Judging by the naturally worn holes in her jeans, and the frayed cuffs of her well-worn flannel jacket, Ben Solo doubted she'd be able to do either of those things. 

She cried this time.

'I was just fired, the cafe's closing.' Ben shoved the whole tissue box at her as she put her hands over her face and simply sobbed. Today was turning into one hell of an emotional rollercoaster.

'I can ... see if there's any other scholarship that might apply?' He offered helplessly. Hux was simply watching them, not lifting a finger to help, like usual. Ben rose and moved around his desk, shifting her things so he could sit next to her. 'Listen, Rey, if you need a job, there's actually a position in the office you can take. I mean, it's not exciting, but it pays well, and judging by those text books, I think you know how to spell, so filing shouldn't be too hard ...' He trailed off as she slowly began to compose herself again. Small hiccupy breaths shook her small frame as she noisily blew her nose and wiped at her face. 

'I'm sorry, I'm usually better than this, I just ... it's been a really shit week.' Which was why she'd been out drinking, he recalled uncomfortably. He also recalled her saying she didn't just sleep with people. Apparently it was a week of boundary breaking for her. Ben inhaled deeply, trying to focus on the here and now, and not Friday night. 

'How about I look into some options for you, okay? I can forward you payment plans and any scholarships that may be applicable to your situation. Is there any chance you can contact your old fund to see if they can help with costs?' She shook her head, staring at her hands as she picked nervously at her nails. 'Well, you have until the end of the month before you actually need to withdraw, so why don't you leave the correct contact details for me, and I'll see what I can do?'

'And the job?'

'Hmm?' She looked up at him, her face slightly puffy from her tears. 

'Would I be starting straight away? I ... I still need to pay rent, and eat so ... if I could apply for it ...'

'Hux?' Ben glanced over at his Manager. Hux swivelled in his chair, facing the two of them. 

'You work Monday to Friday around your class hours, nine to five, plus a lunch break because yes we do understand that you need a break from study and work. I'm also fine with you taking shorter weeks through exam period because, again, we're not heartless here. You don't need fancy clothes, what you're wearing is fine, you get a name card anyway, and you can start today because the last girl was awful and we have a lot of unfiled paperwork lying around.' He waved his hand in the direction of a closed door, presumably filled to the brim with said paperwork. 

'Actually start today?' She stammered, as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing. Hux sighed and turned away.

'I'll need a copy of your timetable, to get your hours, and your bank details so we can actually pay you. Don't worry about a resume. The last girl had one and that proved utterly pointless.' 

'Thank you!' She bounded up from the seat. 'I don't have any classes, I can start now, if you have time to show me what to do I ... have ... never actually worked in an office before. What do I actually do? Is it hard? Do I have to answer phones?' Ben held up his hands to stop the overflow of questions. He was starting to question himself and his huge mouth. It didn't really matter, she'd be the buildings filing girl, she probably wouldn't even be in here that often ... but ... what was he thinking? Hux groaned from his desk before pushing himself violently away, rising to his feet.

'Settle down and I'll show you.' He grumbled, actually doing his job, for once.

\-----

'Just like that?'

'Isn't that great?' Rey squirmed with delight as Finn handed her a bowl of noodles. She breathed in the steam and sighed with contentment. There would be no movies tonight, only assignments and study, they'd promised each other. That didn't mean they couldn't gossip over an extended meal, though. 

'I mean, it's really bad Maz's cafe's closed down, but ... I mean, if it's a cruisey as you say it is, and the guys that hired you -'

'Are so _nice_! I mean, Hux seems like a bit of an ass, but he's ridiculously attractive, illegally so. And Ben seems like a goof. He keeps dropping things and apologising.' 

'He attractive too?' Rey waggled her hand in the air. Half-half the gesture said. 'Did they find any solutions?'

'Ben said he'd look into it tomorrow while I'm in class.' She paused then, sighing. She hadn't told Finn the full story. The part where she was now in debt up to her eyeballs.

'You okay, Sunshine?'

'Yeah, it was just a really busy day.' She covered with a huge grin, not wanting to stress him out. She had a new job, she could pay the rent, that was all that mattered for now. For once things seemed to be looking fairly positive, and she had to believe they'd stay that way. Good things came to those that waited, wasn't that the phrase?

'Like, how hot, though?'

'Like, if he was gay you'd be all over that before you could introduce yourself.' 

'Nice.' Finn rubbed noodle juice off his face. 'I'm really happy for you.' 

'I'm happy for me, too. Do we really need to study?' Finns pause was long, the final answer a resigned yes. But they didn't get up for another hour.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The amount of love I'm getting is just mind-boggling!  
> Thank you so much!  
> I'm so grateful for all the comments, it really makes me want to write more for you guys!  
> I'm also fangirling over comments from people whose stories I love.  
> What a crazy, whacky world.
> 
> Also, forewarning ... this ship may not be as straight forward as we all first thought D= WHAT HAVE I DONE?!  
> Is anyone else crushing on the Hux/Ben bromance? I know I am.
> 
> ... Enjoy! <3

'This is all your fault.' Ben grumbled, slamming the office door closed.

'You got a little-' Hux tapped his eye, an eyebrow arching. 'And what's my fault?' That small, sardonic smile was gracing his face again. Ben scowled, using the blank monitor as a mirror to rub away the rest of the eyeliner still staining his skin. 

'Hiring her. You knew, didn't you?' Hux chuckled.

'You are the most obvious person in the world.' Ben slammed his fist against the desk, hard. 'What gave it away, I hear you ask? You wouldn't shut up about her all morning, and then this girl walks in and you're a bumbling fool. It really doesn't take a genius.' 

'I couldn't sleep last night I feel so stressed.'

'Well then tell her and ease your poor conscience.' Bens mouth opened and closed helplessly as he stared at his Manager, brain not quite able to compute just how that would work. It was only Tuesday and he was already good to pull the plug and go home for the week. He'd even almost cancelled their gig last night, sore throat story concocted. He _never_ considered cancelling gigs. 

'I can't do that.' He finally groused, as Hux laughed in delight. 

'I could have made her dress corporate, nice pencil skirt, tight button up blouse ...'

'Pretty sure that's sexual harassment.' 

'Ben, the only person I harass here is you.'

'Only because you're paid to.' Ben flicked on his monitor, determined to find something useful for Rey. 

\-----

He had sinned so fucking hard at some stage in his life. He could feel pure delight radiating off Hux at his discomfort. Leggings, boots and a T-shirt. That was what she thought was okay to wear to work. She was wearing leggings that showed off her damnably amazing legs and arse and - Ben turned away quickly, holding his breath. He exhaled slowly.

'Good morning Rey!' Hux offered cheerfully. 'Ready for another exciting day of alphabetising our records?'

'It's all I ever dreamed about,' she chirped back, the sound of her voice was everything good in this world and more. 'Hey Ben, did you manage to find anything for me?' He was forced to turn back and look at her, at the huge smile and sparkling eyes and how had she ever let him ... he cleared his throat. 

'I've been a bit busy this morning, I started but then ...' he waved his hands helplessly. It evidently made sense to her, though, somehow, because she nodded understandingly and vanished into her new work space. His forehead hit the desk with a loud thump.

'Now, do you like her because you screwed her, or because you think she's nice?' Hux whispered in his ear. Ben jerked violently. He hadn't heard Hux even get out of his seat, let alone felt him lean over Ben's slumped form. 

'Fuck off Hux, go terrorise someone else.'

'I don't think these are your records ...' Rey's voice trailed off. Both men looked up at her questioningly as she hovered in the doorway, staring at them. Hux took his time tucking a lock of Bens hair behind his ear, as if it was something done every day. Ben shoved him away roughly, straightening himself, hands running down the front of his oversized cardigan. Her eyebrows had risen almost into her hairline at the picture they'd made for her. 'Don't worry about it.' The girl said pleasantly, turning away. 'I'll stop bothering the two of you.'

'No, it's not-' but she was already back in her room, shifting boxes around again. Hux settled himself on the edge of Bens desk, fingers drumming against the wood as green eyes met dark brown. Ben glared, rage bubbling in his gut. Now not only did she not remember him, which fair enough they were both drunk, she now thought he was gay. With Hux. Fucking, smarmy Hux. The arsehole. 'There is a special place in Hell for you.' He growled.

'It's called Upper Management,' Hux retorted easily, still not moving. 'Listen, Solo, as your Manager, I feel like I need to talk to you about appropriate and inappropriate office behaviour. I think staring at the new girl could be considered bad, I also think you should probably help her find a scholarship or some sort of payment plan so she isn't sent into some sort of bankruptcy situation and thrown out onto the street because she can't pay her rent. You know ... like you're paid to do. Because it's your job. To help students. Not ogle them. Even if they have an incredible asset.' Hux raised a slender hand and then clipped Ben over the back of the head with it. 'Do you understand, Mister Solo?'

'Can you get off my desk now?' Hux stood, straightening his pressed business shirt. 

'I hope you guys are still playing this Friday, I was thinking of inviting Rey along as a little office bonding exercise.'

'What, no-'

'How far back do we keep records?' Rey interrupted again. Hux was up and with her instantaneously, leaving Ben to sit and glare at his fists on the desk. 

\-----

Ben had been ready for the week to end by Monday afternoon. By Thursday he was prepared to set the calendar on fire and never leave his apartment ever again.

He stared at his reflection in the mirror by the door. Really stared. Critically.

Was he really that unmemorable? He looked exactly the same as he had on stage ... granted he wore eyeliner, and black jeans, and a black shirt, and a leather jacket, and he brushed his hair ... not like the middle-aged librarian staring back in the tanned trousers, beige, knitted cardigan and cream shirt. Ben enjoyed keeping his passion separate from his job, it's what made it even more special and enjoyable. His stage persona was so cocky and arrogant, so chic and rock and roll and just ... so not what he was really like. Ben tugged at an ear, wishing he had normal ones that stuck to his skull, like everyone else, which his nose wasn't slightly too big, wishing in general he wasn't a giant. 

It was starting to really hurt, unintentional though it was. He understood that, logically, but emotionally? She was so cheerful and easy going at work. With Hux. She asked Hux any questions, touched his arm whenever she laughed at any of his jokes, smiled whenever he walked near her ... but for Ben? A brief smile or a wave. No touches, no questions except for the 'any news' one which made him feel like a failure, because he had been looking, really! She was just so distracting. 

Ben sighed and stomped out the door, trotting down to his parked car so he could hurry up and get another ridiculous day over with.

'You are fifteen minutes early.' Hux announced as Ben walked through the door.

'I'm always fifteen minutes early.'

'You're incredibly predictable is what you are. I also predict that today you will give Rey an answer so I don't have to give you a warning about your job.'

'Seriously?'

'Only always, Mister Solo.' Ben plonked himself down and set himself to work immediately. Hux had rolled his chair to Bens side, his breath tickling Bens hair against his face.

'Can you not?' Ben rumbled under his breath.

'Can you work faster? She doesn't have class today, so she'll be in soon and I want answers!' 

'Why are you so interested?' Ben pushed away and rounded on Hux. The red head simply smiled thinly at him. 

'Ben, as cute as you look while you're jealous I promise you I'm just getting you to do your actual job, so please just do it. That scholarship looks promising, and it even backdates to the beginning of semester. Print it out.' Grumbling, Ben complied. It wasn't until that afternoon he realised what Hux had done. And Ben wasn't overly impressed.

'So, I just had a chat to Rey,' he began after the girl in question had gone for her lunch break. Hux made a non-committal sound, pretending he was busy reading an email. 'Apparently you saved her a bunch of trouble.'

'Did I?'

'About you helping her apply for a new scholarship program, and helping her get one of her professors as a referee for her?'

'Possibly.'

'Fuck it Hux, that's my job!'

'And you were doing so admirably.'

'She already thinks I'm an incompetent arse!'

'And she thinks right.' Hux finally turned to face him, arching a brow at Bens rage. 'What does it matter who told her what? That's this departments job.' Ben clenched his fists, trying to stop the anger from going past the point of no return. One thing seemed painfully clear, though.

'You're trying to make a pass at her!'

'That would be incredibly unprofessional of me.'

'Oh, shove off it Hux, you don't care about this job. You're waiting for your Uncle to make space for you in his boardroom. Big shot Brendon Hux, future CEO of F.O., how grand that will be.' He was on his feet, voice low as he spat the words. Hux stared up at him calmly, unintimidated by the seething mass of man in front of him. 

'Ben Solo, you do have a temper, don't you? Listen, if I was making a pass at Miss Smith, and I'm not saying that I am, she _doesn't remember you_. That means it's an open playing field and no one has an advantage. Except for me because she doesn't seem to like you much.' Hux turned his chair back to his desk and started typing a response to the email, as if Ben wasn't breathing down his neck, threatening to rip the head off of Hux's straight shoulders. 

'Yo? Do I talk to you guys about enrolment issues?' A guy was knocking at the door, forcing Ben to turn around and handle the interruption.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently Hux doesn't want to be a pleb his whole life. And he's kinda nice to his mates.  
> Also Finn appears again.
> 
> HEY. SO I JUST JOINED TUMBLR. I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT DOES.  
> Halp!  
> I dare you to guess my username. Dare you.

Hux wasn't a huge fan of rock music, or metal, or whatever it was Ben was currently singing to his impressive little gaggle of fans. He preferred the stylistic overtures of classical symphonies, swelling with emotion and power. Something his father had brought him up to enjoy.

This ... this was more like white noise, speeding up his inevitable deafness. 

He stared into his untouched glass of house wine, house wine only because they had no other selection, and hummed to himself. He couldn't hear it, the deep bass echoing through his body saw to that, but the action itself was soothing.

Hux hadn't invited Rey, like he'd threatened. Oh, it had been fun watching Solo squirm with it, but truthfully he didn't want to jog the girls memory. Truthfully he found her quite interesting. In a very unprofessional way. 

'Having fun?' Hux looked up as Ben joined him, a completely different person in his Kylo form. A much more attractive form.

'As much as I possibly could in this dive.'

'You didn't have to come, you know.' And there he was, Ben Solo, petulant and sulking. Hux smiled. 

'I had to make sure you weren't going to cause any more trouble.' The smile vanished as another man joined them, the drummer, if he recalled correctly.

'Hey, Kylo, you want a beer?' Ben shook his head. 

'You remember Hux, Reg?' Reg nodded a quick hello before vanishing towards the bar. 'I'm not going to cause any more trouble.' Kylo huffed, watching his band mate walk away. They settled into silence for a moment, observing the crowd. A couple of girls were eyeing Ben, trying to catch his attention. Like every other gig Hux had been to, the dark giant seemed utterly oblivious. It was a wonder he was even in his current predicament. 

'How is the band going, anyway?' Hux asked after the silence had stretched on long enough and the music had sufficiently killed more of his hearing. The table was sticky under his hands, but he tried not to let it bother him. 

'It's okay. I mean, we'll never make it, but it's nice to dream.' There were dark locks plastered to his forehead with sweat. Hux frowned slightly, running a hand over his smooth hair in response to the sight.

'You sound like you're going to call it quits.'

'Not until the other guys do. I'm having fun, you know? And it helps pay the bills, not like Mister Bigshot here, waiting for some old arsehole to have a heart attack so he can step into a new job.' 

'I can get you a job too, you know. You're not that much of an idiot.'

'Like a secretary? Want me to wear a short skirt and low cut top?'

'Please don't.' Hux couldn't stop the shudder of revulsion at the thought of Ben greeting him like that every morning. 'I am serious, though. When Father clears me a spot, I'll haul your arse in, too. Much better wage, I can swing you better hours, too, so you can keep up your band stuff.' Ben rested his chin on his hand, elbow propped against the table.

'You've really thought about this, haven't you?'

'Ben, if I don't drag you out of that dead end job, you'll never leave.'

'What about Rey?' Hux paused, confused.

'What about Rey?' He returned the question, not following Bens logic.

'Well, do we just leave her?' Hux couldn't stop the laugh. 

'You are such a short-sighted, simple-minded twat, you know that, right? She'll probably be gone by then.'

'You've seen her bill.'

'I've worked out a payment plan with her, like you were supposed to. Half her pay goes straight into paying off the debt. If she stays with us to Christmas, she'll get a bonus and that will go straight into paying off the debt. Whatever hell hole she crawled out of, she's determined not to go back.'

'Hell hole?' Hux inhaled deeply, for once not caring about the incredibly overpowering stench of mould in the air. 

'Ben, for someone with such big ears, you need to listen more. And maybe look. She cycles through the same three pairs of clothes, everything she owns is second hand or very old, and she does not want us to even think about contacting her old scholarship fund.'

'We've only known her a week.' Ben groused. 'Maybe it's washing week.' 

'And maybe you're an ignorant fuck. Your band's going to start without you.' Without warning, Ben plucked the wine out of Hux's grip, knocked it back and sauntered off. Hux exhaled heavily through his nose, glaring at the empty cup. It was like talking to a brick wall, sometimes, only brick walls were wittier. 

He could be such a child. Such an ignorant, annoying little pest of a child. Hux steadied himself, centering his thoughts to rise above it all. This was a conversation they could deal with later, in the office, not here with some over-perfumed girl slinking into the seat next to him, eyelashes batting because she thought he was her ticket to Kylo of the Knights of Ren. Good-fucking-luck Princess. 

Without saying a word, Hux stood up and went to the bar for another wine to sit and brood over.

\-----

'I hate essays.' Her words were accompanied by her textbook sliding across the kitchen floor, from her room into the family area. Finn turned and looked back at her, eyebrows rising.

'What's it about?'

'If I knew this wouldn't be so _hard_.'

'Did you want to go out?'

'After last week? No.' She stood and leant against the doorframe, arms folded over her chest, body engulfed by the huge jumper she was wearing. The apartment was freezing and they couldn't afford heating. Finn patted the couch, so she willingly joined him under the throw rug. He tossed his own study notes onto the coffee table, making room for her. 'Have you heard from Poe again?'

'Nah, he said he'll message me the pick-up details though. Can you believe he'll be here in under a month? That's honestly just ... madness to me.' Finn was vibrating with excitement. 

'So, we go back to the previous scenario?' She asked gently, not really sure how to bring it up. It had been bugging her for a week now, especially considering her financial circumstances. 

'Yeah, yeah, if that's fine with you? He'll pay a third-'

'And you guys keep it down this time, okay? I can only wear earmuffs to bed through winter.' Finn had the decency to blush and the wicked streak to grin lecherously at the memories. 

'So what's it like finishing your first week at the new job?' He'd been working last night and hadn't had the chance to ask. Rey grinned at him, pressing her head into his arm and snuggling in for extra warmth. He adjusted so her head hit his side, his arm wrapping around her instead. She huffed at the movement, but settled in regardless, breathing in his familiar warm smell of coffee and cinnamon. 'Mister Boss still Mister Hottie?'

'He's really nice, Finn, like you wouldn't believe. I mean, Maz was nice, yeah, but she was kind of weird. Hux is always happy to help, _and_ he helped find me a scholarship, and sort out my finances around it, _and_ he seems like he actually cares about the people that work for him!' Although she couldn't see it, she could feel the sceptical look on Finns overly expressive face.

'You sure he just doesn't want to grope the new office girl?'

'Pretty sure Ben does,' she said, scowling. 'He's kind of a creep.' 

'How so?' Rey pulled the rug up higher, sinking further into his side as she answered.

'He always stares, and he never talks. Well, he does, but he just kind of mumbles, and drops things, and then he just argues with Hux. He's really weird. The only time he seems kind of normal is when there's a student talking to him.'

'Maybe he likes you?' Finn teased. Rey laughed. 

'I think he's scared of girls. It's kind of funny, and sad. He's still creepy though.'

'Scared of ... girls? You lot aren't scary unless you're in packs, then woah boy watch out.' 

'I think he's, I dunno.' She scrunched up her nose, thinking back on Hux curled leaning over Ben, pale fingers threading through Bens hair. 'Are people in a workplace allowed to be together?'

'You wanna be with creepy guy?'

'No! No! Not me!'

'Then with your boss? I mean, that's fine, I'd rather him than the girl hater.' Rey smacked him in the chest to make him shut up for a moment.

'I just saw something, when I started, between them.'

'Ohhhhhh,' Finn drew the sound out, hands tapping a beat against his thighs under the rug. 'You think they're doing the nasty when you're not there?'

'I dunno.' She shrugged.

'They're two adults, I mean, it's a shame about Mister Hot Boss, but at least the takes the pressure off about Mister Creep.'

'I guess.'

'Do you think it would be illegal for me to pick Poe up at the airport naked?' Rey laughed again at the conversation switch, hugging Finn tightly, whole body shaking with his hyperactivity.

'Probably, but I'd be more worried about you catching a cold. And ... shrinkage.' He started tickling her for that.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, guys, I've learnt how to use Tumblr.  
> Thanks for that.  
> Like I wasn't wasting my life away already.
> 
> Shout out to the wonderful [ LucidLucy](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucidlucy/pseuds/Lucidlucy) who is now my most awesomest Beta ever.  
> I'm also a huge fangirl of hers, so it's like a dream come true, really.  
> If you haven't read her things, do yourself a favour and stick your eyeballs to her words.

'You don't go out much?' Hux seemed uncharacteristically surprised. Rey shrugged, tucking loose strands of hair behind her ears. 

'It's not that big a deal.' She idly brushed off one of her hairs that had fallen onto his impossibly neat desk, watching it drift to the floor. 

'So you wouldn't ever come out drinking with us?' Ben choked on his coffee at Huxs words. Rey glanced at him, not bothering to hide her annoyance at his interruption as she did so, the scowl flashing across her face. Coffee was dribbling down his chin, splattering down the front of a shirt that looked like he'd stolen it from an elderly man. 

'I didn't say never, just not often. I can't really afford it either, you know.' Hux leant back in his chair, arms folding over his chest. Cool green eyes studied her face for a long moment. She felt a flush of heat roll through her at the attention, and she found herself struggling to hold his gaze. Pale lashes narrowed ever so slightly as he pursed his lips. 

'Come out with us one night, I'll shout you a few rounds, no pressure.' Ben was coughing again, but she ignored him this time, too focused on Hux, on his shirt stretched across his chest, straining around his shoulders. 

'I have some assignments due next week, and I still need to chase down Professor Skywalker for a reference for my scholarship application-'

'You haven't done that yet? Ben!' Hux spun around and glared at the back of Ben Solo's head until the man turned around. 'Are you seriously that fucking incompetent you can't even handle organising a reference?' Bens mouth opened and closed uselessly, brown eyes wide in surprise. They slid up to Reys face and dropped away again, quickly. 'How about you get up off your arse and do it! Take Rey now.'

'He could be in class right now.' One long arm extended to point at the phone on Ben's desk. The dark haired man sullenly picked up the receiver, found the correct number, and made the call. A few moments later he was unfolding himself from his seat and grabbing a folder from his desk. 'He's free if we head over now.' Rey rolled her eyes at Hux before pushing herself away from his desk, walking towards the door. She paused in the hallway, turning to make sure Ben was following. He wasn't, his head was close to Hux's and they were whispering ... intensely. 

'Boys, now!' She snapped. They both looked at her, then one another. Hux smirked and Ben grimaced. Only then did he move to follow her.

\-----

Professor Skywalker was a little eccentric. Rey stared around his office, at the seemingly hundreds of books lining his shelves, dusty artefacts jumbled haphazardly before them. 

'Miss Smith, Mister Solo, what do I owe the pleasure?' Blue eyes sparkled warmly from his sun-wrinkled skin. Rey watched in fascination as his beard bobbed when his jaw moved, as if it were almost ... waving at her. She'd always been too busy to notice during lectures, frantically copying down notes from his slides. She'd taken his first class in her first year as a guilty pleasure, a reward for escaping her past, only to take another course the second semester, because she'd loved it so much. English literature wasn't supposed to be her focus, but then the world clearly never turned out like you expected it to. 

'Professor I have a favour to ask.' She began, leaning forward, comfortable in the presence of the tweed suited man; a living, breathing stereotype of eccentric professors. 'You know about my ... situation?' He nodded slowly and she sighed in relief, not really wanting to have to revisit their previous conversation from her first year in front of creepy Ben Solo. 'Well, I'm in the middle of applying for a new scholarship, otherwise I need to pull out of school, so I was wondering if I could use you as a character reference, for being a good student or whatever point you want to pimp me on?' A wave of amusement washed over his face at her phrasing.

'Good student sounds fine,' the Professor agreed, holding out a hand for the files. 'Agreeable, knowledgeable, not afraid to ask questions or argue opinions, hands in all papers before their due date and scores well above the average. I don't think I'll have much of a problem. Give me a few moments and I'll write this all down.' He pulled out a quill, dipped it in an ink pot, and began carefully transcribing his thoughts onto the computer printed form.

Rey and Ben stared in mutual fascination and bewilderment.

No freaking way.

They shared a glance of utter amusement before Rey looked away quickly, scowling, wishing that Hux had joined her instead. 

'How is your mother doing?' Skywalker spoke into the silence of the room, disturbed only by the tap of the nib against the ink pot, and the scratch of the quill against paper. He had to keep stopping to wait for his words to dry. 

'She's busy, I guess,' Ben mumbled. Rey glanced back at him in surprise. 'I don't talk to her often.'

'I can imagine not. I probably speak to her even less. And your father?'

'I think the case was overruled and he got let off.' 

'Well that's a relief. Your Mother must be pretty happy.'

'Pretty pissed, more like.' Silence again, as Ben watched the Professor write, and Rey watched Ben. His face was surprisingly blank, save for the slight frown in the corner of his mouth and the faint crease under his eye from some hidden stress.

'Here we are. A little succinct, but I've added my contact details, and they can call any time. I want you to stay in my classes Rey, I feel like you're the only one who actually understands what I'm trying to teach.' Professor Skywalker looked up at her, and she swore there was a hint of pride in those clear blue eyes. Rey accepted with a huge smile, taking care not to touch the elegant letters he'd just agonised over. 

'Thank you so much Professor.' She rounded the desk and hugged him, not really caring whether it was appropriate or not. He hugged her back after a moment, arms encircling her rather awkwardly, before releasing her so she and Ben could step out into the corridor and escape outside. 

The wind was strong, tugging at their clothes the instant they stepped through the building doors. Icy fingers pulled at her jacket, slipping through the gaps of her collar and sleeve, the threat of rain lingering in the damp kiss of the air. Rey snuggled down into her jumper, burying her nose into the top of her scarf for warmth, paper clutched tightly in her fingers. 

'So you know the Professor, then?' She asked lightly. Ben was clomping along at her side, keeping his stride short for her sake. His footsteps were impossibly, and annoyingly, heavy and loud, even over the wind in her ears.

'My Uncle.' Ben said. Rey looked up at him in surprise. There was absolutely no family resemblance. He glanced down at her and she quickly focused her gaze back on the administration building. 

'He's a really nice man.'

'Yeah, he is.' And then there was nothing but awkward silence until Ben was sliding back into his seat and Rey was producing her new reference with a flourish to Hux. She couldn't keep the smile off her face, or the flutter of butterflies in her stomach when Hux returned it. 

'So we get to send this off now, right?' She asked impatiently. The month was rolling along much quicker than she'd like, and she needed to know as soon as possible if she'd be accepted. Hux nodded agreeably, plucking the sheet out of her hands. He stood up suddenly, startling her with his proximity. A wall of warmth pressing against her before she could step hurriedly back, bumping into the back of Bens chair as she did so, almost tripping onto him. 

'I just need to scan this and then I'll deal with all the rest for you.'

'Thanks Hux.' She sighed, moving quickly away from Ben's general vicinity, shadowing Hux as he waited for the temperamental scanner to start up. 'So, I guess if I finish all my assignments I can come out with you?'

'I'd really like that, Rey. I think it'd be good for the three of us to hang out in non-work hours.' Rey decided she liked the sound of that just fine.

\-----

'Ben!' She poked her head out of the filing room, nose itchy with the amount of dust she'd unearthed. Whoever the last girl had been, she had clearly been born without any sort of mental capacity. Her filing techniques included: Step 1: Pick up paper. Step 2: Cram paper in box. Step 3: Repeat. There was no order and no technique. An impossible amount of important, and slightly confidential files were creased and bent to the point where Rey had a flattening system worked out under a flipped desk and a boxes of more files she still had to sort through, sitting on top as weight. That wasn't including the stuff that hadn't put in the boxes. Draws, shelves, Rey had even found files stuffed behind the furniture. And alphabetical order? Year order? Please. The dimwit probably couldn't even spell her own name, let alone manage to comprehend a simple cataloguing system. 

Rey stared at the back of Bens head.

He was decidedly not working.

'Ben!' She called again, louder, coming to stand in the doorway between her domain and the office. She clutched a handful of manilla folders, idly waving them to clear off a few cobwebs. These had been sitting under a worn couch she'd just discovered. Because apparently there was a couch in her small filing room. 

The mop head didn't so much as twitch in her direction. Unbelievable. 

Rey stepped into the office and paused. Hux had left five minutes ago and the office was silent save for a faint tapping ... headphones, she realised. Ben was listening to music. Even more frustrated, because the idiot obviously wouldn't hear his phone, or someone at the door, Rey stalked forward and touched his arm. 

She had enough time to register the surprising feeling of solid muscle under the layers of knitted fabric before he jerked away, jumping out of his seat, headphones ripping from his ears.

'Holy mother of mercy,' Rey shrieked, heart beating like it wanted to explode through her ribcage. 'Tense much?!' He was staring at her wide-eyed, panting, hair a wild storm cloud about his head.

'What?' He finally snapped, looking like he was mid-heart attack. 

'I think these are yours,' she waved the files at him and watched his pinkening face blanche. 'I almost filed them until I saw your name on one of the pages.' He was moving towards her, panicked and crowding her. The sudden change had her complete and utter devious attention. Rey grinned at him and pulled the files behind her back, away from his grasping fingers. 'I mean, they _are_ yours, right? Was it poetry? I didn't really look ... much.' 

'Give those back.' He actually snarled the words, surprising her. She'd seen him bite back at Hux occasionally, but there was genuine anger in his dark eyes, frustration and embarrassment warring over his expressive face. It almost made her give in, almost. Instead she gave him her best smile, tilting her head back to throw it in his face, because Ben Solo obviously didn't read work policies about invading peoples personal bubbles or what could be considered possible sexual harassment. 

'What's the big deal? You don't want me reading some love sap of yours?' She turned her back to him so she could make a show of looking through the pages. Apparently Ben wasn't patient enough for her theatrics, because he was lurching forward, tripping into her as Rey turned to look over her shoulder.

A surprisingly firm body careened into her, both of them grunting hard as they hit the ground. Rey tilted her head back slightly, the edge of a filing cabinet a mere inch from the top of her skull.

'What is your _deal_?' She snapped, wheezing, elbow aching where she'd landed on it, body twisted awkwardly under his, the files trapped neatly under her so he still couldn't get them.

'Those are mine. Don't look in things that don't belong to you.' Rey wriggled, trying to get free, managing to work her right arm loose so she could smack him on the forehead. The oaf seemed to be too busy sulking to even consider getting off her. 

'That's my job, you moron! Will you get _off_? You're heavy and you're _hurting_ me!' He shifted slightly, allowing her crushed lungs a little more oxygen, and her legs more room to kick him once 'accidentally' in the gut as she got up, clutching the folders to her chest, shoulders heaving as she glared at him. Ben rose a little more slowly, using his desk to help pull himself up. He stuck his hand out, expectantly.

'Give them to me.' She felt like her eyebrows were about to shoot into her hairline. Was he actually ordering her?

'If you wanted them you shouldn't have hidden them.'

'I didn't hide them!' He was so indignant, face flushed again, dark eyes angry. 'Now give them back! Now! You have no right nosing through my files! I could put in a report on your behaviour!' She felt like he'd slapped her. What had been a bit of light-hearted fun had flipped drastically, and she was now extremely pissed. 

'Fine, Ben. If you're going to be such a little bitch.' She flung them up over him, watching with little satisfaction as the sheaf exploded above his head, dancing white papers through the air.

Rey turned on her heel and stormed out, shoulder slamming into Hux's as she literally ran into him in the hall.

'Woah, Rey-'

'He is such a fucking arsehole.' She spat, not bothering to slow down.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love your reactions!  
> You guys are the best!  
> Please don't hate on Rey too much. She's only a people! People can be irrational!  
> And, well ... the fans ask, the fans shall receive! Enjoy!

Ben was crouched on the floor, picking up handwritten notes when Hux entered.

'What did you do?' He demanded before Ben even realised he was there. The tall man jumped and looked up, scowled and went back to what he was doing. Hux waded through the mess and sat down, folding his arms over his chest, gaze narrowing down the length of his nose at the mop of dark hair. 'Ben, what did you do to Rey?'

'Nothing.'

'You are twenty-nine, not six. Use big boy words.' But the big man wasn't biting, which gave Hux a little pause. Instead he focused his attention on what Ben was actually doing. 'Are those lyrics?'He finally said as Ben shuffled a stack of papers into some semblance of order. 

'She thought they were poems.'

'What, did you leave them lying around for her to find? Are you really that eager for her to find out you guys banged in a bathroom?' That got a rise. Ben turned and glared, lips pressed tightly together. 

'No.' He barely moved his lips as he said it. Hux could feel the beginning of a headache knocking at his temples. He restrained the frustrated sigh and opted for leaning forward slightly instead, forcing himself to keep his voice as calm and as even as possible. The result was him scowling down at Ben, voice frustrated. 

'Why _are_ you being such a little bitch then?'

'Because they're not hers to look at!' Ben snapped, slamming the reclaimed file down onto his desk with a loud bang, standing quickly in his rage.

'You sing your songs in front of strangers three to four times a week. You once sang them in front of Rey and then had, and I quote: "the most amazingly mind-blowing drunk sex ever". Why is this a problem? They look too old to be public declarations of your love to her.' But Ben was holding something back, he could see it in the way he held himself, hands curled into fists, shoulders tensed, body angled away from Hux. The headache was starting throb, little spasms of pain pumping with his heart beat. There was a report due in two hours that had yet to receive any of Hux's attention. He really didn't have time for Ben's little melodrama, or his little Kylo fits of over-exertion. 

'That's not it.' Ben finally whispered, still not turning to look Hux in the eye. Hux glanced at the time, then turned to face his computer, shrugging a single shoulder. If Ben wasn't going to talk Hux wasn't going to pry, because they were currently in office hours and Hux had actual work to do. 'The bitch hid them on me.'

'Are you calling Rey a bitch, Ben?' Hux called out warningly, filling out the required details for the report form. 

'No. The last girl. Mina.' Hux's eyes narrowed. He knew there was something there, something that Ben was hiding, but as of yet he hadn't worked it out. Ben never let their mockery of the last assistant breach anything past her uselessness. She was an otherwise untouched subject he still hadn't been able to draw the tall man out on.

'So Mina hid them on you?'

'Yes.' So quiet and vehement. Hux allowed himself to close his eyes for a moment, before turning his chair back to face his moronic office mate.

'Ben, why would Mina hide your files? She couldn't put the documents she was SUPPOSED to file in the filing room. Why would she take yours?' Ben scowled, glancing momentarily at Hux's face, before dropping his gaze to his feet.

'I don't know.'

'There you have it. Our last, incompetent office assistant was just being, rather predictably, incompetent. And why do those ones matter so much, anyway? All you do is scream about drugs and violent sexual liaisons.' That got a small smile from Ben, his temper was easing. Hux suppressed his relief, felt his headache recede slightly.

'This stuff wasn't for the band.' That had Hux's complete attention. But Ben had flipped on Rey over the contents of the files, Hux wasn't willing to have his head ripped off for his curiosity. 

'Well get Reys things and lock them in my filing cabinet. I doubt she'll be back today. And you better buy her some chocolate or something as an apology, got it?'

'Yeah, right.' Ben was stooping to collect more scraps, frowning. At least there was no longer a storm cloud threatening to explode over his head anymore. Hux shook his head as he returned to his work. It was as if he worked in a day care, not a university.

\-----

Hands trailed down her sides and she moaned, skin overheated in the wake of those electrical finger tips.

'Please,' she whispered as he nuzzled against her neck, trailing kisses along the points that made her body tingle and heart stop. Everything in her was singing, trembling with the need and the want. 'Please,' she tried again, leaning her head back against his broad shoulder, eyes fluttering closed as she felt his hands slide over her hips, tickling and caressing as they slid under the band of her underwear, tracing patterns of lust. Her moan was loud, echoing through the room. But it wasn't her room. Rey lost the train of thought as pleasure jolted through her, curving her forwards. A strong arm held her back against his chest, keeping her standing while her legs trembled and she keened from the sheer mind-numbing joy he was creating with those dexterous fingers.

It was good.

Too good.

Earth shatteringly good.

'Please,' she found herself saying again, but this time it was for him. He let her slide down to the floor, kneeling before him as she unzipped his fly, undid the button and slid his dark pants around his thighs. 

He was hard and throbbing, already beading in anticipation of what was to come. 

Unable to suppress her giggle of delight, Rey slid her hand around him and squeezed gently, savouring the sound of his deep-throated moan. His legs tensed visibly as she began to move up and down the length of him. She was heady with the scent and feel of him. With the need _for_ him. Rey opened her mouth, tongue extended as she looked through her lashes up at him, up at his face as she tasted him.

And she froze as Ben Solo stared back at her, his face heavy with lust. 

'Please,' he echoed her word back to her, 'Please.' 

Rey awoke with a start, heart pounding hard in her chest, blood rushing in her ears as she stared wild-eyed into the darkness of her room. Sweat slick, she gasped for air.

What. The. Fuck.

She smothered her scream in her pillow. How could she have dreamt something so vile? With him? And where had they even been? A bathroom? Beyond disgusting! Her stomach lurched in agreement, gurgling its discontent. She pushed her hair out of her face, drawing her knees up as she continued to stare into the gloom, determinedly ignoring the pool of heat swirling in her abdomen. Rows of second and third-hand textbooks gleamed back in the dull glow of the street lamp a few floors below her window. 

It was a small room, big enough only for her double bed. Her desk was crammed at the end, table flush with her mattress so she could sit cross-legged and type on her extremely outdated laptop, or read any of her resources from the bookshelf stacked on top. The right side of the room had an ancient closet and a pile of scrap metal and electrical components. The closet was mostly empty, and she used it mainly for the full length mirror in the door. The scrap was supposed to be a school project, which had never eventuated. It was all so familiar and normal. Everything in its right place. Her childhood doll watched over her from the third shelf at the end of her bed, little orange jumpsuit glowing slightly in the murky light.

Rey breathed in deeply, centring herself. It was a tried and true method, practised through years of unwanted drama. She imagined an island, mountainous and ringed with beautiful stone stairs, leading up and up. She had to climb them, one step at a time, bottom to top, surrounded by nothing but the sea and the air and the sky. And Ben Solo's dark locks sweat-stuck to his forehead. Seagulls cawing as they rode the air currents, large wings tilting with impossible grace. Green shrubs rustling and whispering to her. Ben Solo's hands digging into her arse, hot, carnal pleasure coursing through her. As she climbed higher the stairs wended their way through ancient structures she'd seen an image of once, in a history book, somewhere in Ireland. She explores them occasionally, but tonight her steps are hurried. She needs to reach the top. She needs to get to the summit, as she moans at Ben Solo's touch, his hands like fire against-

'FUCK!' Rey let the word settle in her room, the fallout blowing around her. Luckily Finn would probably still be at work ... probably ... she grabbed her phone to check the time. It wasn't midnight, had barely scraped past 11pm. And she had a message from an unknown number. Frowning, and a little apprehensive, Rey flicked it open.

_Hi, it's Hux._  
I got your number from your file, I apologise.  
Your belongings are locked in my desk for safety.  
We'll talk tomorrow. 

Her belongings.

Her jacket.

And scarf.

And wallet.

And keys.

Everything she'd just abandoned and forgotten about until just now. Finn had been home when she'd stormed in, so she hadn't needed her keys, and she'd been so worked up she evidently hadn't noticed the winter chill, either. Her tantrum was no better than Ben-fucking-Solo's. 

Rey saved Hux's number as a contact and slid to the end of her bed, flicking on the desk lamp she'd salvaged from a junk yard and repaired herself. Finn had a matching one on his desk, too, and he'd loved the gift. The memory of his joy brought a small smile to her face. The little act making her feel infinitely better. There wouldn't be much sleep tonight, now, she could feel the adrenaline coursing through her. If she wasn't going to sleep, she might as well carve her way through her assignments.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to [LucidLucy](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucidlucy/pseuds/Lucidlucy) who is an absolutely delightful person and an amazing Beta (and supporter and pusher and general all around nice Gal). Go check out her works! I fangirl all over them. Really hard. You should too.
> 
> Also, I have a [Tumblr](http://ejblakit.tumblr.com) now so come and say hi or whatever. I'm more of a lurker, but I'm happy to chat!


	8. Chapter 8

'I'm sorry.' She said it as soon as she caught a glimpse of Hux walking through the door. He stopped mid-step and raised an eyebrow at her. Rey was curled up on his seat, at his desk, waiting for him. She felt beyond tired, and she knew she looked it. There were purple bags under her eyes, and she hadn't really bothered with her hair. At all. It was in some vague bun at the back of her head that was probably more up than down, and more unwashed than it should have been. And yesterdays clothes had seemed like a comfortable choice for the work day. Complete with food stain from lunch and coffee stains from some point after 4am that morning. 

'Rey,' he breathed her name, and even in her exhaustion it sent a thrill rippling down her spine. 

Why couldn't she have dreamt about her boss last night? Of Mister 'I should be locked up because I'm so drop-dead out-of-this-universe good looking'? Not Ben. Ugh, creepy 'I either stare at you without blinking for half an hour or pretend you don't exist' Ben. With the dark locks and the big hands and warm eyes and- 

'What exactly are you sorry for?' He perched himself on the edge of Bens chair, as if he didn't want to actually commit to being in Bens spot. Hux smelt of cologne and soap and ... Rey tilted her head slightly as she caught a whiff of cigarette smoke, something she'd never caught on him before. His green eyes studied her as he waited for a response.

'Yesterday,' she offered lamely, with an apologetic smile and shrug. 'For just ... leaving like that. It was really unprofessional. I'm really sorry.' 

'I put it down as a half sick day.' His answer floored her.

'No, no! You don't have to do that! I left, just pay me for my hours! Honestly. I shouldn't have stormed out, it was immature and-'

'Rey, I get it, it's fine, it's done. I sorted it out yesterday. Ben can just be a little ... sensitive about certain things.'

'Like blinking,' she growled under her breath. Hux must have heard he because he chuckled softly. 'Well, I mean, if you're not mad, or going to fire me then ... could I get my stuff? I don't have a key to your draw.' She finally said in the comfortable silence between them. Rey suddenly jumped to her feet as she realised she was still occupying his chair, her bosses chair. Hux was standing at the same time, bring their bodies close together. He was hot, warmth emanating from him. The desire to wrap her arms around his torso was suddenly overwhelming. Instead she slid around him and pressed herself against Bens desk as Hux pulled a key out of his pocket and moved to his filing cabinet.

'Ben,' he drawled over his shoulder without looking, the drawer opening with a click. 

'Morning.' Ben mumbled. Rey turned to see him fill the doorframe, feet shuffling awkwardly on the threshold. Her eyes narrowed on him, apprehension crawling through her, but he kept his head down, staring at his shoelaces. 

'Here you are.' Hux held out her belongings and Rey grabbed them to her chest with a huge smile.

'You're a life saver Hux, thank you!' She pulled away from the desk and moved to her little den of chaos. 

'Uh, Rey.' She stopped, one foot in sanctuary, the other in hell. Taking a deep, steadying breath, Rey turned to face Ben, trying to keep her mind devoid of anything other than him wearing clothes that probably belonged to his grandfather. He was definitely not wearing black pants, and he was definitely not topless, or sweaty or ... _no_. 'I'm ... about ...' he managed to shake her train of thought, instead replacing it with the simmering rage of yesterday afternoon. She could work with that mental image a lot more comfortably.

'What about yesterday?' She asked coldly, half-aware of Hux sitting and watching them closely. 

'Letmebuyyouadrinktonight.' He rushed, and it took a moment for her to deconstruct his garble. 

'It's Thursday, Ben. And no. I'm tired.' She sounded crueller than she'd intended, and his face seemed to crumple in on itself.

'How about tomorrow night?' Hux interjected smoothly. 

'Well ... I finished most of my assignments last night ... I couldn't sleep,' she tacked on as Hux's attention shifted to her. 'So I guess I could go out for a while tomorrow night.' Bens head snapped up, a picture of hopefulness, as if her agreement had somehow made his ridiculous, over-protective antics yesterday okay. 'Thanks again, Hux, for keeping my stuff safe.' She closed the door behind her, shutting out Bens stupid face.

\-----

Friday night rolled around far too quickly for Rey. She'd spent the day cross-legged on the floor, marker in her mouth, box labels around her as she slowly came to grips with the shit storm of her newfound domain. She'd entirely forgotten she was even supposed to go out until a familiar golden-red head popped through her door with a cheerful 'Bens shout!' 

They walked to a nearby pub, a place she'd been to occasionally. It wasn't her favourite, but the drinks were still reasonably priced. The atmosphere was a lot lighter than her favourite dive, she could actually see the stains on the tables. The music was softer, too, so people could hold actual conversations without snapping their vocal chords. 

The three of them slid into a table, Rey already picking up the menu to look for a cheap food option. 

'What would you like to drink?' Ben asked. It was the first thing he'd said to her since Thursday morning.

'A beer. Any. Whatever's cheapest.' And then Ben was gone, leaving Rey and Hux seated very closely. Close enough for their knees to be pressed together under the small table in the bustling bar. 'He didn't ask you-'

'He knows what I want,' Hux assured her with a smile. 'The parmigiana is good. I recommend it.' Rey glanced down the list and frowned at the price. He was uncannily good at noticing things, it seemed. 'Ben's itching to get into your good books. I'll get him to buy us food too.'

'I was going to just get some chips ... No, don't!' But Hux had already shouted his name. Ben turned and Hux gestured something. A quick nod and the dark head turned back to the bar man. 'Hux, that's not fair!'

'Not fair is him scaring you out of the office for half a day. He can pay for your dinner.' Their heads were close together as he spoke, and she could smell another faint whiff of cigarette smoke again, almost concealed by mint. She couldn't help but watch his lips as he spoke, and idly wondered if there was some special place in hell for fantasizing about your co-worker slash boss.

A metal number was slammed onto the table as Ben unceremoniously announced his return, collapsing into his chair like a sack of rocks, only to bounce back up and rush to the bar to collect their drinks. 

Rey sipped her beer quietly, once he'd returned with it, as the two men began chatting about someone at the school she'd never met. It was almost ... comfortable, listening to them. They were obviously fairly good friends, despite the fact that Hux always seemed to be parenting Ben. 

The food was delivered and Ben fetched them another round of drinks. The serving was enormous and Reys mouth watered at the sight of melted cheese and the side of salad. Perhaps there was some sort of kind god after all. She hadn't eaten this well in quite some time. Rey was already cutting into her chicken when Hux spoke.

'Rey, if it's not too rude a question, and don't feel obliged to answer it, but ... what was the deal with your old scholarship fund? It doesn't seem very fair or ... legal ... about what happened to you.' Rey thought as she chewed slowly. Hux was looking at her, eyes kind, mouth turned down in a small frown, glass of wine in his hand. Ben had his mouth full and was studiously not making eye contact, hair falling over his face and almost into his food as he bent over it, cutting away huge slabs of his meal to shovel into his gob. She figured she at least owed them that. Hux had presented her with a chance to stay studying, and a job. They had given her a job and saved her from returning to _that_. 

'I used to live with him.' She said softly. Bens head snapped up, eyes trained solely on her. She ignored him, trying to not feel uncomfortable about the conversation. Finn was a firm believer of talking through your problems, so ... talk she would. 'I ... Well, I had a pretty crappy childhood and I was under the care of this guy, Unkar Plutt. He ...' She waved her salad laden fork around, eyes trained on anything but her co-workers as she spoke. 'I had to work to eat, and to study. If I didn't earn enough I had to pick one or the other. If I didn't work at all I got neither.' She shrugged, filled her mouth with a burst of cherry tomato and spinach leaves. The silence of her chewing was awkward, but she persevered. 'He's a business owner of a scrap yard, used car lot and an Orphanage. I grew up in a small town, though, so it was usually just me.' She didn't mention being the only girl, unable to defend herself from any of them. They didn't need to know that. She didn't want to think about it. 'He's pretty shoddy, you know? So ... I mean, I guess I'm not that surprised about it. About pulling funding, or about him doing it a year earlier without notification. He's probably been ripping up the debt letters.' She took a few large gulps of beer and stared down at her plate, feeling her face heat up at their persistent silence.

'Why did he give you the scholarship at all, then?' Hux finally broke the quiet. Rey remained fixated on her empty salad bowl as she answered.

'The ... police got involved. But it wasn't because of me!' She added hastily, feeling those old preservations kicking back in, the shake in her hands, the flinch at being spoken to, the need to please her superior so she wouldn't be hurt. The echoes flickered through her head, momentarily blinding her with their ability to still affect her. 'To prove that he was reputable, he said he'd pay for my tuition to become a valuable member of society, or something.' So that it was obvious the bruises were just her being clumsy, and they wouldn't look any further, not for the other bruises, the ones under her clothes, where she definitely shouldn't have any. So they wouldn't ask other questions, about how she felt staying in his home where the doors didn't lock and the hinges were well oiled.

'Why would he cancel it if the Police were involved?'

'Because,' and her voice was embarrassingly small now. She set her cutlery down, making herself as small as possible under their scrutiny and judgement. 'Because he thinks I'll go back to him.' She dared the tiniest look up, steeling herself. Hux's face was blank, but Bens was a riot of rage and horror. 'It's no big deal though,' she tried to cover hurriedly, feeling the familiar panic settle heavily over her chest to constrict her breathing. Now her colleagues would never look at her the same. She was damaged, broken, and now she'd just be eternally pitied. 'I have Finn, and Poe.' They couldn't afford to keep her safe, she decidedly didn't mention, they wouldn't have much time to visit her if it came to that ... but it wouldn't come to that. She would live in a shelter rather than go back to Plutt and his eternally sweaty palms and beady, ever-watching eyes. No, she would never live with the fear of his footsteps outside her bedroom door, or ever feel the fear of his shadow sliding over her. Never again. 

'I'm glad I gave you a job.' She looked at Hux. He was smiling at her, a kind smile, with a dash of pity, but not too much, and that was strangely gratifying. Ben was still staring, still horrified as his brain obviously ticked over the inferences. She reached out and placed her hand over Bens, comfortingly, before she even registered the motion. Her touch jostled him out of his reverie, and he pulled away quickly, seemingly embarrassed that she was the one comforting him. 'I also got some good news in an email this afternoon,' Hux added after watching their interaction. 'A certain someone was accepted into her scholarship.' Unable to contain herself, Rey threw her arms around him, pulling him close. She felt him slam his wine glass down in panic as she almost unbalanced the both of them, but she didn't care. It was impossibly good news, amazingly so. The stress of her uncertain future melting away as she held Hux tightly, almost vibrating with barely-suppressed joy.

'That's great!' She felt the warmth and exuberance exude from her, pushing away the previous conversation forcibly. Finn gave terrible advice, she was never talking through anything ever again. 'Oh Hux, that really is the best news! But I never asked, who is it? Who did I even apply with? Were there ... do I need to do anything once I've finished?' She pulled back, suddenly aware of how close their faces were, her chest pressed flush against his, of Ben still staring at them open mouthed.

Hux cleared his throat and she pulled away completely, allowing him to have a mouthful of wine. 

'Close your mouth, Ben,' Hux admonished, before answering Reys question. Ben shoved a forkful of chicken in and began chewing obediently. 'We found a promising scholarship that I initially showed you, but ... I had some strings pulled for you at my father's company.' 

'What do you mean?' The good feeling was quickly ebbing through her feet and into the floor, leaving her increasingly cold and restricted. How could she possibly be anymore indebted to Hux than she already was? A job, and now he'd gotten his dad to give her money?

'The company will backdate it to the start of the semester and let it carry you through to the end.'

'What do I have to do in return?' She demanded, more forcefully than intended. Hux quirked an eyebrow at her, swirling his wine in his glass like some damned overlord, holding her future over her head, dangling it just out of reach. For the very first time, Rey felt resentment against him. Her fingers curled into fists against her thighs, under the table.

'Nothing you don't want to. Rey, I don't even know what you're aiming to do once you graduate. F.O. is a big company, they could easily spare the course fees, including text books, by the way, and mark it down to a charitable donation. It makes them look good too.' She scrunched her face up, not wanting to be called a charity case. Her whole life had been a charity case. He set his empty glass down and picked up his cutlery. His meal had sat untouched, she realised with a start, while Bens plate was empty, and hers was half finished. 'What do you want to do?'

'I don't know,' she admitted, talking to give him a chance to actually eat his dinner. 'I entered with a mind for engineering, but ... I like the idea of being a Mechanic, but I discovered I really enjoy English Literature.' She shrugged helplessly.

'Those are two pretty different areas,' he said, holding a hand over his mouth as he spoke. Rey nodded her agreement. She was thoroughly aware of how royally unprepared she was for the real world.

'What does F.O. do?' She asked instead, having a swig of beer. It definitely wasn't the cheapest, she realised now that she was paying attention to it. Ben had bought her something decent which was actually ... quite nice of him to do, considering she'd specifically requested the cheapest. 

'Property and business acquisition. It's broad, various departments around the country. My Father is CEO of the company.'

'Hux will be on the board one day. He's just waiting for one of the fat cats to retire.' Ben offered helpfully, finally stepping into the conversation. 

'What kind of property acquisition?'

'Rebuilding infrastructure, housing, mostly, making them actually useful to people instead of derelicts. Houses into apartments, that sort of thing.' She rested her elbows on the table, threading her fingers together and resting her chin on the backs of her hands.

'That sounds really respectable.'

'It does, doesn't it?' Hux replied contentedly.

'Why aren't you working there now?' It occurred to her to ask, watching as he cut his chicken parmigiana into small, bite sized pieces. 

'I actually enjoy my current position, but I did work there for a time. I left to broaden my experiences outside of the company.'

'His Dad made him.' Ben filled in helpfully from her right. The comment made her laugh, more so when Hux's face flushed pink in indignation. 

'So you've known each other for a while then? You're not just co-workers?'

'We went to college together.' Ben agreed, pulling a pouty face at Hux. 'Dormed together, and then got a job together.' They really were like a perfect couple. Rey glanced between the two of them, Ben pulling silly faces and Hux pulling himself back under some semblance of control. 'Drinks?' Ben offered, eyeing her empty bottle as she set it down.

'No, I should go home soon, Finn'll be wondering where I am.'

'Boyfriend?' Ben asked, the speed of his question taking her aback for a moment.

'Best friend,' she corrected, frowning. Hux was frowning too. 'Anyway, I really do need to go. Thank you for dinner, Ben. It was ... nice.' She offered him a smile, figuring it was the least she could do. He hadn't been all that awkward this evening, or knocked her painfully to the floor. The smile she gave to Hux was a lot more genuine, as she shrugged on her jacket and slid out of her chair. 'I'll see you both on Monday. Have a great weekend!'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to [LucidLucy](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucidlucy/pseuds/Lucidlucy) who is an absolutely delightful person and an amazing Beta (and supporter and pusher and general all around nice Gal). Go check out her works! I fangirl all over them. Really hard. You should too.
> 
> Also, I have a [Tumblr](http://ejblakit.tumblr.com) now so come and say hi or whatever. I'm more of a lurker, but I'm happy to chat!
> 
> You are all AMAZING READERS!  
> I love your comments and input, thank you! <3


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A shorty but a sweetie!
> 
> Love you guys!  
> Keep being awesome!  
> Thing's are going to start happpeenniiinnnggg!

He leant in close, green eyes mesmerising as they talked and laughed. There was no one else but the two of them, locked in their private little world of small touches and whispered compliments. He was stunning when he smiled properly, not those little half-smirks he gifted, but an honest to goodness eye-crinkling smile. Rey knew she was besotted. How could she not be? She placed her hand on his forearm, feeling the soft hair under her fingertips, the ripple of muscle and tendon as he moved his hand. How had she deserved something as purely good as this man?

Hux leant in closer to whisper something to her, and so she too moved forward, listening intently, enraptured by the sparkle in his eye, the way the light bounced off his bronze hair. No one should look this good, ever. He should be illegal, definitely illegal, she decided as his whispered words became his lips against hers, soft, gentle, warm and oh so right. 

Her eyes fluttered shut and she sighed in contentment, allowing him to pull her closer, his hands rubbing gently at her upper arms. 

Her mouth parted under his, their tongues dancing spikes of pleasure through her body, arrow heading down to the pit of her stomach. Heat bloomed and fanned down her legs, curling her toes, dancing in her finger tips as she curled her hands into the front of his shirt, anchoring them together, never wanting the kiss to end, never wanting this moment to end.

His hands became more insistent against her, his kiss deeper, sloppier, and he began to moan, deep, choking sounds. Rey opened her eyes, concerned, and screamed. 

She pushed back, hard, falling onto her arse as she scrambled away. Away from him. From those small eyes and grease stained jowls, the poor comb-over doing nothing to cover the sweat-stained bald patch. Nausea rolled heavily through her gut, closing her throat as tears filled her eyes, head shaking in denial as he lumbered forward.

'Oh Rey,' he purred, shadow icy as it fell over her legs, slowly consuming her body as he moved closer. 'You're such a sweet girl.' The words were nails in her ears, scratching sharply down a chalkboard, grating against everything within her.

Nonono.

His hands were hot against her skin, pawing at her through her clothes, eyes lascivious. And he was grunting, over exerted in his actions, the way he sounded when he opened her door in the middle of the night, the way he sounded as he passed by the bathroom door when she was in the shower. She could feel the scream building and building within her, trapped inside, all the fear and agony as his huge weight pushed her down.

Where was Hux. Where was he?

'Rey!' She was awake and in Finns arms, thrashing wildly. 'Rey! It's just a dream! You're okay!' She clutched at him desperately, sobbing helplessly against his bare chest, curling herself completely into his lap as she let it all out. 

\-----

'Yo, Kylo.' Reg nodded in the direction of the bar door. Ben glanced over from where he was crouching on the stage and frowned. 

'What?' He asked, not sure what Reg was on about. People were milling around, coming and going as customers were want to do. But one of them snagged his attention. Reg rolled his eyes and groaned.

'For a front man, you're pretty thick sometimes.'

'Doubt that's what Spew-girl said.' Toby guffawed at his own joke, earning an empty plastic drink bottle to the head from Ben. 'Itty-bitty Kylo!' He still taunted, rubbing the connection point. Ben laughed as well, he couldn't not. But his eyes tracked the old man Reg had pointed out as he hobbled his way through the mass of people waiting for them to start their set, a younger couple relinquishing their table for him.

'That guy is big leagues, guys.' Reg insisted, drum sticks twirling in his fingers. He was never still, less so when he had the sticks.

'What, like from a studio?' Toby was suddenly serious, leaning forward and peering into the lights, trying to find the man in the crowd.

'We should probably just play it cool,' Ben suggested uneasily. 'Just act normally.'

'Take your shirt off, chicks go crazy for that.' Adam insisted, leaning over his guitar, having been tuning it. His amp gave a low wail of feedback and he quickly flicked the switch off, tossing the tuner and lead on top of it as he did so, absent-mindedly tightening his guitar strap once he returned his attention back to the groups conversation.

'I'm not taking my shirt off.' Ben gritted out, folding his arms over his chest defiantly.

'It's time to start, guys,' Pod called out, distracting all of them. Pod alread had his bass in hand, the black matte finish gleaming dully in the lighting of the venue. He drove his foot into Toby's back, forcing the rhythm guitarist to stand up. Grinning now, Ben stood up, show face on, Kylo of the Knights of Ren turned to the crowd and began to work his charm.

By the third song, and with their fans in the palm of his hand, Ben was certain the old guy was a scout. He had his phone out and was watching them intently. Forcing the matter from his mind, Ben kept singing, eyes raking over the crowd, searching the faces without allowing himself to call it searching, because Rey would not be one of those upturned heads, staring starry eyed at him, singing along. She had no idea who he wasn't. She didn't remember him. But he could still hope. 

\-----

Hux drummed his fingers against his kitchen counter, staring intently at the glass of red he'd poured himself.

The phone call he'd had with his father had been nothing less than interesting. It seemed his job prospects were starting to move along a little quicker now, which should have made him happy. It was guilt, he could feel it niggling in his gut like a parasite. Not for Ben, no, he could easily find a position for the man. He was quite useful when he put his mind to it, perhaps in accounts, he could chase outstanding loans, bash some heads in with that temper. No, it was Rey. He felt goddamned beholden to the chit, and it didn't sit right with him. She'd still have her job, would still have the payment plan, her life would be okay. But no. Even before she'd hinted at a life of horrible abuse and neglect, he'd felt like he owed her. He let himself sigh and rest his forehead in his hands, fingers digging into his hair. 

Brendon Hux Senior had been formal and brief, as usual. One of the board was nearing retirement, with plans to step back within the year, something to do with health problems. Brendon Hux Senior hadn't really cared one way of the other what the reason was, he was merely informing his son to get ready. And Hux _was_ ready. More than ready to sink his teeth properly into the business and leave his mark. To actually make his Father proud for once.

And he knew he could do it. Quite well, too.

Yet here he sat, worrying about a girl he'd known for all of two weeks. 

Perhaps he could hire her on as a P.A.

No. 

Hux stood quickly and paced around his living room, heels tapping against the tiles. He'd comfortably established the falsehood that he was gay, partially to humiliate Ben, and partially to remove himself from the equation. So why was she always so ready to turn that sun-bright smile on him all the time? Always eager to hug him at the slightest thing? He scowled, holding his hands behind his back as he stopped and glared out the balcony doors, not seeing the setting sun or the cars below him. She was a frustrating anomaly in his plans. 

She wanted to be a mechanic, not a P.A. or an administrative assistant. 

And in a year she would be a former-colleague and possibly a friend, but that was it. It was hard enough being the emotional buffer for Ben. It had been tough enough negotiating the fine line between their temperamental personalities for the past few weeks, the notion of a future of it hurt his head. And intrigued him as well. 

Hux felt his scowl deepen, pivoted and marched back to the kitchen counter. He seized his glass and breathed deeply the aromas of the wine before taking a sip, letting the mellow tones soothe him.

In the last of the dying light he resolved to spend the rest of the night enjoying the prospect of his elevation in the business world. His promotion, and not his increasingly troublesome work colleagues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to [LucidLucy](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucidlucy/pseuds/Lucidlucy) who is an absolutely delightful person and an amazing Beta (and supporter and pusher and general all around nice Gal). Go check out her works! I fangirl all over them. Really hard. You should too.
> 
> Also, I have a [Tumblr](http://ejblakit.tumblr.com) now so come and say hi or whatever. I'm more of a lurker, but I'm happy to chat!
> 
> You are all AMAZING READERS!  
> I love your comments and input, thank you! <3


	10. Chapter 10

'He offered to sign us,' Ben said softly, leaning back in his chair, legs stretch out before him, hands folded behind his head. Hux's nose crinkled ever so slightly at the news.

'I didn't think you wanted to go pro?'

'The guys are pretty excited, though.' Ben huffed and stared up at the ceiling. Pro had been something he'd dreamt of as a child, the notion swirling endlessly through his brain as he'd slaved over a guitar, hands cramping endlessly as he practised picking and riffs. Swirling as his voice had cracked and changed through puberty, miraculously gifting him with an even better timbre. But Pro seemed something like too much hard work, too risky. Ben had come to enjoy an office life, the set hours, the predictability, the stable pay. It was all somehow comforting in its familiarity. He enjoyed his time on stage, thrived off the energy, the creativity, the vibrancy, but it was hard maintaining that persona without it affecting him. Ben didn't always like the person he became on stage, and going pro would undoubtedly alter him in some fundamental way, he wasn't blind. He could understand that much.

They could hear Rey rummaging around and singing to herself. The floor outside her door was strewn with boxes and folders, a warzone in her battle for order. She'd taken advantage of their quiet Wednesday to make a push towards some sort of administrative victory. 

'I don't know. It seems like a good deal, good return on sales, we already have a fanbase ...' Ben mused more to himself than to Hux, voice still quiet so Rey couldn't overhear them.

'And the company?' Ben shrugged, glancing across at Hux, who was watching him closely, eyebrows drawn low over his green eyes.

'I Googled them, they're supposed to be pretty good. I don't really pay attention to that stuff.' Reg had been in his ear the rest of the weekend, and the beginning of the week as well. Reg wanted to make it big, music was his life, had always been obsessed with it, more so than Ben. Despite his misgivings, Ben would sign if the majority voted, but it wasn't some huge life goal, not any more. Just being in the band and performing was what made him happy, to vent out his energy behind a mask. It was good to let loose sometimes.

'Who is it?'

'Snoke Industries, or something. Reg knew of him, some big shot.' Ben sighed heavily, rocking his chair gently from side to side. There was a loud bang as Rey flopped herself onto the floor, half in their room, half in hers, a sealed box in her outstretched arms landing inches from her grip. 'Are you okay?' Ben asked, moving only to turn and face her. She blew a strand of hair out of her red face, but otherwise remained lying down.

'Pretty good.' She replied with a grin. There were bags under her eyes and she seemed pale, but it wasn't really his place to mention it. Or stare. He was staring again, but she wasn't looking at him, she was looking at Hux. 'What are you guys whispering about? Date plans?' Ben felt his face flame with indignation. Did she _really_ think that? He shot Hux a dark look over his shoulder, only to realise too late that she probably interpreted it as something else. 

'Another Friday night out, I hear you suggest Rey? What a fantastic idea!' Hux smacked Ben on the shoulder. 'You in?' Ben's mind went blank in panic.

'No, I uh ... have a thing ... you know?' He couldn't say it, that he had a gig, a function, a job. No other excuse came to him, just a thing, some vague other that sounded whimsical and flimsy, a pathetic excuse not to spend time with her. She'd been nicer since Friday, friendlier, and he'd been enjoying it. Now he was probably smashing it to rubble around him. 

'Oh, yes, I forgot, sorry Ben.' Ben didn't bother looking at Hux, knowing from the smug tone that the redhead was anything but sorry. Rey didn't look too put out either, he noticed with some dismay. 'Well, the two of us out on the town. That sounds like a pleasant evening! How's the filing going?' Rey glanced over her shoulder, over the length of her body and into the room she was currently half occupying. 

'It's neither here nor there. Your last girl was ... not entirely organised. I found a box of her uni work. It was ... an eye opener for spelling standards.' Ben found himself snickering at that. It was good to know that Mina was generally awful in all aspects of her being.

'She was pretty awful.' He agreed. Rey met his eyes with a flash of speculative judgement, and their argument from last week bubbled to the surface of his mind. He pushed it down and away, refusing to dwell any more on it than he already had. She definitely didn't need to know he had two new folders of possible lyrics in his desk, which an argument would probably inevitably draw out of him. It felt safer discussing Mina, than it did his music, the fear of where that conversation could lead paralysing him with dread. It was far safer discussing that useless ex-co-worker who had made it her life mission to make Ben's a living hell. At least Rey mostly ignored him, he supposed, as much as it hurt him. Her indifference was infinitely better than Mina's obsession. It was only towards the very last few days of her employment that Ben had truly realised what that woman's goal had been.

'Perhaps we should wait until the three of us can go out then, hmm?' Hux was talking over the silent, tense exchange of his colleagues. 'Maybe next week?' Ben nodded his head in agreement. There was no gig next Friday ... yet. Unless Reg had anything to say about it.

\-----

Rey curled up on the couch, savouring her Friday evening. Finn was at work, picking up another shift, trying to develop a little nest egg for a rainy day. Rey personally thought he was saving for a secret get away with Poe, but it was really none of her business. Besides, it was sort of nice having the place to herself. She loved curling up with him on the couch, shouting random study questions at him that he had to answer, or trying to develop strange culinary delights together in the kitchen, out of cheap ingredients. She also loved sitting in silence, which Finn was not overly great at. He liked to sing, or hum, or tap his foot, or his hand, or drop things. And he loved checking in on her all the time. The protective older brother she'd always wanted but now sort of wished would step back and occasionally give her some breathing space. If only for a few moments so she could recollect her energy reserves and bubble enthusiasm again. Despite his helicopter care, she loved Finn more than anything in the world.

Rey smiled at nothing in particular, holding her study notes for English Lit, fingertips idly tracing the creases. She actually felt contented, at peace, and that didn't happen often. Everything seemed to finally be tracking her way.

She had a good job.

She worked with nice people.

She had a roof over her head.

She had a scholarship again which meant she could keep studying.

She had Finn, and soon Poe. 

Rey sank back into the old cushions, revelling in the pleasantness of everything. Of not having to worry if she could afford to eat or pay rent, of not having to glance over her shoulder every five seconds. There were nightmares. Of course there were, there would always be, but they were manageable. 

The wind outside had dropped and rain was starting to patter against the window, big drops dribbling down the glass. She sighed, letting her head flop back against the couch as she watched the storm set in, the room growing darker as the clouds thickened. 

She should get up and turn on a light, but she was comfortable, and warm, and safe. Safe was good. Safe was nice. Safe was new in her life, and something she wanted to cling to and never let go. Like Finn, and Poe. Sort of like Ben. Like Hux. 

That drew a groan out of her, eyes squeezing shut, nose wrinkling and she pulled a face.

Hux was funny and nice and caring and compassionate and good. He was handsome and charismatic and aloof and had a slight wicked streak to him, she'd seen it peak through, she knew it was there, especially when he was around Ben, but no. Hux was a now, he would not be a future. Ben would not be a future. Oh, they could stay friends, definitely, but their togetherness would inevitably end with Hux's future job, with the end of her studies. Rey was no stranger to life moving on, it was the natural, shitty progression, so she wouldn't build her life's hopes on others. Except for Finn, Finn was her exception to the rule, that naughty block of chocolate in her diet. 

She dragged her hands through her hair, scrubbed at her face and flopped lengthways along the couch, angling herself so she could still see the rain and the sky. 

And what even was her life? Did she still want to become a mechanic? Sure she enjoyed getting her hands dirty, loved the thrill of fixing but ... but it always drew her back to then. To where she came from, and that wasn't something she really wanted to be stuck dwelling on. Not of _him_. English wouldn't get her anywhere ... so ... office work? But wasn't that just her circling back to what she shouldn't be thinking about? She enjoyed filing and sorting, running small messages and doing inventories. It didn't require much though, or effort. And it was rewarding, seeing everything displayed correctly, fixed by her, to her standards. It wasn't the same mechanical thrill, but it was close. She couldn't envision her life as an academic, but perhaps she could still dabble, write things? Her eyes dropped to the study material in her lap, fingers playing with the squashed edges of the front cover. Rey enjoyed writing, of critiquing, of creating, her thoughts flowing into something tangible and real. 

Her phone chimed, distracting her train of thought. It was in her room, on her bed, so she ignored it. Only for it to go off again. And again.

Someone was evidently in a rush to message her. 

And then her phone began to ring.

Rey hopped up quickly, skirting the edge of the couch to dive onto her bed, seizing the phone and answering it before the caller could hang up.

'Rey speaking!' She chirped breathlessly, panting from the sudden dash.

'Hope I didn't catch you at a bad time,' a horribly familiar voice growled, prickling fear down her spine. 'I was just hoping you'd have some time to chat, seeing as I was in the area.'

Rey had no words.

Her throat was dry, heart pounding, gut churning.

Unkar Plutt was here, and he knew where she lived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to [LucidLucy](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucidlucy/pseuds/Lucidlucy) who is an absolutely delightful person and an amazing Beta (and supporter and pusher and general all around nice Gal). Go check out her works! I fangirl all over them. Really hard. You should too.
> 
> Also, I have a [Tumblr](http://ejblakit.tumblr.com) now so come and say hi or whatever. I'm more of a lurker, but I'm happy to chat!
> 
> You are all AMAZING READERS!  
> I love your comments and input, thank you! <3


	11. Chapter 11

The walls felt like they were closing in on her, phone pressed against her ear, filling her head with the gasping breaths of a man she had never, ever wanted to speak to again.

'Perhaps, considering your circumstances, I could buy you a meal while we ... talk.'

Out. He wanted to meet her somewhere with people, not here in her empty apartment. Rey sat up instantly, seizing the opportunity. She knew, deep in her heart and soul and toes, that if she rejected him, he would come here. She couldn't allow that, not in this place that was so free of him, free of his horrible shadow.

'I know a place,' she suggested almost cheerfully, trying to shake away the apprehension, because if there were people, there could accidentally be people she knew. 'I'll text you the address and the time!' And then she was hanging up before he could speak again, fingers shaking as she tried to pull up her contact list, pitifully small, but still hard to navigate when her hands didn't seem to want to cooperate.

She paced around the apartment, running circles around the kitchen counter. This was wrong, so wrong. Why couldn't she be happy for just one night? Why did the world have to keep doing this to her?

'Hello Rey,' his voice was so calm, neutral. She hiccupped as she spoke, voice breaking as tears threatened to spill. She hadn't realised she was even going to cry.

'Hux, please tell me you're still free tonight.' There was a pause, a heart-wrenchingly lengthy one.

'What's wrong, Rey? Are you ... crying?'

'No!' She rubbed furiously at her eyes with the heel of her hand, feeling the tell-tale moistness that made her a liar. 'Hux, I need a huge favour. Please.'

\-----

Unkar Plutt was sitting at a booth, gut distended in front of him, resting against the lip of the table. He'd gotten bigger since she'd last seen him, an extra jowl, less hair, and there were glasses now, perched crookedly on the bridge of his nose.

The wave of vertigo was instantaneous and she clutched desperately at a chair, hating herself for reacting like this to him, that he could still affect her in such a way. There was nothing but loathing and hatred for this man who had denied her so much and acted like what he had given her were gifts from God. Only, he was the God, and she should treat him as such.

Rey glanced around the bar. It wasn't her favourite, she couldn't sully it with his presence. This one was a few doors down, with good, cheap food, not that she had any appetite. The furniture was all clean and neat, reds and creams against soft yellow walls and hanging lights. An establishment to bring your family for meals. She supposed, in some sick way, the man leering at her was family. It also attracted patrons from the nearby Uni, and students were milling around, meeting for dinner before they went out drinking.

'Rey, how good to see you.' He didn't stand to greet her, probably couldn't, but he took her hand, grip surprisingly strong as he squeezed her fingers, thumb rubbing over her skin. Rey made sure she kept the small, weak smile on her face, to keep the fear and panic out of her eyes. To keep her revulsion at his presence smothered. She was fairly certain she could keep the bile in her throat from rising any further. She tugged her palm from his grip and tucked loose strands of hair behind her ears, sliding across from him. She immediately picked up a freshly laminated menu and began fiddling with it, not in the least bit interested in food. 'I hope things have been well for you?'

'They have,' she offered as politely as she could, not wanting to appear rude. As much as she detested him, there was still ... fear ... that he could take everything away again, like he used to. She knew it was a stupid thought, a silly idea, but it was there and at this very moment felt very real. Plus Plutt could have a nasty temper, and the voice to match. That kind of attention, here? No. Rey didn't want strangers eyes judging her, seeing her here with him. This was all sorts of torture, but at least they weren't in her home. A neutral space where neither of them could hold the upper hand, that's where she was safest, that's where she was now.

'And how are your studies going?' He purred, wriggling slightly to sit up straighter, to find a more comfortable position for his stomach. His eyes gleamed with knowing, teeth peeking through his thin lips as he sneered triumphantly. He expected her to have her tail between her legs, ready to slink back to him in defeat. Nauseating, revolting. But it spiked a sliver of manic glee in her that she wasn't going to do it. 

'Rey.' Her head snapped instantly to the left and she felt her shoulders sag in relief as Hux approached, great coat swishing around the back of his calves as he weaved through occupied tables and chairs. He was unwrapping a large black scarf from around his neck, face brushed pink from the chill wind outside. She glanced at Plutt, whose gaze had narrowed in on the tall ginger, face curling in undisguised disgust and judgement.

'Hi, Hux!' She bounced up and threw herself at him, hugging him tightly. She had to, she didn't care that only a few hours ago she'd decided to keep him moderately distant. Right now he was the only person she had that could anchor her to her new life and any modicum of happiness. His arms snaked around her, thick and strong, squeezing her waist. He pressed his lips against the top of her head and she could feel some of the stress already slipping out of her. She breathed deep the scent of his cologne and that ever vague wisp of cigarette smoke. He smelt like the chill of winter and home.

'Who is this?' Plutt demanded, interrupting them, leaning forward in his position to peer more closely at the perceived intruder. Rey was reluctant to pull away from her new sanctuary, but she did, one arm still around her boss as she turned to face the quivering mass of Unkar Plutt.

'Unkar, this is my boyfriend, Hux. We were going to go to dinner and then go out after, sorry, I actually forgot.' She tried to sound apologetic, but didn't think she did too great a job. She was far too grateful, too relieved that Hux had actually agreed to this madness and was willing to play along.

'Hi, nice to meet you.' Rey caught a glimpse of Hux's small, friendly smile as they both slid into the booth, Rey in the corner, Hux a solid comfort at her side. She wanted to lean against him, cuddle his arm and not let go. Plutt sat across from them, visibly seething, fingers digging into the scuffed surface of the table, sweat gleaming from his forehead.

'I'm surprised you have time to date. I'd imagined you'd be too busy studying and working.' Plutt wheezed, still tilted forward for inspection, studying Hux like he was one of Plutt's used cars. With the presence of someone else, Rey was able to turn up her charm. The sort of charm she'd never been able to muster alone in the years under this man's thumb.

'That's how we met, actually!' Rey began enthusiastically. 'You wouldn't believe it, Unkar, he helped me adjust my fee structure so I could afford to stay in class and he helped me find a new job, too!' Her smile was wide, and she knew it was the right sort of dazzling when she turned it up to Hux and saw his face flush a red deeper than the wind chill. His arm shifted and a large hand splayed over her thigh, infusing warmth into her skin through her leggings. She felt her smile slip slightly, brows creasing fractionally as Hux responded with his own small smile. 

Plutt was watching them very closely through the greasy lens of his glasses, nostrils flaring.

'So you're ... financially ... secure, then.' His voice was dripping oil, splattering over them in barely contained disbelief.

'Oh yes, she is.' Hux answered smoothly for her, cool green eyes swivelling back to the man in front of them. She felt him stiffen slightly, back straightening under the scrutiny. 

'Are you guys ready to order?' A peppy young waitress asked. Rey glanced down at the menu before her, having completely forgotten where they were in her anxiousness.

'Not just yet,' Hux thanked her, and she flounced away to the next table, pad in hand, pen ready to scrawl. 

Plutt had been watching the waitress, eyes on her arse, but his gaze crawled back when Hux spoke again.

'I mean, it was tough for a moment, because of whatever error mucked up the Scholarship cancellation notice, but we got through it, and she can even stay in class. Isn't that wonderful?' Rey was partially distracted from the utter disbelief smeared over Plutt’s face by Hux’s hand slowly rubbing against her knee. He didn't even seem to be really aware he was doing it, she realised, glancing at him. Hux was solely focused on the trembling pile of flesh seated across from them. 

'Did you hear about her scholarship troubles? It was really unfortunate.' Hux was using a tone of voice she'd never heard before. His words were cold and clipped, clinical in his deliverance. The closest to this had only ever been when he spoke to Ben, but even then his words had dripped with sarcasm and mostly friendly mockery. Plutt’s eyes darted between the two of them and she knew, she _knew_ he was looking for the trap, trying to suss just how much Hux knew about her scholarship details. Rey kept her face pleasantly blank, growing increasingly more grateful to Hux by the minute.

'I don't think I told him,' Rey supplied helpfully, when Plutt didn't respond, enjoying the discomfort rolling off of the source of her nightmares. Plutt was sweating in his grease-stained shirt, large fingers fiddling with the straining buttons that ran down the front of the pastel-green fabric. Perhaps she would sleep well after this encounter. A girl could dream, hopefully pleasantly.

'Oh, it was awful. Her old scholarship fund gave her notice of cancellation, but there must have been a system error. Her funds were cancelled a year previous.'

'The debt must be awful,' Plutt growled, shifting again. His forehead was now dripping sweat as he studied both of them, a hint of desperation as his folded his hands over his stomach to hide the shake in his fingers, only to unlace them and push his glasses back up the ridge of his nose. 'If you need any financial assistance-' he began, but Hux cut him off, leaning forwards slightly with a cold smile curling across his lips.

'She has _my_ financial assistance. Thank you for your offer though. We wouldn't want to put you in any imposition.'

'Oh, it really wouldn't be,' the big man blustered, face growing red in indignation. Spit caught in the corners of his mouth, chins becoming more pronounced as he tucked his head back, unintentionally trying to pull away from Hux.

He was realising he was losing the battle, that his schemes had been taken out of his hands. Rey marvelled at how efficiently Hux dealt with him, at how icy his demeanour had become, and she understood instantly how he'd fit into the corporate world. Brendon Hux would do quite well for himself, it seemed. He was born to crush his problems.

'I can't have you handling the weight of my charge’s debt! That's too much. It's my responsibility, isn't it girl?' Plutt was reaching out to her, and it was with a lot of self-restraint that she didn't flinch back immediately. Her left hand slid under the table, fingers curling around Hux's wrist, gripping tightly, the only sign of discomfort she was willing to display. His hand tightened on her thigh in response. A reassuring squeeze.

'Hux has been brilliant,' she said, trying to keep her easy appearance going, that she was flourishing here, without a care in the world. That Plutt's attempt to touch her didn't have her rattled or nauseated. 'I'm actually paying for all of it, he helped me work it all out. I'm so lucky.' She hugged Hux's arm to her now, glad for the excuse, looking up at him, selling the image, hoping desperately- and it worked. Plutt was lumbering to his feet, using the table and the top of the booth to haul himself up, grunting with the effort to find his balance as his girth shifted around him.

'Well,' he snarled, fingers slipping on the buttons of a winter jacket at least two sizes too small. 'I'll leave the two of you be, then. I'm glad everything is working so _pleasantly_ for you now, girl. Make sure you work hard.' Chairs scraped and clattered as he plowed his way out of the restaurant, uncaring of the people who had to move out of his way.

'I could really use a drink,' Rey admitted, apprehension returning at Plutt’s parting words.

Hux rose, brushing out his big grey coat, pulling the collar up to his cheeks. He then offered her his hand, helping her up off the seat.

'Then let's go get one.' He said.

It wasn't until they reached her favourite bar that Rey realised they'd been holding hands the entire way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to [LucidLucy](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucidlucy/pseuds/Lucidlucy) who is an absolutely delightful person and an amazing Beta (and supporter and pusher and general all around nice Gal). Go check out her works! I fangirl all over them. Really hard. You should too.
> 
> Also, I have a [Tumblr](http://ejblakit.tumblr.com) now so come and say hi or whatever. I'm more of a lurker, but I'm happy to chat!
> 
> You are all AMAZING READERS!  
> I love your comments and input, thank you! <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wasn't going to release this chapter until next week, but so many of you have taken offense to the lack of a certain tag which was GOING to be added with this chapter.  
> Settle my petals.  
> Also, if you're super anti-Reyux for whatever strange reason, skip to the end for *spoiler* if you're undecided whether to keep reading or not.

They settled themselves into a corner table, silent as they nursed their drinks. Their coats hung over the back of their chairs, pillowing their spines against the uncomfortable metal frames. Rey closed her eyes and let the throb of music transport her away from her thoughts, simply being with the bass and the drums, the cacophony of background laughter and chatter, the chinks of glasses hitting tables and each other, the smell of smoke and sweat and perfume, of alcohol and peanuts and burnt toast. So normal and familiar and calming. So different from what had been.

Heat blossomed from his hand on her arm. Rey's eyelids fluttered open to the strobe lighting, the dull warm-yellow bucket lights and to Hux's green eyes staring into her own. Her heart skipped a beat.

'Are you okay?' His voice was heavy with concern, thumb rubbing a circular motion over the sleeve of her hoodie. Rey felt pure elation and relief, slumping forward to show it as she grinned at him.

'I can't thank you enough, Hux. I'm serious,' she took his hand in both of hers, squeezing tightly. 'I didn't know what else to do.'

'I understand, really, Rey. I do.' He squeezed back, his hand hot in hers, palms so smooth, devoid of calluses, unlike hers. A stark reminder of their very different lives. She pulled her hands away and wrapped them around her glass again. 'I'm glad I could help. I just wish I could do more for you.'

'That was enough,' she dropped her gaze down to her drink, suddenly self-conscious under his gaze. She could feel her cheeks heating up, chest feeling hot.

'How are your classes going?' He asked, as if he sensed her discomfort, changing the subject.

'Really well. Professor Skywalker keeps giving me extra readings he thinks I'll enjoy. I'm in the top five for my maths component,' she shrugged her shoulders lamely, as if it were no big deal. 'The others are easy, so, I'm making use of the scholarship, don't worry.' A weak smile that barely moved her cheeks momentarily graced her face. 'I have no idea what I want to do with any of it though.'

'I don't think you're supposed to.'

'Did you?' She looked up at him. His hair seemed more golden in the glow of the dull lighting, his eyes a warmer green, the angles of his face thrown into pleasant shadow, exaggerating the sharpness of his nose and the planes of his cheekbones.

'Since I was a kid,' he admitted, his smile crinkling the corners of his eyes, fanning tiny crow's feet. 'It was always my Father's intention to have me follow him into the business.' He shrugged his broad shoulders dismissively, grey business shirt shifting over concealed muscle. Rey's throat ran dry at the thought and she hastily took a mouthful of beer.

'And what is your father like?' She asked as soon as she swallowed. Hux’s eyebrow arched in response to the question.

'Do you really want to talk about my father?'

'No.' She admitted, watching that honest to goodness smile light up his eyes and sparkle energy through his entire being.

'What do you want to talk about?' He prodded, sipping at his wine. She watched as the tip of his tongue licked a droplet from his top lip. Electricity fizzed through her and she tried to stamp it down forcefully. This was her _boss_ , and friend, and saviour. She inhaled deeply, feeling her lungs expand to their fullest capacity, before she exhaled noisily, leaning backwards, head tilting to stare up at the flaking paint on the ceiling. 'How about Ben?'

'What about Ben?' Her tone was a little more wary than she'd intended. Things had been okay between the two of them, she was making it okay, but he just rubbed her the wrong way. There was something about him, and that dream? No, she didn't want to talk about Ben, especially not to Hux.

'He apologised to you, but ... I think you need to apologise to him.' Rey knew that she did, of course she knew. It was a two-way street between them, this awkward dislike. She groaned and snapped her head back to look at the redhead. His face was carefully blank.

'We're okay now,' she insisted, but Hux's head shook infinitesimally.

'No, you're not. He means well, Rey. He does, he just doesn't know how to go about it. You blew up at him for no reason.'

'He was being unreasonable!' She insisted, slamming her hand, palm down, on the table with a bang. Hux didn't flinch.

'Ben is the epitome of unreasonable, maybe, but you still owe him an apology. It isn't healthy in a work environment, or in a friendship.' Rey scowled, not wanting to discuss this. She knew Hux was right, knew that she'd been the one at fault over the stupid files. But Ben had been so ... demanding and unusual, it'd spooked her a bit, put her on the wrong foot. 'To be fair, he offered you the job, not me.’

Those green eyes stared into hers, insistent, warm, caring. Hux was right. Hux was always right, it seemed. Rey groaned again. Because Ben _had_ been the one to offer the job, not Hux; the awkward giant who stared at her constantly, made her feel nervous, like he knew something she didn't. As if she'd just walked out of the bathroom with her shirt tucked into her knickers, or toilet paper stuck to her shoe. She let her head slump to smack her forehead against the back of her hand.

'I'm the arse.' She rumbled, more to herself in realisation.

'You are.' Hux agreed amicably.

'I should probably go home.' She didn't want to, not really, but she could feel the exhaustion starting to drag at her bones, the stress of the evening wearing her down, the alcohol bubbling pleasantly in her gut, mellowing. Rey looked up through her hair at her companion, gauging his reaction.

'I'll drive you. It's cold out.' He didn't seem put out in the least and Rey wasn't about to object to the offer. She shrugged her jacket on and watched as he buttoned up the front of his huge grey coat that looked as if it cost more than her entire clothing collection.

'Do you have anything warmer?' He asked, eyeing the frayed seams and worn zipper. Rey ran her hands down the front of herself, frowning. She did need a new jacket, true, but he didn't have to point out just how threadbare this one was becoming! Before she could open her mouth to bite back he was wrapping the long folds of his scarf around her neck, surrounding her with his smell. She breathed deep, unable to help herself, savouring the moment. She huffed in mock indignation, not really complaining about this new turn of events. She adjusted the scarf so she could breathe a little easier, before following him out of the pub.

She slid onto the chilled leather passenger seat of his car, unable to stop the shiver. It was somehow colder now than it had been walking through the windy night air to reach the vehicle. The car sank slightly as Hux got in, door slamming behind him. He turned to look at her, bundled in the seat, his scarf wrapped around her head. Rey grinned at him.

'You don't know where I live!' She taunted, earning another smile from him.

'No, I don't. Care to direct me?' So she did. The car roared to life and she watched him change gears with practised ease, turning where she directed, stopping for red lights and cutting off a couple of taxis, ignoring the blaring horns with a partially raised brow. They were silent, other than her directions, comfortable in it. The sound of the engine and their breaths. It seemed he didn't like to listen to the radio when he drove.

'This is me.' She finally said and Hux pulled obediently into a parking space along the side of the road.

Orange light danced patterns across them, branches blowing in front of the street lights. A couple walked down the street, hand in hand, words blooming white before them as they huddled up together. Rey watched them with a hint of longing. She'd always wanted that sense of belongingness. She could do that with Finn, had on many occasions, heads tilted together as they strolled along after classes or after she'd met him at his work and walked home. But, it wasn't the same. Not like _that_.

She became slowly aware that Hux was watching her. That she was still sitting in his parked car, his scarf wrapped around her like a comforting embrace.

'Would you like to come in? I have hot chocolate.' She offered before she could think about it. Hux leant forward, brushing his knuckles against her cheek.

'I think I'd like that.' His smile had slipped into something ... warmer ... darker ... pleasantly darker, inviting. Her stomach twisted and she couldn't pull her eyes away, his knuckles were like flames against her cheek as she began to drown in his gaze.

\-----

Hux followed her through the building door and up a narrow set of cement stairs. The building didn't have a lift and she lived on one of the higher floors.

He wasn't complaining though, she was leading and he could stare at her arse.

He shouldn't be staring at her arse, though. He cursed himself silently, wondering why he'd agreed to this at all. Saving her from Plutt had been an absolute no brainer, the man was vile filth and no one should be subjected to his whims. The fact that Rey had been in _tears_ had only solidified his opinion of the man he'd met. No, helping Rey out from under that man’s thumb had been the right call. But accepting an offer into her home? Following her up the stairs and checking her out? Like he'd been admiring her at the bar? Enjoying the feeling of her breasts pressed against his arm, her body against his as she hugged him?

There was a special place in hell for people like him.

And the Devil would be called Ben Solo.

But for now he was here on Earth with his attractive young co-worker inviting him inside. He was only a man. Just a man. That was okay, wasn't it? And the way she'd been looking at him all night ...  
Rey was pausing up ahead, on the landing, looking over her shoulder. Looking over the edge of _his_ scarf. At him. And damn everything if he didn't like seeing her wrapped up in his clothing.

Without a second thought, his hand snaked out, cupping her cheek, and then he was bringing her body to his, mouth descending on hers. He heard a muffled squeak, but then her arms were around his neck and his fingers were in her hair and he knew this was the right choice.

There was no Brendon Hux of F.O. There was no University Office. There was no Ben Solo.  
There was just Hux and Rey in the fire escape.

She tasted of beer and sweetness and he couldn't suppress the groan he let slip into her mouth, arms tightening around her. But she was pulling away and he stared after her as she threw open the fire door, hand digging into her pocket to pull out her keys.

She fumbled, dropped them, picked them up, and trotted down the hall.

Like the lost sheep he knew he was, Hux followed, already missing her warmth and smell and taste.  
Fuck the hot chocolate.

He was kissing her before she'd even pushed the door open, and she wasn't objecting. Her tongue as insistent as his as she tilted her head back, lips parting, one hand bunched in his coat as the other scrabbled at the door handle.

He helped her slide her bag from her shoulder as she kicked off her shoes, stumbling together into her apartment. Hux pushed the door closed behind them.

'This way,' she murmured breathlessly, pulling him back to her room, eagerly pulling him close for another kiss as he closed that door too.

He let her. He let her guide him, let her take control of this. Of whatever this was because hell was becoming a hot place that he was learning to accept very quickly. This was wrong on so many levels, but Hux couldn't find it in himself to care. For once in his life he didn't care about the outcome, only the here and now and the woman panting against his lips.

They tumbled onto the mattress, a mess of limbs and locked lips, Rey giggling, Hux moaning against her throat as he pressed tingling kisses down her collarbone and over her clothed breast, unzipping her jacket for access, tangling both of them in his scarf.

'You're wearing too many clothes,' he grumbled, fingers raking up under the hem of her shirt, tugging it up over her head. She complied immediately, wriggling out of the offending items, releasing her from the multitude of layers as he took to unhooking her bra. Rey groaned as his lips and tongue claimed a nipple, body arching deliciously under him. Her hips ground against his and he felt the heat flood into his groin.

'Jesus,' she breathed.

'Just Hux is fine.' He grinned against her chest, feeling her slap his shoulder lightly in response.

But then she'd decided he was wearing too many layers as well, and he didn't object as she started unbuttoning his coat, her fingers occasionally digging into his chest in her eagerness. She was a thing of beauty. Flashing, lust-shot eyes, swollen lips, flushed cheeks. Her hair in disarray from his fingers. She was swearing under her breath at the amount of buttons, and he chuckled, couldn't help himself as she finally pushed away the edges of his coat, to reveal yet more buttons on his shirt.

Hux kissed her again, shrugging out of the offending great coat, tossing it onto the floor before her fingers started working on his shirt. He raked his hands down her back, savouring the planes and dips in her skin. She was quite muscular under her oversized clothes, tight and trim and warm and - he groaned as her hands found the bare skin of his chest, cutting through his thoughts as her fingers slipped over his sides, around to his back, nails digging lightly as she traced mindless patterns.

'Oh fuck!' She swore loudly as he rubbed the heel of his hand between her thighs.

She clung to him then, nails digging in harder as she moaned against his mouth. The sounds she made were driving him mad, so he rocked slow circles against her, teasing and denying her as she whimpered and kissed and held him.

This woman was all sorts of perfect.

She glared at him as he pulled away, ridding himself of the rest of his shirt. She'd missed a couple of the bottom buttons, but he undid them quickly, eager to just be skin on skin, to feel all of her right now. She was moving up to meet him, pressing her mouth back to his, her hands back against his chest, one slipping around his neck as the other dipped dangerously low. Hux didn't bother suppressing his groan. He didn't care. He was beyond caring. He was hot, hard need. Pants too tight, gut burning. And she was so soft, so silky smooth and warm and amazing.

He pushed her down against the mattress, hand heavy against her stomach as she squirmed, both arms now wrapped around his neck. He kissed her senseless, unable to stop himself even if he wanted too. They were too far gone, there was no coming back from this sin that he would not repent. Ben Solo could have burst through her door, all puppy dog eyes and broken heart and Hux would not have stopped, could not have. Because she was everything good to him right now, everything right. It didn't matter what they were to each other in the light of day. Only this moment mattered.

He tugged at the waistband of her leggings. She lifted her butt, helping him divest her of her pants and underwear so that she lay naked under him. He didn't give her a chance to be embarrassed, dragging hot kisses down the smooth planes of her stomach, tongue dipping into the hollow of her belly button, across her inner thighs.

'Holy fuck,' her voice was thick and heavy as she swore, breathy in her need. Her fingers dug into his hair as his tongue found her sweet spot. She was so wet and hot and shivering for him. Her thighs quivered on either side as he traced patterns and flicked his tongue against her. She was impossibly noisy and perfect, her hands alternating between digging into his scalp or stroking through his hair as she gasped and moaned and writhed under him. He slipped a single finger into her heat and she almost bucked him off.

Hux grinned. He couldn't help himself.

She _was_ perfect.

She tasted perfect, sounded perfect, moved in the most perfect way. And she was his. It was his name she was crying out. His flesh she was digging crescents into, his shoulder, his wrist as he palmed her breast, his forearms.

The pleasure/pain pulled his mouth away, leaving her desperate for more, squirming under him as he crawled back over her, mouth slipping kisses against sweat-drenched skin.

She was a goddess.

'Hux,' she breathed, and he let her taste herself on his lips. Then her fingers were tugging insistently at his belt, desperately trying to rid him of the last of his clothes.

He pressed his arousal into her thigh, feeling the arc of electricity at the pressure, sizzling through his veins, into his fingertips and toes, jolting through his spine. Her hips were rocking against him, unintentionally, her eyes glazed as he pulled his lips from hers. She was all sensation and he thrilled at it.

And then she nipped at his bottom lip, teeth dragging down his neck, suckling against his pulse point and he couldn't think straight. Her breasts against his chest, skin slick with need and wants, bare legs wrapped around his waist, trapping him close.

'Hux,' she whimpered. 'Please.'

Later on he could imagine that he'd taken pity on her neediness, but truthfully he was in just as bad a state. He ached. Actually _ached_ to be inside of her. It hurt and only she could make it stop. The belt was freed quickly, pants shucked off, and then he was pressing against her entrance, could feel the heat and the damp. She was whispering sweet nothings, moaning and sighing against him, fingers biting hard into his back as her hips stilled at the feel of him, thighs tense against his sides.

He slid home.

She was tight and silky and _oh so right_. He felt her ankles lock behind him, anchoring her to him. Trapping them together as they both groaned with the sensations running riot through them. The sharp jolt of hot heat spiking hard in their cores, fanning the inferno that was already raging.

He gripped her waist tightly, pressing as far into her as he could, feeling her sigh his name against his neck. And then he began to rock, slow, taunting thrusts, making her keen. He knew what she wanted, because he wanted it. He wanted it to be harder, faster, messier, but this was right too. He also wanted this, wanted to drive them both crazy.

'Rey,' his voice was heavy, low, and she drowned her name with another kiss. He began to move faster then, and she bucked up to meet him, bucked up so he could fill her more completely, in his entirety. 'Yes,' he hissed as she squeezed around him, feeling her begin to peak. And then she came apart, breaking into thousands of little pieces beneath him, letting him swallow her cries, letting him rock her into the next oblivion. Letting him rock into his own earth-shattering climax.

Hux held her tight as he came, curving around her, boxing her in. Trapping her in a cocoon of sweat and gasps and heady desire. She held him close as they spiralled down together.

\-----

She laughed into the silence of her room, both sprawled diagonally across her bedspread.

'It wasn't that bad, was it?' Hux threw an arm over his eyes, chest rising and falling rapidly as he tried to bring his breathing under control. Rey propped herself up on one elbow, hair falling over her face. She tickled patterns down his sternum, nails soft against his skin now. His heart beat staccato under her idle touch.

'It wasn't bad,' she hummed, voice mellow. The sound tingled deliciously through his senses.

'Hey, Rey?' he asked, thought coming to him rapidly enough to pull his arm away and meet her eyes. 

She quirked her eyebrows in question as he hesitated, small creases rippling along her forehead. He enjoyed her expressive face, watching her emotions stories playing out one after the other. 

'I, uh ... protection?' This was incredibly out of character for him, to lose control. To not have safeguards and plans in place, to have to ask after the fact ... part of him was horrified. The other, much smaller, part revelled in the unexpectedness, probably a trait born by force of his friendship with Ben.

'Yeah, yeah,' she pressed her fingers against his stomach, splaying them, distracting his attention. 'I'm on the pill. Teenage acne,' she said with a cheeky grin, before he could open his mouth. He was grateful, asking just how often she slept around probably wasn't the wisest thing to do. 'Easier to just stay on it.' Hux stored that knowledge away for the benefit of Ben. 'Does this ... change things?'  
Hux hummed in turn, playing with strands of her hair, letting them curl around his fingers, silky against his skin. Ben had similarly smooth hair. The thought was disturbing, both because he was thinking of Ben right now, and because he was making the comparison.

'In what way?' He finally asked, looking down at her face, flushed pink from their activities.

'Between you and Ben, I mean ...' Hux laughed at her hesitation. He couldn't help it, he knew where she was going with this. Oh yes, if Ben found out it would definitely change things, but not in the way she was thinking.

'We're just friends, Rey. Colleagues.'

Surprise into annoyance into relief into amusement. It all warred across her face in a delightful slideshow.

'So ... not gay?' She rolled onto his chest, breasts pressing against his ribs. Desire shot through him again, responding to the small, naked woman pressed snugly into his side. Thick tendrils coiling hot in his belly, into his groin. He chuckled, not realising just how much she'd bought into that one act.

'No. Not gay.' He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her fully onto him, enjoying her squeal. 'Do I need to prove it?'

\-----

'Oh, Poe you ... you're back ... with Finn.' Rey stood like a deer trapped in the headlights, hand clutching her doorframe. The two men peered over the back of the couch at her, Poe offering a cheerful wave as his curly head turned to look at her, face splitting into his charming grin.

'Yeah, he called me last night to say he was back a day early, so I picked him up after my shift! We didn't want to wake you, Sunshine, judging by where you left your shoes, we figured you were out late, otherwise we would've tackled you awake.' Finn trailed off as Hux appeared behind her in the doorway.

'Well now I wish we _had_ tackled her awake!' Poe groaned, sinking out of view before resurfacing, hanging over the back of the couch to stare at them.

'Oh God,' she murmured, before straightening her back and pulling Hux out into the kitchen, in full view. 'Finn, Poe, this is Hux.' Hux appeared neither fully awake nor impressed to be meeting new people, but he rumbled a good morning nonetheless, ever polite.

'Your boss, Hux?' Finn said into the silence.

'Yeah, boss.' Hux answered before she could, 'Co-worker, Manager, does it really make much of a difference?'

Finn waggled his eyebrows in response.

'I see what you mean, Sunshine.' And then he gave a double thumbs up. 'Lucky you introduced us first or pounce.' Poe whacked him hard in the chest.

'Stop hitting on Rey's bossfriend, it's rude, especially when I'm here!'

'Bathroom's in there,' Rey directed Hux to the door, unable to help stare at his broad, naked back, muscles shifting under smooth skin, and his butt in those trousers ... she shivered pleasurably before refocusing her gaze on two very smug faces. 'What?'

'You know what, you little minx.'

'Is he the new boyfriend? Tell me he's the new boyfriend. Your last boyfriend was so _boring_.'

'Poe! Daniel was not _boring_!'

'Sunshine, you told us he was boring when you started dating him.' She harrumphed and joined them on the couch as the shower started.

'So?' Poe prodded, leaning in close, rewarding her with coffee breath. Rey wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly, glad to see him on the couch, here in their apartment, and not on a distorted webcam screen.

'He's basically a god.' She murmured against the shirt on his chest. She felt and heard her two boys high five each other.

She didn't move until she heard the bathroom door open, bouncing up to get to Hux before Finn or Poe could. She pushed him back into her room, shepherding him until she could close her door on two sets of interested eyes.

Hux dressed with quiet efficiency, buttons slipping into place, collar turned down, hands smoothing out the worst of the creases. He slipped his coat on and borrowed her brush to smooth down his bronze locks.

'We shouldn't mention this to Ben.' His voice was low. She barely heard it as she sat, cross-legged on her bed, only a meter away from him.

'That'd be a bit awkward, wouldn't it?' Rey frowned. Why did it always seem to come back to Ben? She was going to apologise to the man for her shitty behaviour, not tell him she slept with their boss. She'd already made the connection that having a workplace romance probably wasn't the smartest idea, and flaunting it even less of one.

'Precisely.' Hux picked up his scarf and wrapped it around his neck.

'Did you want to stay for breakfast?' She offered, unsure of what to do now.

'No, I have brunch plans today. I would have liked to, though.'

She walked him to the front door. They didn't kiss farewell, barely touched, but it didn't feel too awkward, even with the peanut gallery watching them from the couch.

'Do we need to give you the talk?' Poe asked as she locked the front door. Rey felt the laughter bubble up before she could stop it, found she didn't want to.

'I don't think I've given yours yet!' She pounced, diving between them and wriggling in to destroy their boyfriend cuddles. 'Has anyone told you how babies are made?!'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *SPOILER ALERT SO SKIP IF NO WANTSIES*  
> Hello my wonderfully indecisive weird Anti-Reyux people (Don't hurt Hux's feelings!), this story is first and foremost Reylo. First and foremost. Just keep that in mind.  
> There are many speed bumps in the road that is Ben Solo's life. One of those is currently my squishy Hux.


	13. Chapter 13

Ben found a mug of steaming black tea sitting on his desk when he walked into the office on Monday morning.

He stood and stared at it for quite some time before dragging his eyes up to Hux's desk. It was empty. The ginger hadn't arrived yet, which in turn raised questions because Hux was always early. His eyes then slid towards the open door of Rey’s domain. The light was on, but it was quiet.

Ben dumped his bag, scarf and coat onto his seat before tentatively approaching the filing room.  
She was sitting cross legged on the floor, in an oversized cream jumper with frayed holes around the cuffs that she'd worn twice last week , and black leggings that she could have worn every day last week, but leggings were slightly harder to distinguish ... without being a complete pervert. Her hair was pulled up into a messy ponytail, boots kicked off and laying haphazardly beside the door. She had a pen in her mouth, a list in hand, and her whole body was bopping to music only she could hear through headphones that had definitely seen better days.

He cleared his throat, but she made no indication of hearing him.

He noticed, with a twinge of amusement, that she was mouthing the words as she wiggled her shoulders to the beat. She was wiggling her butt, too, but he pointedly wasn't looking. Pointedly.  
He was definitely looking.

'Rey,' he called out, not wanting to touch her. He called a little louder the second time and she paused, whole body going stiff.

Like a poorly trained extra in a D-grade horror film, she turned slowly, eyes wide, mouth open ... and then she grinned.

'Morning Ben!' She scrambled to her feet, ripping her headphones out of her ears. He caught the faint thread of guitar before she was pausing her phone and shoving it back into the voluminous expanse of her jumper.

'Morning.' He offered, more than slightly taken aback. She was being bubbly, to him. Ben. He had to resist the urge to check if Hux was standing behind him. 'The tea,' he said, pointing over his shoulder towards his desk, 'was that yours?'

'No, that's yours.' She was still smiling up at him, hands in what he assumed were pockets somewhere in the cream fabric folds.

'Oh, thanks.' He turned to get it, sick of the way it's black goodness was mocking him with tendrils of delicious steam.

'Yeah. Look, Ben.' He paused, looking back at her. Honestly, it felt a bit strange being able to look at her because she was speaking to him. 'I'm sorry for being a bitch.' She stared him in the eye as she said it, back straight, face completely open and honest. Her smile had vanished, leaving her frowning slightly, lips pursed as she spoke. Ben forcibly stamped down the desire to kiss the frown away, shoving his hands into the pockets of his trousers instead, trying to look casual and not in any way awkward or lecherous. 'There's no excuse. I was horrible to you, and I am sorry.'

'It's okay.' He stepped back, moved towards his desk again and rescued the tea, cradling it between cold hands with delight. He smiled at her as she moved into the main office space, trailing him.

'It's really not.' She wrinkled her nose, bared her teeth as she pulled a face he guessed was her version of disgruntled. Or playful. Or maybe she was having a stroke. He took a sip of tea and sighed with pleasure. He hadn't realised she'd paid attention to his preferred office beverage. It was always coffee, coffee, coffee with Hux. Ben couldn't stand the bitterness, always piled it with sugar and milk, but black tea? 'It's not okay.' Her voice pulled him back to her, back to the small woman who had rocked his world in a bathroom cubicle and then flipped said world on its head a few days later. 'I mean, I guess because you're kinda creepy I over reacted a bit, it's just ... you stare a lot, Ben. It's creepy, really weird. You need to cut back. I promise I'll be nicer to you, I don't like being mean. It feels wrong, and it is wrong to treat you the way I have.'

'Well ... thanks, I guess.' He sat down and tried not to stare at her. Only he didn't know where else to look, so he stared down at the tea. Her face seemed to float in the liquid, telling him he was a creep. 'I guess I can ... stop staring ... I didn't realise. Sorry.' He mumbled the last part, but she laughed, suddenly in front of his desk, small hands splayed across the wood in his line of sight.

He followed the tanned digits, tracking up her arms, her shoulders and neck, to her beaming, freckled face. She was delightful from afar. She was fucking delightful up close. Ben felt like a teenager all over again, awkward and blushing and desperately wishing his instant hard-on would just go away under the desk.

'Sorry about the files, 'kay? I should've given them to you. I didn't realise they were super important. Let's start again.' And then her hand was shoved in front of his face. 'I'm Rey.' She waggled slender eyebrows. Ben tentatively took her hand, a burst of warmth against his still cool palms, and shook it firmly. His Dad had taught him to always shake firmly, screw gender, a good handshake was a good handshake. Rey gave a good handshake and an even better smile. The contact was making him gooey, and harder.

'I'm Ben, nice to meet you,' he smiled. She leant forward and smacked him on the shoulder with her free hand.

'That's the spirit! If I find any more poorly placed things of yours, I'll just hand them over, no fuss. Your personal stuff is your personal stuff. If I'm being unreasonable ...' she paused, chewing her bottom lip as her eyes crinkled in consideration. 'Don't call me out on it,' she shook her head, smiling again, 'I'll fight you.' And then she was slipping away, moving back to her office, leaving his hand cold and empty.

'Morning!' Hux called as he entered. 'Sorry I'm late, had to take a phone call.' Ben watched as Hux and Rey met eyes. Hux looked away quickly and Rey’s ears flushed red. Something twisted in his chest, something heavy and dark stirring, but he ignored it as Hux sat down and began organising his work space for the week. 'You have a student in five minutes, Ben.' He called over his shoulder, forcing Ben to actually turn on his computer and start his own work, as if his pants weren’t tenting in a room of three people.

\-----

It was a strange week in the office. Ben was quickly getting used to Rey’s friendliness. He'd found no more surprise cups of tea, but they were now offered by her whenever Hux started demanding a coffee. She technically wasn't hired to make them drinks, but when Hux called, she came, and if she came, she offered the same courtesy to him. It was nice.

He made sure to not stare at her when she was around, but that was becoming a lot easier to manage. It wasn't considered staring if you were able to talk to the person you were looking at. And he'd made her laugh a couple of times, too, which did strange things to his heart and filled his gut with what he supposed they called 'butterfly wings' or something. He was falling hard for the girl, he knew it as soon as she'd shaken his hand. Really, he'd known much earlier, but he was happy to take it from that point and move on.

Rehearsals had become less stressful, somehow, because of her, too. The band were absolute arseholes to him, but that didn't matter. Who cared if he didn't get angry as quickly, or break something? Wasn't that a good thing? And what did it matter if he was disgustingly mellow at the gig on Wednesday? He still got a chick to flash them, so he really didn't know what the band was griping about. Well, except for Reg and his obsession with the old guy who'd come and listened to them. It was all about signing for Reg, about making it big.

For Ben, now, it was all about Rey, and she was letting him talk to her, letting him make her smile and giggle.

He stirred the hot water with the tea bag, dunking it a couple of times as he stared into the nothingness of their office room. They were lucky enough to have an instant boiler and a sink, meaning they didn't have to keep ducking off to the small staff room. He could hear Hux barking orders through the phone at some poor clerk, arguing over some timetable misprint or something. Ben didn't overly care. Hux had been acting pretty off this week, too. Something to do with the phone call that had made him late on Monday.

And possibly something to do with Rey.

He'd noticed their occasional awkwardness. It was like Rey had taken her openness with Hux and switched it with how awkward she'd used to be with Ben. And she blushed a lot around him. She never used to do that. Perhaps Hux had told her off about her behaviour to Ben, maybe that was why the two of them were acting weird. An embarrassed sort of boss/worker relationship. But they whispered together a lot, which wasn't how embarrassed people acted, was it? Like they had a secret they didn't want him on. It hadn't been bothering Ben, not really. Because Rey was talking to him, and smiling. But there was something off between Hux and Rey. Something ... odd.

He dumped the teabag in the plastic bin and moved towards the open door of Rey's filing room.

'Do you need a hand?' Ben asked, holding out the mug of tea towards Rey as she stood on a chair, cobwebs dangling from wisps of flyaway hair.

She promptly dropped the ancient box of unlabelled contents onto the floor with a _bang_ , jumped off in one smooth motion, and seized the cup with a grin. He'd counted three minutes out to let the green tea brew before tossing the bag. He'd learnt it specifically for her.

'I'd love one.'

'The boxes at the top?' He offered, not needing the wobbly chair, or the desk she'd shoved up against another set of shelves, to reach.

'That would be _great_!' She took a sip of her gifted tea and smiled pleasurably. 'This is so good, thank you!'

'No worries.' He plucked down the boxes, one by one, arms straining under the surprising weight of them. He wondered how she'd managed to shift so many already. They felt like they were filled with bricks. 'How's the filing going if you don't know what's in them?'

'Alphabetical by surname, scholarship or company. Students are on the couch, scholarships are on those shelves and companies are sitting on those cabinets. Once everything's labelled and in the right folders and sleeves, then I can box them and stack them back up correctly.' Her eyes sparkled over the rim of the tea cup, the school logo partially obscured by her fingers. 'I'm so freaking close, Ben, you have no idea. Filing shouldn't be this hard!'

'And then there's all the cabinets in our office. And then there's the storage room across the hall, and one of the counsellors has been whinging to us about when you'll be free.' He rolled his eyes at her. She flashed teeth as her smile widened.

Ben sneezed violently at the cloud of dust that puffed up from his next box. She giggled. The sound light and distracting. He sneezed again, and then gagged at the dust coating the back of his throat.

'It's pretty bad.' She agreed pleasantly, evidently happy to be the one sipping a warm drink and supervising. Once he could finally speak, Ben agreed, eyes watering, throat horribly dry and scratchy.

She followed him back to his desk as he looked for his bottle of water.

'Causing trouble?' Hux asked, turning to face them.

'Only always,' Rey teased, and Ben watched as a pink flush crept across her cheeks again. 

'So, my fellow work mates,' Hux declared, hands smoothing down the front of his already crease-free shirt, 'it is Friday, and I do believe all of us are free tonight?' He didn't look at Rey when he asked, he kept his green eyes focused on Ben. Ben nodded agreement. 'Drinks, then? This week has positively dragged. There are rumours about some funding shift and everyone's getting all panicky about it. Do you know how many students are begging to come and see us because of it?' He gave a very un-Hux like groan and rolled his eyes. Rey snorted. Ben glanced at her, but her attention was solely on Hux. Ben frowned slightly. He'd also noticed, over the past week, that, despite the whispering, Hux and Rey had been talking less, yet seemed to understand each other more, like right now. And that irked him. A lot. But it was okay, because Rey was talking to him now. It was okay.

'So it's a drink date then?' Rey asked, clapping her hands together in delight. Hux nodded with a smile aimed only at her, Ben seemingly forgotten.

Ben fiddled with his water bottle for a moment before clearing his throat.

'I can't stay out too late tonight, so we should go straight after work.' Hux waved a hand as if it wasn't important.

'Do whatever you need to, we're not your parents,' Hux said dismissively, turning back to his desk as Rey retreated back to her room.

'Hux,' Ben said in a low voice, once the brunette had vanished. Hux hummed in response, not turning his head, fingers tapping away at the keyboard. 'Is there something up with Rey?'

'Not that I'm aware of, why?'

'She's just been ... I dunno. Acting weird this week.'

'For being nice to you? Shocker, I know. Stranger things have happened. Probably not to you. Don't let her touch you inappropriately.' Ben scowled at the back of his head, wanting to slam into the back of the chair to shove Hux into the desk. But he resisted the urge and stepped out from their alcove. 'And Ben,' Hux called out, a little louder. Ben glanced at the back of Hux's gelled hair and pulled a face. 'Play nice.'

'I always play nice,' he grumbled, slouching back into her domain. She was sitting cross-legged, surrounded by paper. He joined her on the ground, folding himself awkwardly to mimic her position. She sipped at her tea as she worked, scribbling labels onto folders, slipping pages into plastic sheets or punching holes to keep the loose leafs in their binders.

They sat in fairly companionable silence for some time. Ben moved only to hand her new manila folders, or new clips. He helped her stack her work in the appropriate piles and even refilled her tea. He had no work, and no appointments, so he was quite content just being near her, grateful that she didn't seem too opposed to his presence.

'They weren't ... poems.' He said as he handed her a new pen, tossing the broken one she'd just given him into the bin across the room. It landed with a metallic ping in the waste basket.

'Hmm?' She looked up at him, distracted from what she was reading. Hazel eyes met his, confused yet alert.

'The ... other day. They weren't poems.' She set her work down on the ground, turning to face him a little better.

'What was it then?' Her voice was heavy with curiosity, slender eyebrows raised. Ben leant back against the couch, feet planted firmly on the ground, arms wrapped loosely around his knees as he watched her. He didn't know why he was telling her this. Maybe some form of explanation for his actions.

'Lyrics.' He watched her process the word, her eyebrows rising further, eyes widening slightly.

'Like, song lyrics?' And then she laughed. It wasn't a mocking laugh, more disbelieving.

'What, you're happy to believe I write poems, but not lyrics?'

'That would mean you sing, or play an instrument.'

'I do all of those things. I'm in a band.'

'A band.' She said it blankly, disbelieving.

'Yeah, a band.' He could feel the defensiveness creep into his voice, shoulders hunching as she argued with him. Only, she wasn't really arguing. He forced himself to relax.

'What kind of band?' And then he remembered why he hadn't told her in the first place. Idiot.

'One that plays music. It's no big deal. I just ... wanted to let you know, they weren't stupid poems.'

'They were stupid lyrics instead?' She laughed again, teasing him, her smile infectious as he let a small grin form across his lips, despite the hurt and the defensiveness she was causing.

'I have work to do.' He stood quickly, needing the out. The smile on her face faltered slightly.

'Hey, sorry, I didn't mean to offend you.'

'You weren't.' His assurances were hollow to his own ears, he didn't doubt they sounded hollow to her. It wasn't her fault, not really. She didn't know those folders contained music his own band would mock him for. It also wasn't really her fault that she didn't remember ... and that he'd possibly almost jogged her memory of the bathroom, and of then ... and oh boy did he not want to deal with those repercussions, not now. Not after so long. He dusted off his pants, suddenly not wanting to look at her.

'Ben, seriously. It's cool. I could never write music. It must be hard. I never would have picked you to be in a band.' But he was moving out of the room, like a sullen child, sulking back to his desk.

'You didn't play very nice,' Hux muttered under his breath as Ben sat down. 'I better not have to make you apologise again.' But by pub o'clock it was clear no apologies were needed. Rey was in their office and gesturing for them to hurry up with exaggerated arm movements.

'Let's go!' She encouraged, darting forward to grab Hux by the arm and forcibly pull him out into the hall. 'I want another chicken parmigiana! And a beer! Come on, come _on_!' And Ben tried not to be jealous as he followed behind.


	14. Chapter 14

Rey was on edge. More than on edge. She felt like she was a hair away from exploding.

The week had been torture. Utter and absolute torture of the worst kind.

Not only had Hux turned up late on Monday, making her think he was avoiding her, but actually _seeing_ him made her wish he _had_ been avoiding her! She couldn't stop from blushing and remembering. His lips, his tongue, his hands. How nice it was to wake up in his arms, despite him sitting up once he saw the time and demanding to know where the bathroom was. And remembering _that_ while standing in your shared office with another man looking at you, well ... that was a new kind of torture all over again.

Rey glanced at Ben as his dark eyes skimmed the menu. His hair was windswept and unruly, black scarf still wound around the lower half of his face. She tried to picture him sitting on stage with a piano, singing. It would have to be a piano, she thought, his fingers were long, so it made sense. But she couldn't imagine it, couldn't imagine anything other than short, stumbled, grumbling phrases falling past those lips as he sat at his desk glaring at his computer screen. But the fact that he'd told her, that she knew that about him now, it was somehow ... nice. It was nice getting along with him. He was actually quite kind and considerate, which made her feel all the worse for how she'd acted towards him. Made her feel all the more on edge because now she sort of almost cared what he thought of her.

His eyes flicked up and met her gaze, a dark eyebrow rising in silent question. She quickly looked down.

'The nachos are good,' she offered, trying to deflect his attention away from her. The bar they'd gone to the first time had been packed, so they'd taken Rey’s suggestion to go to her favourite. Ben mulled over her words for a moment, finger tracking down the suggested item.

'I'll go with the pasta,' Hux decided, pressing his stained, laminated copy onto the tacky surface of the table. 'And a wine. Always a wine. Rey?' He leant closer to her as he said her name. The sound of it raced shivers down her spine and she wondered if this Friday night would end like last Fridays. Part of her hoped for a yes. One awkward week seemed like a fair trade-off for it. That, and her inability to study while sitting on the same bed.

'I was going to have the nachos, and a beer.'

'The same,' Ben said, though Hux hadn't offered. Hux squeezed her knee under the table, before getting up to order at the bar. Rey watched him go, tracking the movement of his shoulders, the length of his legs ... his arse. Her face flushed as she realised Ben was watching her.

'This is my favourite place,' she said by way of conversation.

'I don't mind it,' he answered, glancing up at the stage. 

It was empty at the moment, the live music wouldn't start until much later, when the eating crowd had vanished and the drinking crowd had arrived. Rey hoped she wouldn't be here by then. She wasn't really in the mood for that sort of noise right now. 

'It has a good vibe,' he added as an afterthought. She nodded in agreement, glancing in Hux's direction again. He was already ordering, pulling his wallet from his pocket.

'So, does your band perform?' She asked, following the natural segue. She didn't miss his shoulders stiffening, or the flattening of his lips. 'I mean, you'd see a lot of live music if you did, probably get to see a few different venues. It must be nice.'

'Yeah, I enjoy live music. Listening to a recording is never the same as actually being there and feeling it.' Hux was sliding their drinks in front of them by the time Ben answered. Rey nursed hers as Ben took a sip.

'Jazz?' She asked, glancing at the froth on her beer. Ben snorted into his cup and Hux coughed into his hand, looking away quickly. Rey frowned. 'Not Jazz, then?'

'Oh, you missed a call today, Ben.' Hux interrupted, stroking the stem of his wine glass idly. 'Apparently _Reg_ has been calling your mobile and you've been ignoring him. So he called our workplace instead.' Ben scowled darkly and glared into his beer.

'Who's Reg?' Rey asked.

'A friend.' The way Ben pronounced the word didn't make them sound like they were on friendly terms. Rey glanced at Hux, who rolled his eyes. Ben was being dramatic and moody.

'Maybe you should just call him and get it out of the way?' She offered helpfully, trying to clear the air of whatever this tense exchange had become.

'I'm seeing him tonight.' Ben replied, and she could tell he was trying not to snap. He raked a hand through his hair, suddenly leaning back into the uncomfortable seat, groaning loudly. 'He just won't leave me alone.'

'Boyfriend? Cute boyfriend?' Rey tried again. That earned her an incredulous look. Ben actually laughed in surprise.

'What?'

'Well, you just sound so ... I dunno ... like a relationship issue.' She felt her face burn in embarrassment, already realising she'd made a huge error in judgement. Evidently Hux had been insinuating for the both of them, then. She shot a glare in his direction. The redhead was both clearly amused and pointedly not making eye contact with her.

'It's a friendship issue,' Ben snorted, but the strain in the air had been broken, and Ben was relaxing again. 'God forbid me if _Reg_ was my romantic entanglement. That would be a nightmare.' And then the food was being placed on the table.

Two huge plates of cornchips and guacamole, sour cream, melted cheese, beans and tomato, and a giant beef burger with chips. Rey's mouth watered at the sight and the smell, tummy growling loudly over the ambient noise of the other diners in the venue.

'This was a good recommendation.' Ben said as he started tucking in. Rey wasn't too far behind.

\-----

Meal defeated, Ben sat back, nursing his new beer as he watched Hux dab at his mouth with a napkin, tower of a burger mostly consumed. Rey hadn't been far behind Ben. Her appetite was impressive. For such a small girl she sure put away a lot of food. There was nothing but a smear of sauce on her plate and a corn chip that had landed on the table.

He rubbed his stomach, enjoying the aftertaste of cheese and tomato, nudging his plate away from himself. The dinner crowd was slowly ebbing and the band had arrived only a few moments ago, already lugging equipment up onto the stage. He couldn't help but roll his eyes as he spotted one of the guys carry in their own P.A. Rooky mistake, this place already had one, and a pretty good one at that. He spotted a woman hefting a fabric guitar case and immediately picked them as The Stormtroopers. They'd played a few sets together over the years. The group was a bit of work and required a lot of sweet talking. The woman was a nightmare dressed like a daydream, all sharp tongue and razor nails and an ego to rival his on-stage one. 

Ben looked away, no longer interested in their progress, or the chance of getting recognised by them. Instead he slid his gaze over Hux, who had resumed eating his dinner, and settled on the freckled face of Rey.

Her face was a wash of faint blue light from her phone, a frown rapidly spreading across her face. He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but her head snapped up at the sound of her name, hollered from across the room.

Ben followed her attention to two men. He recognised one of them instantly and felt his heart plummet into his feet. The darker of the two was definitely her friend from the pub, the one that had left her alone. The one that had come back inside while Ben was settling her into a table, about to get her some water. Ben had spotted him and hightailed it back to the band room because fuck explaining to the male friend of a girl that she'd been willing, despite her drunkness, and that he hadn't taken advantage of her. He really hadn't, and he hadn't wanted that euphoric, orgasmic high ruined by a punch up. Though, if it hadn't been dented by her hurling on him, the fight probably wouldn't have made much of a difference.

But her friend was here, now, and approaching them, arm around the waist of the curly-haired man. 

Ben quickly glanced back at her only to find that Rey looked almost as horrified as Ben felt. But then so did Hux and the panic ebbed slightly into confusion, because Hux didn't know who these people were, just like Ben shouldn't have.

'Hey Sunshine!' The darker of the two called out again. 'Did not expect to see you here! Poe and I were up for a night out! We're not interrupting anything, are we?' He wiggled his eyebrows at her, and the man called Poe jostled him with his hip.

'Hey Finn, Poe,' Rey offered lamely, body tense. Finn looked around the table, nodding a polite hello to Ben, before his grin widened and his stuck out his hand to Hux.

More relief flooded through Ben. He hadn't been recognised. Thank everything and everyone. But Hux. Why was the man Finn trying to shake Hux's hand and not his?

'Good to see you again!' Finn was saying as Hux took his hand.

Again?

'Hey, Bossfriend!' Poe was adding, and Ben's eyebrows were drawing closer together, the frown expanding because something was really fucking wrong here. Rey was trying to sink under the table as her two friends remained oblivious to the rising tension.

Hux, to his credit, looked as calm as he normally fucking did, face smooth as he greeted them. Only the slight twitch of his right eye indicated any sort of discomfort.

'How do you know each other?' Ben managed to seethe, because he was starting to suspect something that he'd been ignoring all week, because he’d believed Hux wasn't the kind of person to do that. Because Hux was his friend and knew what such an action would mean.

Hux looked at him briefly, and then looked away. Rey's head had snapped in his direction at the sound of his voice, face pale and worried. Poe and Finn both looked at him with open friendliness, utterly oblivious to the turmoil raging in Ben's chest. 

His heart was hammering painfully because something was _really_ not fucking right here.

'Hey! You work with Rey too?' Finn asked, offering a hand. Ben ignored it, glare fixated on Hux. The ginger was steadfastly not looking at him. And then he was, eyes cool and green and piercing. But he remained silent, lips pressed thinly together.

'We met Bossfriend last Saturday, ain't that right, Rey?' Poe jostled, before something seemed to click in his mind and that friendly smile faltered. Ben sneered, because if Ben didn't know, there was obviously a reason why Rey hadn't told him. Or why Hux hadn't told him that he'd slept with the woman Ben was not so secretly obsessed with. 

Why wouldn't that be a problem? 

Because that was obviously what was going on here.

There was no other explanation for their damning silence, her flaming cheeks and Hux's emotionless eyes, for her friends to know who Hux was and, of course, why they'd met Hux last weekend, after they'd cancelled their plans. 

'You slept with her.' He said it so calmly, so certainly. So at odds with the blackness pumping through his veins and filling his core. His head ached almost as much as his chest did. Because this was Hux. _Hux_.

'It wasn't planned, or anything!' Rey was saying, almost babbling, face suddenly bright red, and she was staring down at her hands, and then glaring at her friends, and then glancing at Hux, and then staring at her hands again. But this wasn't her fault. This wasn't on her because Rey didn't _know_ about Ben. But Hux did. And Hux was still staring at him. Mouth a flat line, face hard and pale and distant.

'You slept with her.' Ben said again, his words only for Hux. The rage was swift, overwhelming and his empty plate, glasses and cutlery went flying to the floor, smashing into hundreds of shards against concrete. Rey squealed and stumbled out of her seat. Away from the mess. Into Hux.  
Because they had slept together.

Hux had knowingly had sex with Rey.

Knowingly.

Ben was on his feet, chair skittering behind him, breath coming hard and fast, rattling in his throat, through his teeth. His chest ached with a dull, pulsing throb. He was seconds away from reaching over the sticky little table and flattening Hux’s nose, already imagining the satisfying crunch, the swell of red. His fists shook with the concept. It wasn't uncalled for, not really.

The blackness flooded through his mind, whole body vibrating with the anger and the hurt and betrayal because this was fucking _Hux_! His friend! Companion! The man was practically _family_! But then that's what family was, wasn't it? Pure disappointment in the end.

He barely saw Finn and Poe's startled faces, barely recognised the panic and fear on Rey's, because she'd never seen him angry. Not really. She thought she had when he'd demanded his music back, but that had been mild annoyance compared to this murderous feeling brewing in him. No, there was only that fucking placid face that knew exactly what it had done. Those lips had kissed Rey. All of Rey. Ben could already imagine it, could remember how nice she'd tasted, even while drunk. How she'd felt. Was this his fault? Because he'd put the thought in Hux's brain? Was this some sort of punishment?

Ben was stormed out, forcing his way through the crowd of patrons and diners, because he knew starting a fight in the pub would be bad. He had to play here, he couldn't get himself banned. He had enough control to prevent a fight here. Barely.

Except Hux shadowed him outside, calling his name. And that was it. Ben saw instant red.

Ben slammed his fist hard into the boarded up door beside Hux's head. They stood in a side alley, blanketed in the darkness that was rapidly consuming his insides, suffocating him.

'You knew, and you slept with her. You're fucking disgusting.' He snarled, low and deep, the words dripping vilely from his lips because Hux was still looking placid and unaffected, his hair smooth against his scalp, skin pale, unflushed.

His fist throbbed dully, but not enough to distract, or to temper the hurt.

'I did.' Hux finally admitted softly. Ben’s fists bunched into the collar of Hux's shirt, slamming him hard into the brick wall.

'Why?' And that one word sounded so pitiful and sad and small that Ben was incited to more anger, slamming Hux backwards again, earning a small, pained huff from the placid face that was slowly cracking.

'Not to hurt you.'

'Not to ...' Ben laughed, a sharp cracking sound that hurt his throat. 'You knew what you did.'

'I know.' Hux agreed. 'And I'm not going to apologise. That woman is amazing.' Ben hit him, hard. A shot to the gut that would have doubled Hux if Ben hadn't been pressed into him. Hux's head hit his shoulder, though, air wheezing rapidly from his lungs, arms clinging to his aching belly. Ben shoved him backwards again. 'She's everything you thought and more, but you couldn't do anything, Ben. Was I supposed to wait until you died of old age?'

'You shouldn't have done anything!'

 

'Man up, already.' Hux was regaining his composure, so Ben punched him again, stepping back to let Hux hunch over.

'How dare you.'

'No. How dare _you_.' The suddeny ferocity in Hux's words made Ben pause. The boiling hate simmered down slightly, pooling in his extremities, thickening in his throat, in his stomach, congealing in his mind.

'What?'

'I didn't just force myself on her.' Hux spat, straightening, despite the wince that flashed across his face. 'She was a willing participant. We're adults, Ben. She isn't property.'

'I know that!' Ben yelled, couldn't stop himself. Hux managed to resist Bens advance for a moment, but Ben was stronger and Hux's back hit the brick wall roughly, head banging back against the stone. 'Just like you knew I liked her. That I wanted-'

'To just watch her? Ben. Seriously.'

All those insecurities came flooding back. Of seeing her walk through their office door that first day, completely oblivious, friendly, eager. Of her obvious and immediate attachment to Hux, her distance with Ben. Had her recent friendliness been because of Hux as well? Had Ben been that pathetic and unmemorable that _Hux_ had made her be nice? Bile rose thick in his throat, black spots dancing across his vision as his head poundedpounded _pounded_. He was just a useless drunk lay in a bar. Nothing more. Nothing worth recalling. A nobody, a means to an end. Always an end. To a job, to a quick fuck, to good grades, decent music, to money. His whole life just a means to an end for somebody. And now, suddenly, that somebody was Hux. The one man he'd mistakenly thought wouldn't use him like that.

'I quit.' There was no instant regret as the words left his mouth. Just solid anger, and satisfaction as the last of the colour drained from Brendon Hux's face. It was his turn to stammer.

'W-what?'

'I. Quit.' Ben enunciated with dark, quiet precision. 'I can barely look at you.' And then Rey's voice was floating out to them.

'Hux? Ben?' She was standing in the entrance of the alleyway, her shadow stretching towards them, voice high and worried.

Ben shoved himself away, suddenly not wanting to touch the redhead, not wanting to even breath the same air.

Betrayed.

He stormed past Rey, not even acknowledging her as he pulled out his phone to call Reg.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well the shit has hit the fan. I repeat. The shit has hit the fan.
> 
> Hoooo-boy.
> 
>  
> 
> I would also just like to take this moment to say thank you all dearly for your comments (especially Jennity who seriously warmed my heart and cheered me up a lot).   
> I'm getting quite a few comments of Rey-hate and Ben-hate and Hux-hate at the moment, and that's fine, you're perfectly allowed to hate the characters!  
> But just remember, they are characters living out their own situations.   
> I don't mind you bitching about them, you're very entitled to it, but try to be a little constructive about it.  
> It's incredibly depressing for me to slave over a chapter and then come back and find a slew of people complaining about how much they hate the characters, with nothing constructive or nice to add. In fact, it's pretty depressing for any author.
> 
> That being said, I love that I've managed to fluster you all enough to whinge >=D  
> I WILL CREATE ALL THE SUFFERING! FEEL MY WRATH!  
> I WOULD BE NOTHING WITHOUT ALL OF YOU!  
> *hugs you all anyway*


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What up, my party people?  
> I love you all.  
> You're all fantastic.  
> Thank you for your support and comments and kudos.  
> You are my soul mates (don't tell LucidLucy, she'll get jealous!)

Reg had been beyond ecstatic by the time Ben had swept into the room, ignoring the rest of the people gyrating to the low, dulcet tones of whatever bass filth Toby had convinced them to turn on.

'You mean it?' The guy had gushed, barely containing his glee. Ben had nodded sullenly, scowling, fingers still curled into fists an hour after his altercation with Hux.

Everything hurt. Inside and out. He felt raw, scraped out and hollow.

'I'm calling right now to get the contract, then,' Reg was already on his phone, Snoke's number probably on speed dial, simply waiting for Ben to break. And Ben had broken. 'Have a drink!' And then something that looked like vodka was pushed into his hands, so Ben drank. And drank. And drank until he wasn't sure whether it was Saturday or Sunday because Adam and Pod kept mixing god-awful drinks and putting them in his hands. The crowds changed, but the band stayed together, laughing and jostling and singing and yelling, voices cracking, alcohol sloshing. The papers had been signed at some hazy point and Snoke had brought more people to the festivities. And Ben wasn't sure exactly who she was when she straddled him on a couch, all he knew was she didn't look like Rey, she didn't smell like Rey and she certainly didn't get him off as well as Rey had. But he thought she enjoyed it before he pushed her away and fell asleep, facing away from the never ending party until his phone alarm went off. Because it was Monday now, and he had to go to work.

Except he quit.

He could remember quitting, vaguely, like a forgotten dream in the haze of the weekend and alcohol.

But he still had to go, he was slightly certain of that, you could quit but then you still had to go. And his lyrics were still in his desk. And his favourite mug. That was there too. So he pushed himself off the couch that had been his home, stumbling through a throng of half dressed strangers and band-mates, and somehow managed to get home to shower.

\-----

Rey hadn't realised she'd been holding her breath until Ben stumbled in at 11:48am.

He looked awful.

She watched in silent horror from her room as he shuffled in, sunglasses perched on the bridge of his nose, dark hood pulled up over his head, shadowing his face. She realised, with a start, that it was the first time she'd seen him in anything that wasn't tan or beige. Except for those black jeans from her dream ... she hastily smothered the thought, refusing to dwell on it. Ben was allowed to own other clothes.

'Ben?' She asked tentatively from her spot on the floor. He turned towards her and shuffled into her room, groaning as he sank onto the couch beside her pile of work. 'Are you okay?' He groaned again, putting his head in his hands. She chewed on her lip nervously. 'Are you ... sick?'

'Hung over.' He rumbled. 'Or still drunk.'

'You had ... some meetings this morning. But Hux did them-' She watched as he completely stiffened at the mention of Hux. Rey sighed and edged closer to the big man, squatting before him. 'Ben?' She tugged the glasses from his impossibly pale face. His eyes were bloodshot and bruised. His cheeks were shadowed with stubble.

'I'm not mad at you.' He said softly, impossibly gentle considering his appearance.

'Did you want a coffee?' She asked instead, unable to help her worry for him. Hux had been stonily silent all morning. In fact, he had been since Friday night.

Finn and Poe had been a mess of embarrassment and worry and confusion the moment Hux and Ben had fled the pub, leaving Rey just as lost. And then seeing them in the alley way, pressed close together, arguing ... and the way Ben had walked past her without even _looking_ at her ... Ben always looked at her. 

Hux had offered some sort of reassurance that everything would be okay, and he'd patted her shoulder, like she were nothing more than a child. And then he'd left. Just left her there, with Poe and Finn and a sorry. She hated not knowing, because something had gone on between them, and that made her feel angry. And bad. Because somehow this had to do with her.

She wasn't blind, or stupid. Somehow, whatever had happened between the two men, it was because of her. 

'Just tea,' Ben mumbled as he dropped his face into his hands again. She could tell he'd had a shower, could smell the hint of soap and his hair was still damp. But he positively reeked of alcohol, as if his body was trying to force it from his pores.

She pushed herself up and left him momentarily to his own misery.

'How is he?' Hux asked as she fished a tea bag out of the carton.

'Miserable.' She rested her hip against the sink as she turned to face him. 'Why won't you talk to me?'

'I am.' Hux responded easily, glancing up at her from his monitor. 'I've been doing his job too, since he couldn't come in any earlier.'

'He's been drinking all weekend. What did you fight about?' She filled the cup with boiling water and let it sit on the edge of the sink as she approached Hux. She slid her fingers through his hair, trying to coax the answer from him. It wasn't as if she'd texted him multiple times and even tried to call him over the weekend. It hurt a fair bit, how dismissive he was of her questions. 

'It's nothing to worry about, it's between us.' He kept typing, ignoring her with steadfast determination, so Rey abandoned him, trying to ignore the stab of pain. There had been something between her and Hux, something new and fresh and open, but now he was shutting her out. Locking her from his life when she'd let him into hers. 

Perhaps Ben would open up to her.

Ben accepted the tea with mumbled gratitude, fingers brushing hers as he took the cup from her.

'It isn't anything to worry about,' he reassured her, and Rey cursed the thin walls of the office. Of course everyone could hear everything. She studied the hunched figure for a moment, before moving back to her spot on the floor. If anyone walked in it looked like she was working, instead of the studying she was actually doing. Only ... now she could concentrate even less.

'I am worried, though,' she said into the sullen silence. Ben didn't look up, didn't move at all. He seemed to be inhaling the tendrils of steam.

'I quit.' He said it so softly, she almost missed it.

'Excuse me?' She put her pen down, fingertips grazing the coarse carpet.

'We argued about me quitting, so don't worry about it.'

'Don't ... don't worry?' She asked incredulously, scrambling to her feet again. 'Why would you _quit_?' His answer was preposterous. How could she _not_ worry about someone quitting when she felt like she was the reason? Though how, she didn't have the slightest notion.

'I had another job offer,' he answered lamely. She couldn't really argue against that answer, though it didn't ring completely true to her ears.

'But ... then why are you here?' She couldn't stop the question, wasn't sure why it had even occurred to her to ask. She was horrified the moment she said the words, staring at him in dismay, hands against her mouth. He didn't look too upset, though, as he tilted his face up towards hers, squinting in the light, cup trembling in his hands. 

'Yes, Ben. Why are you here?' Rey watched in morbid fascination as white hot rage flooded across Ben's face as he turned to look at Hux, who was lounging against the door frame, hands in his pockets, watching them. 'I'm quite happy for you to go home and never come in again.'

'Hux!' Rey admonished, but Ben was already pushing himself unsteadily to his feet, the tea forgotten on the floor by his feet as he glared down at the redhead. Rey held her breath, suddenly, alarmingly aware that Ben looked on the verge of violence.

She'd never seen him so ... agitated. It was terrifying, for lack of a better word.

'Obviously it was a mistake coming to work, then.' Ben growled, the huge bulk of him postured into a threatening stance. But Hux didn't budge, simply stared up at him, judging quietly.

Rey had never seen them like this. This defiance and opposition. They'd argued, sure, but in a way that was friendly, if not slightly hurtful. This was downright nasty, the tension flooding thick through the air, suffocating. She felt tense and apprehensive. It was only then she noticed the bruises on Ben’s knuckles, and her eyes widened in surprise.

'Ben!' She hissed, because she had been in fights before, she knew what caused those bruises. But Ben wouldn't look at her. The way his shoulders were braced, he looked ready to shove Hux out of the way.

But then Hux was stepping back and letting Ben have access to the main office.

Rey stood silently beside Hux as Ben ripped through his desk, removing everything that was his, before storming out of the office without so much as a look back.

The door slammed loudly behind him.

Rey exhaled heavily, knees feeling suddenly weak.

'He actually quit.' She couldn't believe it. She'd heard the words but hadn't actually believed it.

Hux said something darkly under his breath, before pulling her close in a hug. She accepted with a small squeak, breathing in the scent of his cologne, and the unusually strong smell of cigarette. She said nothing, though, just surrendered to the warmth she was offered. Ashamedly grateful despite his complete neglect of her over the past few days.

When Hux finally released her, she spoke up, voice soft in the stillness of the office. She felt awful for having to ask, to place this imposition on him now.

'Would now be a bad time to ask for time off for exam study?' Hux huffed a small laugh.

'No Rey, it was part of the agreement. I can manage.'

\-----

Kylo was prowling the stage, furious and needing to unleash it. Sweat dripped down his forehead, the lights shining hot as he unleashed on the crowd, bearing his soul to them over the heavy riff of the Knights.

_You bleed me_  
My heart it's tearing and the stains are spreading  
You bleed me  
But the curtains falling, Angels calling for the end. 

They were singing back, swaying and rocking, yelling their voices hoarse back at him.

Kylo Ren was a god and these were his disciples. They worshipped the very ground he stood on, hung on to his every word, flashed their cameras just in the hope that he'd look at them.

His little sheep. 

He spread his arms with a flourish, the showman in him out and on proud display tonight.

And why the fuck shouldn't it be? He deserved this.

Reg was all smiles and Pod winked at him, lights glinting off his bass, before Kylo unleashed the next verse, earning more cheers, more screams. He tried to care about the woman pressed to the front of the stage, looking up at him with big eyes and a bigger chest, but he didn't, found he couldn't. He wasn't after a cheap fuck. The only thing he wanted from these people was their energy, their devotion to him and only him. There was no one else on stage with him, just his voice eliciting this reaction. This haze of pure energy and need.

Reg slapped him on the back as they moved backstage after the gig. 

They stank, the lot of them, a familiar, vaguely comforting mix of grease and sweat and dust.

'Finally back in form, eh?' Reg jostled past him, elbow digging deep into his ribs. Kylo scowled at the drummers back, before letting the rest of his bandmates go first. Their instruments demanded a bit more care than Reg's unwieldy arms and drumsticks. Kylo was happy to give them the space and let the euphoria of his performance settle in his bones for a few moments longer.

Snoke was in the dressing room when Kylo finally joined the rest of his band, his hair dripping, limbs aching from the set. He grabbed a bottle of water and downed it quickly in a couple of gulps, throat soothed instantly by the liquid. 

'You were all quite impressive,' the old man grinned at them. He was dressed in an expensive black suit, diamonds glinting in his cufflinks. 'I am incredibly grateful you decided to sign with my company. You will make a very big name for yourselves very soon. Fame and fortune, I can feel it in my bones! I've done this many times before. You've put your faith in me, as I have with you. You will not let me down.' Kylo turned his back on the dramatics, letting Reg do all the talking. He raked his fingers through his sweat-drenched locks, carefully easing out the knots.

None of it really mattered. The technical side. He didn't care. He was here for the music. For the energy. For the release. Not some shitty old guy promising the world because Reg had his tongue so far up the old guys arse.

He could feel the thrum of adrenaline still pounding through him, gripping him, much as the rage had clung to him a few days ago. He still felt dusty from the giant piss up of a weekend. The energy was spiking at the hint of a headache, pulsing ever so faintly at his temples.

'I have a gig for you this Friday,' Snoke was saying, drawing Kylo's attention back to the hunched figure. 'To celebrate your signing, get more people in to spread the word of The Knights of Ren. How does that sound?'

'Bloody amazing!' Reg was gushing with the vocal agreement and energetic nods of the other three. 

More people to woo and scream and worship him.

That didn't sound like a bad way to spend a Friday night at all.

Kylo grinned.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for your wonderful comments and lovings!  
> *cuddles all of the readers*

Finn stood in the doorway of her room, staring at her.

She tried to ignore him, she really did. But he was staring and she couldn't _study_ with someone staring at her.

'What is it?' She sighed, turning to look at him.

'Study week is next week.' He said, as if that explained everything. Rey sighed again in exasperation.

'Isn't Poe around for you to annoy?'

'Poe is standing expectantly in the kitchen, staring at Finn's sweet behind, waiting for Finn to hurry up and ask if you want to go for drinks tonight.' Poe's voice floated in, causing Finn to wince and Rey to grin. 'Finn is also asking if it's okay if he buys you a few drinks because he feels terrible about what happened last Friday.'

'What, no!' Finn turned and glared at his boyfriend. 'That was you!'

'Poe disagrees, and thinks Finn should shout everyone a few rounds to make up for it.' Rey slammed her text book closed and stretched, back popping as she arched, fingers laced and arms straight over her head.

'Rey thinks it sounds like a great idea after the week she's had.' Because, even though Ben looked like he did nothing, it turned out he actually did a lot. She and Hux had been absolutely swamped with work, forcing Rey onto the phones and onto Ben's computer, doing work she didn't know how to do, answering questions she didn't really know the answer to. In short, she was both looking forward to her study week, and feeling awful for leaving Hux on his own to deal with absolutely _everything_.

'Well Poe thinks Rey and Finn should get ready, because Poe is ready for some free drinks!'

'No!' Finn kept turning between them. 'I'm not buying you drinks! And stop talking about yourselves in third person!' Poe laughed loudly, drowning out Reys chuckles as she slid off her bed and pulled a jumper and scarf out of her wardrobe.

'Rey's ready!' She hollered, slipping past her flabbergasted friend, only to be swept up in a waltz by Poe as he swung her around the kitchen island.

'Let's make him jealous of our love for one another, think that'll get him moving faster?' Poe asked rakishly, dipping her low to the ground as Rey squealed, halfway between protesting and agreeing with the motion.

'I think it'll make him slower! Hurry up Finn!' She goaded, throwing her scarf at him. And then Finn was dashing back to his room to get his jacket and shoes.

Poe twirled her one more time before releasing her.

'We _are_ sorry, you know. Didn't realise that Ben guy didn't know about you and Bossfriend,' Poe offered. Rey shrugged her shoulders, refusing to feel upset by it, despite the pang of regret. Hux had been cool towards her through the week, after hugging her on Monday. Perhaps because they'd been too busy, she tried to tell herself. But it wasn't that. He'd been a little ... hesitant around her. She'd tried to ask him out tonight, but he'd brushed her off with some excuse she couldn't even remember.

'Sorry Pumpkins!' Finn reappeared, keys and wallet in hand, jacket on.

'He _is_ paying!' Poe punched the air before ushering them out of the apartment as quickly as he could.

\-----

Poe and Finn had been pulling faces at each other for at least half an hour and it was exhausting to watch. Rey sipped her whisky in amusement, savouring the drink Finn had been forced to buy her by his overly affectionate boyfriend.

'So, Finn, I noticed the dishes weren't done while Rey and I did the vertical tango in the kitchen,' Poe wriggled his eyebrows suggestively.

'As long as it's not horizontal, I don't care, and it was your turn.' Finn responded. Poe looked the epitome of horrified, mouth open, eyes wide, palms pressed against his heart.

'You take that back! I did them last time, so it's your turn!' Rey giggled as Finn became just as dramatic, if not more so. She could see why Finn pined over the guy when he was on deployment. Poe was incredibly fun, and ridiculously caring, with an easy grin that always reached his eyes.

Someone jostled into Reys back, almost spilling her drink. The girl vanished back into the crowd, not bothering to apologise. Rey huffed in annoyance. The pub was really busy tonight, and it was still filling. The band equipment had been set up, and she could only assume that a decent gig would be on tonight.

'So what are your plans?' Poe was asking her. Rey raised her eyebrows.

'Excuse me?' She had no idea what he was on about, brain scrawling for clues.

'For next year, your final year. Do you know what you're finishing on?' Oh. That old can of worms.

'Not yet.' She smiled apologetically, though she didn't really know who she was apologising to. It only affected her life, not Poe’s, or Finn’s. It didn't matter she was still stressing over what her Major should be, and if she'd even done enough units for it to _be_ her major.

'I can't wait to finish,' Finn gushed. 'No more night shifts.'

'Just working with germ-carrying children,' Rey teased. 'I couldn't do it. Kids are tiring.'

'So is working as a mechanic!' Finn shot back good-naturedly, tapping her arm with his fist. 'But still, no more night shifts!' Rey grinned, but couldn't stop feeling a little bit guilty as she realised she was no longer leaning in that direction at all.

'After working with kids all day, you won't want to come home to any!' Poe carried on the conversation, leaning forward to be heard as the band took to the stage and started to warm up their instruments.

'Lucky I'm gay then!' Finn answered, finishing his drink. Rey didn't miss the look on Poe's face, though. The flash of anxiety that was quickly drowned by that familiar, cocky grin.

'There's always adoption, smart arse,' he said. 'Or you could steal one from work.'

'And get fired? No thank you! I'll keep the germ-friendlies at school and the giant kids at home!' Finn retorted. Rey leant back and watched them quibble, used to the arguments and word-play. In a moment they'd be trying to figure out who made the most noise while they had sex, which Rey was always dragged into as a witness. The answer was always Finn. Always.

But she'd never heard that before, the talk of kids between them. That was new territory, obviously for them, too, judging by Poe's reaction. She and Finn were orphans, so the thought of children wasn't at the forefront of their minds, never had been. Children were too much of an unknown. Hell, she doubted they could even look after a pet which, she realised, was exactly was Finn was saying at that very moment.

'Well then maybe we should _get_ a pet?' Poe suggested enthusiastically. Finn simply stared at him. The humour was seeping out of the conversation now. It was starting to get a little bit too real.

'You're always overseas,' Finn said. 'I'd have to look after it, and Rey.'

'I like animals,' Rey interjected helpfully, taking another sip of whiskey and wishing the burn in her throat would simply engulf her entirely to help her escape. 'Did anyone want another drink?' She hadn't finished hers, but that was beside the point.

'Weren't we talking about me being a school teacher? Why are we talking about animals?' Finn demanded. 'Why don't we talk about how Rey's week has been?' And then two sets of brown eyes were pinning her to her seat, determined not to look at each other.

'Busy.' She offered uselessly. They already knew Ben had quit, and that she was covering for him. There was nothing else to add and she stared back at them helplessly. 'Which one of you was supposed to clean the bathroom?' She asked instead.

'Finn.' Poe said as Finn responded with 'Poe.'

The two men looked at each other for a moment, eyes narrowing.

'Fairly certain I cleaned it, and then Rey cleaned it, which means now you clean it.' Finn pointed accusingly, but the glimmer was back in his eye and Poe presented that dashing smile that always melted Finn's insides. Rey sighed in relief. They were back to harmless, friendly bickering that would lead to a night of Rey blocking her ears with her pillow as Finn was _definitely_ the loudest.

'These guys are really noisy,' Poe said as Rey stood up to get them all another round. Rey shrugged her shoulders, she honestly hadn't been paying attention to the band onstage.

She sauntered up to the bar, slipping between the multitudes of people, trying not to swear in the crush. Getting back with three drinks was going to be tricky. She caught the eye of the bar tender, one who knew her so she didn't have to vocally order, before turning to survey the dingy room. It was definitely filled with fans for the band. They were singing lyrics and dancing and raising their glasses in cheers as the song finished.

'Here.' She looked back and handed over the notes for her order, before maneuvering her way through the throng of sweaty, smelly individuals until she was safely seated with her friends who were now asking her who the better looking of the two of them were.

'Definitely Poe,' Rey answered without hesitation. Finn was dramatically aghast. 'Only because he danced with me.'

'I'll have to dance with you more, then!' Finn declared, standing and offering her his hand. But the music was heavy and pounding and not very conducive to dancing, so he reluctantly sat down, pouting prettily at the two of them.

'Well, I think you're a very attractive specimen in your own right.' Poe announced, seizing Finn and kissing him, much to Rey's delighted laughter. She honestly missed going out with these two. Mostly because it toned down their antics. The passionate kiss unfolding before her would normally end with Rey awkwardly scurrying back to her room before the clothes started coming off.

She looked away, embarrassed, taking in the crowd again. There were so many people, the bar would be raking in the profits tonight. She felt pleased on their behalf, having come some nights with Finn to be one of only a few people ordering a single drink. She glanced at the stage, where so much attention was being directed, and paused.

Her whole body paused. Heart stopping, breath catching, blood freezing, paused.

She had dreamt of the man on stage.

Dreamt of the black pants, the long limbs, those damned hands and fingers currently clutching the microphone, tapping out the rhythm of the song, the eyeliner ... she had dreamt of the man on stage but had never seen him before.

At least, she hadn't until he turned towards her, stage light catching his face and broadcasting his features through the room.

She was staring at the face of Ben Solo.

And that was definitely not jazz.

'Rey?' Finn was following her gaze, then turning back to her. 'You know, I saw that guy here last time, when you and I went out and I ended up talking to Poe.'

'I remember you doing that,' she said through gritted teeth. Because she'd never seen Ben wearing jeans, let alone black eye liner, so how could she dream about Ben in those clothes? Doing those ... things ... to her. With her.

'Yeah, I think he was performing, or something. I saw him with you when I got back.' Poe was watching their conversation with narrowing eyes, because Rey could feel herself not acting normally, could feel her muscles tensing as she slowly connected the sloppily drawn dots.

'With me?' She wanted him to clarify, eyes glued to Finn’s, the only other witness.

'Yeah. He was with you at the table, and then he got up and left and didn't come back. But I remember him being on stage, I recognise the guitarist. He has a nice arse.' Poe smacked him lightly for the comment, but he was still watching Rey. And Rey didn't blame him. Her breathing had almost stopped, blood roaring through her ears, a freight train of stress and panic crashing full tilt into the frozen borders of her brain. She couldn’t blame Poe for watching her so closely as she felt the muscles in her hands lock into half-formed fists. The insane urge to hurt and maim and cry and hide battling for dominance.

'So, you didn't tell me last week that you saw me with Ben at the bar while I was drunk?'

'What?' And then both men were turning to stare at the man on stage, as he strutted and sang and was generally an obnoxious front man, gesturing rudely to someone in the crowd before pointing and winking at someone else.

'That is Ben. Who I met three days _after_ I was at the pub, who gave me a job, and then quit last week after he found out Hux and I slept together.' And it was all so fucking obvious, wasn't it? And Finn was gaping at her, mouth open and moving, but no words were coming out.

'I didn't know.' Finn finally gasped.

'You didn't know.'

'I didn't recognise him!' But Rey had heard enough. She just couldn't be in the building anymore. Not with the music blaring inside her skull, shaking her thoughts and emotions, as she tried to think clearly. She had to think clearly. The air was thick with alcohol and people and smoke and she burst through a side door, into the alley way outside.

She breathed in the crisp air, savouring the icy chill.

Her jacket and scarf were inside, so was her phone and wallet. But she couldn't go back in, not yet.

She knew it wasn't Finn's fault. How was he supposed to remember something like that?

How was he supposed to know she'd dreamt of Ben dressed in those clothes kissing her and touching her. Of pushing her against a wall and ... Rey took another deep breath, trying to calm the turmoil in her mind. Because if Ben ... if they had done _that_ then Ben had hired her thinking ... knowing ...

Rey pressed her back against the brick wall and slid down into the shadows, cradling her head in her hands and let herself simply drift. She didn't want to think about it. Not now. She didn't work with him. He was gone from her life.

At least, he was until the door burst long open after she'd stopped shivering from the cold, her fingers numb.

She recognised him straight away, but he didn't see her. And he was angry at something, she didn't know nor cared what it was about. She simply glared at him, mouth pressing into a thin line as he lashed out at the closed door, swearing as his fist connected with the metal. And then he turned and saw her, freezing.

'Rey.' Her name breathed white into the air from his lips, and then he hissed, face in shadow, back to the entrance of the alleyway. He shook his injured hand and stepped closer to her, uncertain. 'What are you doing here?'

'Could ask you the same thing.' She unfolded herself, rising stiffly, painfully, as her blood began to circulate again, steeping pins and needles through her limbs. Rey crossed her arms over her chest.

'Where's your jacket?' He asked, sounding alarmed, but Rey wasn't buying it.

'When were you going to tell me?' She asked instead. He visibly stiffened. She sniffed in disgust, stepping closer to him so she could see his expression in the gloom. 'Why did you hire me, Ben?' She spat out his name as if it were poison, dripping from her lips.

'I ...'

'You, what?' And then he was suddenly looming over her, face in hers, scowling, dark eyes flashing.

'What do you want me to tell you, Rey? That we banged? Yeah. But it obviously wasn't that memorable for you, huh?' 

He was a giant, hulking presence, all tensed muscles and fly-away hair, trapping her near the wall. His hands clenched and unclenched by his sides as he spoke, as if he were trying not to strike out, trying to release some of the agitation that was clearly flooding through him. It somehow made her angrier, this new, intimidating Ben, so far removed from the man she thought she knew. The one in beige clothes with a quizzical smile, with a seemingly endless supply of paperclips in his desk draw. 

'And it was for you?' She spat back, unable to help herself, taunting him, inexplicably wanting to make him angrier, to make him feel as betrayed as she felt. 

'Yeah, it was.' And those three words were so brutally honest she almost deflated.

'You thought hiring me meant you'd get an easy lay?' She switched tactics instead, still wanting to be angry, needing to be angry because he had known about this. Known and not told her. Was that rape? Could it be considered rape? _Had_ he raped her?! And the anger flared back up tenfold.

'No, I didn't,' he said defensively, but she cut him off.

'So you molest me and think it's okay to just give me a job? Not think I should probably know that before I work with the guy that attacked me?' And then looming Ben became aggressive, his very presence pushing her back against the building wall as he crowded her. His words were as black as the shadows they were hidden by, thick and heavy.

'I would never touch you like that,' he growled.

She could smell the sweat on him, the odour of stage smoke and alcohol. His hair was still plastered to his forehead in wet strands.

'You came to me.' He said, pulling her eyes to his lips. She could almost see the words spilling out. 'For sex, and then for help. I'm paid to help students, so I helped you get a job.'

'For an easy lay.'

'Because I liked you.' He snarled. 'I never approached you like that.'

That sapped out another surge of rage, slowly draining her. He was right, she realised belatedly, the ghost of guilt flickering unwanted in her chest. She stamped it away roughly, ignoring it as determinedly as his admission of liking her, as if that made all of this mess okay.

'So all the times you stared was because you knew. You knew and you never said anything.'

'Neither did Hux.'

Hux.

'What?' She asked, heart freezing solid in her chest. 'What about Hux?' But Ben had stopped talking, was pulling away from her, leaving her frozen in her place. And suddenly she remembered just how cold she was, body trembling.

Ben was stalking away, back to the door, and she was colder again for his sudden absence.

His hand was on the silver doorknob when she tried again.

'Ben ... did ... Hux know?' Her voice was so soft and pathetic, hanging tenuously in the chill of the air. Her mind was racing endlessly forward, trying to process, trying to compute exactly what this meant. Trying to sort out exactly what this fuck up of a situation meant, and if Hux … if Hux had known about her and Ben, about whatever it was that had happened between them … if he had known all along … Those whispered conversations, small smiles, the reassuring pressure of his hand on her knee, the feel of his mouth against her neck, the cheeky arch of his eyebrow as he made fun of Ben being a creep towards her … made fun of Ben staring, of Ben overreacting, of Ben being so awkward around her ...

'Of course he fucking knew. Why do you think I quit?' She had never heard him so hateful, so dark and riled, brimming with something so black and bitter she had no name for it.

As the light of the pub spilled out across his face she could see the glimmer of obsidian eyes, the angry slash of a mouth, dishevelled hair. His free hand was still clenching, unclenching, clenching.  
The door slammed hard, the sound reverberating down the alley way and through her skull, blanketing her once more in darkness.

Somehow everything had just gotten worse.


	17. Chapter 17

The clock in the bottom right-hand corner of his screen read 4:16pm when Hux looked up to the sound of his office door opening.

He'd closed it so people would stop bothering him, and he was about to say as much when he saw Rey.

And then the text he'd gotten from Ben on the weekend suddenly made sense.

_Good luck you fucking idiot._.

Oh.

'Hi.' Rey said, standing beside Ben's empty desk.

'Hi.' Hux turned to face her, ignoring the mountain of paperwork he was supposed to be doing in favour of the girl he'd basically ignored for a week. Ignored because he'd suddenly developed Ben's inability to deal with reality.

'You haven't called.' She said it too softly, her eyes not meeting his. She looked nervous, shoulders hunched, head bowed. Uneasiness coursed through him, because she was clearly here to discuss something that was bothering her. Possibly something more than him ignoring her. A sharp trail of nerves coursed through his limbs and into his gut.

'I know, I apologise.' And he meant it, truly, he just hoped she realised he was telling the truth. 'I've been busy.' The silence stretched out for a long moment. Too long. Hux studied her.

She looked exhausted, drawn, as if she hadn't slept or eaten well, and her red nose looked as if she were coming down with a cold, splotchy and red. He hoped it was a cold and not something more sinister ... like the possibly incredible emotional turmoil that would come with discovering that you'd slept with one co-worker while drunk, and then slept with the other co-worker who had known all along.

Hux suddenly didn't want to be alone in the room with her.

'I don't think I can continue working here.' She said softly, her voice barely a whisper in the strained silence of the room.

'What makes you say that?' He asked, even though he knew the answer. Knew it but had to hear it from her lips. She shuffled uncomfortably, looking down at white-knuckled handles that fiddled with her worn backpack.

'I can't work here.' She said again, impossibly more quiet than before.

'Rey,' he tried, standing to go to her, to hold her or offer some form of comfort. She truly looked awful. The first tear fell, fat down the curve of her cheek. Hux froze.

'I felt something, you know?' Her voice was louder than it had been, startling him. And she was looking him in the eye now. There was sorrow, hurt, yes, but there was something more. Anger, and frustration, simmering and bubbling. He could see it infuse her cheeks pink, hands turning white with how tightly she held herself.

'What do you mean?' His voice was quiet now.

'For you. For helping me. For being nice. I felt something for you.' Each word was stronger, aimed directly at him. Hazel eyes spat fire, scorching across him. 'I trusted in you and showed you in the only way I could. But apparently you didn't feel the same compunction.'

_Good luck you fucking idiot._.

'Ben-'

'Is gone. He is gone and you are here, but really it should be the other way around, shouldn't it?' More tears were falling but she didn't seem to notice, was too involved in impaling him with every word that fell from those kissable lips. And each one dug harder into his skin, piercing through the shields and barriers he'd spent a lifetime constructing. All because of Ben. Ben, Ben, Ben. But mostly because of Hux.

'Rey-'

'No.' She cut him off again. 'I came here to ask you why. Why, Hux? But instead I can't do it. I'm quitting. Thank you for your assistance. I'll try to figure something else out.'

'Rey-'

'No. I'll keep to the payment plan, if that's what you're concerned about. I'll find a job somewhere else, but not here. Not with you. I can't work with _you_. And you know why.'

Everything was slowing down, ears ringing, but he refused to sit, locking his knees in place as he stared down at the firestorm before him. The thundercloud of woman electrifying him to the spot. He hadn't expected this of her, hadn't anticipated the inferno of her anger. Tears, yes, pitiful cries, endless apologies even though it wasn't her fault. But no. Rey was something else, something more. He was discovering it too late, disturbingly on the back foot that the bubbly, enthusiastic Rey had a temper to rival Ben’s, slower to wake, and far more ferocious. If he touched her he fancied he'd be reduced to swirling ash. And he wanted her. Suddenly, irresistibly wanted her and he understood perfectly why Ben had remained so infatuated with her, so on the brink of love. He thought he'd understood, especially after tumbling into her bed. But no. No, this was it, this was what Ben had seen within, the power and determination as her lips twisted into a scowl, shoulders squared, nose raised high. He was beneath her in this, far below the sea she had raised in a swirling frenzy.

'You can't quit,' Hux said, so softly, so pathetically under her scrutiny.

'I think I can.'

'You can't afford to.'

'Hux,' and she said his name so sweetly in that instance, almost purring it. His entire body stiffened in preparation for the barb, the trap that was about to snap around him. 'I am my own damn person, contrary to what you and Ben think. Just because you couldn't find it within yourself as a human being to tell me that I had been potentially raped, doesn’t mean I have to stay here and suffer with you and your lack of conscience.'

'You could have known and just not told me.' He said it so pettily, the mention of rape unsettling. He'd never considered that, never once imagined that interpretation of Ben's story.

Rey laughed. A strangled, sorry sound so departed from the silvery bells that usually ran through the office.

'You know, just like Ben knew, that I didn't remember. That makes you an accomplice.' She was vicious in her righteous anger, and suddenly he feared for not only his physical being, but also his future. A flame burst to life in his chest, a spark catching in her rage, but he kept it close and hidden. He had no right here, not just yet.

'Rey-'

'I won't press charges, Hux, if that's what you're worried about. I'm not interested in that. I just don't want to see you again.' He turned away partially, suddenly searching for the envelope he'd written for her. He found it on his tray and stepped forward with it, glad she wasn't stepping back and shrinking away from him.

'Rey, this is for you.'

'Hush money?' She arched an eyebrow and he had the insane urge to chuckle, smothering the hysteria quickly. Did she think that lowly of him? No, of course she did. 

'Just take it and read it, Rey. Later.'

'You understand, don't you? What you did?' Her eyes were watery and searching, and she was no longer in command of her rage. She was a young woman lost in a world she didn't understand, surrounded by people that had betrayed her. He had known better than that, had seen exactly what kind of world she'd escaped, and he'd mistreated her.

'I understand.' He wanted to hug her, hold her, tell her it would be all okay. But that wasn't his place in the world anymore. He had no place anymore, and his heart ached at the thought.

The envelope was clutched between her hands, trembling in her grasp.

'Goodbye Hux.' He watched as she turned her back on him, shoulders squared, and he felt a void opening.

It didn't matter, he told himself. None of this mattered in the scheme of things. This was a small bump in the road to his inevitable success.

That didn't stop the loneliness that stretched in endless silence before him when she closed the office door behind her.

\-----

'Hey,' Poe sat down gingerly next to her. Rey lifted her feet to accommodate him on the couch. He patted her leg, obviously uncomfortable. She couldn't blame him. He'd been hiding in Finn's room for at least an hour since she'd gotten home. And she hadn't been quiet. Her eyes and throat ached, nose still streaming snot from her crying. She felt empty and used. A husk masquerading as a person.

'Hey Poe.' She whispered, and then, because she didn't know what else to say: 'I'm sorry.'

He held his arms open and she reversed her position on the couch, crawling into his lap and eagerly accepting the cuddle. He didn't seem to care about the mess she was making of his T-shirt. He simply wrapped his arms tightly around her and pressed his face into her hair, breath warm against her scalp.

'Did you want to talk about it?' He asked softly. 'While Finn isn't here, I mean?' She glanced up at him, and there was nothing judgemental, no pity, just a steady concern for the best friend of his boyfriend. An understanding that perhaps Finn's method of healing wasn't what she needed right now, and perhaps he was right. She chewed her lip, indecisive. 'Don't feel pressured,' he assured her, 'it was just an offer.'

Rey buried her face into his chest again, breathing in the scent of deodorant and man.

It was so rare to have Poe to herself, even though when he was around he didn't work. He was a part of her life and she loved him for it. Loved him because he loved Finn.

'It's about the other night.' She finally found herself saying.

'Bossfriend?' The nickname still made her smile, despite what she now knew.

'You won't tell Finn any of this, will you?'

'I understand.' His voice rumbled in his chest and she could feel the shift of muscle under her cheek and hands. He was a solid wall of comfort right now, a solid, non-judgemental wall. He wouldn't give her puppy-dog eyes, or angry tears, or horrified gasps of betrayal and pledges of vengeance. Poe would sit quietly and listen. And then he would let her tell Finn the abridged, Finn-rated version. It was best for everyone that way.

'I ...' and she hesitated, unsure of how to start and where to go. She breathed deeply, hiccupping slightly as her abused diaphragm protested. Poe let her hesitate, one hand rubbing large, soothing circles against her back, infusing warmth through the blanket she was huddled under.

Rey scrunched up her face and took the plunge. It would hurt one way or the other. It was best to get it all out.

She was trying Finn's method of talking it all out again.

'A few weeks ago I apparently got drunk and had sex with a guy in a bar.' Poe had stopped breathing momentarily, though his hand kept moving. 'I ... I don't really remember, like, parts of it I've dreamt of ... but I thought it was a dream, you know?'

'Until Friday.' He breathed.

'Yeah, I ... I got a job at the Uni right after my night out, and the guy that gave me the job ... Ben, he was the one I had sex with, apparently.' The muscles were tensing. She hugged him tighter. 'But I didn't know. They did. They both knew and still Hux ... he and I ... and then Ben quit because he found out about us, and he told me that Hux knew about the drunk sex. Hux knew and he didn't tell me before we slept together. And they both knew I couldn't remember it. They both knew and didn't tell me.' Poe wasn't breathing again. The hand had stopped. His was thrumming with restrained energy, face still pressed against her hair, holding her tightly to him.

'Was it ...' He couldn't say the word, but she shook her head, knowing what he meant.

'The dreams were pretty good.' He huffed a laugh at that, and she smiled against his chest, feeling him resume the soothing circles, relaxing. 'I think they wouldn't have been as nice if it had been ... unwanted.'

'So what now?' He asked into the silence.

'I quit.'

'Okay.' He nodded gently. 'I can cover some of your rent too.' She pulled away from him, staring him in the eye, determination flashing across her face.

'No.' She said firmly. 'Poe, I can pay for myself.' Those brown eyes were so warm and friendly. She understood quite easily how Finn could drown in them. 'I'll get another job. I'll do something. I don't need help.'

'Kid, it isn't a character flaw to ask for help occasionally. You've been through a rough patch, you have finals. You don't have time to look for work right now. Let me cover what you need to pay for now, we'll square it away later. How does that sound?'

'Like no deal at all.' That cocky grin cleaved across his face, sparkling white at her in that devilishly tanned face. Why did he have to be gay and Finn's? Finn had all the luck with the men. Rey glared at him, not really angry with him. She wasn't really angry with Ben either, she found. Not really. She'd tried to be. But she couldn't. Her tears had been all for herself, and all for Hux's betrayal. Because yes, Ben hadn't told her, but Ben hadn't really done anything to her. He'd been nice in his own way. Respectful, albeit in a creepy, silent sort of approach.

'He gave me a letter.' She said suddenly, remembering. Poe frowned at her in confusion, but she was reaching for her bag on the coffee table and pulling it towards her without getting up too much.

The envelope was frayed and worn at the edges, oil stained from her endless fidgeting with it as she'd walked the slow trek home. Rey inhaled deeply, feeling her lungs strain against her ribs, before blowing it noisily out her mouth.

The paper ripped easily and she unfolded the letter. Her eyes skimmed it quickly, heart sinking and then rising into her throat. She was aware of Poe’s eyes on her, the warmth of him comforting, his silence reassuring. He let her sit and mull over the contents, allowing her to slot it all into place within her fractured mind because very little was making sense right now. She huffed and laughed without any scrap of humour.

This was ridiculous.

'Don't tell Finn I quit.' She let her head flop forward, feeling the paper crinkle against her forehead.

'Why not?' Poe asked gently.

'Apparently I'm still employed by the University, I just need to be placed into a new department.' She glanced up at his face, as if he could tell her that this wasn't some elaborate sort of joke.

'Seriously?' He asked instead. She turned her gaze back to rows upon rows of squiggling black ink, reading and rereading.

'Seriously.' She finally breathed as the front door unlocked.

'Hello,' Finn drew the word out, calling loudly. The way he did when he was up to something. Rey and Poe both turned to look over the back of the couch as he pushed his way into the apartment, a box in his grip, held close to his chest.

'Hi.' Poe answered for her, still cradling her close, protectively.

'Everything okay?' Finn asked, obviously catching sight of her splotchy face. Rey smiled weakly, rubbed her hands quickly over her eyes self-consciously.

'Just boy problems,' she waved it away dismissively. Poe squeezed her gently before shifting so he could hang over the back of the couch properly to inspect his uniformed boyfriend.

'What's in the box?' He asked, eyes on the ingredient list that ran down the side. No doubt taken from Finn's place of employment.

'Well,' Finn slipped his bag off his shoulder, taking great pains to keep the box level. 'I was thinking about the, uh ... the other night,' and he glanced nervously at Rey. Rey frowned at him. This felt more like a conversation for the two boys, but she was also dying to know what was in the box, hoping it was enough to distract her from the sudden shit-storm of her own life. She knew he was referring to the pub, to when she'd seen Ben and abandoned them both without another word or message to say she was okay. Selfish, childish, she knew she'd acted harshly, and she'd apologised profusely for it the next day.

'Which part?' Poe prompted as Finn fell into nervous silence.

'About ... kids.' He shifted the box and moved closer to them, forcing Poe to move back as he rested it carefully on the back of the couch, hands holding the sides tightly to keep it balanced. Poe was frowning and Rey didn't blame him. Was there a child in there? A flicker of concern was quickly tempered. No, she told herself, Finn wouldn't abduct a child.

Something in the box shifted.

Rey stared at him in horror.

'What's in the box?' Poe's voice was carefully neutral, a thick eyebrow arched as he maintained constant eye contact with his boyfriend. His whole body was tense as another shuffle came from the cardboard container. Rey placed a hand on his leg in an attempt to comfort him. She wasn't overly fond of surprises, but the military man was infinitely less accommodating unless he was the one on the planning end. He didn't react to the touch. He was too focused and Rey felt bad for him.

'Finn,' she warned in a tone he could never lie to.

'A promise.' The tabs were being opened hurriedly as over-eager chocolate eyes practically melted with hope and nervousness and love.

They heard the mewl before Finn had managed to lift up a tiny white and orange kitten.

Poe gasped sharply.

'Are you serious?'

'Well, I mean, it was abandoned at work, and she doesn't have anywhere else to go, so I thought ... I mean, if it's okay with you guys ... Poe, it could be ours?' Poe was already lurching forward, mouth claiming Finns hungrily as he hauled the darker man over the back of the couch, pinning him.

Rey quickly rescued the kitten so Finn could return the affections.

The small animal sniffed at her, tiny bones so delicate and brittle in her grasp, the fur slightly gritty yet smooth. Rey fell in love with it as deep, amber eyes stared up at her, little ears flicking to the sounds of the men's admiration for one another.

'What are you going to call her?' She asked, prodding at the soft pink pads of the kitten’s paws. It swiped playfully at her, squirming to be set free and explore.

The men pulled themselves apart and stared at her wordlessly.

'What about naming her after your work?' Rey suggested as a small claw sank into the back of her hand, sharp and startling. Rey grimaced, holding the tiny offender up in the air. She somehow twisted and clung onto her wrist.

'Best Burger Ate?' Finn laughed, but Poe seemed to like the idea, his entire face lighting up.

'BB-8! That's perfect! Do you like that, girl?' And Rey quite happily handed over the scratching machine to her new Daddy Poe. The kitten mewed and clambered up over his shoulders, rubbing her face into his cheek, blinking lazily.

'I guess she stays, then.' Rey pushed herself up off the couch, picking up her letter and bag, knowing it was time to make herself scarce. 'Night guys.'

'Night!' Finn said without looking, his hands dipping down Poe's chest to a region she didn't particularly want to see.

'Rey,' Poe called as she neared her bedroom door. Rey glanced over her shoulder at him. A set of amber feline eyes and warm human eyes stared back at her. 'You've got this, okay?'

'Thanks Poe.' She grinned, closing the door behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that pain train just kept on rolling.
> 
> How cute is Finn? Like, seriously. SERIOUSLY.   
> Rey should probably ask him to teach her the ways of resolving shit.


	18. Chapter 18

Rey rolled her shoulders and cracked her neck, feeling the stress and strain of four days of constant exams and study begin to slowly ebb and fade away. The tables around the tree-smattered courtyard were filled with laughter and gossip, the crackle of food wrappers and echo of bag zips, with students buried in the folds of their arms or noses deep in the spines of their study notes. There was a chilled breeze, but the sky was a clear blue and the sun warm. A pleasant winters day to finish her exams on.

'Rey!' She turned and smiled at the sight of Professor Skywalker ambling up to her, an enormous stack of reports tucked under his arm. He was looking as composed as he normally did, bobbing beard, tweed suit, crumbs on his vest and his hair utterly windswept.

'Hi Professor,' she shuffled down the bench slightly so that he could join her. His pile of work thumping beside her bag and binder of essay notes.

'How is everything going?' He asked pleasantly, huffing slightly as he angled towards her.

'Pretty confident I passed everything,' she answered truthfully. The hell that had become her social life had meant she'd buckled down and concentrated on nothing other than her study. It had evidently worked because she was feeling incredibly comfortable with her answers. Not once had she read a question and felt the empty void where the information should have been stored, or the sickening drop of 'I should have studied that'. 

'I don't know why I even need to read your essay, other than to think to myself _well at least someone understood the course work_ ,' her Professor teased, light blue eyes as clear as the sky above them. Rey grinned. It was the best she'd felt for awhile.

'I'm not _that_ great.' Compared to her classmates she was. It wasn't boasting or vanity, simply fact. She was mid-range for all her other courses, but for Professor Skywalker she was definitely top of the class.

'So, please tell me if I'm out of line, Rey, but I heard your department in the Uni is closing down?' Luke asked in his roundabout manner. She arched an eyebrow at that, fingers fiddling with the hem of her jacket as she tried to recall any possible email she'd missed.

'As in my degree?' She prompted, causing him to laugh and shake his head. His beard bobbed lightly.

'No, I meant your workplace. The Uni is closing it down and reassigning the tasks to other departments. Something to do with the department heads dealing with their specific students.'

'Oh ... but Hux-' She couldn't help but ask, even though she utterly didn't care about him. Because he'd lied to her and she was fairly certain you weren’t supposed to feel anything for the person who had done that to you.

'He resigned on Monday night. There was a memo about it, in amongst all the cut backs and course changes. I guess that settled the argument about keeping that section running, seeing as both workers just quit.' He was watching her closely. Rey chewed her lip nervously. 'So it seems like you don't have an office to really go back to. You're a bright and clever girl, Rey.'

'Thanks.' Her words felt hollow as once again she stared into the very possible void of unemployment. Hux had given her the letter, but would that mean anything now?

'Work in my department,' the Professor was saying, drawing her attention back to him.

'Excuse me?'

'You could be my assistant, help me with my lessons. You're very good with the language, with the theories and critiques, you'd be a monumental asset. And there's a magazine I'd love you to think about writing for.'

'Writing for a magazine?'

'It's a small, monthly magazine the University puts out. I help run it. Just small things on certain readings, opinion pieces, any new research or books to recommend. That sort of thing. I'd love for you to write critically, though, maybe use it as the first stepping stone in building a literary name for yourself.'

'A literary name ...' She stared wide-eyed at him, completely unable to form any sort of sentence structure, thought or opinion. Work in the English Department? Help the Professor? Write for a _Magazine_? She shook her head slowly in disbelief.

'You don't have to, of course, it's just a recommendation. You may not even decide to major in English, but you're talented in it. And you'd be a good tutor, as well.'

'What? Tutoring? I can't tutor people!' Professor Skywalker laughed at her panicked words, his hands running down the edge of papers, a crooked grin wrinkling his face. He was so calm in the face of her instant nerves. She was fairly sure her eyes had grown to three times their normal size, her mouth opening and closing like a fish as she tried to imagine herself guiding people, teaching them. 

'Rey, you carry half of the tutorial conversations as it is. You're a natural. You'll be brilliant. Give it a go! There's a make-up class running through the holidays. Not many students, I'll be there to assist. You'd be brilliant at you. I can teach you how to teach them.'

It was an incredibly tempting offer. A teacher. She'd never once considered it, even with it being Finn's future profession. English and tutoring and writing for a publication ... all so far removed from being elbow deep in engine grease. It was so ... academic and professional. A huge step up. Could she really do it?

'I could ... try ... ' She decided hesitantly.

'Oh, don't decide right now! Don't be brash about it. Go home, think about it, and then let me know! I'd start you off lightly; we can go through some of these exams, I'll let you look at my course notes, run through the syllabus and programme ... it'll take time but I have no doubt you'll pick it up in a heartbeat! And I need to snap you up before another department does. I hear you're brilliant at filing and, well ... I'm not really.'

\-----

Hux smoothed his hands down the front of his suit. His tie was already in place, knot perfect, tie pin gleaming. The lines of his outfit were crisp and clean, the colour a perfectly acceptable charcoal grey, business shirt a lighter shade. His shoes gleamed with polish, laces tied into even bows.

He inhaled the familiar scents of sterile metal, of a mixture of coffee blends and floral perfumes. The artificial hint of recycled air, the hint of moulding papers. The receptionist was talking quietly to the security officer, her blonde head turned away from him, not that it mattered. He already had his pass key and didn't need to sign in.

He'd been here before, many a time.

Now he was here to stay.

'Junior.' His father greeted after the painfully slow elevator trip up to the top floor.

The office was spacious, with views out over the city. The world below gleamed and rushed about in silent splendour. The glass was thick, the room soundproofed. The walls were lined with shelving units covered in books and photographs of business conquests and models. A small image on Brendon Hux Seniors desk was the only indication that he had a family. A golden framed picture of A straight-backed man with cold blue eyes and a flame of red hair; a blonde, green eyed woman with her lips quirked into the semblance of a smile, and a young boy that looked like the both of them, his face carefully blank. One of many family similar portraits that had adorned the family home.

'Hello, Father,' Hux greeted coolly, not wanting to appear excited at his changing prospects. Calm detachment was the way to go. He'd learnt from the best.

'I'm glad you were so amenable to the change.' His Father said, rising from behind his ornate desk.

'Of course.'

'I understand you would have been late to your ... last position on Monday. But I am grateful none-the-less. We needed the vacancy filled, and it would be preferable for you to be working within the environment again to solidify your position on the Board, once an opening occurs.'

'I understand completely.' Hux agreed, suppressing the smile, the feeling of hot glee flooding through his chest. The phone call from his father had been a blessing, offering him a job that paid so much more than the University, and one that would help his standing with the Members of the Board. Ben quitting had been a bit of a blow: the rage, the actual physicality of it. It had all been quite unseemly, though not wholly undeserved.

Hux watched as his father leafed through a couple of forms that needed to be signed.

Hux had deserved the punches. He knew what Ben was like, he just hadn't expected him to find out so quickly. Not until Rey was completely invested in him, perhaps. That may have been the ultimate goal in the end. Those bright hazel eyes, her dazzling smile and sunny disposition. That stubborn streak that hid such horrible insecurities. And perhaps she would have become invested in him, until Hux had shut down completely and blocked her out. A rookie error, a foolish move typical of Ben himself. Perhaps the oaf had rubbed off on him, instilling bad habits and manners. The thought irked Hux.

Ben. The idiot with issues a mile long, and then some. Running from who knew what to who knew where, ever at war with himself and his own expectations. Hux had tried endlessly to make Ben follow his own path. Much like Hux was, standing here in the office of his father, being handed employment forms that almost guaranteed him the dream position. A few years of hard work and it would all pay off. Was it that hard for Ben to put his foot down and take what he wanted?

Hux had spent so many years coddling the bigger man, trying to steer him down the right path, guide him on the right course. Hux had been the one to talk him into joining a band, had been the one to talk him into moving out into his own place. Hux had been the one to convince Ben that it was okay for things to not always go the way you planned, but to take control and do with it what you could. Of course, in true Ben fashion, Ben hadn't really managed the last half. He seemed to like floundering, head barely above water. Perhaps it was good the band had been signed. Perhaps that would give Ben the last little push to actually make something of his damn self.

So was it so damned bad that Hux had finally broken and decided that one of the _hundreds_ of things Ben had been floundering on was something he wanted for himself? Ben wasn't going to act, had whinged and moaned about it endlessly while Rey was in class and out of the office. Was it such an issue that Hux had decided that he wasn't going to wait for something that was _never_ going to be acted on? He knew Ben, probably better than Ben knew himself, and he knew there was no way the man was going to act on his infatuation. He'd just sit on the sideline and stare and dream and sigh. And the girl had flirted with Hux, had asked Hux for help, had come to Hux, not Ben. Hux. What was wrong with that?

'I'll show you to your office.' Hux Senior said after Hux Junior had signed the appropriate forms.

The greying man led him back towards the elevator, heading down a few levels. That was fine. Hux would be back at the top soon enough.

Hux's office was a decent size, though he'd have to replace that living plant in the corner for a fake one at some point. He was horrible at looking after plants.

'This is Phasma, she will be working with you and coordinating with other companies on your behalf.' Hux turned to look into the office his father was gesturing at, situated across from his. The woman inside was standing. Incredibly tall, blonde and stunning. Hux shook her hand firmly, glad to find it returned equally. Phasma looked like a hard worker, and that was all he cared about. Not her incredible legs, or bust that was basically eye-level for him. Unlike other men, Hux was determined to focus on ability, not aesthetics. He was here to succeed, and he needed the best to do that.

'Lovely to meet you,' she purred, eyebrow arching as she studied him.

'Likewise,' Hux said easily, 'I look forward to working with you.'

'Phasma is a ball-buster.' Hux heard a hint of pride in the CEO's tone, and a spark of jealousy jabbed him in the chest. 'You wouldn't be able to find better. Just don't let her trample you. She gets ideas in her head, sometimes.'

'I promise that's not an issue,' she said lightly with a predatory smile. 'We have a bit of a workload at the moment, so if you're quite ready, we can dive right in.'

Hux inclined his head slightly.

'At your earliest convenience.' He allowed himself a small, satisfactory smile.

\-----

They were all staring up at him with starry eyes and grasping hands. Chests heaving, hands grabbing, hips swaying, sweat pouring.

This was it.

This was everything.

The right choice.

It was a bigger venue, almost packed out. The bar churning drink after drink, filling the air with the sickly sweet stench of mixers over the thicker brew of ale. He breathed it in deep and belted out the chorus, eyes snagged by one of the many in the crowd. She was jumping more vigorously, hips swaying, completely lost to it all.

Toby caught his eye and winked, predatory grin curving across his mouth, because he'd seen her too.  
Kylo wasn't going to be outdone. Not like hell. Not anymore.

As Reg pounded out the beat, almost swallowed by the thick bass of Pod, Kylo stripped himself of his leather jacket, slamming it onto the stage, just out of reach of prying fingers.

It wasn't just the adrenaline of the music, or the hum of alcohol in his veins. Snoke had told them they could have it all, so Kylo was going to have it all.

He pulled off his shirt, half soaked with sweat. The silver chain around his neck slapped against his bare chest as his skin prickled at the air.

The screams were worth it.

He flexed for show, feeling his abdominals tense and loosen, muscles shifting and sliding into place, before he seized the mic off the stand and spun on the spot, singing to the heavens and his fans. His hair clung to his face in long wet strands, and he made a quick mental note to braid it next time. He didn't want the distraction, didn't want anything detracting from this feeling of superiority and other and just ... he was sex on stage and he fucking knew it. Knew it when he caught the eye of the woman in the crowd and watched her tanned skin flush. Knew it by the way she mouthed the words with star-struck rapture, her eyes not leaving him. Not even when Adam tore into his solo, springing up onto his amp, despite the panicked gesture of the guy they'd hired as a roadie. Her eyes were for him alone, helpless to stop raking up and down his body.

This was how it should be.

He could have anything now.

Do anything now.

Fuck the past, live for the present. Isn't that what Reg always said? He flashed a dazzling smile and tossed the shirt towards her. When a man grabbed it he almost cut the song off, snarling that it was for the girl. It was for her and she slipped it worshipfully over her head when it was awkwardly handed over.

It wasn't until her bare chest was pressed against his, her thighs locked around his waist, her mouth trailing kisses along sweat-slicked skin that he thought of Rey. Except this girl wasn't intoxicated, just music-drunk and eager. But she twisted her hips and the thought flitted away in an instant until it was the two of them ignoring the pounding of his band mates on the dressing room door.

He let her keep the shirt when he let her out some time later.

Only Pod was still hanging around by the door, the others probably retreated to the bar and the promise of picking up. He didn't drink as much as the others, and he looked exhausted.

'Recording?' Kylo asked as Pod slipped in without a question. He dumped his bass back in the case, locking the clasps on the sturdy frame, before hauling off his stage clothes for his more comfortable track suit and hoodie. Kylo decided a jumper was probably a good idea, as well.

'It's so hard,' Pod groused into the dimly lit room, studiously avoiding the couch, as if he had seen Kylo's strenuous antics with the fan girl, instead of just hearing it through the door.

'You're great on stage,' Kylo said as he found his bag and pulled out his coat, zipping it up. 'What's so different about doing it in front of a mic? We're all together, it's like rehearsal.' They'd spent the past week laying tracks for Snoke. It was easy for Reg, Adam and Kylo, Toby occasionally forgot where he was, but Pod seemed terrified of the sound-proofed room, the professional equipment and the disembodied voice telling them to retake, to do it better, to try again, to pull your fucking socks up Pod.

'I'll do my best.' He promised, and it struck Kylo then that Pod was the youngest of them all. Probably close to Rey's age, maybe only just older. A kid with no idea how he'd gotten this far, from a family of no one. Kylo grinned at him reassuringly.

'How about we get out there and drink ourselves blind? No, I know what you're about to say. Perhaps a quick lay will loosen you up for tomorrow’s recording?' Pod tried for the same grin, but failed. He wasn't as charismatic, preferred more to be a bit of a step back. Kylo slung his arm around his bandmate's shoulder. 'Come on, kid. You and me. You can't fail.'

It felt like failing when Kylo rolled off a stranger’s couch the next morning and untangled Pod from the dark-haired beauty he'd been sleeping with. His head throbbed, tongue furry, and his shoulder ached strangely like he'd fallen on it at some stage. Truthfully, he couldn't remember shit. On the plus side, Pod was a roaring success for the rest of the day, after an egg roll and a huge cup of black coffee. Snoke was thrilled with the change and would not stop spouting off about a promo tour and record signings and how they would be getting a track on the radio. Kylo leant against a wall through the telling and basked in it all.

Snoke wasn't bothering him as much anymore. He was out to make them big, so who cared if he had a vested interest in the cut he was going to get? It'd just make the old guy more determined to help them succeed. The more they succeeded, the bigger audiences Kylo could play in front of, the more girls he could pull, and eventually, perhaps, he could live elsewhere. Perhaps he'd do even better than Hux.

Be more successful, more powerful.

Be better.

He liked the sound of that.

He didn't care that he had to crawl in the next morning at dawn, eyes barely open, skull still thick with alcohol after another boozey night with his band. He didn't care that Snoke was pushing them into longer rehearsals. He didn't care that Reg was still telling them what to do, and spent hours locked in private conversations with Snoke when he, Kylo, should have been. The front man, the singer, the voice and face of the band.

But he didn't.

He just wanted to be on the stage and be Kylo.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big chapter today, lots of things happen!  
> Enjoy my lovelies!

The months of bliss should have been some indication, she thought, standing in the kitchen, watching Finn break down, as the letter crumpled in her closing fist.

Winter had passed them all by in a swirl of harsh winds and driving rain. But the indoors were warm and cosy. The laughter had been long and loud. Finn and Poe in an eternal dance of bliss and love, swirling around the apartment, whisking each other away on dates. Finn had finally given in on his battle with BB-8. They regarded each other with a cautious understanding that Poe was equally theirs, and both of them wanted his full attention. Their jealousy had been an endless source of amusement for Poe and Rey.

She had passed all of her courses with flying colours, setting her comfortably on track for her final year. One more year before she'd be set loose into the big, wide world. With a degree majoring in English. Her articles for the magazine had been fun, and Luke --because Professor Skywalker had asked her to call him Luke -- had been impressed with her. He'd been impressed with her dedication and work ethic, and she felt like she'd thrived under it. The tutoring had been fun, the students far more receptive to someone their own age than a badgery old Professor with amusing facial hair.

All of the money she wasn't using on paying rent and food was being channelled into her debt, whittling it down steadily. A huge chunk had already fallen off, sinking into the nether regions of obscurity, never to be heard of again.

Months of bliss and joy, of hard work and determination, all culminated in this very moment.

In a letter from the University.

In a conversation between Finn and Poe.

Rey stared blearily at her best friend, at an utter and complete loss at what to do.

He had rejected Poe, and the man was hiding in her room, behind a closed door with BB-8. And so it was just Rey and Finn in absolute misery, trapped together.

'He'll be back.' She finally managed to say once his sobs had petered out to sad hiccups and sniffles.

'I didn't think he'd be gone so soon,' was the pathetic response, slobbered and gasped. She rounded the island counter and squatted before him.

'Finn, he's coming back. It'll be okay. He loves you and you love him. And it won't be as long as the last deployment?' She had no idea how to console him. They'd played this routine out many times before, ever since Finn had brought home a young pilot, already in love from their meeting barely an hour earlier. Every time Poe was deployed they played out this scenario. Finn inconsolable. Rey an awkward bystander. Usually they would spend the night eating ice cream and watching movies, but Rey ... she couldn't. And Poe couldn't spend his whole night sitting awkwardly on her bed, pretending to read her physics textbook. And then there was the letter. The damned letter.

'What is it?' Finn rubbed at his face and stared up at her blearily.

'What?' She asked and he gestured vaguely to her hand. 'No, we should talk out Poe going. You know it's his job, Finn. And he's good at it. He'll return safely, he always does. And this time he's only doing supply runs, not air strikes! He'll be a lot safer. And you have BB-8 now!'

'She likes you more than she likes me.'

'But without Poe you'll be able to bond with her!' Rey didn't bother to deny Finn's statement. 'Maybe you'll be the favourite by the time Poe comes back!' The thought made him smile, a weak little thing, but a smile none-the-less. Rey rubbed his arm in an attempt at consoling him.

'And the letter?' He asked again, undeterred.

'It's not important.'

'You're upset.' That almost made her laugh.

'Finn, I think you're upset.'

'I am,' he agreed, 'and so are you. You have your angry face on, which means you're upset. So what's the letter about?' She huffed and sat fully on the floor, their legs tangling together as she splayed the letter flat on the floor, fingers running over the unintentional creases and squiggles of black ink.  
'I don't really have a job anymore.' She sighed. That sigh was as upset as she'd let herself be. She hated crying, hated the weakness of it.

'Poe!' Finn yelled.

Poe was out the door bedroom in an instant, BB-8 draped around his shoulders like a scarf. She meowed as soon as she saw Rey, but didn't look inclined to move.

'What's wrong?' Poe demanded instantly, eyes flitting uncertainly between the two of them. Rey looked him in the eye, daring him to contradict what she was about to say.

'I don't need help. I'm losing my job, but I'll be okay.'

'Oh, Sunshine,' Finn groaned.

'The letter goes on about cutbacks and I'm losing my administrative and teaching positions. But I'll find a job somewhere else. It'll be fine. I can do this.' She grinned at the two of them, determined to believe in herself. She refused to think of how shitty the past year had been, about how she'd lost two jobs already. No, she would get a new job, finish her degree, keep up her writing, try to find another publication to write for as well, perhaps.

Poe joined them on the floor, pulling them both into his sides so he could wrap his arms around them.

'You guys are absolutely hopeless without me, you know. I'm going to make sure BB-8 keeps on eye on the _both_ of you.'

\-----

Luke wasn't overly surprised when Rey placed the letter in front of him when she saw him next.  
He looked incredibly tired, face gaunt, bags under his eyes. His tie was slightly crumpled and his hair frizzier than normal.

'I know.' He said. 'I got the same letter.'

He withdrew a piece of paper in far worse condition than hers, as if it had been folded and refolded numerous times. Subject to nervous hands constant fiddling with it.

'They're shutting down my branch of the department, Rey. I want to help you, I really do, but I can't even help myself. They're pushing for my retirement. No other University will have me. My publication will be over as well.' That made her frown.

'The magazine?' He nodded.

'It was mine, not the University's. I pushed the idea through, made it happen. They'll cancel it to save costs, so I can't even give you that as a consolation.' He heaved a heavy sigh.

'And my courses with you for the next semester?' She pressed, fear spiking through her at the idea that her degree would be delayed.

'Cancelled. You'll be pushed into another English course, I believe. I'm really sorry Rey. I feel horrible. I coerced you into following my footsteps, and the rug's just been wrenched from beneath us. At the very least we still have two weeks remaining to us.'

She sank into the seat opposite him and they stared at one another for a long time. Two dejected academics in the dim lighting of his office, trapped in their own thoughts.

\-----

The next two weeks were a whirlwind of activity.

Rey applied for as many jobs as she could find, desperately hoping that something somewhere would catch. She helped Luke mark the remainder of his reports and enter the details in the system. She helped him file the paperwork necessary for their termination and then helped him slowly dismantle his office. They labelled and sorted everything into order, packing everything into boxes and slowly shifting them to his house in his beat up old station wagon during staff hours. The University could pay them to move, Luke had announced one morning. And so they'd done just that. Poe had left the apartment quickly, gifting them his entire month's rent plus utilities. He'd wisely departed while Finn was at work and BB-8 was napping, so Rey had been the one to walk him and his duffel bag to the cab. That meant Finn had been inconsolable for quite a few days, leaving text and voice messages on Poe's phone, even though he knew the man would be in transit and uncontactable. Still, Rey had pulled back the pieces and restored him back to his former, albeit slightly duller, self.

But two weeks were up and Rey had no nibbles on her resume, no job, rent due and a new semester of sub-par courses about to start.

Her positivity was seriously waning and she was starting to wonder if maybe she needed to go get drunk again and hopefully hook up with someone in a position to employ her.

It had worked so _well_ last time, regardless of how unintentional it had been.

'Rey speaking,' she picked up on the second ring, phone fortunately beside her when it had started ringing, instead of on the other side of the room like it normally was.

'Hello Rey, my name is Mitaka, I'm calling in regards to a resume you sent us. I'd love to schedule an interview with you at your earliest convenience.' His words made her heart stop and breath catch. Her eye's widened, unseeing as she stared at the desk at the end of her bed.

'I'm available at your earliest convenience.' She finally breathed, almost a whisper.

'This afternoon, then?' He offered a nervous laugh, almost a cough through the phone.

'Certainly, Sir! Name a time and I'll be there!'

\-----

The building was huge, an endless stretch of metal and glass twinkling in the evening light. Blue sky reflected in the numerous panes, creating a never ending scope of scudding clouds.

Rey took a deep breath, nervously smoothing down the front of her jacket. She didn't really have 'business clothes', so she hoped the black leggings she wore, and the simple shirt, would be enough. They didn't have holes, and the hems weren't frayed. It was the best she could do on short notice. She couldn't afford anything else.

The Receptionist was immaculate, hair smooth and shiny in a tidy bun, pencil skirt creaseless and jacket form fitting as she rose and walked in stilettos towards a series of gates. She let Rey in with a swipe of a card from a lanyard around her neck and instructed Rey to go to level twelve. Rey nodded stiffly and offered the warmest thanks she could.

She was woefully underdressed. This was going to be awful.

The ride up was slow and silent. No trilling music to distract her nerves with. Just incredibly reflective walls, bouncing back her pathetically dressed self, her pale face, wide eyes and the nervous tapping of her fingers against her shoulder bag.

Bad. Bad. Bad.

'Rey?' A short, dark haired man asked as the doors slid open with a soft _ding_. He was well dressed in a crisp black suit and shiny shoes. Rey felt her heart plummet into her stomach.

'That's me!' She said instead, plastering a big smile onto her face, hoping no cracks were showing. All she could hope for was that this job would have her tucked in some cupboard sized office so no one would see her, therefore requiring no fancy clothes or sky-scraper heels. Honestly, she couldn't even remember applying for this job in particular, she'd applied to so many since she'd received her letter.

'If you'd follow me, please?' He sounded almost nervous as he lead her down a brightly lit hallway and into an equally well lit conference room. Pot plants sat in the corners, and large table gracing the centre of the room, surrounded by uncomfortable looking chairs. 'Please, have a seat.' She took the one he gestured to. 'My name is Dopheld Mitaka, I am in charge of HR. We'll have two more people joining us in a moment, they're just finishing up a meeting. Now, Rey, I see you've had administrative experience before?'

Rey dove headfirst into the conversation, focusing on how best to answer every single thing he asked.

They didn't get very far before Mitaka was leaning back and smiling in relief.

'Ah, Phasma, welcome. Sir,' Rey turned and felt the world stop.

'Oh.' She stared at Hux in horror and dismay. Her only consolation was that he was doing very much likewise.

Not for the first time, Rey wondered if her life was just some giant, cosmic joke.

Hux recovered himself faster, face smoothing over as he joined his colleagues opposite her, their hands resting atop the wooden surface of the table, each with a copy of her resume. The tall blonde was reading through it, skimming over her details. Hux just sat and stared at her. It was incredibly unnerving.

Rey twisted her hands in her lap.

'What happened to your job in the University?' Hux asked before Mitaka could take control of the interview again.

'Course and cost cut-backs. They laid off my Professor, too.' His brows creased slightly into a frown.  
'They couldn't find another position for you?' She shook her head sullenly.

'They didn't offer. They sent me a letter.' She didn't have it on her, and it wasn't really any of his business in the first place. A small part of her was glad that he was okay, though. He looked healthy, and he looked like he was comfortable here. She hated that small part of herself.

'We can make this work around your class schedule.'

'I'm sorry, what?' Had she really misheard him? His colleagues were staring at him in confusion, as well. At least it wasn't just her.

'If you work here. You don't need to work full hours so you can complete your course. We can make it work.'

'What ... I'd be working under you again?'

' _Again_?' The woman, Phasma, finally spoke up, a frown marring her face. Rey glanced at her for a moment, before settling back on Hux. Because this felt eerily familiar. It sat heavily in her chest, thick and black and toxic.

'It's a good paycheck, a lot better than the University paid, and you should be able to work off the debt faster that way. Let you finish your study stress-free.'

'Why?' She said it so softly, so emotionlessly despite the turmoil swirling internally. She couldn't understand it. This man was trying to help her, again, after what he'd done. As some sort of recompense? To make up for what he'd done?

'You're a solid worker. F.O. would be foolish to turn you away.' He countered easily. 'You're always on time, polite to staff and customers, very clean, and you're attention to detail is faultless.'

Mitaka was staring at his hands, completely checked out of the discussion. Phasma was watching them closely, eyes not missing a beat.

'I don't know.' She exhaled heavily. 'Are you actually offering me the job?'

'Yes.' He spoke quickly, before Phasma or Mitaka could respond. 'I can give you the night to consider, if you'd like?' She stared at him, trying to read him. But Hux had closed off, his face impassive. He was saying all the right things ... but he had once before as well ...

'And, sorry ... what exactly is the role?' Hux's eyebrows rose ever so slightly in surprise. 'I applied for a lot.' She refused to mention that this was the first call back she'd received.

'Administration for myself and Phasma. And some minor work as a PA. For me. Only minor, though, calendar keeping, mostly.' So basically back to the same old routine.

She chewed her lip as she thought, trying to consider the pros and cons.

Pro: She already knew Hux was not to be trusted. She knew he was an arse. She knew how to do the work. She knew that'd she'd earn a fair bit.

Con: She'd be working under Hux again. Hux could not be trusted. Hux was an arse.

She scratched her forehead and tried to think of any other good reason. If he was willing to let her keep studying _and_ pay her more ... and they had been the only people to get back to her ...

'I'll do it.' She wouldn't second guess herself. She was going to do the job and do it well. It was only for a year, until she finished her degree. Then she could be up and out with a great resume and never have to look at the damned redhead ever again. She'd just have to remember to take everything he said with a grain of salt, and besides, she'd be working for the impossibly tall Phasma woman as well.

She'd survived Plutt.

She could survive working for the First Order.

\-----

Hux stared at his hands as Rey left with Mitaka to sign employment forms and take a brief tour around the building and her future desk. She was asking about clothing standards as they shut the door to the conference room.

'What was _that_?' Phasma rounded on him the instant the two had vanished from sight.

'What was what?' He asked stiffly.

'Did you sleep with her once? I have never seen you more desperate.'

'You've only known me for a few months,' he retorted, a small frown drawing across his face, his stare narrowing into a glare as he studied his cuticles. He had no reasonable explanation for his actions. 'She used to work under me at the University.'

'Under you. I'll bet.' Phasma scoffed, pushing herself up from the desk, gathering her folder. Hux lifted his gaze to glare at her back.

'She was very dedicated to the job. I meant what I said. She has a good work ethic. You'll see. She's working for you, as well.'

'Is she?' Phasma waited for him to stand. 'I don't recall getting a word in, so I guess I'll just have to cross my fingers and hope she isn't a monumental failure. Daddy dearest wouldn't be too pleased.'

'Daddy dearest doesn't have a say in who I chose as my PA.' Hux sniped back. He knew she didn't mean it. The fact he was the CEO's son hadn't meant a damned thing to her. He'd managed to prove himself on a fast-paced deal within the first fortnight, earning her respect. That didn't stop her from trying to bait him though. As of yet she hadn't succeeded.

'He will if she's awful at answering phones, sorting mail and filing things correctly.' Phasma flashed him a dazzling grin, all cruel humour and wicked charm.

'If she was, which I know she isn't, I'd cut her loose before daddy dearest caught a whiff.'

'That's my boy.' Phasma held the door open with an exaggerated bow. 'Now, how about you buy me some lunch?'

\-----

Finn would not stop squealing on the other end of the line.

Rey held the phone at arm's length and waited.

She stood at the bus stop, shivering under her coat. The leggings were thin and the wind had picked up. There was still a sharp winter bite to the air, despite the tentative budding in the trees and the growing abundance of animal life.

'I'm so happy! We need to go for drinks! Happy drinks! I'm finishing in a couple of hours, why don't you meet me at a bar near here?' She mulled over the prospect, trying to think of a place.

'Yeah, the one with the good burgers?' She finally asked.

'I work at a place with good burgers.'

'Burgers and beer. Burgers and beer!' She laughed as she clarified. He was being obstinate on purpose.

'Sounds good, Sunshine! Oh, I'm so excited for you!' And then he had to hang up before his boss could tell him to stop making so much noise.

Rey grinned at nothing in particular. Finn usually made her feel like that. Despite all the bad in both of their lives, he was such a reassuring generator of right. And yes, it was great that she had a job. Just because she now worked for her old boss who she'd slept with under the impression that they both had feelings for one another, only to find out that he had lied to her about something slightly important, and then ignored her afterwards, it was fine. Nothing could go wrong. She would go in each day, act professional, do her job, and go home to Finn and BB-8. She would be able to afford food, and rent, and electricity and water, she could keep studying and pay back her loan. No, she could definitely do this. She was nineteen and she could be an adult.

Rey nodded firmly to herself as the bus pulled up to the stop.

She watched the world blur into a series of intersections and business buildings, homes and alleyways, cars and trucks and stores and markets, people and pets, children and bicycles. The sun was setting slowly to the west, raking pink and purple fingers through the darkening sky.

The tour had taken a while, and she'd decided she liked Mitaka. He was painfully awkward and shy, stuttering occasionally, but he meant well and he'd showed her all the bathrooms, the break room, her new desk, Hux and Phasma's offices. He'd found all the paperwork she needed to sign and even had an identity card printed for her on the spot. It was tucked safely into her bag right now, ready to go with her next Monday when she started.

One weekend and then it was time to knuckle down and make sure this didn't fall apart either.

She was sick of having everything just fall apart.

She found the bar easily, making sure to walk slowly past Best Burger Ate to wave at Finn through the big store windows. It was fairly quiet inside, so he had spotted her quickly and they'd spent a few minutes pulling faces and making rude gestures before his Boss caught on and Finn got in trouble. The bar was a tidy little establishment. Netting hung from the ceiling, entwined with flickering golden fairy lights. The walls were exposed brick, layered with tasteful graffiti art. The board above the bar was a myriad of warm colours, twisting into images of the food menu.

Finn and Rey came here occasionally. It was a little further away from their place, so it wasn't a regular haunt, but it was up there on the list of good plus cheap food. The staff smiled as she entered, and she waved in response before finding a table against a wall and making herself comfortable. Finn would only be an hour or so, and it went fairly quickly as Rey sank into the text book she'd brought to read on the bus.

It wasn't until Finn was sliding a drink in front of her that she even realised he was there.

'So!' He said after they'd hugged. 'Tell me about this fantastic new job!'

\-----

'Ready?' Reg asked, almost vibrating with excitement, muscles tense from something other than just the adrenaline that was coursing through everyone elses veins.

Kylo joined the band with an exuberant clinking of glasses. Beer, vodka and rum sloshed against each other and they cheered.

Three months of touring, of recording and rehearsing and writing. Like some kind of magical whirlwind of sex and alcohol and just pure, blinding devotion. Snoke was their god and they worshipped the masterful man. He kept them in line, kept them in order and rocking up to where they needed to be. He gave them girls and money, gave them parties, gave them transport and new equipment, new clothes to flesh out their style.

On stage Kylo was the one to be worshipped, the god of vocals and performance, but behind the scenes? He slid it all towards the old man. It was all his for the taking, for the reaping. Signing with Snoke had been the best choice. The only choice.

'Alright, Knights of Ren!' Reg had them chug their choice of poison and Kylo knocked his beer back in three big gulps. The buzz felt good and they were wired, ready to go, feet tapping, hands jiggling. Blood roared through his head and he was grateful to the nameless blonde an hour earlier who'd sapped away the excess jitters. Reg would tear him a new one if he acted like that again, actually hauling up a girl and snogging her on stage. Snoke had liked it, though. He'd been there for that show and been fucking delighted with Kylo's antics. That had made Reg shut up for a bit. Whatever Snoke liked, Reg liked.

Reg and Pod headed up first, eager to start the bass notes rolling as Toby and Adam had another shot each. They winked at one another and the wrapped their arms around Kylo's torso. The three strutted out onto stage, the guitarists separating for their instruments as Kylo snagged the mic and began his sweet talking and introduction.

It was easy to do, a wink here, a cheeky grin there. Boyfriends didn't worry him. He was 6 foot and then some, and all muscle on clear display under the jacket. No, he could pick anyone from the crowd and have her face down and arse up in an instant. Perhaps the one in the backless shirt, she looked like she'd be a bit of fun. He purred the first half of the song to her, and she ate it up without question, all fuck me eyes and parted lips, drawn closer and closer to the front of the stage. He could feel Reg's death stare, but Kylo wasn't going to do her on the stage. Hell no. He had a show to perform and more than one delicate little lady to visually undress.

Sweat poured down their bodies as they moved and played and sang. Pod was in the zone, his shyness and insecurities having melted away under Kylo's support. Adam and Toby were pressed against each other, naked backs holding their weights as they whipped out solos and heavy rhythmic riffs. It was all so good. So perfect. Just how it was all supposed to be.

'Fucking cheer, won't ya?' Kylo incited their fan base as they entered their second set on stage. And they were a fan base. He recognised a lot of faces. Saw them quite often. They wore shirts with their band name, badges clipped to their bag straps, patches on vests. It was incredibly surreal and everything he hadn't known he'd wanted.

There were new faces, as well. Always new, more to convert, and he was pretty damned good at converting them. He grinned around the room of the venue. It was smaller than they'd been playing at, but it was still nice, more fan friendly, more intimate. It was ... giving. A nice gesture to the devoted.

'Give it up for Adam!' He cheered as Adam launched himself into another solo.

Kylo blew a kiss down to the one in the backless shirt. She was half way gone to vodka, her gait uneven, but he didn't care. He'd decided she'd be the one tonight. He blew her a kiss and watched her eyes go wide, her grin go giddy and she was clutching at her friend for dear life. And then she was jostled slightly, stumbling as another girl pressed past her, heading for the bar. A slim little girl that his eyes automatically tracked, mouth going dry and the world going deathly silent.

He almost missed his cue, almost. He picked up the line half-way through and belted out the rest of the song as he stared and stared and stared until he could see nothing but her. _Her_. Because she was still in his system, still pumping poison into him in thick, steady bursts that the alcohol and the music and the sex had almost drowned. Almost until she was several meters away, in leggings that clung to her gorgeous legs, and a shirt that hid a waist he wanted to wrap his arms around.

Backless-shirt was gone. He had no idea where she was. He didn't care. She could have been at his feet and he did not care.

He had eyes only for the woman picking up two drinks at the bar. Two drinks and she was turning with a smile, turning towards him, hazel eyes lifting slowly, cheeks flushed red from the cold outside, the heat of the room, laughter. He didn't know. He didn't care. She was smiling and turning and looking up and up and up until she was looking at him. And the smile faded. The flush faded. And they stared at one another over the heads of the crowd. The song ended around him. Toby kicked him in the calf. But he didn't care.

Because Rey was here.

She was fucking here, staring at him staring at her. Like he was some teenager caught perving through a window.

Toby kicked him, harder, managing to jolt Kylo into action, to restart the gears and force him into the next song, the next verse, the next chorus, to keep going as his eyes tracked her back through the venue to a table tucked just out of sight.

He had four more songs. That was twenty minutes. He could do that. He could do this.

\-----

Ben stood and watched her. He felt awkward, just hanging back, veins still thrumming with the music and the adrenaline. Lyrics pounded thick through his skull and he stood motionless, waiting for her to notice him, to look up and see him and either accept or reject him.

He hated that she had this power, this overwhelming hold on how he acted. 

After so long.

After so much freedom.

Her.

Her friend, dark and handsome, Finn, his brain supplied, glanced up. His mouth, which had been moving constantly simply stopped. Finn just studied him with a cool curiosity and Ben wondered how much the man knew. The thought flitted away quickly as Rey looked up, looked directly at him. 

Her hold was so, unfairly strong.

He almost hated her for it. 

And still he was standing and staring at her, unsure of what to do with his arms or his hands, feeling dumb with them just hanging limply by his sides. 

Hazel eyes pierced through him and he wondered how sweaty he was. Had his hair escaped the braids? Goosebumps flared across his chest, from the exposed flesh under his jacket. He wished desperately that he was wearing a shirt, suddenly, inexplicably embarrassed. It was followed quickly by a flicker of anger. How dare she make him feel like this. Him. Kylo. 

She was standing, losing height as she slid off the stool to approach him. 

A part of him had hoped she’d invite him to sit, to join them. Even if the third party was her friend … it would be someone else, a witness. But he was glad, too, that she seemed to want privacy for this. 

He obliged, leading her out of the bar, through a side entrance that was used for loading gear and taking deliveries. Supposedly. The Knights of Ren had hauled all their crap in through the front door. It was closer to the stage. There was a small collection of partially broken chairs circling a metal trashcan in the alley way. The lid was covered in stubbed out cigarette butts, partially added to by Toby.

Ben folded himself into one of the seats and she sat across from him, placing her hands between her thighs. The angle of the alleyway and the overhang of the roof protected them from the worst of the wind, but there was still a nip in the air. She looked cold, the way she’d hunched in on herself. He didn’t offer her his jacket. He was cold too. 

'So,' he said, looking down at his knees. He folded his arms over his chest, fingers biting through the leather, his feet were pulled up under the chair, knees aching slightly from the position. The ache was vaguely warm, a stark contrast to his torso. 

'I'm sorry.' Her words startled him. He looked up at her, snorting his surprise. She didn’t return the look, her eyes trained firmly on the make shift table. She looked … resolute, determined. A little bit of that fiery spirit bursting to life now that they were here together. He was interested to see what she had to say. She owed that to him, an explanation, something … anything. But he couldn’t stop himself.

'I think I'm supposed to be the one apologising.' Her eyes narrowed at his words, but she still didn’t look up. He felt bad for losing his temper at her, for showing her that side of himself. Regardless of what had happened between the three of them, between himself, Hux and Rey … she hadn’t deserved that. To see the cruel part of him. To see the part he tried to funnel into his onstage persona. She hadn’t deserved him in the alleyway, shattering that last part of consolation she could have had. Because he’d wanted Hux to hurt as much as he did. He wanted Hux to burn. Hux, his closest friend, oldest ally. He had wanted Hux to _feel_ and so he’d told her so carelessly, so uncaringly and left her in that freezing weather to deal with it all by herself.

What kind of monster did that make him?

'I'm sorry for how I treated you in the office. It ... it wasn't right. At all.' Her words dragged him out of his head.

'Hey, it's cool.' He tried to keep his voice even, light. 

'No.' She cut him off, as if she was worried he’d try to talk her out of her apology. Rey finally looked up at him, eyes narrowed in disgust. The disgust wasn’t for him, though. It was for herself. His chest tightened. 'It's not okay. I mean ... what happened ... it was pretty shit. For me. And for you. I know now that what Hux did was ... really low.' She let out a shaky breath and leant forward, towards him. He resisted the conflicting urge to both lean forward to comfort her, and lean back and deny her words. 'I just didn't know, okay? But that doesn't excuse the fact I treated you like crap. I mean ... my childhood. It was really bad and I learnt pretty quickly to go by gut feel with people, and you being all quiet and intense-'

'Immediate no go?' He offered, words so much calmer than the turmoil raging through him. His veins pumped thickly with bile, of the hurt and the longing that was still tracing gritty fingers through his heart, so cleverly disguised until he’d seen her face. He could still see her, eyes light and teasing as she’d stepped out with two folders that had filled him with such horror and dread, to see them in her slender fingers … 

'Immediate no go.' She agreed, nodding slowly. Her hair was floating in wisps about her face. She looked so ethereal, so other with her freckles and large, earnest eyes. 'You were super nice, and quiet, but your intensity just freaked me out, so I was unfair to you. Really, unjustly unfair to you.' Ben inhaled deeply. He hated this ridiculous weakness clawing at his soul. Outing them all should have crushed this feeling. 

'You had a lot going on at the time.' He said instead, as if he wasn’t bothered by her sitting across from him, speaking so candidly, as if they were good friends instead of awkward acquaintances enduring an equally awkward conversation. He checked her problems off on his fingers as he spoke. 'Unemployment, huge debt, coursework, an unwanted past.' The hand vanished into a jacket pocket and he fiddled with a ball of fuzz. He leant back in his uncomfortable seat. He could kill for a beer right now, yearned for the buzz of alcohol.

'You're different like this.' She said. He frowned for a moment, wondering what she was on about, and then he realised she meant like this. In this weird amalgamation of Ben and Kylo, trying so hard not to be both. He felt different. She made him feel different.

'Yeah, I know.' He made a concerted effort to not look at her. To not glare.

'Why?' He shrugged broad shoulders, hair falling into his face. He flicked it out with a quick head toss. His braids were falling out. 

‘Does it matter?’ He asked, looking back at her. She shook her head slowly, uncertainly. He felt a spark of regret. She was sitting in the cold, baring her soul. Apologising to him. Apologising for how she’d acted a few months ago, in another lifetime. 

She’d chosen Hux over him. Had ignored him. Been rude, and a downright bitch. He could acknowledge all of it. But there was still a part of him, the part that had seen her sitting so dejectedly at the bar, that knew there was something more to her. She’d been so defensive, but so honest. So different. That had been before the fame, before women literally threw themselves at him. She had said no and left him feeling confused, but oddly pleased and amused. And then she’d said yes and been defiant in her independence as she’d promised to clean up the mess she made on his shoes. Had asserted that she could get herself her own damned glass of water. Seeing her so soon after, coming to him in need of assistance. 

Ben was unable to stop himself from helping her.

It was a compulsion.

He needed to help her. 

Because she was strong and defiant and independent and stubborn and a bit of a bitch. But under all that he knew she would not ask for help and so he needed to help her. Wanted to. Yearned to.

Because he was some sort of whipped fucking moron.

Ben realised they’d been sitting in silence. He cleared his throat. Her shoulders jerked, as if he’d startled her. 

'You're really good on stage.' Rey said, voice soft. He nodded in agreement. 'I'm glad you're doing well.' She offered again, eyes downcast as she searched for anything to talk about. She was still nervous, like her apology hadn’t gone the way she wanted.

'Touring's fun.’ He decided to throw her a bone. ‘It's tiring, a little rough ... but it's fun.' His smile turned a little wistful. Rough was an understatement, tiring underselling the point. It was a meat grinder, but it was worth it. 

They lapsed again, not looking at one another. The table seemed like a far safer option. 

'Rey,' he found himself saying her name, enjoying the way it rolled off his tongue. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to say to her, what he should say to take the pain from her expression. 

'And you don't get sick of the band?' She asked, speaking quickly, as if trying to talk over him.

'They have their moments.' He answered. 'I miss the office, sometimes. It was a lot quieter, stable hours, less alcohol and women.' He glanced at her as he said it. She shrugged at him, nonchalant. She wasn’t affected by his mention of promiscuity and a small part of him wanted her to be jealous, to flare up and berate him. He was glad she didn’t. 'Touring is hard, living with them basically seven days a week in the studio, on the stage, in the car.' He shrugged his shoulders.

'Ben, I am sorry for how it all ended. I just ...' she trailed off and he studied her closely. This was what he was supposed to be apologising for. 'I guess you don't get a lot of alone time?' The topic change was rapid and he grinned lecherously, unable to stop himself. 

'Girls love Kylo.' He said by way of explanation.

'Kylo?'

'Stage name.'

'Ah.' 

Her fingers drummed against her thighs, lips twisting as she chewed over the words she wanted. 

She looked like she had when he’d first met her, a little lost, a little upset. Stubborn as hell. Eyes resolute, brow furrowing.

‘I’m a fucking idiot.’ Her vehemence was startling. 

‘Why?’ He couldn’t help but ask in confusion.

‘I … you … Ben.’ She inhaled deeply. ‘I apologised because Hux wanted me to. In the beginning. I wanted to, as well, because I felt bad, but he asked me and I realised that I had been awful. I was this … thing I didn’t want to be. You were the person who got me a job. You helped me from poverty, from having to return to Plutt, but I treated you like dirt. No. Worse.’ Her face was flushed, eyes determined. He wondered what she’d look like if she cried. He tried not to think too hard on her words. ‘I treated you like you weren’t a person. I thought you were odd, but that’s no excuse. I should have talked to you when you started to bother me. Instead I just outright rejected you, and no amount of tea could make up for that. Hell, this isn’t going to make up for it. I was a bitch, a complete and utter unreasonable bitch and that’s all on me.

‘Sure, I had issues. Unemployment, which you saved me from. I had debt, which you helped me with. I had my coursework, which had _nothing_ to do with you. And my past, which has even _less_. None of it was fair to you, especially when I was so nice to _Hux_.’ He pretended not to enjoy the way she snarled the other man’s name. Perhaps not all had ended nicely there. ‘Ben.’ She paused, and he held his breath. His head was pounding, blood roaring in his ears.

He wanted to drag her into his lap and kiss her stupid.

He wanted to tell her to fuck off and go to hell.

He wanted to tell her it would all be okay.

‘Okay.’ He said instead.

Her face almost crumpled. Almost.

Her eyes brightened with the sheen of tears, but she blinked them away. Her lips thinned, the flush in her cheeks faded. Her nostrils flared as she inhaled deeply, calming herself, restoring herself back to how she normally was. In control. 

‘I don’t want you to feel alone.’ Her voice was still wavering, belying her strong front.

He exhaled slowly, silently.

‘Because of me you don’t have Hux. You … you only have your bandmates, all the time. I guess … you have to live with them. It can be hard talking to people you’re around all the time. Ben, I just ... I feel like shit. I made you feel like shit. I don’t want you to feel like that anymore. I want you to feel better and if talking to me helps, then I want you to talk to me, okay? If anything’s bothering you and you feel like you need to talk to someone just … just give me a call. I’ll be there for you, I promise.’ And there was a tear, solitary, caught in long, dark lashes in the corner of her eye. 

‘What makes you think I need to talk to someone?’ He felt indignant at her assumption, regardless of how close to home it hit. He scowled at her.

'Just, if you need to. If you can't talk to your band about something. I know how isolating it can feel, sometimes, with no one to just listen.' He recalled her mentioning an orphanage, of being alone, of the hints at so much more that he hadn’t dared think about. He could feel himself standing in the rehearsal studio, staring at his microphone, Snoke’s figure in the doorway, telling them to do better, be better. Of his bandmates telling him to stop arguing and do his fucking job. Sing the fucking lyrics. Don’t change what was already working. Who the fuck cared?

He grunted and looked away.

He saw her move in his peripherals, saw her scribble something on a piece of paper from her bag. He saw her put it on the table, and only then did he look.

Her number.

He didn’t need her to write it down. He already knew it to heart. He’d stared at it for so long in that cramped little office, listening to her sing to herself as she worked, listening to Hux grumble under his breath. 

He didn’t need her fucking number.

He didn’t need her sympathy. He didn’t need her apologies. 

He hadn’t sat staring at her stupid number for weeks, trying to work up the courage to just tell her. To tell her what they’d done. To tell her what he knew. 

He didn’t need her stupid, fucking number.

He held her gaze as the breeze tugged the scrap of paper into the air and danced it away from the both of them, into the darkness.

He stood up and left her sitting in the alleyway.

His band would be wondering where he was.

And her number was already beating in his goddamned heart.


	20. Chapter 20

She sat down at her desk and inhaled deeply.

Everything was clean and crisp and neat. She already knew it wouldn't last long.

A mug of tea sat next to her keyboard, steaming pleasantly, and she shifted in her seat. Her new clothes were quite comfortable, and she was glad she'd spent the last of her cash on the black slacks and a handful of work-appropriate business shirts and jackets. She felt far more presentable and less out of place.

Hux breezed past her desk alcove, opening his door and closing it behind him.

He was out barely a minute later, hovering over her desk, mug in hand.

'You remembered?' He sounded surprised. Rey nodded carefully.

'It's just a coffee,' she said. It was not a peace offering like Ben’s tea had been. That coffee was her doing her job. She smiled politely. 'What did you want me to start on, Sir?' All professionalism and class. Phasma stopped at her door, eyes narrowing on Hux's oblivious back.

'Sort through any mail. It should be by shortly. Run through my emails, and Phasma's, sort into immediate replies and things that can wait. There should be a stack of reports that need to be filed.' He nodded more to himself than to her, trying to think of anything else. But then he shrugged and was stepping back into his office again.

'If he's bothering you,' Phasma said, hand still on the silver handle. Rey looked up at her and smiled.

'I'm fine.'

'No, Rey.' The taller woman cut in, stepping closer so she was leaning over Rey to speak more quietly. 'I don't know anything about how you two know each other, but I do know how he works a little, and I know his old man, so if he's bothering you, you come to me and we'll sort it.' Rey was flabbergasted. Horror and gratitude warring for dominance.

'Aren't you friends?' She couldn't help but ask. Phasma laughed and gestured her to follow, so Rey popped up and trailed Phasma into her office. The door was closed behind them and Rey was ushered into a comfortable seat.

'We are colleagues first and foremost, and then possible friends. I haven't known him long, he’s too much of a workaholic for me to get to know him. But you know him, I think, and I don't want him thinking he owns you. You work for both of us. You deal with both of our calendars, you sort through _our_ mail, _our_ files, you make _our_ beverages for any meetings we're conducting. Not him. Not me. The both of us. The three of us operate as a team. Do you understand?'

'Perfectly,' Rey breathed, in honest awe of the powerful woman sitting before her. 'Do you prefer tea or coffee? And how do you like it?' Phasma laughed, loudly.

'Don't you bother about that. I can make my own damned tea.' Phasma said adamantly. Rey squinted at her for a moment before slamming the flat of her hand down on the arm of the chair.

'Honey vanilla. You're the box of honey vanilla! I can do that.' Rey said. Phasma looked impressed.

'Thank you, Rey. Now, I think I see a pile of mail out there. You better start working in case Mister CEO comes down to check on how his son performed hiring his first recruit.' Rey wrinkled her nose and Phasma smiled again. 'If you have any problems, come to me. I'll help where I can.'

'Thanks, Phasma.' And Rey meant it, earnestly. She had no idea how the woman knew, how she'd sensed Reys discomfort around Hux, but Rey wasn't too fussed. If she had someone in her corner to make the year more comfortable, she was fine with that.

As it turned out, she didn't need much help with anything. The mail was easy, all the passwords she needed had already been hand written into a notebook in her desk draw. The filing room was a heaven of orderly design, and Hux spent most of his time in the locked silence of his room, emerging only to go to the bathroom or to ask Rey to find a particular report from the filing room for him. By the end of the day, he stopped doing that and just sent her emails instead.

Phasma, on the other hand, was constantly around, dumping folders on her desk, including a manual on the business goals and ideals that she recommended Rey read. She also suggested a good sandwich store nearby and, when Rey explained she didn't really have the money for takeout, Phasma decided that she would treat the both of them to lunch. Rey couldn't really object as the giant of a woman plucked Rey's bag up and slung it over her own shoulder as she began to march down the hall.

Slowly, oh so slowly the week began to creep away.

Rey worked as diligently and efficiently as she could. Eventually Phasma began to only appear at lunch time, because it seemed that Phasma was intent on spending their forty-five minute allocated break together. Hux appeared even less frequently, usually there before she arrived, and still there when she left.

And then she would go home to feed Finn and BB-8 and be a good, consoling friend as he moped without Poe. He would continue to mope until Poe contacted him, and Rey was praying it would be soon, because Finn was eating less, sleeping less, and generally just doing everything less. It was stressing her out no end, especially when she had to pile study on top of that ... and make _Finn_ actually get up out of bed to just go to class, let alone study ...

So by the end of the week Rey was beyond exhausted, but strangely satisfied. And it was in this odd, euphoric mood, that she had the extraordinary pleasure of meeting Brendon Hux Senior.

She was at her desk, typing out Phasma's messy notes when a shadow fell across the page.

'Just a sec, Phas,' Rey said, but the throat clearing in response was decidedly masculine.

She looked up at the pointed chin, the cold blue eyes, and the combed back hair of silver and red. She knew immediately who he was and her mouth went dry. This was Hux's father, CEO of the company, and the man that could kick her out in an instant. This was also the day she was wearing one of her old shirts, her new ones still drying in her apartment after BB-8 had hacked up her dinner all over them. She felt so insignificant under his gaze, and behind him she caught a shadow of Phasma moving to her door.

'How can I help you, Sir?' Rey managed to ask politely, not letting the fear set in too deeply. Act professional, be polite.

'You're in charge of scheduling?'

'For Phasma and Hux, yes.'

'Then where is my son scheduled to be?' He demanded, voice haughty and clipped. He was actually looking down his nose at her, arms folded across his chest.

'In his office, Sir, where he's been all morning.' He sneered at her bit of cheek, and for an instant she thought maybe she'd gone too far, but he said nothing. He merely stood, stared, and waited. 'Did you ... want me to let him know you're here?' She asked, realising that he probably thought she could read his mind. Over the past week she hadn't called him for anything. If Phasma wanted something she'd simply open the door and stroll in. If Rey wanted something, she'd knock and then stroll in. Hux didn't notice either way unless you shoved something under his face, actually disturbing his line of sight.

'That would be wonderful.' Hux Senior breathed. She understood where Hux had inherited some of his worldly graces from.

'Hux,' Rey said after he picked up on the fifth ring. She'd had to go trawling for his office number, trying not to look desperate, until an email from Phasma had mercifully pinged up with it. Bless every inch of that woman.

'Yeah?' He sounded ... tired. Rey kept the smile on her face, voice pleasant and professional.  
'The CEO is here to see you,' she said, staring resolutely at her monitor as Phasma sent an email with a picture of her hiding under her desk. In today's clothes. Rey almost laughed. Phas had crawled under her desk for the sake of saving Rey's sanity. Rey promptly deleted it before anyone else could find it.

Hux sighed into the receiver.

'He knows he can bloody well walk in. Just ... stand up, ask him to follow you and open the door. Let him precede you and shut it behind him. Don't offer him a drink, he'll make it difficult and regardless of what you do, it'll be wrong.'

'Yes, Sir.' She was genuinely stunned at the answer, at how precise and calm he was, the order clear. She hung up and looked up at Hux Senior. Perhaps Mrs. Hux was the one with manners. 'He's free, if you'd follow me?' And she stood, as instructed, horribly aware of the old jumper she was wearing over her tights. She opened the door for him and waited for him to glide past, far too close for her comfort, and watched him turn and open his mouth.

She shut the door in his face and turned away.

She was just following orders.

Instead of returning to her desk, she entered Phasma's office and started laughing. She was ready for the week to be over.

By the end of the second week she was certain Hux Senior was the devil incarnate. On Wednesday he'd gotten his drink order in before she could close the door. He was still following the call routine, to the point where Hux Junior would ask her how her filing was going, or if she could send a package for him, instead of just saying 'yes, let him in now' like he was supposed to. It seemed he liked making his father wait just as much as Rey wanted to get rid of him. So Rey had dutifully gone and prepared some ridiculous tea concoction of a particular temperature of water, with a zest of citrus, two teaspoons of sugar and a drop of honey. She was sure she'd missed something as she stirred the brew, making sure to let the teabag sit for the requested two and a half minutes. As Hux Junior had promised, Hux Senior took immediate offense to her attempts. Not enough lemon, too much honey, the tea bag was held in ten seconds too long, the cup was wrong, what kind of sugar had she used? Rey smiled, apologised, and then sat in Phasma’s office to decompress once she'd been dismissed.

'It's a big deal,' Phasma said on the Wednesday into her third week. Rey started late on Wednesdays and ate her morning tea on the leather couch in Phas' office.

'What is?' She asked around her slice of ham on a cracker.

'What Hux is working on, it's a big deal. Huge stress to make it go through. Council is giving us grief about planning permission and an environmental group is claiming we're destroying some natural river, even though it's been put on the plans and has been fundamental in our designs.' She shrugged her shoulders and leant back in her chair, turning slightly so she could stare out the broad office windows, momentarily losing herself in the clouds. 'His old man thinks Hux can't do it. He can, of course. He's been pulling the whole project along. All I've been doing is batting my eyelashes and showing a bit of leg. But he's burning himself out, over there. He goes home really late, I checked his tag logs. He doesn't take his lunch break, either.' Phas sighed noisily. 'So, Rey of English Studies, woman of many talents. Please tell me you can rattle our colleague into some sort of break.'

'Me?' Rey didn't like the sound of that at all. Hux locking himself away had been a blessing. The less contact the better. But she had noticed that something was off, and as much as she didn't want to care, well ... Rey cared. She didn't like seeing people suffer.

'He decided to hire you the moment he saw you. I think you can talk him into going for a walk in the park today for his break, get some sunshine.' Rey groaned and sank into her seat. Phas smiled at the reaction. 'I know. I don't want you to tell me what happened between you two, and I know it wasn't great. He is still your boss, though, and if he dies of exhaustion you'll probably get stuck with some sleaze ball who'll be too busy staring at our tits to do any work, and then get us fired because of it.' 

Rey silently conceded her defeat. Phas was technically her boss as well, and as the boss asked, she had to do. She refused to get up until she finished her small meal, though. Phas wouldn't take her break until 3, and there was no way Rey would survive that long on an empty stomach.

She slipped into Hux's office after disposing of her rubbish and dumping her bag and text books under her desk and fetching a cup of coffee from the kitchen.

'Hey, Hux.' She put the coffee down carefully in the centre of the report he was reading.

He looked up at her in confusion.

'What are you doing?'

'You're going to drink that coffee, leave the building and go for a half hour walk.'

'I'm going to drink ... what? No!' He shook his head, gaze sharpening as he began to work himself into a glare. 'I mean, yes to the coffee, but I can't leave!'

'You'll make yourself sick, Hux.' She sat down in the vacant seat across from him and stared. Rey pretended she didn't know what his hair looked like when it was messy, or how his eyes crinkled when he smiled properly. After so many months she definitely didn't feel interested in him romantically, no. But there was ... there was still an undercurrent of attraction that she couldn't stamp out. She refused to let it affect her mood though, to let it sharpen her tongue or thicken her anger. Her personal emotions hadn't been fair to Ben back at the University, and they wouldn't be fair to Hux now if she let them get away from her.

'I'm fine, really.'

'What time did you leave last night?' She asked instead, not believing him.

'After nine, sometime?'

'Eleven forty-seven, Hux. I checked your staff card. And you got in this morning at five A.M. That's not healthy. You need to sleep, and you need to eat. You need to take a break.'

'Thank you, Miss Smith. That'll be all.' He took a sip of his coffee and placed it aside, away from his work. He began to type, clearly ignoring her.

Rey waited for half an hour before getting up to leave.

His reaction had felt like a challenge, and Rey hated losing.

She'd make Hux take a break.

\-----

The ring tone was obnoxiously loud as it dragged her from her sleep. Her clock reflected 2:02 at her, the world outside black and sleeping. Rey rubbed her eyes blearily and stared at the screeching device skittering over her bedside table.

The screen read 'Unknown Number'.

''Lo?' She mumbled, managing to answer it. Her voice was clogged with sleep, brain only half functioning as she tried to process the sounds on the other end. Someone was laughing, a guy, and there was someone ... throwing up?

'Hey.' It took her a moment to place the voice. Ben sounded gruff, tired. 'Sorry, I know it's late.' She was supposed to answer that, no, it was fine. He could call whenever, she'd offered. He'd let her number go flying away, but she'd offered. But it was 2am on Friday morning and she had to work.

'Yeah, it is.' She pulled her quilt up over her shoulders, burrowing back into the comfy goodness. 'What's wrong?' She finally asked, sick of listening to the hellish background noises on his end. Empty bottles clinking, the squeal of some woman.

'I shouldn't have called.' I have no idea how you did, a little voice in her head said snarkily. You let my number blow away and left me alone. As much as I deserved it. You left me alone.

'Ben,' she groaned, waking up even further as frustration flooded through her system. 'Why did you call me on a work night?' And how? How? How? How? She couldn't ask.

'Oh.' He hadn't realised. He was in a band, of course he didn't think like that. She closed her eyes to stop herself from rolling them. 'I just ... I wanted to talk to you.'

'What about?' She wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep for awhile now. She stared into the blackness of her cocoon and pulled a face, wrinkling her nose to tell the world exactly what she thought of this situation.

'There's a party right now.'

'I can hear that.'

'Yeah and, well, I mean, I guessed Reg was on drugs, like, there were clues, but I actually saw him snort some tonight. First time. I just ... I dunno.'

'You don't do drugs?' She thought of him on stage, and the concept surprised her. She then thought of Ben in the office, and it didn't as much.

'No. I really don't like them. People can do stupid things.'

'Like when they drink?' She wished she hadn't said that. She exhaled noisily. They lapsed into an awkward silence, interrupted only by the sounds of a woman moaning, seemingly close to Ben.

'That's Reg with some chick, sorry. I can't leave the room or they'll come out and look for me.' He huffed loudly.

'But you're still enjoying your work?'

'Yeah. The gigs are great, Snoke organised free drinks tonight, but we have to play tomorrow night, and then there's rehearsal all weekend. We have a few new tracks to work on before we test them out next week.'

'Sounds good.' She fiddled with a loose thread on her cotton blanket. The air outside her small nest was icy. Winter had come back with a bit of a vengeance, sinking its claws in before spring could fully claim its place. Something shifted at her feet and she almost jumped out of her skin, heart pounding, but it was only BB-8, stretching, moving up so she could crawl under the blankets with Rey for warmth. She accepted the kitten gladly.

'How is work at the University?' He asked, and she frowned. Of course he wouldn't know, why would he?

'I ... work for another company now. First Order.'

'What about ... Isn't ...' Ben didn't seem to be able to say the name and Rey was struck again by how this was inadvertently her fault. Her being there had pulled apart a friendship that had existed long before she'd arrived. A pang of guilt twisted in her gut as she thought of Hux sitting in his office, pouring over documents and plans, his cup of coffee stone cold and forgotten.

'Hux quit not long after you and got a job at F.O.' she explained gently, 'then my position was cut, and I somehow ended up with Hux as my boss again.'

'Are you both ...'

'Ben,' she said warningly, not wanting to talk about this. Her relationship with Hux was really none of his business.

'That day, in the office, with the lyrics?'

'Hmm?' It took a moment to process what he said. BB-8 was rubbing her head under Rey's chin, filling her nose with the scent of kitten and cat food. 

'I didn't put them in there. Mina did.'

'Who's Mina?' Rey asked, pushing the cat away so she could scratch BB-8 behind the ears. The kitten purred noisily.

'The girl that worked there before you. She ... it turns out she knew who I was.' He wasn't making any sense, and sleep-deprived Rey told him as much. The moans on his end of the line were getting louder and more frantic. The chick had to be faking it, Rey thought wryly. 'She knew I was in Knight's of Ren, she knew my stage name was Kylo. It turned out she was a big fan.'

'That's nice, though, isn't it?'

'No.' He said flatly. 'Not when she didn't say a word.'

'Then how did you find out?'

'She found the lyrics and screamed at me.' Rey laughed at the image of anyone screaming at Office Ben. 'She physically assaulted me, Rey.' He sounded hurt and offended. She stopped laughing and quickly apologised. 'I had to get stitches across my ribs. She thought I was going to break up the band because I was selfish for writing my own things.'

'You mean you don't want to be a rock god forever?'

'I didn't want to in the first place.' He whispered it so softly she almost missed it. She could picture him sitting in the corner of some dimly lit, poster-decorated room, curled up into the smallest ball he could manage, ear pinned to his phone while his band mates fucked and drank in close proximity. He was probably running his hand through his hair, his eyeliner smudged to all hell. It was an incredibly sad, incredibly lonely image. She felt awful for laughing. She wanted to apologise.

'So she assaulted you for writing your own work?'

'Yeah. Attacked me with scissors, too. I threatened to have her arrested and banned from every KoR gig forever if she didn't quit and leave me alone.'

'And she did?'

'Yeah.' Kylo sighed. 'I still see her around, especially now we're making it big, but ... it was creepy, you know? She didn't like me for who I was, she liked me for what I was. She didn't care that I liked tea over coffee. She'd give me whatever she thought I wanted. And when she found the files ... they were full of lyric scraps and notations that I'd been working on for years. A side project, you know? And she hid them from me. I didn't realise for awhile, until she couldn't stand me not knowing and she lost her mind at me while Hux was out at a meeting. She just flipped her lid and it was intense. I had to wear a jacket over my shirt all day, and use sticky tape to hold the cut closed until I could go see a doctor after work.'

'You didn't want to get her in trouble?' Rey couldn't believe what she was hearing, momentarily ignoring him using her as the comparison for normal. And he still saw this crazy woman around? The thought chilled her.

'I made her quit, that seemed like enough.' He mumbled. The woman in the background was keening broken notes. Rey grit her teeth. BB-8 nibbled her finger in protest at the horrible sound.

'I'm sorry, Ben. I had no idea. I mean, I was a bitch. A huge bitch, and I'm sorry. You deserve a lot better than that. But stitches ... holy hell.' He chuckled, voice deep.

'Yeah. Sticky tape probably wasn't the best idea. Turns out there were bandaids under the office sink, as well.' That made Rey laugh. The noise startled BB-8 into retreating further down towards her legs. 'I know it's late, sorry, I'll let you sleep now, if you'd like?'

'No, you can keep talking if you'd like.' She didn't want to hang up just yet. He already sounded a bit brighter. 'Tell me about your gig tonight.'

\-----

She put the salad on top of his keyboard and sat down.

'What's this?' Hux asked, picking up the Tupperware container.

'I made it.' She announced proudly as he popped the lid to peer at the mixture of vegetables on top of lettuce and spinach.

'Why?' He picked up the plastic fork that was resting on top and pushed around the cherry tomatoes and slivers of carrot, spearing a piece of cucumber to inspect.

'You need to eat. You look awful.' He glared at her for that, but ate the cucumber anyway.

'You look pretty tired yourself.' She shrugged her shoulders dismissively. Her phone call with Ben had run until 3.30, ending only when his friends had realised he wasn't partying like he was supposed to be.

'Can I help with any of this?' She asked instead as he ate another mouthful of the salad that was supposed to be her dinner last night, until Finn had come home with takeaway from work and chocolate milkshakes.

'Not really.' He sat back, the first time she'd seen him do it in ... ever. The meal was still in his hands, and he seemed to have forgotten that he was supposed to be ignoring it. 'It's just an endless battle with other companies at the moment. There's a petition against us, but I don't understand why. We're offering cheaper rent to the tenants who return, after we've moved them so we can build. We're putting in a park, so I don't know why the environmentalists are on about, and the council is claiming we don't have enough parking or safety lighting. It's all here. Someone has a stick up their arse and I need to find out who.' He lapsed into brooding silence, interrupted only by the crunch of celery and beans. He popped a tomato in his mouth and bit down hard, eyes closing briefly at the taste. 'How are you?' He asked after awhile.

'Good.' She answered vaguely, quite content to let him ramble, as long as it didn't turn to them, or her. He was taking a break, finally, no matter how brief it was. It was a small step, but it was progress.

'Phasma has an obsession with jalapenos.'

'She does.' He agreed. 'The more the better. Don't let her convince you to go out for Mexican. She's a spice fiend, and she'll insist on sharing all meals. It never ends well.'

The container was empty when he put it down. Rey wasn't sure if it was just wishful thinking, but she thought he looked better already, with a proper meal in his belly. She scooped up the tub and lid, plopping the fork inside before she closed it.

'I'll let you get back to work then.' She smiled, and stood. He had already returned to a pile of reports at his elbow.

\-----

BB-8 was curled over her shoulders, digging her sharp claws into Rey's bicep when her phone rang.  
She reached for it gingerly, trying not to be mauled in the process.

'Hey, Finn.' She answered, not looking at the screen.

'It's Ben.'

'Oh.' She glanced at her phone to confirm it, even though it was clearly Ben's voice. 'Sorry.'

'It's fine.' He didn't sound fine. BB-8 shifted and dug her claws in again. Rey hissed. The kitten was lucky she was so damned cute. And warm.

'What's up?' She dog-eared the page in her text book and slid it aside.

'I just finished my gig.'

'I don't hear your band in the background.'

'I'm not with them. I left early.'

'I thought you weren't supposed to,' she frowned, trying to recall their conversation from the previous night.

'Nah, Snoke will probably throw a tantrum if he finds out. Which he will. Reg is probably already throwing a tantrum.'

'Oh.' She stared at the black screen of the television. 'So what are you doing, then?'

'I dunno.' He exhaled noisily and she heard him adjust the phone. They fell into a long, awkward silence.

'Will you go home?' She ventured.

'I don't want to. But I don't feel like drinking.'

'You could come here?' Shit. Shit, shit, shit.

BB-8 dug her claws in deeper and Rey didn't care. She deserved it.

Why had she just invited Ben over to her home? And while Finn was working double shift? She'd be alone. She prayed he'd reject her offer.

'Are you sure?' He asked.

'Yeah.' Fucking shit. She closed her eyes and dropped her head into her lap, dislodging the kitten in the process. BB-8 wasn't overly impressed, but then, neither was Rey. She gave him her address and hung up.

It didn't mean anything, nothing was going to happen. It was just Ben and he needed someone to talk to. He wasn't happy with her, he'd openly rejected her offer to help, even though he'd somehow called her anyway. He was just coming to blow off some steam, maybe finally tell her off for being such a bitch. Rey pushed herself up off the couch, stepping carefully over the cat before she headed into the kitchen to boil the kettle and pull out some cups.

How had she turned into a babysitter all of a sudden? First Hux, and now Ben?

A giant cosmic joke was exactly what her life was. Try to make something of herself? Nope. Let's just haul you back by half a year and saddle you with two emotionally-stunted men.

No. No, that wasn't fair. Rey rubbed her face tiredly. She was better than that. Hux was under a lot of pressure, and so was Ben. They were coping the best they could, she was just inadvertently there to help catch the pieces they weren't able to.

His knock against the door was surprisingly gentle, and she threw it open with such nervous gusto it startled him.

Again she wondered how the dynamics between them even worked.

He was in his black jeans and leather jacket, this time with a black T-shirt underneath. His eyeliner was perfection tonight, and despite the echo of pub smell on him, she could tell he hadn't been drinking.

'Is that tea?' He asked when she didn't say hello immediately.

'Oh, yeah. I made one for you as well.' She shut the door behind him and they curled up awkwardly at opposite ends of the couch, nursing their mugs. But the couch wasn't very big, and Ben was basically a giant, so their feet were tangled together in the middle. The air between them was vaguely tense, vaguely uncomfortable as they both looked at everything but each other.

'I need a break.' He finally announced to the room, voice demanding, deep. Rey jumped in surprise, almost sloshing hot tea on her hands.

'Then take a holiday?' She suggested. 

'I contractually can't, yet. We're booked up for the next few months. No time off in the land of music. Work hard, play hard, go home only to sleep, maybe.' He grinned wryly at that, but his face spoke dark anger.

'Call in sick?'

'I'm the singer. I'm literally the front of the band. Snoke would string me by the balls if I did that.' Rey grimaced at his words, feeling the ghost of pain in her groin in mental sympathy.

They lapsed into silence again, watching BB-8 thread her way between the legs of the coffee table, before she hopped up onto the couch between them and mewed. She looked between the two humans and seemed to decide that Ben was the better option. The little traitor hopped into the big man's lap and began rubbing orange fur all over his jacket and pants. He idly patted the kitten with his free hand, almost engulfing the creature with the size of his palm.

'I was watching the original Star Wars trilogy earlier, did you want to watch them?' Rey offered, at a loss of what else to say. She sipped nervously at her tea, glancing at him.

'Sure! Vader is my favourite.'

'I love the Princess.' She smiled dreamily. 'She's so strong and opinionated. Really passionate about what she believes in.' Ben made a noise and she shot him a wary look. He merely smiled as she leant forward and turned on the screen and DVD player. The Empire Strikes Back blared to life and they settled in comfortably. Rey stretched the throw rug between them and they remained fully immersed until Ben’s phone began jangling uncontrollably. BB-8 grumbled when Ben dislodged her to stand up and get the device from his back pocket.

He scowled darkly as Rey paused the film.

'Snoke.' He snarled before hitting answer. 'Yeah?' He went silent, glaring at an indeterminate spot on her wall. 'So?' Rey could hear the fury in the voice on the other end. 'I needed to see a friend. Yeah. Yeah it was an emergency. Sure. Yeah, right. Okay.' Another long pause and his face grew angrier, dark brows almost meeting in a sharp slant between his eyes. His frown fanned wrinkles through his cheeks and chin. Ben dragged a frustrated hand through his hair. 'Look, I'll be back soon, okay? Fuck, fine. Done.' He hung up and shoved the phone into his jacket pocket.

He looked at Rey then, his eyes widening, as if he'd forgotten where he was. He was apologetic then, ashamed.

'You have to go?' She asked, surprisingly sad at the thought. They were half way through the movie, and she'd been thinking of making them a small stir fry to eat. Perhaps some hot chocolates with marshmallows.

'Yeah, sorry.'

'Don't be. You have to work. Commitments and contracts and what not. It's fine.' She stood up and walked him to the door. 'If you need to call me, seriously, don't hesitate. I don't mind.' He looked down at her for a long moment, as if mulling something over. She waited nervously, wondering what it was.

'I'm glad we banged in that pub.' She snorted in disbelief at his words. 'I don't deserve someone as nice as you.'

'We've already established I wasn't nice,' she pointed out archly, refusing to acknowledge the little swell of pleasure at his words.

'Maybe not,' he acknowledged, 'but no one else would drop everything and listen to me bitch for hours like you have.' She shrugged, unable to formulate a witty or deflecting response. 'Thank you. I mean it.'

'You better get back to your evil overlord, Kylo.' She smiled up at him and gestured to the door.  
'I'll call you later.'

'Preferably not at 2am on a weeknight.'

'I guarantee nothing,' he laughed, pulling her front door closed behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For everyone who refuses to believe that Rey could find Ben creepy, I must draw your attention to the following:  
> http://darth-ej.tumblr.com/post/147685799859/dim-the-lights
> 
> Also, I love con-crit. Love it. A few people have raised very valid points that I have taken great efforts to fix in future chapters.
> 
> I do not, however, nor does any other author, appreciate criticism.  
> Critiquing something is when you offer helpful suggestions, or explain why you feel that way (are you not getting enough detail? Did I forget about a previous character encounter? Are the characters too 2d?).
> 
> Critique is not 'this is shit, I think it's shit.' 
> 
> Explain. Use your words. I love explanations, I thrive off it. It improves my writing and my story for YOUR benefit.
> 
> I'm sad that I have to keep reminding people of this. Most of my usual commenters are lovely and I love you. We've already butted heads and gotten over it. But I still feel, especially after the last chapter was posted, that people need to be reminded.
> 
> This is not a personal attack on any of my fantastic readers, it's just a gentle reminder that authors are people too, and they want you to enjoy their story, they want you to keep reading. I love your comments (as long as they aren't rude and unfairly harsh), and don't want you to stop taking the time to say that 'yay I liked it!' or 'gee, I wish Hux would pull his head out of his bum already'.
> 
> Comments are the life blood, they are encouraging and wonderful.
> 
> Anyway, sorry for the spiel. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> <3


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You are all such wonderful people <3  
> You all deserve a tub of ice cream! (Unless you're lactose intolerant, then you get whatever substitute you want!)

'What are you doing?' Rey turned to look over her shoulder as Hux entered his office. He was late today, and looking rested for the first time in a long time. He arched a brow as she finished emptying the jug of water onto the pot plants soil.

'Watering your plant?' She stated the obvious, straightening up to face him.

'I ... thought I replaced that.'

'Why would you replace it?' She asked, dumbfounded. He rounded his desk and sat down, putting his briefcase on the floor under it. He swivelled to face her and the plant that sat by the window, basking in the morning rays.

'With a fake one. I'm just ... not great with living things.'

'I've noticed.' She said archly, and then felt awful for it. 'You just need to water it, is all. I started looking after it a couple of weeks ago when it started looking, well, almost dead.' He looked slightly embarrassed by his inability to care for a non-sentient life form. Rey grinned at him. 'I've got this, it's fine. Oh, by the way, Senior has been leaving about ten thousand messages for you. Phasma wants to know when that meeting with the Board is happening and I scheduled you in for an hour break today. The three of us are going out for pizza to debrief on your project.'

'Why?' Hux asked. Rey crossed her arms, jug dangling from a crooked finger.

'What do you mean, why? I just do what I'm told.'

'By who?' He demanded, evidently put out by the order. Rey sighed, not really understanding why lunch was such a big issue in the first place.

'By me.' Phasma called from her desk across the hall. 'I don't know shit about what you've been doing and CEO Senior's been harassing me while you were getting your beauty sleep!' There was no venom in her words, just sing-song teasing. Hux grumbled under his breath but let it drop.

'Thanks about the plant.' He mumbled, already bending down to pull files out of his bag.

'Oh, don't worry about it. You should probably worry about your eleven o'clock meeting, though. It starts in twenty minutes.' She waved over her shoulder as she closed the door behind her. Phasma grinned at her.

'It's always good to keep CEO Junior on his toes,' Phas said. Rey laughed and went to sort the mail on her desk.

Life was good at the moment. Very good.

She tossed the letters onto their correct piles, junk mail flicked straight into her waste-paper basket to be shredded later on that afternoon.

Finn was finally coming to terms with Poe's absence, returning to his ridiculously cheerful persona. He'd also reverted back to dropping absolutely everything to take a phone call from his boyfriend, but Rey couldn't begrudge him that at all. She never could. She was too busy being envious about the relationship between the two men, about how close and obviously in love they were. It was almost sickening.

Rey smiled as she thought about them, barely feeling the sharp sting of a paper cut. She only registering it as she spotted the dab of blood on the envelope of a piece of mail addressed to a Mr. Brendol Hux Jr. It was thrown onto Junior's pile.

It was good, though: the teasing, the quiz questions, the failed attempts at cooking. And now there was BB-8 as well who'd decided that, in the absence of Poe, perhaps Finn wasn't such a bad guy. The sight of the cat curled up around Finn's shoulders still came as a surprise, but it was one Rey cherished and encouraged. The little mite still spent her nights curled up with Rey, though, mewing and nuzzling on the rare occasion she still suffered from a nightmare.

And then there was this job. How fortunate was she to land something so easy-going with consistent hours and generous pay? And Phas? Rey honestly didn't know how she'd cope without the other woman’s overly friendly demeanour. It was as if Phasma had been sent to Rey to make up for all the bad over the past year. She was a helpful ear, a friendly smile, and a knowing eye. She also had a wicked sense of humour that had almost gotten them into trouble several times during large meetings with the Board and various other departments within the business.

Hux was easy to deal with as well. She'd moved past the fact that he'd neglected to tell her certain things about their ex-colleague. She'd also mostly moved past the fact that he was still kind and charming when he wasn't stressed to the hilt. Hux was easy to work with, and manage. Rey had learnt fairly quickly, after the first few weeks, that the best way to work with Hux was to think of everything before him. Cup of coffee? Already on your desk. Reports? They're in your tray. Have you heard- the email is sitting in your inbox, Sir.

Phasma was on the phone when Rey stepped in to deliver the pile of letters. The smiled at one another as Rey upended them messily on the woman’s desk. Phasma rolled her eyes and pushed them about with the end of her pen, pushing the odd one off the side, into her bin. Rey did the same for Hux, only his weren't dumped unceremoniously, they were laid neatly in his In-Tray, addresses facing up so any brandings could be seen as he picked them up.

'Thanks.' He said as she turned to leave. 'Oh, and Rey-'

'The pot's boiling, Hux. Give me two minutes.' She didn't need any sign of appreciation from him. She knew she had it regardless, because Rey was on top of things for once in her life.

\-----

Ben was pacing circles, he knew he was. It was irrational, this fear that he was somehow letting everyone down. How could he be? They had the night off.

The night. Off.

End of story.

He could go out and do what he wanted. By himself. Without his band.

And he felt awful for it. Living in each other's pockets for so long, breathing the same stinking air, eating the same meals, sharing their drinks, restringing each other's instruments, unable to remember who owned which item of clothing ... they were like the one person now. A well oiled, music making machine touring from town to town, pub to pub, fan to fan.

The fame and power over the minds of their listeners was a heady sensation. He loved it, loved how it felt, how it sounded and tasted. He loved that people wanted to know more about him, to meet him and touch him. Hell, people wanted him to sign things. That was insane! And Snoke, smiling proudly down on them, gifting them expensive things, opening doors they would never have even dreamed of ... One of their songs was to be in a film. An honest to God, going to be in a cinema, film. It was all too good to be true. The Ben that had _ummed_ and _ahh'd_ over it was long gone. He didn't understand how he could've been so hesitant.

He wasn't letting anyone down.

Only himself, because he was too busy stressing to enjoy himself like the rest of his band probably were.

They were probably all out visiting friends and family, shooting the shit.

Family wasn't an option for Ben, and friends ... well ... Hux ... no. That was still a no-go that he didn't want to face just yet. But Rey? They were friends now, surely. She'd suggested trading numbers, had talked to him, invited him over. They were friends, definitely. At the very least she tolerated him now. Actually, honestly tolerated him.

It was the lobby of her apartment building that he was wearing a path in. Undecided if it was okay to just turn up unannounced. It had been weeks since he'd last seen her. He'd spoken to her, sure, a couple of calls, and not just initiated by him, which had been a huge surprise. He'd missed both of those calls, phone on silent backstage, but she'd called without prompting and that had to mean something.

Ben flexed his hands and rolled his shoulders back, drawing himself up to his full height.

What was he so scared of? It wasn't like he was infatuated by her anymore. They were simply friends, and friends visited each other when they were in town.

He was in town.

She was in town.

He was visiting.

He took the steps two at a time, racing up and up until he was standing in front of her door.

Was she even home?

He knocked before he could second guess himself any further.

The door was thrown open by an incredibly panicked and flustered Finn. Wide-eyed, sweaty Finn, gaping at him uselessly.

'Hey,' Ben said, not quite sure what was going on, or what he was supposed to be doing. 'What's wrong?' He asked when Finn just gaped at him uselessly.

'I don't _know_!' Finn said, lurching forward and hauling him into the apartment, closing the door behind them. He didn't seem to question why Ben was here at all. 'She won't _talk_ to me!' 

Ben spotted her as he stepped further inside. 

She was slumped against the wall by her bedroom, body half hidden by the kitchen island. Her knees were folded to her chest, bare feet splayed over the floorboards. Her arms dangled over her knees, blank eyes fixated on a letter that was half crushed in her white-knuckled grip. Her face was pale, bleached of its usually rosy cheeks and dust of freckles. A husk of the Rey he knew.

Finn wrung his hands together uselessly, staring at her.

'Rey, what's wrong?' Finn was begging, looking on the verge of tears. 'I left it on the bench for her, and she opened it ten minutes ago and she hasn't moved. I don't know what it _is_!'

Ben took a deep breath before approaching her. He had no idea how _he_ was supposed to help if Finn couldn't, but not two minutes ago he'd decided that they were friends. Friends looked out for each other, so he would try his best to fix whatever this was. Right now the past didn't matter, she needed something and he would try to give it to her.

Ben sunk to his haunches in front of her, slouching down so he wasn't quite towering over her.

'Rey?' He said as gently as he could. She didn't make any gesture of recognition. Her eyes were devoid of emotion, her face blank and listless. The only sign of any sentiment displayed in the tension of her hands. The ones clutching the letter that seemed to be at the root of all of this.

Worry and panic lanced through him, sharp, nauseating emotions that churned his gut and sped his pulse.

'Rey?' He tried again.

'I'm boiling the kettle. Tea helps, right?' Finn asked.

'Sure.' Ben didn't really know how a hot drink could help. Getting her off the floor would probably be a better idea, but he didn't want to touch her until she recognised him. Their friendship, acquaintanceship, was built on very unstable ground. He wasn't prepared to jeopardise it just yet, especially not while she was like this.

'Black tea, maybe. Or a green tea? Cleansing? I'll do green tea.' Finn was clattering mugs, shuffling through a cupboard presumably on the hunt for tea bags.

Ben tilted his head slightly, pushing Finn out of his mind, pushing all distractions away until he was focused solely on the slip of a woman before him.

Had she always looked so fragile? She was tiny, he would easily be able to encircle her arms with his hand. There was muscle under the fragility, he could see it with her tension, but she was just so _small_ and _helpless_. Where was the little fire cracker who glared and hissed and spat? Ready to burn anyone who dared cross her in anything? He wanted to see that side of her now, desperately. He wanted to see her fight whatever this was, so she could beat it, move on, be happier. He didn't want her to be so listless, so trapped in whatever was consuming her.

'Rey, what's wrong?' He reached out tentatively and brushed loose strands of hair out of her face, pushing it behind her ear. 'Rey?' He spoke louder, voice as caring and gentle as he could make it.

Her eyes flickered up to him for a moment. They were bloodshot, pupils blown, rims red. She looked so lost.

'Oh.' She more exhaled rather than spoke, lips parting slightly to emit the sound.

'Ice cream.' Finn slammed his hand loudly against the counter, evidently startled by Rey. 'Chocolate ice cream. We don't have any. I'll be back. Guys, I'll go get some. Ice cream will work!' Her helpless housemate fled the apartment, abandoning the boiling kettle, again not seeming to be bothered by the mostly stranger of a man lying with his defenceless best friend.

'Rey,' Ben said, more firmly. 'Why are you sitting on the floor?'

She blinked slowly, looking down between her legs, as if unsure of where she was.

'I got a letter,' she said slowly, voice thick with something he couldn't identify. His heart squeezed and he tried not to feel to hurt or worried about how she sounded. Ben rocked back onto his butt, booted feet sliding out so she was partially boxed in by out bent legs. She didn't seem to notice, though, as she looked back up at him. She looked so tired and forlorn.

'What does the letter say?' He prompted softly. She looked at it again. Her hands trembled slightly and then a tear slipped down her face, solitary in her misery.

Ben stamped down the urge to pull her into his chest and hug her tightly. He had to be patient and careful. This was not a Rey he was accustomed to. Friendly and teasing was new and welcome, fiery and distant an old companion, but this broken echo of her was unnerving and unwanted. He wondered if poking her anger would help her, or if that would be more self-serving for him. Dealing with a known quantity would be preferable, but this wasn't his sorrow, it wasn't his call. He was in her domain and he had to treat it as such.

They were friends.

He had to be her friend.

'You need to talk to me Rey.' He said, opting for a middle ground. 'I'm not going to leave and then let you call me at three in the morning like some inconsiderate arse.' That got a chuckle out of her, a sad, desolate sound, but a chuckle nonetheless.

They sat in silence for a few more moments. The floor was cold and uncomfortable, but Ben resisted the urge to shift his weight.

Finally she stirred, her bare feet sliding forwards on the wooden boards, slipping under his bent knees. Her hands fell into her lap, crushing the papers further. She tilted her head back, letting it thump against the wall as she released a loud, heartfelt sigh, as if she could breath out all the bad feelings within her.

'It can't be that bad,' he said with attempted lightness, trying to goad her into talking. She huffed something that sounded like a laugh, her shoulders rising and falling with it. Her head fell back down, eyes meeting his. Her cheeks had regained some colour, her eyes dark and focused.

'It is that bad.' She said, voice still low, sullen. 'I can't ... I just can't be happy. I feel happy and then something just comes crashing down to smash it to smithereens.' She flung the letter between their legs. They both watched as the papers skittered and bent, black squiggles mostly illegible from this distance. Ben looked back at her face, waiting for permission to look.

'What is it?' He finally asked into their extended silence.

She hummed softly to herself, rolling her neck with a series of cracks. He could see her coming back to herself, could see the fire building with each flex of her shoulders, with every twitch of her fingers. Rey was coming back to herself with brimstone and rage.

'Read it.' She finally said, sounding more herself now. Her eyes had narrowed into a glare, lips pressed tightly together.

Ben didn't need to be asked twice. He plucked it off the ground and skimmed through it quickly.

Half of it he didn't understand, legal jargon and ramblings about owing amounts, of utilities and rent, food and ... a scholarship.

'Rey, what is this?' He looked back up at her.

'A demand for money,' she said with deceptive calm. He could feel the tension radiating off her, corded in her muscles. He was suddenly grateful he hadn't pushed her into this, that it wasn't directed at him. She looked ready to murder, to lay waste to anything and anyone that got in her way.

'From who?' He asked almost hesitantly, needing her to talk, to work through this and help him understand.

'Who do you think?' She growled then, the viciousness surprising. 'He claims I owe him all this money that I failed to pay since I started working. Claims I owe him back rent, a share in the utilities, food costs, fuel for his car - I wasn't even _allowed_ in his car! And education? He claims the scholarship never included the cost of textbooks. That's three years of textbooks, do you have any idea how much they cost? And then he also claims he leant me money for my relocation here. He expects me to pay all of it back! Did you see the number?' Her laugh was high pitched, hysterical. She buried her face in her hands, nails digging into her scalp. Her body laboured under the deep breaths she was taking to try and calm herself down.

Ben had seen the number. It was huge, impossible even. A ridiculous amount that demanded an even more ridiculous pay date. It seemed wrong, but there was a lawyer’s address on it, a lawyer’s name and watermark. It was all official, and horribly unfair. He stretched up and set the letter on the counter above him, out of harm's way.

'He really wants you to go back to him, doesn't he?' Ben said, recalling an old conversation, when he'd bought her and Hux dinner and they'd learnt about her scholarship situation. He could only assume that it was the same man.

'Yeah, he does.'

'Can you afford any of it?'

'If I don't want to eat, or have a roof over my head.' She replied darkly, glaring at her hands.

'Can you ... talk to him?' She glanced up at him. He found himself chewing his bottom lip nervously and stopped immediately. He knew there was a tension there that he didn't understand, the desire to not go back. He had a similar desire with his own family. But just because he wouldn't demean himself to request help from his family didn't mean she might not be able to talk it out.

'No.' Her voice went stony cold, shutting down that train of thought. 'I'm never going back there.' She pulled her legs out from under him, standing up slowly on unstable legs.

Her hands clenched and unclenched.

His eyes tracked the eerily familiar movements and his gaze dropped down to his fingers, resting loosely on his thighs.

'He can't make me go back there. He can't make me. Ever. I can beat him.' The fire was sudden and fierce.

'Beat him in what?' Ben asked, rising to his own feet so he could watch her. She was pacing a tight circle in front of the bathroom door, brows knitted, a frown marring her usually sunny complexion. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms and soothe it all away.

'This. Everything. He can't do this to me anymore. I'm not a little girl. He wants to take all my money so I have to rely on him, depend on him so he can take and take and take. He only ever takes, all for himself. And they don't care, no one cares. They just turn a blind eye to it all. Clumsy child, wasn't paying attention. But you know what?' She spun towards him, eyes blown dark in her rage. 'I escaped once. I escaped so I'd never have to go back there. Did you know I was scared of the dark? Yeah. I had to sleep with a light on. And with Finn. I couldn't even sleep in my room. How fucked up is that? I couldn't sleep by myself because every time I heard the walls creak, or the floor, or the wind push one of the doors so the hinges squeaked, I thought it was him coming back. I thought it was him and I'd wake up screaming because it couldn't be. So I had to sleep with Finn and every night we had to walk around and triple check that everything was closed and locked and sealed. And we would crawl under his blankets and I'd still wake up sweating and shaking because he was _in my head_.'

Bens whole body had gone rigid, muscles taut as she spoke. It was as if she couldn't help herself, unleashing this torrent of pent up anger and frustration and sorrow and he was drowning in it. In her as a child, tormented and hounded, and as a young woman - Rey of three years ago. A recent Rey waking up with nightmares because of ... because of ...

'Rey,' he said hesitantly, softly, despite the tension locking his jaw and straining the cords in his neck. 'Rey, what are you trying to say?' His voice brought her back slightly, and her face crumpled. But she refused to cry, so she simply stood and looked at him forlornly.

'Us,' she waved a limp hand between the two of them. 'I overreacted, fairly, but cruelly, because I don't _do_ that. I can't do that, Ben, because of what he did to me. I can't just use people because then I'd be no better than _him_.'

'Hey, no.' He stepped towards her, the action completely unintentional, but when she didn't back away he moved closer again. 'What we did means nothing, okay? I made a huge fucking deal over two drunk idiots in a pub. Forget it. It meant nothing, it means nothing.' He was lying through his teeth, chest constricting at the pure desperation to just make this okay for her, because what she was laying before him was too horrendous to even start to comprehend. 'But what we did was normal. It doesn't lessen you as a person, it doesn't make you horrible. We were using each other for the same end. That's it. We just wanted some fun and we _both_ agreed to it.'

She stared up at him with big eyes.

He clenched his jaw and his fists, feeling the rage rumble through him.

'Rey,' He said as calmly as he could, 'you didn't use me, okay? And I didn't use you.'

'Okay.' Her voice was careful, eyes calculating.

'We're two adults. And as two adults we'll figure this out, this demand for payment.' Her gaze flickered past him, to where the letter sat on the bench.

'I don't have that kind of money. I doubt I'll find a place with cheaper rent, and I can't not eat. I mean, even if I did I still wouldn't be able to afford what he's asking.' She seemed to have simmered down again and Ben felt himself relaxing.

'Rey!' Finn was stepping through the door, keys in hand, plastic bag slung over his shoulder. 'Oh thank-freaking-goodness! I was so worried!' He dashed towards her, scooping her up in a bear hug that Ben wished he could give her. He stepped back awkwardly to give them some space, already wondering if he should perhaps leave. 'I bought three tubs of ice cream!' Finn was opening the bag and showing her the contents. 'I got all of us triple fudge chocolate.'

Us.

Got all of us.

Three tubs.

Ben stared hard at Finn as he scampered around to the sink to fish out three clean spoons. Rey was watching him as well, a bemused smile curling across her lips, as if she hadn't been catatonic several minutes ago.

'I know I just left, I'm sorry, but I thought this might help. I didn't know what to do! I tried talking, and tea, and I tried to give you a hug but you were like this marble statue, and then he came over and I don't know. I figured ice cream would help. It has to help. It will help. I just,' Finn sighed and wrapped his arms around her, guiding her towards the couch, where they tumbled into a corner.

Ben stared at the back of their heads, suddenly feeling ten times too big for his body. Everything felt _wrong_ and _off_. Was this really a time for food? She'd been a mess, a shell of a person, utterly distraught over her future _and_ her past. She'd been ... Ben inhaled deeply, still trying to come to terms with it. Had she really meant what he thought she did? That her caretaker, the man supposed to _protect_ her, had done things to her? Had tormented and traumatised her into something sounding awfully like PTSD? That the woman he knew was still clutched by demons she'd only very recently escaped? And now he wanted her to come _back_ to him so he could lay hands on her again?

Hot useless rage surged through him and his nails bit deep into his palms, black swirling through his brain as his heart thudded in his ears.

And she was sitting on the couch, eating ice cream.

And Finn knew.

Finn knew about this and had left her alone.

'You coming? Ben, right? You're Ben?' Finn asked from the couch.

'Yeah.' Ben had no idea what was going on. He rounded the edge of the couch and perched awkwardly on the available cushion. Finn was at the far end, Rey half sitting on him, their legs tangled together as they peeled off the lids to their treats. Rey already had her spoon in her mouth when she handed Ben his tub and utensil. Her hand was warm against his as she relinquished her grip on the icy container, eyes crinkling in the corners as she did so.

'I'm thinking Mulan,' Finn decided for them, remote already in hand. Ben settled himself further back into the couch, realising that he couldn't just leave now, legs stretching out under the coffee table as the TV flickered to life. Finn had bought him ice cream, they'd invited him to stay. Rey stretched over him, tugging the throw rug off the arm of the couch and draping it over their laps as she settled herself between the two men, the size of the couch meaning she was partially sitting in both of their laps.

'Thank you,' she whispered as Finn muttered to himself as he wrestled with the remote.

Ben looked down at her, his spoon hovering in front of his mouth. His eyebrows creased in question. His anger was ebbing away, simmering in the back of his mind. He couldn't be angry now for her. If she wasn't, he couldn't.

'For being here.' She added. He nodded uncertainly and she squeezed his arm comfortingly. 'Thank you.'


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are making my head get all fat with compliments.  
> I'm also freaking some of you out with ominous responses to your comments.  
> It's cool, guys, it's cool. Everything's fine here on the Pain Train to Painsville. 
> 
> Just remember: I love you all. This story isn't a personal vendetta against you. I really do love you guys. And your wonderful comments. And over 300 kudos?! You're killing me! Just like I (figuratively) love killing these characters (with awful scenarios) >=]

She awoke to a sore neck and a strange feeling of calm.

In the groggy state of half-sleep she shifted, trying to make herself more comfortable and work the kink out of her neck. Her legs stretched out along the couch, meeting no resistance save the tangle of the throw rug. Her cheek slid from an awkward position on a vertical stomach to a soft, horizontal lap and she sighed. An arm tightened around shoulder and Rey paused, eyes fluttering open. The apartment was dimly lit, sunlight peeking through drawn curtains. The TV was off, empty ice cream containers littering the coffee table.

Three.

Long legs were spread out under the table, and she followed them up towards where she was resting, turning her head to look up a broad chest to see Ben.

He was asleep, head tilted back onto the pillows, body slouched into a position that could not be comfortable. Rey slowly extracted herself from his lap and arm, perching next to him nervously.

Yesterday was a blur of bad news and tears. Were there tears? There was bad news and crippling debt, and then ice cream and movies and laughter. There had been lots of laughter between her and Finn and Ben. She could recall Ben falling asleep, could remember Finn pulling faces at her, and her swatting him to shut up and not wake him. She could remember BB-8 threading herself around Ben’s sleeping shoulders and then ... then she'd obviously fallen asleep too and Finn had gone to bed.

Perhaps it wouldn't be wise to tell Finn now that leaving her and Ben together probably hadn't been the best plan. He didn't know their past, so it wasn't his fault, but she could already imagine Poe's dramatic eye rolling when he eventually found out.

Ben stirred, mumbling himself awake.

Bleary eyes opened, head tilting forward with a louder groan.

'Morning,' she said softly.

She heard the crack from his neck as he turned to face her.

'Morning,' he said after a pause, brows knitting together in confusion. He turned to look at the ice cream, the TV, then back to her. 'I didn't mean to crash here.'

'I didn't mean to crash on you.' She agreed, feeling a flush crawl up her cheeks. She was at a loss of what exactly to do here. She stared at the blanket tangled around her and picked distractedly at a thread. He was warm where her knees still pressed into his thigh. 

'This is awkward.' Ben finally said. Rey huffed a laugh.

'Yeah, it really is,' she agreed.

'I don't want you to think I'm taking advantage of you or anything.' Rey looked up at him, studying his face as she let his words sink in. Was he? Or was she taking advantage of him? She drummed her fingers against her thighs as she traced the moles on his face with a curious gaze. It was a weird scenario and she didn't really know how to proceed. She wanted to make him feel better, sure, but not to the extent of sleeping with him. Again. But there was the history there, and what were they supposed to do? She felt awful, god awful, when she thought back on how she'd acted towards him. She tried not to, but laying in bed at night the memories would seep back in just as she was about to drift to off.

Rey had been a Class A cow and Ben had been nothing but sweet, in hindsight.

'I should go.' Ben said, moving to get up. Rey jerked out of her thoughts.

'No! No, you're probably starving, you didn't have dinner. I'll make you breakfast!' She was up before him, already heading into the kitchen. She paused for a moment when she saw the letter on the corner of the bench, feeling a strange emptiness when she considered it.

Rey pushed the thought away and began sorting through the fridge. She pulled out eggs, tomatoes, spinach and mushrooms. The smell of everything cooking would rouse Finn from his room, so she didn't bother trying to wake him just yet.

Ben perched himself awkwardly on one of the rickety island stools, watching as she whipped out pans and spatulas and plates.

'Do you need help?' He asked, hands resting nervously on top of the bench. Rey shook her head. She'd done this a thousand times, and would make it a thousand times more. She flicked on some toast and cracked a couple of eggs. Besides, she needed the activity to distract herself from the thought of waking up with her head in the lap of someone who, by all rights, should hate her. 

The only sound in the room was of her food preparations.

'Thank you for yesterday,' she broached before Finn interrupted them with his breakfast-seeking presence. 'But, why were you here?' She turned to look at him and saw his stricken features, eyes wide, mouth hanging open. He was the very image of panic.

'I shouldn't have come, I'm sorry, I just-'

'No, it's okay, seriously, I'm just ... we didn't have plans or anything.' She shrugged, she honestly didn't mind, he'd hauled her out of whatever well of misery she'd thrown herself into. She loved Finn dearly, but he couldn't pull her out of those. He could stop her at the edge, could distract and coddle and bribe her back to sanity, but once she was in her poor, sweet friend switched to panic mode. She'd seen him do the same for Poe on one particularly bad night a year or so ago. Fortunately Rey had talked them both back, but she'd had nightmares for a month after, horrible trauma induced dreams of grasping hands and pitch black rooms.

'We were given the night off.' He explained and she hummed her encouragement to continue the story. 'This sounds really pathetic,' he laughed nervously and she watched him run a hand through his hair, dark locks scattering back over his forehead the moment he lowered his palm. 'I don't really speak to my family and I don't have any other friends.' He tensed at the last word and she arched an eyebrow at it. She pointed her spatula at him, oil sputtering merrily in her pan of tomato and mushroom.

'You can come over whenever you like, alright? We're cool if you're cool with it. This is all totally up to you. I inadvertently ruined things and because of me you don't have your best friend. As long as you understand that we,' she flicked the utensil between their bodies, 'are just that. Friends.'

'You still don't remember?' She shook her head, deciding that the eggs were far more interesting to look at than his face while they discussed this. It was good to get it out in the open. Finn's tried and true method of talk it out. Rey hated how well it seemed to work.

'Like, dream flashes-'

'You dream about me?' His voice dropped an octave and she turned quickly. His elbow was on the bench, hand propping up his chin. Both eyebrows were raised, eyes amused. He was messing with her. Rey blushed.

'Hey, if you can remember the whole thing I'm allowed to dream.' She said with a bravado she didn’t feel. Ben shrugged and looked away, eyes skimming over the letter. She watched as he considered it a moment, before turning his attention away. 'Have you talked to Hux, since?' She asked and his face went strangely blank, closed off. 'So that's a no?' She hazarded a guess. His hands slipped into his lap under the bench.

'No.' He voice was cold, devoid of emotion. 'I haven't.' There was a long pause and the toast popped. 'But you have?'

'Oh, yeah I ... I kind of work for him again. He's my boss.' She didn't know what she expected. Laughter certainly wasn't it. A low chuckle filled the living space of her apartment as Rey slid eggs onto avocado smeared toast.

'I forgot. You told me before, on the phone.' Oh, yeah. When he'd called her at some ridiculous hour. 'It's funny how everything just sort of works out.'

'Works out?' She slid a plate of food in front of him and glanced at Finn’s door, frowning. He should be out by now.

'Yeah. You and Hux working together again, you and I meeting at a pub again. Kind of circular.'

'I don't want a repeat of circular,' she responded tersely, fishing out a knife and fork for them before slipping towards Finn’s room. She knocked loudly and pushed the door open. Empty. 'What time is it?' She called over her shoulder.

'Nine something, your clock doesn't have numbers on it.' Ben was peering at the analog clock beside the fridge. It was one of her restoration projects, although she hadn’t gotten around to replacing the roman numerals on the edges yet. Rey stared at the mess of rumpled covers and tried to think what day it was. 

'I forgot Finn was working today,' She mumbled, deciding that it had to be Wednesday and Finn always had morning shift on Wednesdays. Rey shrugged and turned back to her dishevelled guest. 'More breakfast for us, then.' She would make the best of this new situation. Of being alone in her apartment with a man she’d accidently spent the night sleeping on. Rey sat beside Ben, feeling dwarfed as she split up Finn’s portion onto their plates. BB-8 hopped up onto the counter to investigate the smell.

'You're okay working with Hux?' Ben asked after he'd emptied his plate. Rey fiddled with a spinach leaf, shredding it with her nails before popping it in her mouth.

'Better the devil you know, I suppose.’ Rey hadn’t wanted to think about it in too great detail. It was a job that paid well, that happened to be with Hux, and kept her out of debt. ‘I'm working with him and this other woman. She's pretty awesome. So it's not all Hux, and I'm sort of a PA, so I get to boss him around a bit.' Telling him what to do certainly made her day a little more enjoyable, and watching Phas do it was even more so. Without Hux there wouldn’t be Phas so for that, Rey supposed, she had to be grateful for how the whole scenario had played out.

'So you're friendly with him?' Rey made a point of stopping what she was doing to glare at him. Ben had enough decency to look embarrassed by his question. Rey didn’t appreciate feeling like she was under interrogation.

'I work with him. I don't hang out with him. Even if I did, _Ben_ ,’ she jabbed her finger at him accusingly, ‘it has nothing to do with you. Not really.' Even if she was friendly with Hux, and she supposed she was on a purely professional level, Ben had no right interfering with whom she spent her time with.

'Yeah, I know.' He ran his hands through his hair again, turning his head into a riot of black curls. 'So are you okay, after yesterday?' He changed the subject not so subtly. Rey slumped to the bench at the verbal reminder, pushing her empty plate away so she could rest her head in her arms.

'Plutt can go and die,' she grumbled. 'I thought it would be okay but obviously ...'

'Do you need help? Another job or to find a lawyer?' Ben asked. She shook her head, staring at the back of her closed eyelids as she listened to his rumbly voice.

This entire situation was crazy. Her ex-co-worker was sitting at her table being helpful and nice when she'd been nothing but mean to him. A drunken one night stand she couldn't really remember offering her emotional support. She didn't deserve this at all. This kindness from him, or the letter. She wasn't a saint by any means, especially not according to her ex-boyfriend, but she couldn't recall doing anything bad enough for fate to deliver this new mess into her lap.

'I need to figure it out is what I need to do.' She sat up quickly, jumping off the stool to run into her room and dig her phone out of her bag. She turned to find Ben standing awkwardly in the doorway, more than a little perplexed.

'What-'

'Work. Calling in, I need to figure stuff out. I always start late on Wednesday's because of class.' She was messaging Phas as she spoke. Better dealing with Phas than Hux ... although Hux knew of her situation and had met Plutt ... Rey chewed her bottom lip in consternation, mulling it over. No, she'd go through Phas. It was easier that way, and there'd be no awkward questions next time she saw Hux.

'Shouldn't you be in class, then?' Rey hit send and stared morbidly at Ben.

'Yeah. I should. Shouldn't you be with your band?'

'Yeah,' he echoed her. 'I should.' He stepped back to let her out of her room and back into the kitchen. He made himself useful by washing up the pans and plates. Rey leaned against the counter spinning her phone between fingers, watching as he worked. The man she had worked with in beige jumpers and tan pants, the man she'd seen on stage in black jeans and leather jackets ... neither of them fit with the tousle-haired man hunched over her kitchen sink, scrubbing egg off a spatula with a sponge that had seen better days.

She felt a twinge of guilt as she found the ripple of muscle under his T-shirt attractive.

Rey turned away as her phone pinged. Phas had responded with an OK and a photo of her pulling a horrified face over the pile of mail on Rey's desk. She could see a glimpse of Hux in the background, probably coming out to see why Phas was being obnoxiously loud in the hallway. She giggled and closed the message.

'Will you be okay by yourself today?' He asked as he pulled the plug out of the sink. Water gurgled noisily down the drain. Rey shrugged with a nod.

'Yeah, I'll manage fine. I just need to sit down and really sort through my finances, see if I can make anything work.' A huge, unwanted, next to impossible task. Rey already had a tight hold on her finances, but she could cut back on some of her loan repayments. She was already paying over what she had to, and surely there was a membership or two she might have forgotten to cancel, and health care. How important was health care, really? She scrubbed at her face before offering her best smile to Ben, who was now staring at her in concern.

'Okay then.' He sounded hesitant and she had to herd him towards the door. 'I'll see you later.' She shut the door on him and sagged against it.

She could hear his footsteps receding down the hallway towards the stairs.

She had done nothing to deserve Ben Solo. Nothing.

Rey dragged herself away from her the door, making sure to lock it, before heading to her room with BB-8.

\-----

Ben sat on the stool and watched Reg parade himself around the room.

They were all taking turned pretending to be Kylo Ren, singer extraordinaire, Mister too big for his britches, Mister I'm better than my band so I rock up half-way through rehearsals. He got, it was late. Really late. Whatever. They rehearsed every fucking day anyway.

'Was she hot?' Reg was jeering into the mic, chest stuck out and walking with an exaggerated swagger. So far only Toby hadn't gotten close, Ben mused. Toby had gone for the hair messing and the hip rolling, so he was winning the Kylo-contest so far.

Ben didn't bother dignifying that with an answer. They'd all been shocked to find out he wasn't even hungover.

'Come on man, tits out to here?' Reg held his hands in front of his chest. 'Huge arse? Or was it some skinny bitch? Come on man, lighten up would you?' He darted forward and smacked Ben on the shoulder. 'We've got another gig, hey? Found out this morning. Good news. More exposure.' Ben nodded and glanced at Pod. The kid was restringing his bass, but was watching them closely.

'Just slacking off now, are we?' Snoke said as he opened the door with a bang. He was in his usual black suit and tie, thinning hair scraped back over his scalp, beady eyes raking over the room. 'I thought you were supposed to be working on a new song.' One arthritic finger was raised to pointed in Ben’s direction. 'I hope that's where you were this morning.'

'No, I had something come up, sorry,' Ben mumbled, not wanting to admit that he'd fallen asleep on a girls couch and she'd cooked breakfast for him. Reg would drag him for it.

'That something better have been your father dying because this is a _business_ , Kylo, and in business you need to _work_ to earn your living. And I've noticed you haven't really been pulling your weight, recently.' Ben frowned up at him.

'I've been writing.'

'Shit, man, you've been writing shit,' Reg spoke up with a scowl. Ben levelled a glare at him, feeling his hackles rising. Reg had always hated the stuff Ben wanted to play. They had a fan base now, surely they could branch out a bit, explore a new style just a bit?

'It isn't shit. It's music, and I've been writing it like asked.' Ben snapped back defensively. ‘If you don’t like it, why don’t you start writing?’ He knew what the answer would be, it was always the same. Reg didn’t have a creative bone in his body. Oh, he could mimic, he could play well enough, but create? Reg’s expression was growing darker by the second. Snoke spoke before Reg could.

'There's no 'I' in band, Kylo. Write for all, not just yourself. The stuff you sent won't sell. Stick to what you've been doing.' Snoke was moving closer, crowding him, glaring down at him, beady eyes piercing. Ben scowled, skin crawling under the attention of the older man. He steeled himself and stubbornly met Snokes stare.

'Well perhaps Reg should try his hand at writing.' Ben turned his frustration to their Manager. Snoke barked a harsh laugh and waggled his finger at Ben as if Ben were nothing but a naughty child.

'Until you play ball with the rest of the band, boy, I'm penalising you two gigs’ worth of pay and the advance of your new song.'

'You can't do that!' Ben was on his feet in an instant. Pod had risen to his feet as well, eyes wide, mouth open. Adam and Toby were utterly silent. Reg was cross-armed and smug looking.

'I can, boy, and I will. Get your act together.' Although Ben towered over him, Snoke was somehow intimidating, face hard, voice harder. 'You will stop skipping rehearsals. Get your dick out of whatever whore you're fucking, cut back on the drugs and drinks and write some fucking music. Do your job and you'll get paid for it, understand?'

Snoke didn't wait for an answer because he expected compliance. He exuded the aura of a man used to getting his way. Snoke spun on his heel, deceptively agile for someone with such an aged gait. Fabric rustled in the silence of the room, swishing as he marched towards the exit, heels managing to click despite the carpet flooring.

Ben watched as Snoke exited the room, the door slamming behind him, wall rattling with the impact. Ben felt his shoulders slump, head tilting forward as he stared down at the toes of his shoes.

'Alright, you heard the man! Battle stations!' Reg hollered into the silence.

Ben begrudgingly took his spot and began rehearsals, mind spinning.

Seriously. He'd been docked for not writing what they wanted? The brief had been a new song to entice a bigger audience, and personally he thought he'd done it. Straddling that fine line between what the Knights already played and what he would prefer to play. He'd raked through notepads and folders of notes dredging up ideas, but apparently that wasn't enough.

He balled his hands into fists and snarled out the lyrics. Reg kept glaring at him every time Ben missed a cue or sang flat. Toby and Adam refused to make eye contact, as if too scared to be involved in the argument, evidently sticking to the ‘keep your head down’ way of avoiding conflict. It only frustrated Ben further. He could feel it straining against his ribs, battering to get out. Why did no one support him? Why was it Reg and Snoke’s way or the highway? What he wrote wasn’t bad. It was just different. Only Pod shot him the occasional sly thumbs up when Reg wasn't looking.

This had been his band, members collected out of an online ad. Now it felt like Reg was calling the shots, buddied up under Snoke and singing the old man's praises as if the old man was blowing him.

'Where the fuck is your head at?' Reg demanded on their fourth run through of their most played song, as if they needed to rehearse it anymore. If he had to sing about exploding stars any more, he'd probably explode. 'Where were you this morning?'

'None of your business.' Ben muttered, turning away, not wanting to start a fight. He could feel a headache starting, thudding dully against his temples. For a split second he missed Hux's lack of concern. The thought was pushed away as soon as it arrived and Ben concentrated on adjusting his mic stand.

'It is if you're late, man. Seriously, I know you don't talk to your family, and you aren't hung over, so was it some groupie? You weren't at home. I swung by to pick you up. You were not there. Where were you, Kylo?'

'What does it fucking matter?' Ben seethed into the microphone. Pain spiked in his skull, beating thickly with every frustrated swell of his pulse.

'I'm getting some water, you guys want any?' Pod asked loudly, setting his bass down on the stand and heading for the door.

'You're going to keep rehearsing,' Snoke's voice echoed through the room speakers, piercing the tension, causing static in Ben’s mind. Ben tried very hard not to glare at the glass window, looking in at the control room Snoke was currently inhabiting. 'Move onto the next song.' So they did.

Ben glared at a fixed spot on the wall and stewed over the lack of control he had on Reg. This had been his band and now somehow it was Reg's. Because of Snoke. Because they were making it big. He didn't want to make it big. He wanted to play the music he wanted to. He wanted to have fun, and this wasn't fun. It was fucking slave labour. Perhaps he could write the new song about that. See how much Snoke picked up from the lyrics. How much hate could be laced into the riff, the bass line? Ben reckoned he could do it. Stick it to the proverbial man. Stick it to Reg and Snoke while they sat in Snoke's office snorting lines and played nice.

Two gigs without pay, and no advance? Fuck.

'You're staying back.' Snoke was in the room before the end of rehearsal. Ben stared at him in confusion.

'No I'm not.' He said. Adam was already out the door, guitar case slung over his shoulder.

'Yes you are. You come in late, you work late. You owe me a song. You start working.' Ben stared at him for a long moment.

Toby slid out the door, calling for Adam to wait up.

'Fine.' Ben said, sitting down on an amp, arms folded. He probably looked like a petulant child, but he felt like one so that was fine. He was quite happy to be the picture of one. Let them know just how pissed he was.

He watched as Pod left without so much as a wave.

Reg left with Snoke, whispering together.

Ben pushed a stand over as he rose, savouring the loud clatter.

This was beyond fucked. He could write at home. He could write anywhere. Why did he have to stay in the studio? Was Snoke going to make him pay for that as well? Beyond fucked. Well, he'd write a fucked up song about this fucked up situation and make it angry. He'd make it savage and raw and Snoke could have a field day on it.

Ben slumped against the wall, pulling his bag towards him. It was full of pens and paper, half of it already covered in almost illegible scribbles.

He stared at a blank page and willed the anger to funnel onto the pages.

The anger that came wasn't at the situation, though.

It was about the past, and it burned like hell as his fingers flew across the page.

As he wrote he knew this wouldn't be a song, it couldn't be. It was too raw and honest and too much Ben, not Kylo.

He stared at the words he'd written, of Hux and Rey, and his lips curled in disgust. And then dismay. Because that wasn't Hux and Rey. That was Rey and the other man ... her scholarship denier, the one who gave her nightmares and kept her awake at night. He stared at the words, willing them to vanish, but they wouldn't. They just glared back at him with a rage he hadn't realised he felt.

How was it this one girl he'd met over half a year ago could incite so much protective rage and frustration? Ben inhaled deeply, exhaling slowly to try and calm himself.

It was like his whole life revolved around her, and had for awhile.

They’d started off on the wrong foot, but they were friends now. He stared at the words on paper, tracing out the shadow monsters and smiles with fangs, the friendly pat on the shoulder clawed into poisoned talons. Perhaps this explained some of her hostility, it made sense. He couldn’t imagine having to grow and cope with this hanging over your head. His early years had been full of arguments and fights, but that was nothing compared to these insinuations. Had her whole life truly been like that? He shoved the page into his bag, not wanting to look at it anymore. He'd hate himself, too. The urge to make it all better was almost overwhelming, and he wondered vaguely if Hux had felt it, too.

Perhaps.

Hux was a protector.

Ben leant his head back against the panelled wall, arms slung over his knees.

Hux.

Fucking Hux.

Fucking, beaten up Hux.

It had been a long time since he'd considered Hux. He hadn't wanted to face it, the glaring absence of the man. He'd spoken to Hux almost every day for years. Text messages, phone calls, whether to swear about something, complain about the weather, bitch about a TV ad. Hux had been there through the family trouble, the building of the band ... fucking Hux.

Ben pulled his phone out of his pocket and stared at it for a long moment.

Hux had protected Ben, up until Rey.

Had been a bitchy voice of reason, harping in his ear about overdue utilities, about eating more vegetables, about studying more.

The phone slid back easily and Ben stood up.

Fuck this. He wasn't staying late in an empty studio to write a song.

He wasn't going to dwell on Hux.

He was going to check on Rey and make sure she was okay, because Ben could look after his own damned self and perhaps help out a friend in need.

\-----

Hux looked up as the knocking continued.

Where was Rey?

He glared at the door, willing whoever it was to go away. He was busy. The deal wouldn't close itself.  
'Just come _in_!' Hux snapped as the door handle rattled with the force.

There was instant silence, and then the knob twisted and Mitaka from HR slid in, looking as nervous as ever.

'Afternoon, Sir,' Mitaka began, approaching the desk.

'What can I do for you?' Hux asked, folding his hands over the sensitive paperwork gracing his desk. He hadn't had a coffee all morning because Rey hadn't been in. When had he become so dependent on her for caffeine? He stored the thought away for later analysis. The sooner Dopheld Mitaka was out of his office, the sooner he could resume proofreading.

'Good news, straight from the top! Well, not really good news, but for you it is.' Hux watched the shorter man blather and wondered idly how Hux Senior put up with him.

'A promotion?' Hux straightened as he caught the word in Mitaka’s spiel.

'Well, yes. Your F... a Chairman had a stroke last night. He may die, actually. It's fairly awful. At the very least he won't be returning to work, and Mr. Hux wanted the position filled immediately. By you, to be specific..' Hux arched an eyebrow.

The news was unexpected. Not unwelcome, just unexpected. He stared down at what he'd been working on. This one deal would pale in comparison to what he'd work on now. Bigger blocks, bigger investment. More profit. And he'd be working directly with his father, a chance to finally prove to the old man that he had what it took.

'And Phasma and Rey will be joining me?' Hux looked up, pulling himself from his thoughts. Mitaka had the look of a deer trapped the headlights, wide-eyed and panicked.

'Phasma has a role, here-'

'Mitaka,' Hux kept his tone even. There wasn't much use in turning HR against him. 'Phasma would do very well higher up. I don't want her slaving down here when she deserves to be on a higher floor. If the CEO objects, ask him to look at her reports and margins, they are exceptional.'

'I understand Phasma, certainly, and it could be arranged, without a doubt, but the administrative role?' Mitaka looked helplessly down at the files in his hand. 'She's still contracted to work here, she'd just be shifted to another department.'

'Mitaka.' Hux said with the most authoritative voice he could muster.

'Yes, Sir?' Hux watched as Mitaka’s adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed nervously.

'She comes with us. If she needs to contractually stay on the same wage, then so be it, but draft up a new one for when that runs out with the appropriate pay and benefits.' Hux looked back at his computer screen. His back was ramrod straight, fingers so tense his knuckles were almost cracking as he pressed them against the keyboard. He was determined to progress them all.

He could see the smaller man opening and closing his mouth, utterly flustered by what he'd probably assumed would be an easy 'congratulations you've been promoted!' visit. Hux was prepared to wait, though. His Father wouldn't get rid of the Board position out of spite, not when he'd been grooming Hux to take over as CEO when the time came. No, he could wait for the arrangements for Phasma and Rey.

Phasma would be an asset. Rey ... well, he needed someone to water his plants and get his coffee. She was reliable, helpful, and he couldn't be the reason she lost another job. He owed her that much.

Mitaka left the door open as he left, which of course summoned Phasma. Hux watched as she smiled at Mitaka, bopping him lightly on the arm before her tall figure filled his doorframe. Mitaka spluttered for a moment, gawping after the tall blonde before collecting himself and scurrying away.

'A promotion, huh? Hanging with the big-wigs already? Can't say I'll miss you, though.' Hux internally rolled his eyes before facing the blonde. He quirked his lips into a half-smile as he saw the cocky arrogance that he so admired in her.

'You don't want to join me?' He offered. She laughed.

'Nice try, Hux. Those big boys don't like sharing with girls.'

'They'll have to learn then.' Hux answered airily. Phasma took several long strides into the office, her usual swagger dropped instantly.

'What?' She breathed. For the first time since he’d met her, Phasma looked at a loss for words. Her eyes were wide and glistening slightly.

'I mean, you won't be on the board, but you work okay, and I'll need someone to do all the sweet talking for me.'

'Hux, I don't-' and for once she was speechless. He propped his chin on laced fingers and studied her from under his eyelashes. He was enjoying the amazement, discomfort, stress and delight war across her face. He'd looked into her file within the first two days working together. She'd been with the company for almost a decade. A decade of ball-busting and extra hours for nothing other than a couple of meagre pay rises. The CEO didn't like women in office all that much, unless they were in short skirts and filing. Hux fancied himself a little more modern. That and Phasma was far more personable than him, and having her as his face would go a long way with prospective clients. Perhaps they'd even have to bring in a third person, someone good with customer relations and a talent at smelling bullshit and dealing with it promptly. He had one in mind, but part of him wondered if it would ever be able to eventuate.

'It's done, Phasma. Mitaka should be drawing up the paperwork for you to sign. How does a nice pay rise sound?'

'Like I could buy you dinner,' she breathed.

'I'll take you up on that once we've signed, then.' She nodded dumbly.

'And Rey, what will happen to her?'

'Give me some credit,' Hux looked at his nails with feigned indifference. 'I know you wouldn't leave without your girlfriend. She's coming too, or none of us are.'

'Far out, Hux. This is unbelievable. Do you have any idea how long I've been slaving away for the old man for nothing except a pat on the arse and a _'good job, sweet cheeks'_?'

'He really did that?' Hux asked, incredulous. Phasma nodded, settling herself into the chair across from him, long legs crossed at the knee.

'Work Christmas party three years ago. He'd had a couple and the secretaries were all hiding.' Hux scowled. His father's antics were reprehensible.

Phasma glanced at the work on his desk and leant forward, plucking pages out from under him. Hux allowed it. She'd see it all before, anyway. She clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth as she scanned the words, face carefully blank.

'This is a pretty good deal, a good initiative.'

'I think so.' Hux responded calmly. 'I'll keep on it until it's cleared and the properties have been attained for re-development, but the council has accepted the proposal already, so it's up to us now to hand out the offers.' Phasma nodded and leant back, stacking the pages neatly on the edge of his desk.

'So how big is my new office?' She asked as they waited for Mitaka to return.

\-----

Finn opened the door as Ben was about to knock.

'Oh, hey man!' Finn pulled him inside and patted him on the back. 'Would you believe I got home half an hour ago and got called back for another shift? They seriously need to hire another person. BB-8's been fed and Rey's in the zone, working hard. See you later!' Finn paused, pushing his head back through the crack, 'Thanks for yesterday. You were awesome. I appreciate it. I'll buy you a drink later!' And then the door was locked from the outside, leaving Ben standing alone in Rey's apartment.

The white and orange kitten was sitting on the back of the couch, staring at him.

'Hi.' Ben said.

BB-8 mewed softly.

'How was your day?' He asked.

The cat tilted its head and stared at him.

'Mine too.'

He wondered what Finn meant by 'in the zone'. Rey's door was open a crack, but he couldn't hear her moving. Perhaps she was still doing her finances, or studying? There was a sliver of light, so it seemed she was actually in there.

'Am I allowed to go in?' He found himself asking the cat. BB-8 meowed a little louder this time, bounding onto the floor with a soft patter of her paws. She wound through his legs and pressed her slim body through the gap in the door. 'So, yes then?' Ben asked the now empty room.

There wasn't really a manual for this kind of stuff.

Sure he wanted to make sure she was okay, but creeping in her shadowy apartment probably wasn't the best way to go about it. Instead he called her name as he pushed at her door, brushing his knuckles gently against the wood so as not to startle her.

BB-8 stared at him from her new spot on Rey's pillows. Rey herself was sitting cross-legged on the end of her bed, slumped in half, head in her folded arms and fast asleep. Ben froze, hand on the doorknob, uncertain of what he was supposed to do.

'Rey?' He called softly. She didn't move, her textbooks and notepads sprawled under her. Bb-8 mewled and stretched, fur rustling as her back arched. Ben glanced between the feline and the young woman and sighed.

She'd spent the previous night sleeping on a couch, he couldn't let her sleep on her desk tonight, she'd wake up with a horrible headache or sore shoulders or something. So it was up to him to wake her up and get her to move.

'Rey,' he tried again, crouching down beside her so his face was level with hers. The least he could do was not spook her with his height. Chestnut hair was falling into her face, nose crinkling as strands tickled her cheeks. He brushed it out of the way absentmindedly as he wondered what the best way to wake her would be.

He opted for placing a gentle hand on her shoulder and shaking lightly.

'Rey, you need to get into bed,' he mumbled, watching as her eyebrows creased slightly, eyelids twitching as she roused slowly.

'Mm, Ben?' She lifted her head and looked at him groggily.

'Hey,' he said dumbly. 'Finn got called back to work.'

'Oh.' He caught a glimpse of red indents in her cheek, where it had rested against her knuckles and the spiral binding of her notes. Her head flopped back to its original position and she sighed, hazel eyes barely open as she looked at him.

'You should get into bed and go to sleep.'

'I don't wanna be alone,' she whispered, closing her eyes.

'You've got the cat,' he said. Rey mumbled something and turned her head in the opposite direction. 'Finn will be back later.'

'Can you stay?' She said it so softly, barely a whisper, but he heard it anyway. It sent ice through his being, freezing him in terror. Staying wasn't a good idea.

With a surprising amount of energy Rey sat up and looked at him with clear eyes. She wrinkled her nose at him, eyes crinkling in the corners.

'Finn won't be back for hours, Ben. I'm tired, I want to sleep, but I can't sleep alone.'

'You were just now,' he pointed out, wondering why she was so insistent. 'I can go sit in the other room and watch TV or something,' he added hesitantly. Rey shook her head and dropped her gaze to her hands, which were clasped tightly in her lap. She chewed her lip and glanced back at BB-8, before focusing on her nails again.

'I'm scared,' she admitted softly.

'Of what?'

'Of the letter. Of him. I ... I get nightmares.' She swallowed visibly and he watched her throat bob, the muscles of her neck tightening and relaxing. There was a smattering of freckles that dusted the top of her collarbones. 'I was going to sleep with Finn tonight, but if he's working ...'

They fell into an awkward silence and Ben had no idea what to do. A large part of him was telling him to just get up and walk out and not look back. But that wouldn't be right. It wouldn't be right leaving her here to face her demons alone. Heavens knows he'd done enough of that himself, and those lyrics he's written were still floating cruelly through his brain, chanting at him the things that she'd gone through, things she'd never spoken of but hinted at.

'Sorry, it was stupid to ask. I know it's probably weird because of, well, you know.' She was still in her clothes from the previous day, he realised, her hair unwashed, and she smelt a little like BO and stale deodorant. She was picking at a torn nail, not making eye contact.

'It's okay. It's a bit weird.' He said. He didn't really know what else to say.

'You can go if you want.' She yawned widely, not bothering to cover her mouth, rolling her shoulders back. She tilted her chin up in a semblance of defiance at her own inability to protect herself. She was waking up properly now, grogginess sloughing off her as she straightened. 'I have course work to do, anyway.' There was still a hint of hesitation under the bruskness, though, he could hear the tiny sliver of fear as she contemplated being alone.

'You figured out your finances?' Her bottom lip trembled ever so slightly and he wished he could take the question back. 'I'll stay.' It was impulsive, irrational, dangerous, but to hell with all of it.  
Her eyes widened in surprise.

'You will?'

'Yeah. I get it. You can't be by yourself, so I'll stay until Finn gets back.' He watched as she tried to not look too relieved by his decision. 'But you should really go to bed. You look exhausted.'

'You know just what to say to cheer a girl up, don't you?' She said dryly, a smile flickering at the corners of her lips, before turning off her desk lamp. She scooted up the bedspread and arranged her head so she wouldn't disturb BB-8.

Ben looked at her for a long moment until she patted the bed beside her. Between her and the wall.  
If he got up he'd have to wake her, and she knew it. He rose and kicked off his shoes. Sleeping in jeans wasn't super comfortable, but he'd deal with it. His jacket was dropped unceremoniously onto the shoes before he climbed over Rey. He took care not to touch her as he navigated his limbs around the bed, her pillows and her. It was a little tricky in the gloom, but he managed it.

Rey turned to face him, hazel eyes dark in the lighting.

'I wish I hadn't been such a bitch to you when we first met,' she yawned, eyelids already drooping. She reached out and lay her hand over his. Her skin was warm, like sun-kissed sand.

'Well, technically-' he began, stopping at her slow smile.

'Thank you for being the better person,' she mumbled as she fell asleep.

Ben lay in terrified silence. She was impossibly warm, radiating waves of heat despite being under the layers of blankets he was lying on top of. His breath sounded too loud in the silence, his heartbeat too fast. Surely she could hear the blood roaring through his veins. Was he moving too much?

Rey rolled over, removing her hand and putting her back to him.

'I can hear you thinking,' she grumbled and he huffed a laugh.

'Sorry.' She sniffed and shuffled back a little, pressing herself almost flush against him.

Ben had stopped breathing altogether.

This was a fucking awful idea.

He was in no way over this girl and that wasn't fair on her.

'Just sleep.' She grumbled again. Ben stretched himself out, uncurling his legs, tucking an arm under his head. His upper arm had nowhere to go except over her waist or glued to his side, which wasn't particularly comfortable. He opted for the latter, though.

He inhaled deeply, smelling her shampoo, and the not unpleasant smell of unwashed Rey in days-old clothing.

He closed his eyes and fell asleep to the litany of 'don't do anything stupid'.


	23. Chapter 23

Ben awoke to the feeling of Rey curled into his stomach. She was a tiny ball, pulled into herself, fingers hooked into the fabric of his T-shirt. His arm was slung around her, with Rey’s knees drawn up so her shins were resting against his thighs. Her face was buried against his chest. And it felt good.

Stupidly, embarrassingly good.

He lay there for a long moment, refusing to let the panic creep in and destroy this strange occurrence.

He couldn't remember the last time he'd simply _slept_ with someone. He cast back, searching for the when. And then landed on it. Hux. In college. They’d fallen asleep after trying to pull an all nighter studying. That wasn’t something he wanted to dwell on now, though.

At some stage through the night Rey had kicked her blankets off, they were tangled down around the end of the bed around their feet. He could see a tuft of fur where BB-8 had made herself comfortable amongst them.

Ben tightened his grip around her, stretching out his arm, savouring the feel of her against him. She was hot, burningly so, but Ben enjoyed it, enjoyed the tautness of her body despite her sleeping state. He could feel the brush of her breath through his shirt, could feel the slight pressure of her nails against his chest. It was a strange sensation, having her so … defenseless in his arms. A surge of something like protectiveness roared through his veins, pounding thickly in his ears. 

'I have to go home today.' He flinched in surprise. He hadn't realised she was awake.

He looked down at a smattering of freckles and big eyes.

He'd have to move to another continent to try and get over this stupid girl. He thought he'd been getting over her, moving on. He was better at lying to himself than stopping himself from feeling anything for her.

'You kind of already are home,' he said, voice rough with sleep. She pushed back away from him, leaving his chest cold as she stretched her limbs out, exposing a flash of stomach. Ben looked back up at her face.

'No. I have to go back to Jakku, where I'm from. I need to ... I realised yesterday I have to talk to him. There isn't any way to stretch my budget so I have to go and ask him.'

'Can't you call him?' Ben asked, feeling the tickle of concern in his chest, quickly focusing on that instead of the other, more worrisome flutter. She shook her head.

'No. He'll react better in person.' He could see through the brave facade she was putting on. Rey was terrified of her realisation. No wonder she'd been scared of having more nightmares. Ben pushed himself up so he was sitting, hair falling messily into his face. He shoved it back and huffed. He didn't like the sound of her going back there at all.

BB-8 crawled into his lap, distracting his attention as the cat began to beg noisily for breakfast.

'I'll get you breakfast.' Rey said abruptly. Ben wasn’t sure if she was talking to him of the cat. She paused, in the process of slipping off the bed, catching sight of herself in her mirror. She tugged at the hem of her shirt, nose wrinkling in distaste. 'I'm going to have a shower, and then I'll get you breakfast.' He watched as she pulled clothes out of her cupboard, not quite meeting his eye, before vanishing out her door.

Ben flopped back, sprawling himself over her bed and closed his eyes, fingers rubbing between the pushy feline’s ears.

What was he supposed to do here? He couldn't just let her go alone to visit the man who seemed to be the source of all her nightmares. But did he have a right to go with her? He’d been a creep to her as well, once. Perhaps her house mate would be joining her, a close friend and a good shoulder to cry on. That thought settled him a little, allowing him to drift to other topics ... like Snoke and Reg.

BB-8 nibbled on his finger and Ben hissed in pain, withdrawing his hand for a moment to inspect for blood. Finding none, he returned to petting the cat.

‘She probably meant you, first,’ he assured the feline. ‘Food for you, the food for me.’ BB-8 meowed and pressed the corner of her mouth against his hand, pushing hard for more attention.

Ben sighed.

Reg was definitely out for control, and he could have it. Ben didn't care. He honestly didn't. Snoke and Reg demanded Ben write, and then refused to let him write what he wanted. They were no better than Mina, especially Snoke, with his expensive suits, flashing his money and then cracking the whip hard, demanding they stay the same. _Stop having ideas. Stop being selfish._ Kylo was the face of that band, the voice to the music. He was supposed to act and sell them all in a certain way. But Ben didn't want to do it forever. Did he even want to do it at all? The sleeping around, the drinking? Reg was doing drugs, and he was pretty sure Adam was in on it, too. Ben was over the hangovers, the unfamiliar places. He loved touring, spending hours chatting in hotel rooms, drinking tea and playing games, but the partying? He could put on a show, slip into his alter ego, but it wasn't what Ben wanted. Not truly. It was exhausting.

Ben sat up and headed into the kitchen. He could hear the shower running and decided to check the contents of the fridge. Perhaps he could make breakfast today.

The fridge was mostly empty, so he left that idea and settled himself on a stool instead. It felt safer, less personal than lying on her bed, waiting for her to come back.

Ben yawned and scrubbed at his face.

'You don't have any food.' He said as the bathroom door opened.

'I don't have any money and it's Finn's turn for groceries.' She walked past in a cloud of soap and steam, wet hair wound in a towel, dressed in leggings and a baggy jumper. Her usual outfit of choice, it seemed.

'Mm. Speaking of Finn is he, uh, going with you?' Ben called out after a pause. Rey walked back out of her room, sans towel and with a brush in hand, tugging furiously at a knot.

'I think he's working. Someone quit recently and he's had to work a lot of extra shifts.' Ben didn't like the sound of that at all.

'So you're going by yourself?' He clarified. She shrugged her shoulders and turned away from him, heading back into the bathroom. He couldn't see her face and knew it was on purpose as she stared steadfastly as something ahead of her. She was pretending she was okay, he could tell in the way she held her back, slightly rigid, shoulders straight. A girl on the defensive trying to play it off as nothing.

'I'll be fine. I used to live with him. Plutt's just ... you just need to know how to handle him. I can handle it.' She emerged again, hair now pulled into a ponytail. Ben studied her for a long moment, waiting to see if any cracks appeared, in her words, her tone, even her expression. When none did he shrugged his shoulders and pushed his hair out of his face again.

'I guess I'll come with you then.' It was impulsive and dangerous, like his decision last night. He had a gig, plus rehearsals, and Snoke wanted the song, but Ben didn't care. He wasn't about to let Rey walk into the hands of some pervert. Of this Plutt character, he amended, recalling quickly that she hadn't been overly fond of Ben, either. Possibly still wasn't. Not really. He quickly focused his attention to her reaction, not wanting to think about the past now.

There wasn't much of one, not really. Her face screwed up in thought for a moment.

'Don't you have work?' She asked, head tilting in question. Ben shrugged noncommittally. 'I don't want to impose on you. You don't owe me anything, you know. Nothing. At all.' She was studying him just as closely, scrutinising his face, as if she were trying to see if he were stringing her along for his own amusement.

'I know. I just don't want anything bad to happen.'

'It's a long trip.' She said slowly, still watching him. 'We'll have to public transport it, a bus and then a train and then another bus.'

'That's okay.' He assured her.

'It'll be an overnight thing.' She added. 'Transport doesn't run late out in Jakku. It's too small a town.'  
'I haven't heard of it.' He said, wracking his memory for a town by that name. He came up blank, and instead focused on what she was telling him. Rey had moved to sit beside him on a stool, her hands clasped on her knees.

'No one has, really,' she agreed. 'It's close to the city, but not too close. A lot of poor people, I guess, so not many people go there. It's not really a tourist destination.'

'You can say no to me going with you, it's okay.' He said, recognising all the outs she was giving him. ‘If you need to do this by yourself, you can.’ He didn't care about the overnight, or the long trip. He'd spent days trapped in a car with four other guys and a shit tonne of musical equipment, a genuine safety hazard roaring down motorways. Sitting on a train with a small woman and a couple of backpacks was hardly a daunting prospect in comparison. Especially considering what was awaiting her at the end of it.

Rey smiled weakly. She hadn't looked up at him as she'd spoken, focused instead on the small freckles that dotted the backs of her hands.

'What are we doing, Ben?' She asked.

'What do you mean?' His heart hammered hard in his ribcage at her question, blood pounding in his ears as ice poured through his veins, stabbing panic into his very core. He felt himself go rigid as he started riffling through the past day, searching desperately for a misstep. Had it been because he’d showed up unannounced … twice? Should he have gone home the first night? Gone home last night? Was he not supposed to have stayed? 

'Just ... us. In general.' She looked up then, hazel eyes dry and curious. Rey nibbled her bottom lip for a moment before releasing it, back straightening with determination.

'We're friends, I guess?' He offered lamely, resisting the urge to look away, to look at anything other than Rey. Small curls were already springing free of her ponytail and curling around her ears. He cursed himself for noticing. Friends weren’t supposed to notice that about friends. A nice smile, shadows under the eyes, a haircut, not the shape of the freckles next to her left eye, or the way her right cheek crinkled more when she spoke.

'And that's all?' She pressed. Ben sighed heavily. He couldn’t read what she wanted from him. Was it her nerves and anxiety kicking in? Her natural defensiveness at his offer to be there for her? He could understand it, of course he could, if that’s what it was.

'Rey-' he said then stopped, thinking for a moment, trying to pick the right words. 'I want to help you.' He said finally. 'I feel bad for you, I guess, but it's not pity.' He added quickly as she opened her mouth to object. 'I just want to make sure you're okay. After what you told me about this guy, I don't think you should be alone with him. I'm not the best person to go with you; Finn should probably be the one, but I'll do what I can since Finn’s not able to.' He had no idea if what he was saying made sense. He didn't even really know what he was saying. It was just a rambling mess pouring helplessly from his mouth.

Rey placed her hand on his arm. Her touch was warm, melting his chilled nerves.

'Thank you for wanting to be my friend.' She said it so sincerely and honestly that he felt himself thaw completely, panic ebbing away. 'If you're happy to put up with me then I can't say no to the company. I ... well, I didn't really want to go alone. I'm really glad you offered.' And then she was slapping her hands against the counter and bouncing to her feet. 'And on that note,' she said so loudly it made him flinch, 'I'm going to get my stuff ready because we should leave as soon as possible. I want this nightmare over with. Do you need to go home and pack?'

Ben looked down at his sleep rumpled clothes and shrugged.

'I'll be fine.' He said with a small smile.

\-----

Jakku, as it turned out, was a shit hole.

Ben couldn't help but stare as the train had taken them from city to suburbs, darting through black tunnels and fence lined tracks to green pastures and then ... nothing. After a smattering of rocky gorges the world had become flat and dry and arid. A desert stuck behind cliff walls.

Rey had sighed heavily and looked back at the book in her trembling fingers. She’d been incredibly quiet the entire trip. Ben had tried in vain to draw her out of her shell with questions about where they were, what it had been like leaving home for the first time, with stupid little stories from his gigs. None of it had worked, though, and she sat with trembling hands, pretending she was okay. She’d been staring at the same page for an hour. 

The bus had driven them a surprisingly short distance from the otherwise isolated station, bouncing over potholes and poorly maintained asphalt. Ben was surprised he didn't see any tumbleweeds blowing past.

It was only them and the driver. The rest of the bus was empty.

As they pulled into town he could see why.

It was old. The town a shambles of dilapidated buildings, ancient amenities and rotting telegraph poles. It had once been a thriving place, he could see it in the details on the library building, on the dead clock on the town hall, the cornices and window frames. The roads were wide, lined with shitty cars missing hubcaps and windscreen wipers ... hell, even windscreens. Garbage clumped in the gutters, slipping through rusted trash cans. Scrawny pigeons clung to wilting power lines, rocking gently in the breeze. The fountain in the town centre was a monolith of cracked concrete, stained brown and black and scrawled with graffiti. Even from a distance, Ben could tell it had run dry a long time ago. The park was brown and weeds, seating corroded metal frames, trees cracked and wilted. Several stores were boarded over, smashed windows and crooked doors. The few that were still in business had enormous grates protecting their storefronts, tiny green signs tentatively claiming they were open. Jakku was a place for the destitute.

They paused to watch the driver start smoking out his window when they got out at the sole bus stop.

Rey shouldered her small backpack and they began to walk.

'It's, uh, a nice place.' Ben said dumbly. The sun was already tracking well past midday, skewing shadows over their side of the footpath as Rey took them away from the centre of town. She laughed.

They saw no one as Rey led him down urine and dumpster filled alleyways, slimy puddles giving way to gravel roads as they hit the back streets of this tiny hell hole.

Ben tried to imagine what it had been like growing up here. He wondered what she was thinking, what she recalled when she looked at the cracked bricks and flaking concrete. Did the faded graffiti murals mean anything? The buildings? Had she ever spent time around the fountain? His own childhood had been trees and gardens and rain storms, books in front of warm fireplaces. There had been arguing, tension, disagreements, but there had been so much life. So much comfort and activity. He stared up at barred windows and padlocked doors.

Rey led him onwards, footsteps confident, back straight, hands hooked on the straps of her backpack.

'This is where I had to work.' She said abruptly, shattering his thoughts. Rey had stopped and was staring across the gravel road at a huge plot of cracked earth and sizzling, rusted vehicle carcasses.

'There?' Ben asked, wondering if it had really aged that much in the few years she'd been gone.

'It looks the same,' she said, as if reading his thoughts. 'I was really little as a kid, so he'd sent me into the middle of that pile there,' she pointed at an enormous stack of cars, which just promised they were filled with tetanus and poisonous animals, teetering precariously atop one another. 'I'd have to pull out anything of value I could find. He forgot I was in there once and had a new delivery chucked on top.' She said it so matter-of-factly, voice almost childlike as her eyes scanned over her past. She was running her hand over her side, apparently unaware she was doing so. It didn't take Ben much to assume she'd been injured and scarred in that particular fuck-up of her childhood.

Ben studied the mini-mountains of metal and plastic, contained by a drooping chain-link fence. The entrance had a large, faded board that read 'Plutt's Yard'. Rey’s hand drew his attention to the neighbouring building. A weathered two-story thing of sagging awnings and cracked panes. The front steps were shattered, balustrades jagged wooden teeth, letterbox crumpled and drowning in tenacious, browning weeds. Torn lace curtains fluttered out open windows, yellow-stained and ratty.

'He used to be married, you know,' she said conversationally. 'I never met her. She died before I came, but that's why the house looks okay. She did all the decorating.' Then her lip curled in disgust. 'He was always disappointed I wasn't good at that.' Ben stared up at the curtains and his frown deepened. The building was somehow in a worse state than anything he'd seen here in Jakku so far.

Rey inhaled deeply and he watched as she rolled her shoulders back, head tilting side to side, cracking her neck. She was physically preparing herself for what was to come next. Ben swallowed thickly, apprehension suddenly clawing through him.

'Let's get this out of the way.' She said bravely. 'Maybe we can make the last train after all.'

They awkwardly navigated the death trap Plutt seemed to consider stairs, wood creaking loudly under his weight and shifting uncomfortably underfoot. Ben wondered how the man could have been awarded children of the state. The place was a minefield of hazards. Jagged shards of glass had been glinting in the soil of the front yard. Ben was fairly certain some of the stains coating them had been dried blood, not dirt.

Rey didn't knock at the door. She simply turned the handle and walked in. Her shoulders were hunching with each step, shrinking in on herself as the dim hall began to swallow her frame. If the outside was bad, the inside was abysmal.

Striped wallpaper was flaking from the walls, mouldy and stained, tatters rustling underfoot as they kicked up dirt and disturbed packets of chips and empty cans of beers. A shattered mirror hung crookedly from one hook. Cobwebs dangled from a water-stained ceiling, thick with bugs and spiders. It reeked of sweat and decay. Yellowing pictures clung tenaciously to the walls, partially anchoring the wallpaper. Ben glanced at them as they passed, dim, flickering wall sconces adding barely any light.

The frames contained yellowing letters denoting the suitability of the establishment, permits and allowances for the health and safety of children within the walls of the building and under the care of a Mr. Unkar Plutt. The wording was so faded, emblems so old, and glass so dusty that he could barely read them, let alone see if there were dates attached or any restrictions applied. And then there were images of children. Dozens of children, boys and girls, standing on the wilted balcony in various forms of decay, all with a man that grew increasingly larger with every image. And in most of them was a young, scrawny girl with sunken eyes and prominent cheekbones, wedged tightly under a flabby arm.

'This way.' Rey said quietly, footsteps soft over a rug that was mostly just the brown twine of the under-mat, edges still a vague pink that may have been the original colour.

'Shouldn't we have knocked?' Ben asked nervously. He felt like a thief, walking through someone else's house. He wondered how Rey was keeping it together when he felt ready to turn and bolt.

'I know where he will be.' Rey said instead, turning away from an ancient staircase and leading him past a series of locked and bolted doors, towards the back of the house.

They found Plutt in the back room, his mass situated in an arm chair, wedged in somehow behind a desk and a computer. The sound left little to the imagination about what the man was currently viewing. He wasn't in any rush to turn it off, either, when he saw them walk through the doorway.

Beady eyes gleamed in delight as he looked up, catching sight of Rey, jowls trembling as his face contorted into what might have been a grin. Saliva-slick cheeks and chin worked into the shape of a smile as he leant back, one arm still under the desk, mercifully out of sight.

'So you got my letter then,' he rumbled, a vicious hunger overtaking his face. Rey settled herself onto the rickety chair across the desk from him. Ben folded himself down beside her. The chair creaked uncertainly at his weight, the uneven legs wobbling and tilting him slightly to the left.

'I did.' Rey's voice was soft and child-like, and Ben glanced at her in concern. Her hands were wedged between her thighs, face stony as she glared at the creature in front of her, lips a thin line, face pale.

A slug-like finger trawled over the mouse and clicked.

The wet slaps and exaggerated moans were cut off.

His hidden hand slid to the top of the desk, fingers lacing together as Plutt leant forward again.

'I do apologise, of course, but times are rough and you owe me what you owe me. If you can't pay it back I can come to certain ... agreements.'

Ben could feel his chest constricting, panic and rage burning hot within him as this monstrosity openly propositioned the woman that had been his ward. How was this fair, or right?

'The due date is unreasonable.' Rey's voice was calm and to the point. Plutt's eyebrows rose, mouth opening in a mockery of surprise.

'Oh dear, that is what my lawyer said. I'm afraid I can't move it back. I have bills, you see. I need the money as soon as possible.'

'I just need some more time and I can start clearing my debt with you.' She said.

'You still have your course fees though, don't you? And rent. Dear girl, how will you afford to survive?' And then Plutt turned his attention to Ben. 'With this man? What happened to the last one? Suck him dry and move on? At least the last one looked like a businessman. Can't say much for your taste in boyfriends.'

Rey stiffened at his words but Ben dismissed them. Dismissing the implications that Rey was having men pay her way for her. He didn't like what Plutt’s tone and he was trying hard not to care. Because it was Hux, right? He was talking about Hux? The business type? That made sense. Hux to the rescue. Good old Hux. Ben clenched his fists. If Hux hadn't fixed this, how was Ben supposed to? Rey was trembling slightly.

'I can make this work, I just need some more time. Another month and I can give you a huge chunk of it.' Ben knew she was lying through her teeth, he could see her knuckles going white as she transferred her grip to the seat of the chair.

'I'm not having the woman I helped raise sell herself for money! That's what he is, right? He's definitely not a lawyer.' Plutt was leering, glasses sliding down his nose as his forehead gleamed with sweat. Thin tendrils of hair were slipping out of the attempted comb over, hanging greasily around his ears.

'I can't afford a lawyer, you know that,' she snarled. Ben was glad her anger was rising. He was starting to have trouble containing his.

'I'm not paying her for sex,' Ben couldn't stop himself from snarling too, unable to contain his frustration. Plutt looked at him lazily, as if he were surprised Ben could speak.

'A boss, then, perhaps. You have that look about you, I suppose. Not that I'd know, of course,' and he laughed wetly at his own private joke. Ben’s stomach turned sickeningly, bile rising in his throat at the implications. 'It doesn't matter, of course. It's hardly surprising she'd have a few sniffing around after her. She's quite the looker. I'm very fortunate to have had her placed in my care. Took great pride in raising her. One of my best, you know? A lot of the others are jailed, did you know that, Rey? Because of me you got to get an education! Not everyone is so lucky.'

'You're disgusting.' Ben said before Rey could open her mouth. Her head snapped in his direction, eyes going wide with surprise. Plutt hummed and leant back, chair groaning, folding his hands over his protruding gut. His shirt strained with the motion, stained fabric pulling taught at the row of buttons.

'You only have two options as I see it, Rey. Pay me what you owe, or come back to me and work off your debt.'

\-----

Rey was on her feet, locking her knees to stop herself from crumbling to the floor.

This had been a mistake.

A huge mistake.

She should not have come.

She should not have come at all.

Ben was radiating anger, hot and violent, muscles rigid, fists clenched, jaw locked into a scowl that twisted his usually placid face.

'Let me make a call.' She said, trying hard not to sound as desperate as she felt. Her voice had stayed surprisingly level so far. Her whole life she had trained herself to speak that way, but she was out of practise and feeling incredibly out of her depth here.

Hux.

Plutt had mentioned Hux and given her an idea. Her only possible hope for salvation.

Oh, it would ruin her for the next few months, but it was a chance. He'd helped her before, certainly he could try and pull some strings?

'To who?' Plutt swung his head back towards her. She could see the malevolent joy he was getting from Ben’s rage, feeding off it, because Plutt had the upper hand here, and he knew it.

'Give me a moment,' she said, already pulling her phone out of her pocket and turning away. She didn't care that she was exposing her back, or her arse, to him. She just needed to get out and stand in the street and call Hux.

She didn't run. She walked steadily, hands trembling, breathing a little shaky, but she didn't run as she stepped out into the sunshine, footsteps crunching on the gravel road.

Rey stood in the driveway to the junk yard and hit dial. She stared fixedly at a rusted nail head, bent and rusted in the post holding up the sign, willing the phone to connect faster, to ring faster. 

'Yes?' Hux sounded surprisingly energetic, picking up on the fourth ring.

'Hux?' Her voice broke traitorously over the one syllable.

'Rey?' She could hear Hux’s instant confusion and a hint of concern. 'You have the day off, why are you calling?'

'I need to ask a favour, Hux. It might sound crazy,' Rey replied, digging her feet into the hard earth, free hand twisting the fabric of her shirt into tight twists.

'What?' He asked. Rey almost smiled at the gruffness. As eloquent as ever. She felt grateful to him, suddenly, that their past hadn't clouded their current interactions, that they could spend their days politely and with something venturing back into possible friendship. Perhaps this would work.

Her stomach fluttered butterfly wings of hope.

'I need a forward on my paycheck. Two, if possible.' She held her breath.

'What?' He repeated. 'You what?'

'I really need the money now, Hux. If you can, if the company allows it, a two month advance of my paycheck.' She tried to ignore the trembling in her hands as she spoke, her phone jittering against her ear, unable to hold it steady. At least her voice was holding, cracking only slightly. It was far better than tears or giggling or nothing at all. At least she was feeling. Feeling was not shutting down, feeling was good, even if what she was feeling was a horrible nausea clawing up her stomach and into her throat, coating her tongue with thick bile. Feeling meant she was in control and she could stay in control. 

'What is this about, Rey?' He demanded, tone clipped. She could imagine him scowling, eyes pinned unseeing on his monitor, knuckles white on the receiver as he hissed the question. 'Is this about your debt?' Imagining him in the office helped her a bit, centered her, because he was doing his daily thing, probably drinking his coffee, going about his normal Hux life. He wasn’t desperate or panicking so she didn’t need to be. She could be strong and reasonable and calm. Perhaps she could be Hux through this.

'New old debt,' she said, not really wanting to explain, but knowing she had to in order to convince him. 'It's Plutt.' She said, breathing out the name heavily. Her skin was crawling, she felt dirty, filthy, like she would never be clean again, that she would never be able to scrub off being here again. 'He had a lawyer send me a demands, and it's due soon. Hux, I need the money so I can stay in the city, so I can stay with Finn and stay working for First Order.'

'Why didn't you come into work and ask me in person?' Hux’s voice had gone cold and she knew she was losing him. She scrambled to explain, seeing the chasm begin to yawn open before her. She couldn’t lose him. He was her last hope.

'I had to go home, to see him.'

'You're with Plutt now?'

'Yes.'

The connection ended.

Rey stared at the screen of her phone, stomach dropping heavily. And then the tears started to cloud her vision. She blinked them away furiously, refusing to cry. The signal was bad out here, just a drop in the service. That was all.

She dialed again, but there was no response. It simply rang and rang and rang.

Rey turned and stared at the house she had grown up in.

She'd had a vague sense of optimism, with Ben beside her, as she'd faced her past. She could do this, she could march up those stairs that had gifted her so many splinters and cut toes, down the hallways she'd been thrown through and pressed against, into the back room where he'd leered and mocked at her, where he'd made her stand for hours on end in her underwear in the freezing cold of winter because she hadn't worked hard enough and had kicked up a fuss about not being allowed to go to school because of it. She had thought that she would be able to go in there and demand an extension and that he would give it to her. That she could beat him.

But no.

Hux had said no.

She had no money.

She had no way of getting a loan.

Rey had lost.

As she managed to haul herself through the oppressive doorway she heard a raised voice. Ben's raised voice. Her heart hammered in her throat. Plutt hated yelling. He hated scenes. He hated confrontation. He would make her pay for Ben’s antics. Rey raced through the halls and came to a stop just inside the room.

The computer screen was smashed against the ground, all six feet plus of Ben towering over the desk, physically shaking with rage. Rey inhaled sharply, already imagining the damage being added to her tab.

'Ben,' she breathed softly.

Plutt was on his feet, too, anger twisting his face, teeth bared as his entire body heaved with each breath.

'I could call the cops on you!' Ben was halfway through roaring, 'What you've done is disgusting!'

Plutt sneered in response, gesturing at the destruction.

'And tell them what? That you broke into my house, threatened me and destroyed my property?'

'Ben.' Rey said a little louder, snagging a sliver of his attention, his body angling slightly between her and Plutt. She was terrified of this new version of Plutt. He had always been so calm and collected, vile for his ability to appear so unaffected by whatever he was having her do. But the anger, the hate that was rippling through him in ruddy waves of red flushes and wobbling gestures, Rey didn't know how to calm this beast, or how to deal with it.

'You fucking try.' Ben said, tone like death, dripping venom as he backed up a few steps, bringing him closer to Rey. She grasped the back of his jumper and pulled, tugging out of the room, the house. She couldn't be in there anymore as Plutt's attention focused solely on her, his eyes boring into her, through her, seeing what he wanted to under the layers of her clothing, stripping away her flesh and laying her bare before him until she was standing on the street, cheeks wet and tears dripping from her chin. 'I'm sorry, I'm sorry,' Ben was chanting, pulling her into his chest and rocking her gently back and forth. But she couldn't make a noise. She was unclean. Unwanted and unneeded and unclean.

\-----

Ben slid his wallet back into his pocket and headed back to the small armchair to collect Rey. She was so small and fragile, a whisper of the thing he'd spent the day travelling with.

He'd tried for the train, of course, but the bus driver, still smoking, had shaken his head. Service was cancelled, they'd have to wait until tomorrow. The driver had then ashed in the direction of the one hotel that doubled as a corner store and Chinese takeout. The decidedly not Asian owners had rattled off prices and Ben had blanched. For a backwater dive they certainly expected a lot when the vending machine in the corner wasn't even stocked and their fake plants were bowed under dust. Two singles had cost infinitely more than he knew he and Rey would be willing to fork out, and the double room was barely acceptable if they split the cost. He opted for barely acceptable, not really willing to leave the girl alone to her own thoughts in a separate room. He'd almost had to carry her here. She'd withdrawn into a shell, some form of shock.

He wondered if he should call Finn, but Ben quickly recalled how Finn had acted when Rey had received the letter and banished the idea. Finn would be of little help here. If he could even _get_ here.

So here Ben was, standing in a crappy hotel foyer, offering her a hand and pulling her into his side. He led her up a faded staircase, down a long, narrow corridor and to their room. It was at the far end, away from the entrance and the restaurant that Ben bet probably made an absolute bucket load of absolutely no money whatsoever. That being said, it would probably be their dinner.

The room itself was pokey: a double bed, walnut chest of drawers with an ancient CRT television hunkered on top, and a small table with two chairs that looked as if someone had stolen all the stuffing from them. A small door led into a smaller ensuite. The shower head was at Ben's neck, and was probably too low for it to even be comfortable for Rey.

He sighed.

They wouldn't be showering, anyway. He hadn't brought anything, and all of her possessions had been left at that hell hole she’d once called a home.

Rey sank onto the bed and stared at her hands. Her face was puffy, eyes rimmed red, but at least she wasn't crying anymore. Ben couldn't stand crying.

'I'm sorry.' He offered lamely, pulling a chair up so he could sit in front of her. 'I shouldn't have ... done what I did.' He should have. He should have done more, but Rey couldn't know what that vile creature had said about her.

He shuddered at the memory, still fresh. At the way that thing had leant forward, pushing his glasses back up his nose. He'd said it so conspiratorially too, so ... personally.

'So you're her new fling, right?' Plutt had hissed softly, breath coming in little pants as his face had broken into a thick sweat. His hands stretched across the desk, as if to grasp Ben’s, and Ben had been suddenly hyper aware of exactly what one of those hands had just been fondling. 'She's a good little girl, trained really well, isn't she?' He'd continued spouting shit, as if he was unaware of how angry his words had been making Ben. It had been hard not to crunch his fist into the soft cartilage of Plutt’s nose, driving up and back and do some serious damage.

Ben still had the crescent marks in his palm from his nails biting deep, fists shaking from the restraint. But Plutt hadn't shut up. Oh no, he'd been entirely all too comfortable with describing Rey like a piece of meat. So much so it gave Ben the uncomfortable idea that he wasn't the first to be talked to this way, that perhaps it hadn't just been Plutt, that there had been others.

'She has a bit of attitude at first,' Plutt had looked like he was almost drooling at the thought, 'But she drops it pretty quick when you show her what's what. You know what I mean? Put her in her place, set out the rules and she's very obedient. But you'd know about that, right?' What Ben knew was that no one could tell Rey what to do. No one could set out the rules because she made her rules and broke them as she saw fit. That she was being spoken about like this was abhorrent, and then Plutt had begun talking about a scar on her thigh, really high up, so high up Plutt should have no idea it looked like a star, so high up that he shouldn't even be talking about it, let alone bragging about helping her keep it clean and uninfected. About one on her chest when she was older, that he'd done the same for. He didn't say how she got the scars, but Ben could guess. Oh, he could guess that star shaped scars weren't that easy to come by and red hot rage had swept him into action.

'I don't know what to do, Ben.' Rey’s soft voice pulled him out of his thoughts. He looked up at her, ashamed for the momentary lapse in concentration.

Ben held his hands out before him, offering them to her without actually touching her. Small fingers slipped into his and squeezed gently. He pulled them into his lap and ran his thumbs over her knuckles.

'We'll figure it out, okay? I'm here for you.' Ben waited patiently as she looked up at him slowly. She looked exhausted, hair hanging limp about her face, eyelids drooping, mouth slack. Ben found himself frowning at her and quickly stopped in case she thought it had to do with her. It was more his finances, about the gig he was definitely not going to make in the next hour, at the loss of income about to hit his pay account. But Rey was worse off. He could cover this much for her. Every little bit helped, right? Perhaps he'd have to somehow find a secondary job, or maybe write a whole fucking album just to reinstate what Snoke had taken away. Do it the way _they_ wanted.

'Thank you for coming with me.' She whispered and he squeezed her hands again.

'What if,' he paused, and it was a long, heavy pause that actually drew her slightly out of herself, concern spreading across her face as he stared at her shoulder, trying to actually voice the suggestion. 'What if,' he started again, 'I contacted my parents?' It sat heavy in his gut and he knew he had no right to be feeling like shit when she was dealing with _this_.

'Your parents?' She asked in confusion.

'Yeah, I ... well, I could ask to borrow money from them, for you. Like a loan, but no interest. You could just pay me back when you can.' She squeaked, actually squeaked at his words, horror making her lean forward and clutch him tightly.

'You can't!' She gasped. 'You can't do that!'

'Why not?' He would, if it meant saving her from that man. He still remembered his parents mobile numbers and the landline. He would call his mother right now and ask her for money, he would go through the endless questions, the blame games, the doubt and tears and guilt and get the money so Rey could be free.

'I don't know them. I can't rely on someone else! How is that any different?' He could see the stress and panic building again, overwhelming her, and so he hauled her forward, pressing her into his chest.

'Breathe Rey. Forget it, okay? Just breathe, I'm here.' He rocked her slowly as she curled up in his lap, hands fisting in the front of his shirt.

After what felt like an eternity on his back she untangled herself from him with a heavy sigh. The chair was incredibly uncomfortable, but she hadn't stopped shaking and he'd been terrified to move or even really speak to her. All he could do was sit and rub his hand in large circular motions on her back, rocking gently. His phone had lit up multiple times with missed messages and calls, and he was glad he'd switched it to silent and tossed it away so he couldn't see the enraged messages of Reg and Snoke.

'You never talk about your family,' she sniffed, rubbing her hands up and down her arms. Ben wondered if she was still in shock or something. Rey was still in his lap, leaning back to look up into his face. She was a mess of hair, flushed cheeks, pale lips and red eyes.

'I don't speak to them. But how about we hold that thought and I get us some food?' Rey visibly perked up at the concept and Ben smiled. He picked her up easily and deposited her on the bed before stretching. His back and shoulders cracked noisily over the drone of the air conditioning. 'I saw a menu next to the bed, by the phone.' Rey turned to where he was pointing, at the ancient cradle perched on top of an equally outdated beside table.

In one swift movement Rey had the menu in her hand and was already scouring it.

'I'm paying, so order whatever.' Ben said, and he meant it. He could live off bread for a week or two. Rey needed comfort food. She was wrinkling her nose as she read.

'I forgot how awful this place was,' she mumbled, but she was already tapping at various items as she mentally stored them for suggestions.

'I'll have a beef chow mein, if they have it,' Ben said, pointing again at the phone. Rey squinted at him for a moment.

'Honey chicken, fried rice, anything else?' She asked, sounding more and more like herself. Ben wondered if that was the way to get her out of a bad mood, as well, just offer her food.

'A stir fry? Some veggies?' He suggested and she nodded, taking control as she flopped onto her stomach and wiggled her way to the phone. He watched as she spun her finger round and around to dial each number with a clack and a ding.

He was supposed to be on stage tonight, performing, doing what he'd left home to do. Instead he was here, feeling decidedly almost broke and helping out a friend in need. It felt good. Better than good. He couldn't imagine being on stage right now, knowing that she was here, struggling alone. He'd made the right call. He wasn't even going to be paid tonight anyway, so why should he, the singer, be there anyway?

'They said go down and pay at the desk in half an hour.' Rey said, crawling back towards him. She huffed as she rested her head on her folded arms.

'Okay.' Ben said.

'And your family?' He couldn't stop the lop-sided grin at her tenacity.

'My Mum used to be a politician, and my Dad was ... is always in trouble with the law. Fraud, smuggling, you name it, he's probably done it.' Ben sighed and dragged his hands through his hair. Rey continued staring at him.

'You don't talk about them because of their jobs?' She pressed when he didn't elaborate. Ben laughed. It felt stupid, talking about this given the current situation.

'They, well, _Mum_ wanted me to go to law school, possibly follow in her footsteps. I wanted to write music. Dad didn't think that was great. He wanted another politician so he could keep running his scams. They always argued, divorced, too. Twice, you know? They've been married three times. I think. Maybe four, I can't remember now.' Rey huffed a disbelieving laugh. 'So there was a little bit of tension and I left home.'

'And never spoke to them again?'

'It's pretty stupid, yeah.' He admitted and raked his hands through his hair again.

'Not really.' She pushed herself up into a sitting position. 'It was serious for you. It's different. Everyone has different things.' She gestured around the room. 'I wish I had your different, but someone in the world has it worse than me, they probably wish they had my different. I mean, I don't really get it, but I don't think it's necessarily stupid.' She offered him a smile.

'You're a little too wise for your age, sometimes.' He grumbled good-naturedly.

'Hey, do we both have to sleep in this bed tonight?' She asked.

'I take it back.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeap, I ... uh ... Sorry about Plutt!


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovely loverlies!
> 
> An early/late update!  
> Sorry I was sick with the flu with this week, so I was fairly scramble-brained, hence no Wednesday update.
> 
> Some of you may have noticed the wonderful spam of 41 'hate' messages I got on the last chapter. My request is to not reply to them, because someone has WAY too much time on their hands and is attacking a few authors (AquaWolfGirl being one of them, author of Satan Wears a Rolex and Laundro-Matt (read them if you haven't, they're great)).  
> They are not reading the stories, their only interest is in attacking the author with their awfully uncreative and poorly worded messages.  
> I have not marked them as spam because I want the evidence there for Ao3 (also comment count, yo? Looks really good now!)  
> If you do feel obliged to do anything, please report the messages as harassment to Ao3. I already sent a report in on Tuesday, but haven't heard anything back as of yet. Hopefully more messages means they're more likely to respond and possibly action banning the individuals IP, or something.  
> I dunno.  
> Abuse isn't cool. Even as hilarious as this is (for me, extraordinarily stressful for other authors), the amount of time spent on uncreative messages, can still be hurtful and demoralising. For anyone. It doesn't matter if you don't like the ship, you don't like their writing. Live and live. Don't leave a comment. Anti's are weird, sad, lonely creatures. This is my first involvement with one. Very strange.

Ben stared down at her with no small amount of trepidation.

Rey had been full of energy that morning, bounding out of bed and scaring him half to death in the process. He'd physically hauled her to his chest and caged her against him until he'd realised that she wasn't being kidnapped from their hotel room, she was just being ridiculously chipper for 5:47am in the morning.

That energy had been put into muffled words and flailing limbs of 'breakfast' and 'going back'.

So here they were, standing on the gravelled road, staring up at the rundown home that had been Rey's nightmarish childhood.

Ben shoved his hands into the back pockets of his jeans and studied her face.

Rey was a mess of scruffy hair and flushed cheeks. The chipper mood of that morning had evidently floundered under the weight of her decision to return. Her face worked into wrinkles and various frowns as she internally debated something. It would have been amusing in any other conceivable place in the world. But they weren't anywhere else, they were here. And Plutt was inside, and so was her bag, with her only phone charger. That had been her argument, a damned phone charger, and somehow she'd convinced Ben that it would be okay.

Sure, she needed the phone charger, but he could buy her a damned new one. If that's what this was about. It wasn't. Rey was going to try talking to him again. Ben wasn't an idiot, he also knew that he would have absolutely refused her if she'd outright said it. So, fine. Phone charger. Then it was out of this pervert’s home and back on a train to civilisation.

'I doubt you got enough money in one night,' Plutt said as Rey lead them into the kitchen. The padlock was hanging unlocked, door open.

It was a small, greasy room, with oily lace curtains and a flickering bulb in an exposed ceiling socket. Food was caked on the stovetop, years of neglected meals crusted onto the stained surface and dials, the sink a mess of filthy dishes that could have been days or weeks old. Ben could smell rotting food in the fridge, even though the door was closed.

'I can work with a payment plan.' Rey insisted, and Ben had to admire her strength of will. She was a small thing, so narrow and delicate. But her shoulders were rolled back, chin up, defiant in the face of her tormentor.

'And I can't,' Plutt said, lips peeling back into an unsettling grin. 'You give me the money, or yourself. You can't afford to challenge this, girl, and I doubt he can, especially after he owes me the cost of a new computer.' Plutt’s smile grew, warping into something more predatory than apologetic as he wagged a buttery knife in Ben’s direction.

Ben stepped closer, ready to grab Rey by the back of her shirt and haul her out of the doorway, out of danger. Plutt evidently took his movement as a hostile gesture, the knife becoming a little more pointed as his small, dark eyes narrowed in a glare. Plutt bared his teeth and managed to broaden himself further, expansive gut swelling in a show of intimidation. Ben scowled in disgust, hand brushing the fabric of Rey's jacket. The rough texture grounded him, and he met Plutt's look evenly, not in the least put off by posturing.

'I should call the cops on you,' Ben growled. Plutt smiled, jabbing the knife more pointedly at Ben as he answered.

'Yes, try that and see what they do when I have you arrested for breaking in and destroying my property. Didn't we do this yesterday, boy? I happen to know the man on duty today, actually. I can give you his direct number. Would you like to try?' Plutt was gloating, turning his back in triumph to continue making his sandwich. Rey's shoulders were trembling slightly, fists clenched.

'Where is my bag?' She said, voice determined and low.

'Upstairs, in your room of course.' Plutt threw over his shoulder. Ben looked away. The bigger man’s pants were slipping down, revealing an expanse of pasty, pock-marked flesh. 'I'll get it for you in a moment.'

'That won't be necessary.'

Ben found himself turning quickly at the voice, back cracking in protest.

'Hux!' Rey breathed in disbelief as Plutt snorted.

'Oh, your other boyfriend's here. How delightful. Still can't pay the bill though, so why bother with two? If I'd known you'd be so badly behaved I never would have let you leave Jakku.' Plutt had forgotten his meal and was advancing on them in annoyance.

Rey skittered back a few steps, pressing herself into Ben in order to avoid being touched by Plutt.

'Actually,' Hux said, looking pristine in his navy blue suit, cufflinks gleaming gold in the dim light of the house. He was holding a portfolio, though Ben barely noticed it, too focused on the man himself. 'You should read over this while we fetch her bag. If you'd be so gracious?' The folder was being pushed into Plutt's hands before the man could protest.

Plutt pushed his glasses up his nose and stared down at the white folder.

'What is it?' He asked suspiciously, turning it in his meaty fingers, smearing butter over the once immaculate surface. Ben caught the wince on Hux's face, smoothed over quickly with calm professionalism.

'I'll give you some time to skim through it, and then I shall discuss it with you in detail.' Hux answered, voice clipped as he ran his hands down his torso, flattening out imaginary creases. 'You needed your bag, Rey?'

Ben turned to look back at the girl in question. She was holding onto his sleeve, half watching Plutt as he angled his ample frame towards the back room and began to shuffle away in his slippers. The rest of her attention was on Hux, a myriad of disbelief, hope and happiness warring for dominance. Ben felt a stab of jealousy and quashed it. He was filled with enough of a storm at the moment to deal with another emotion.

Hux was a protector.

And a fixer.

If he was here there was definitely hope.

'Rey?' Hux said again, when it was just the three of them standing in the dingy hallway.

'What are you doing here?' She demanded, grip tightening on Ben's arm as she spoke. He felt like a personal shield, half concealing her from the redhead. At this current point in time, he felt as though he'd rather be hiding behind her. He did not want to be here with Hux, not yet. He wasn't prepared to see him, let alone speak to him, _let alone_ be standing in a cramped space with him.

His gut churned with nerves and annoyance and joy.

'Let's go get your bag, shall we?' Hux didn't answer her question, nose wrinkling as he looked about himself, arms held close to his body so he couldn't touch the walls.

Rey made a sound in her throat, before slipping past Ben. He felt the heat of her body as she squeezed between the two of them, turning around the corner of the hallway. He followed dutifully, barely acknowledging Hux as he trailed her up a groaning staircase.

Ben was slightly worried, at each step, that the wood would simply give, sending him crashing through the rotting planks with a broken leg. They reached the second level with no drama. Rey was breathing heavily, in through the nose, out through the mouth, desperately trying to calm herself. Ben placed his hand on her shoulder, feeling the rigid tension. She glanced back at him and offered a weak smile.

'This way.' She said. Ben could feel Hux at his shoulder, but chose to ignore him, focusing instead on their surroundings.

Downstairs had been dark and dank, the doors closed and padlocked. Upstairs it was bright and airy, the windows in the rooms thrown open, doors swaying on silent hinges. None of them had locks.

'Downstairs is for Plutt,' she said, seeing where Ben's attention had been focused. 'He kept everything locked so we couldn't use his bathroom, or the kitchen, unless we had express permission. His bedroom is down there, too, and his office and record room. Up here is the bedrooms, our bathroom.' She gestured down the straight hallway, at the rectangles of light skewed across worn, wooden floors and faded rugs.

The boards creaked and groaned with every step, and Ben found himself peering into the rooms as they passed. Tidy beds and empty chests of drawers, filmy lace curtains dancing in the morning breeze. Cobwebs dangled from the corners of the ceilings, leaves skittered over rugs. There was water damage radiating from each of the windows. Some of the frames were missing glass.

Rey's room was at the end, beside a bathroom that would have been considered outdated in the seventies. The door was silent as it moved, and there was a glaring absence of any sort of lock. Ben’s gut tightened at the thought of it. Of Rey, at just thirteen or fourteen, entering puberty and developing the self-consciousness of a changing body, unable to have a moment of privacy even as she used the toilet or bathed. His fingers curled into fists.

'Keep going.' Hux's voice was low, soft, his hand warm and heavy against the back of Ben's right shoulder. Ben stared ahead of him, at the mop of brown hair, pulled into a half-hearted bun. She was standing in the doorway of what had been her room. Of what still was her room.

Unlike the others, this still had her stamped all over it. Ben hadn't considered how much she had wanted out, at how quickly she would have left. Because she had left quickly.

Withered pot plants sat on the windowsill, on the chest of drawers. Magazine cut outs plastered the space above an ancient desk, littered with pencils and workbooks. There were scraps of metal twisted into figures and shapes littering a set of shelves at the foot of her bed. The tattered wallpaper, yellowed with age and human contact, was scratched deeply. Running around the edges of her bed, single lines over and over again, running up the wall, over the corner and above the head of her mattress.

Ben was not a religious man, but he found himself praying that those were days. That those tally marks were days here and nothing more sinister. That there were no other connotations to those evenly spaced, carefully carved lines.

Rey stepped into the room. Her bag was sitting on the rusting chair at her desk. It had been opened and sifted through. But that wasn't what held Ben’s attention most. He heard Hux's soft intake of breath, felt the man accidentally jostle him and didn't overly mind, because it was distracting enough to take an edge off the black anger curling through him.

Rey's bed was larger than the other ones. Where they had been singles, hers was almost a double. It was made, but crumpled, wrinkled as though someone had been lying on it. Sitting on it enough to create an indent in the mattress and pillows. An assortment of clothes and undergarments had been pulled out of the open drawers of the rickety old chest. They lay scattered, hanging over the lip of the drawer, a few ratty bras dropped on the faded rug, and handfuls of small underwear splayed over the messy blankets.

There was a strong tug, a heavy pressure as Hux fixed his hand to the waist of Ben's jeans, holding him firmly in place. Anchoring him to sanity.

'My charger's still here,' Rey said lightly. She didn't seem to be looking at anything, her eyes partially glazed as hazel flicked from the bag to them and back again. She didn't seem to notice the disarray, the items that had once been her life. 'Umm, some things are missing, but that's okay. We should go.' She nodded slowly to herself, her shoulders flexing between rigid and sagging, as if she couldn't quite make herself take that final step, to work herself out of whatever this was.

'Rey,' Ben said, his voice hollow, chest aching because this screamed at him. The room, the door, the bed, it screamed and screamed of a defenceless little girl, staring unseeing at the mould stains on the ceiling, tracing the flakes of paint in the shadows of the night, unable to cry or breathe or even dream of a time when it would all be over. The floorboards groaned, but the doors were silent.

The hand at the back of his belt was moving him, pushing him to the side. Ben let Hux manoeuvre him and watched as the redhead stepped into the room, green eyes taking in everything with one quick sweep. And then Hux was at Rey's side.

'Rey?' Hux said softly. She looked up at him, face pale, teeth wedged sharply into her bottom lip. 'We're going to go back downstairs, okay? I need to talk to Plutt and I would like you to be there. You don't need to talk to him. You can stand with Ben and you can leave at any time, but I'd like you to be there when I talk to him. Is that okay?' Her eyes flicked side to side as they roamed over Hux's face, her knuckles white as she clutched the edge of her backpack. Slowly she nodded. 'Okay. Now zip up your bag. Is there anything in this room you want to take with you and keep?'

Ben watched as the glaze lifted, as Rey finally began to turn and take in her surroundings, to really see where she was. Her bottom lip trembled, despite the anchor of her teeth. She looked for a long moment at Ben, her gaze raw with distress and misery and loss.

She zipped up her bag and took nothing, walking instead into Ben's chest and wrapping her arms around him. He felt the shudder run through her as she breathed deeply. Ben glanced up at Hux.

There was no hostility, no jealousy in either of them. He held Rey as he and Hux communicated silently. They were both here for her, to make this better, and to make it go away.

\-----

Hux settled himself into the poor excuse of a chair. A mental note was added to check his suit for loose threads, the sharp edges of the seat would undoubtedly create a few.

Pleasure flooded through him at the sight of the opened folder, of the reports and findings and permissions sprawled over the desk. What pleased him most was the look of utter confusion and rage on the foul man's face.

'What is this shit?' Plutt snarled, fisting his hands in documents that had spent Hux months of hard work. From the corner of his eye, Hux saw Ben pull Rey into his chest, arms wrapped loosely around her as she hugged her backpack to her front. They were standing by the door, Rey unwilling to venture any closer. She could hear well enough from where she was, so it suited Hux just fine.

'A proposal, as it says on the first page.' Hux found the appropriate sheet and showed the man. Plutt was spluttering, chin flecked with saliva as he flailed for words.

'But for what? You want to buy this place?'

'The deal has basically been done,' Hux said smugly, back straight as he laced his fingers together and rested them on his lap.

'I refuse.' Plutt said, shoving the pages into the folder and pushing it forcefully over the desk towards him. Hux kept smiling pleasantly.

'You cannot. Did you look at the sum? It's a fair price.'

'I know my rights.' Plutt said. Hux felt nothing but revulsion for the man. It was obvious he had no self-restraint, an avaricious thing focused on his own pleasures. Perhaps it had been a mistake not wearing gloves here. 'I can't get pressured into a deal! You can't force me to sell! I've got friends in high places, here. You can't do shit you gay fuck.' The slur caused Hux's eyebrows to rise slightly.

The chair groaned dangerously as he leant forward, hands still folded in his lap.

'Are you talking about the Mayor, Plutt? The Town Planner? I've been in heavy negotiations with your council for months now.' The bigger man was opening and closing his mouth in frustration, sweat dribbling down the folds and creases of his face.

'You're lying.'

'I would never do that to my company.' Hux answered, slightly insulted that anyone could think that of him. 'I'm afraid you will need to sign, otherwise your property will be seriously devalued once work begins.'

'What work?' Plutt hissed, scrabbling at the documents again, tearing paper and smearing ink with his large fingers.

'You didn't read very far, did you?' Hux hummed. 'We're going to reinvigorate Jakku. It's close enough to commute to the city, once services have been improved. Better bus times, new station facilities, it's all in the works.'

'Then you don't need my little plot of land.' Dark eyes glimmered with attempted cunning. The attempt was laughable.

'Au contraire, Mr. Plutt. With a higher calibre of citizens comes a higher calibre of demands. Road upgrades, store upgrades, why, my company is even assisting with reinvigorating the town square. We have already signed on three blocks, including your three neighbours to the right of you. Unfortunately for you, and here the council, Mayor and Town Planner heartily agree with, the car lot has to go. Wealthy young couples won't want to live by a vermin trap. They want parks and cafes, not heaps of junk.'

'That's my life, there!' Plutt was quivering with rage, face going redder with every word. Hux allowed himself a wider smile.

'And you will receive a nice sum of money for your life’s work.' Hux said.

'This isn't going to clear her debt, you know.' Plutt raised a quivering arm and jabbed his finger in Rey's direction.

'Oh, that. My lawyer contacted your lawyer for a copy this morning.' Hux located another piece of paper from the mess Plutt had created. So much organisation wasted, crumpled and littered in the hands of this buffoon. With a flourish, Hux held it out for Plutt to take. The man did, too stunned to offer much resistance.

'What is this?' He muttered, chins trembling as he seemed to sink in on himself, losing bodily definition by the second.

'I believe that is the requested amount for Rey's debt. As you can see it has been added to the offer on your estates, paid by my Company as a sweetener to the deal.' Hux stood now, dusting off his backside quickly as he slipped behind the seat. Normally he would push it under the desk. He didn't bother here. 'If you have any questions, feel free to contact my office. This offer will not be made again, and land value will drop. Just keep that in mind. I look forward to receiving your acceptance.'

'You think you're real clever, don't you?' Plutt's gaze had zeroed in on Rey. She stared back at him stonily. 'You know, I thought maybe you were pretending, last time, that he was your boyfriend. Proved me wrong.' His lips curled into a sneer, leaning forward as he leered at her. 'You must have a magic cunt, girl, to have two guys throwing themselves at you, because you weren't that good, you fuc-'

'That's enough.' Hux barked, not wanting to hear more. Not needing to. The man was repulsive, reprehensible and had just, unwittingly, admitted to a horrendous crime.

'I'll tell you when it's enough you pompous fairy,' Plutt lurched to his feet. 'You think you can buy me out? You think you can toss your fucking money around like some saviour and get her all wet for you?'

'If you _ever_ ,' Hux hissed, skin feeling too tight over his face, jaw aching with how tightly he was gritting his teeth, 'speak to Rey again. If you ever try to contact her, blackmail her, attempt to have her put into your care again,' he did not gesture to Rey in any way. He keep his hands gripped firmly to the back of the chair, eyes shooting pure venom at the slobbering mess before him. 'If you so much as set foot in the same town as her, I will have you arrested for child endangerment, attempted blackmail, fraudulent behaviour, not to mention the numerous counts of indecent acts with a minor.' Plutt's face was both ruddy and pale at the same time, shirt staining with sweat. 'You may have friends in this neighbourhood, _Plutt_ , but I have friends in far higher places, with a lot more say. If you so much as think about her, I will have you locked up and you will _never_ see daylight again. Am I clear?'

He watched Plutt's face morph into rage, dejection, and then abject fury, wrinkles spanning through layers of fat and grease. But he said nothing.

Hux had won.

Rey was staring wide-eyed at him as Hux approached. Grasping Ben’s elbow, he turned the two of them in one motion to face the hallway. He wanted out of this hellish pit as fast as possible. Hux wondered if it was possible to inhale diseases from poorly kept buildings. In this cesspool, it was highly likely.

'I don't ... Hux,' Rey breathed as sunlight bathed them once more. Her small frame was trembling, still held tightly to Ben's torso.

'You owe me nothing. This is simply a business deal.' He brushed away whatever she was about to say, not needing to hear the thank you or sorry or some form of pathetic protest. 'All I ask is you keep showing up to work. Your coffees taste better for some reason.' Bottom lip quivering, Rey nodded enthusiastically.

'We should probably get to the bus stop.' Ben rumbled, drawing Hux's attention. It was the first time he’d properly spoken, the first time Hux had properly heard the man’s voice in over half a year.

Guilt flared thick and heavy in his gut at the sight of those long black locks and big brown eyes. He hadn't realised how much he'd _missed_ the man until now. Work had been so busy, so time consuming and demanding that any free time had been utilised to eat and sleep. Socialisation had winnowed down to interactions with his Father, Phasma and Rey at work.

'I drove here. It's faster, I'll drive you back.' Hus said. That hadn't been the plan. He hadn't actually expected to find them here at all. After the phone call yesterday, with Rey's voice so delicate and weak, Hux had sprung into immediate action, finalising the last of his plans and collating them with the boards blessings. It would be the biggest FO development yet, an entire revisualisation of a town. Hux's baby. He had slept well last night, anticipating this very moment, of handing over the folder and his terms. Naturally, he'd assumed Rey would go home last night, or this morning, and Ben ... well ... Ben had a way of getting into situations. With Rey, it seemed. He hadn't known they even spoke anymore, let alone this sort of emotional and physical support.

The curl in his gut wasn't jealousy. It wasn't envy. It wasn't curiosity. Hux was merely missing certain facts and he didn't appreciate feeling out of the loop. That was all.

'It'll save us the fare,' Rey said, tilting her head to look up at Ben. Dark hair flopped over his face as Ben looked down at her.

'Yeah, it will.' Ben admitted grudgingly. He looked up, brown eyes meeting green, and Hux felt a pang of regret that this was their interactions now.

Perhaps, with this project now in motion, and if the bigger man was agreeable, Hux could begin reparations. It was worth considering.

'Where's your car?' Rey asked, looking up and down the empty street. Hux didn't miss her cautious glance over the shoulder, at the junkyard, as if he could have mistaken it for a parking lot.

'Town Hall.' Hux answered. Somewhere public, and important. Not a dodgy side-alley where the tyres would be swiped the moment his back was turned. Rey nodded approvingly.

She took a deep, shuddering breath and exhaled loudly before stepping away from Ben. He released her surprisingly easy. Hux watched the interaction with interest.

'Shall we, then?' Hux asked, sweeping a hand in the direction of freedom. The place felt oppressive to him, he couldn't even begin to conceive how bad it was for Rey. She seemed to be okay, though, perhaps in some state of shock. He watched her take the lead towards the Town Square and marvelled at how well she kept herself together. There was fire and steel in that woman and he found himself respecting her all the more.

\-----

Rey shifted slightly, butt sliding against the leather seats.

The indicator clicked loudly in the silence, steering wheel squeaking as Hux turned them onto the highway, taking them back home. Ben shifted against her, forcing her to move her head down to rest against his bicep instead of his shoulder.

She was exhausted. Flat out, emotionally, physically exhausted.

Treetops and telegraph poles whizzed by, powerlines rising and falling in gentle bows. A single aircraft was streaking vapour trails against clear blue skies, marring the pristine depths with white swirls.

It was done.

Hux had saved her.

He had come charging in with a white folder and somehow saved her. Months and months of his stress, of endless hours of phone calls and meetings and staring at his computer, it had all been for this. For her. The concept made her head spin and chest tighten uncomfortably. There was no way she could ever pay him back. She could work for him, for free, until she was silver haired and in a wheelchair and she would still be indebted. It didn't matter what he said, she felt it. She had to make this right somehow. She _would_ make this right.

She inhaled the scent of new car, Hux's bitter coffee and unwashed Ben. There was still a hint of deodorant to him, and he smelled vaguely of her after last night, so he wasn't unpleasant to be snuggled into.

No. Resting against. Rey was tired and it was more comfortable leaning against Ben's warmth than the jostling, hard angles of the car window.

Her eyelids sank, heavy and promising sleep.

The sharp jangle of Ben's ringtone jerked her back to reality.

'Yeah?' He grunted after fishing it out of the pocket between them. Rey lost her arm and gained a chest instead. It was mildly uncomfortable, but she persevered, not overly bothered by his seatbelt cutting into her a little.

Ben was silent for a long moment, but Rey didn't need to ask why. Hux didn't either. Ben's volume was up loud, but the voice on the other end was louder.

'-the fuck were you, man? Just fucking up and leave? And you didn't write the fucking song! Are you so fucking irresponsible that you can't just do your own fucking job properly?'

Rey slipped her fingers into Ben's free hand, smoothing out the clenching digits, working away the fist that was starting to form. She could feel the tension thrumming through him, heart pounding staccato beats against his ribs. Her exhaustion was slipping away, replaced by eddies of stress and worry, thick tendrils of it slopping around in her gut. She caught Hux's gaze in the revision mirror before turning her face up to Ben's. The tendons in his neck were almost popping, jaw clenched tightly, his eyes squeezed shut as the voice kept spouting vile filth.

'Snoke wants to speak to you.' The voice finally said. Reg, Rey realised, it was probably Reg, judging by the stories Ben had told her of his band mates.

'Whatever,' Ben rumbled finally, eyes opening to stare unseeing out at farmland.

'Kylo,' a deeper, older voice snarled. Ben's hand clenched suddenly, squeezing her fingers. He relaxed as soon as he registered her hiss of pain. 'You have been such a big disappointment over these past two days. First actively leaving early, and then not turning up to a paid function?'

'I wasn't going to be paid anyway, what's the point?' Ben shot back, voice dark. It ran slivers of ice down Rey's spine.

'Your contract, is the point, Kylo. Your band. They could not perform without their singer. Your image is being damaged by your own selfishness.'

'You mean your paycheck is being damaged. Get off it, Snoke, you already docked my pay, what did you think was going to happen? People need to eat.'

'So you were out working somewhere else?' Snoke cackled loudly, the sound partially distorting as the car passed through a dead zone. 'I wasn't born yesterday, Kylo. You were off fucking that little thing that's had you all riled up for the past few weeks. Two gigs has become five more, to make up the wages _your band_ missed out on.'

'You can't do that!' Ben yelled into the phone. There was no pretense of calm. He'd used it all up for her. Ben was hot rage, vibrating with it.

'Careful, Kylo,' Snoke said, voice dulcet with duplicity. 'You owe us a song, and I expect it when you walk in the door tomorrow morning for recording. And then the gig tomorrow night.'

'And if I don't?' Ben challenged.

'I'm already taking your royalties for the new album, Kylo, do you not think your financial situation may already be in distress by this stage?'

'That's fucking blackmail.'

'It's all business, Kylo. It's all in your contract. You did _read_ your contract, before you signed, didn't you?' The man said with the air of one already knowing the answer.

Ben's face was livid, lips pulled back into an animalistic snarl. Rey pressed her head against his chest, feeling the ferocious pounding of his heart. His muscles thrummed under her touch. Ben was ready to destroy something. She held on tighter, trying to will some of the discomfort away.

'I'll see you at eight am sharp, with the song.'

The line went dead and Ben's arm fell awkwardly over Rey's shoulders, phone dangling limply in his grasp.

'Fuck.' He said, and turned his attention back to the outside world.


	25. Chapter 25

'Was that your manager?' Hux asked from the front seat, eyes fixated forward. Ben glanced at him for a moment, before looking back out at the guardrails flicking by. Rey moved against his side, a warm comfort nestled into him, breath pushing through the fabric of his shirt to blow across his skin.

'Yeah,' he finally said into the silence of the car.

'It didn't sound overly legal.' Hux said.

Ben didn't have an answer for him. He wasn't even sure if he really wanted to be talking to Hux right now. The only thing he knew for certain was that he wanted the girl currently tucked into him back in her apartment, on her couch, watching movies with her roommate and her cat.

'You can't be earning much, at the moment,' Hux said, getting the hint that Ben wasn't going to continue talking. 'There's a position going at FO that I can offer you, if you'd like?' Hux sounded almost hopeful, though to anyone else it would have sounded like his normal, dry disdain.

Ben felt one of Rey's hands dig into his shirt. Her other hand was still entwined with his. She was so warm, so comfortable. He wanted to haul her into his lap and bury his face in her hair. Wish all of this away. But they couldn't miracle this away like Hux had with her problem.

'I can't afford to actually break the contract.'

'I'll pay the difference.' Hux said, before amending himself. 'The company can cover it.'

'No.' Ben refused, flat out. He wasn't going to rely on Hux, or take his money. Rey squeezed his hand and sighed into him. A silent show of belief. Ben kept his gaze focused out the window, so he couldn’t see Hux.

The car rolled into town, farms replaced by suburbs, replaced by townhouses, replaced by apartment buildings and businesses and skyscrapers. People began to fill sidewalks, cars began to fill lanes, buses, trucks, motorcycles, cyclists. Ben watched them all blur together, drowsy with the travel and stress and anxiety. With the warmth of Rey, the silence of the car, of Hux. They had been driving for a few hours now, far more direct than the public transport, but still slow for afternoon traffic congestion.

He watched the turnoff to his apartment come and go. Hux clearly knew where Rey lived, and that suited Ben just fine. He didn't want to go home to his empty place. A place he couldn't afford anymore. It wasn't just the pay cuts at work, this had been a long time coming. Reg's fucktard antics, and then Rey's personal dramas had quite happily taken his attention away from the looming crisis of homelessness. Staggeringly large rent rises had a way of kicking people out. Ben had never been a low income earner, with the Uni _or_ the band, but now it was too much. Too much for a small place in a posh part of town he didn't feel he belonged in. But lease was almost up. It was almost decision time. And he did not want to be there and have the problem glaring him in the face.

'We're here,' Hux announced unnecessarily.

Ben glanced up at the familiar block of units as Rey moved away, leaving him open and cold.

'Thanks, Hux, for everything.' She said, belt hissing as she unclicked it.

'Rey,' Hux turned to look back at her. His face was lit up by the sunlight reflecting off the buildings around them. A bus drove past, rocking the car slightly with its slipstream. 'You don't need to come in tomorrow. Take the day off.'

'No.' She answered quickly, voice firm, expression firmer. 'I'm coming in tomorrow. Thank you for the offer. Come on, Ben.' She gave him a shove and Ben realised she was waiting for him to get out on the sidewalk so she could follow. Ben obliged quickly, pushing open the door and helping her up, plucking her backpack from her hands.

Hux looked at them for a long moment.

'Have a good night,' he finally said. Rey closed the door and waved at him. They watched the indicator flicker, the car pull back out into traffic and vanish two blocks down. Ben huffed a sigh and ran a hand through his hair.

'I'm really fucking tired.' Ben said, simply because he felt like it needed saying. At his side Rey laughed.

'Burgers first, nap later. I know a good place. Hungry?' Ben nodded adamantly and let her guide him away from the quiet sanctuary of her home and further into town.

\-----

Hux settled himself down at his desk and took a deep, calming breath.

The day had gone far better than expected. It had also gone far worse.

He stared for a moment at the pot plant he'd brought upstairs with him. The office move had been quick, and here he was, sitting in the office he'd aspired to be in. Barely touched by the previous occupant. An old man who spent more of his time on a golf course than actually working. Hux would not be like that, Hux was here to work.

A knock on the door drew his attention to Phasma. She smiled at him, her normal confrontational persona melted away now that she'd been promoted. Hux hoped she didn't feel indebted to him, he didn't know how to handle that. She had deserved the promotion and it had been no fault of her own that she'd been withheld. Just as Rey's past had not been her fault, or the scholarship travesty, or the appalling attempt to wring her for every last penny she owned. Just like now, Ben did not deserve what his manager was doing. Snoke.

'I received an email from a delightful little country bumpkin of a lawyer stammering his words. I could almost hear him pissing himself. Said his client, an Unkar Plutt, was accepting your terms?'

'Very good.' Hux said. He knew the fat oaf would, he'd be a fool not to. Unkar Plutt was a man of greed, and he knew when to take. He already had an ear to the ground, ready to track the ogre’s movements to ensure he stayed far, far away.

'I have some food for you. I know you haven't eaten.'

'You're not my P.A. Phasma,' he said, arching an eyebrow at her. She grinned at him, mimicking his arched eyebrow.

'Not your mother, either, still doesn't change the fact you need to eat! You're skin and bones under that suit, Hux! Don't deny it!' She pulled a paper bag from behind her back. 'Didn't know what you liked, so I got you what Rey eats. Not much chilli on it, you pathetic weaklings.'

'I like jalapenos, Phas, I don't like a sandwich of pure jalapenos.'

'I ask for extra, not only.' She chided, setting the wrapped bun onto his desk, careful to set the napkins underneath it so as not to get grease on the surface. Hux appreciated the gesture, almost as much as the oily thing he was being given to eat.

'You have iron guts,' he commented idly as she scrunched up the paper bag and tossed it in his trash. Phasma shrugged her shoulders. She was still stuck a few floors below, an office was being made available for her as they spoke. He could hear the janitors tidying up a room that had once been used as storage. God knows why, it had excellent views and natural lighting, but somehow storage had trumped that. He personally thought the view was better than his, but Hux wasn't one to sit and stare, he was here to impress with his work, not his office. He glanced at the desk set by the door, already covered in boxes of Rey's belongings. She'd be busy tomorrow.

'I've been told that before,' Phasma said, looking at her nails idly, 'iron guts, iron thighs,' she looked up and winked at him, eyelashes fluttering, cheeky grin spreading across her face. Hux sighed.

'Don't you have work to do?'

'Only always! At least I get paid for it now!'

'You were always paid.' He chided. She sashayed her way out the door, full of too much energy this late in the afternoon.

'Peanuts, you sweet little man, absolute peanuts.' She turned in the doorframe, suddenly fixing him with a long, studying look. 'Hux, I meant it when I said thanks, about all of this.'

'And that's the last time you need to mention it.' He answered, returning the level gaze. She shot him a mock salute and a quick nod. Yes, Sir. He listened to her footsteps recede down the hallway, door left open so he could hear the going on's in other offices.

Hux steepled his fingers, resting his chin on the point as he stared at the blank screen of his monitor. Ben's problem seemed to be a tricky one, not as easily solvable. Plutt had been easy to crush with property, but this Snoke character, perhaps not.

Booting up the monitor, Hux decided to try the system, just in case there was anything usable. He'd briefly looked up this Snoke character, after Ben had signed up with him. Some famous recluse, signing up big names and running them hard and fast until they burned up in the spotlight, going out in glory and huge truckloads of cash.

He unwrapped the roll, scattering breadcrumbs over his desk. Rey usually brought in a plate, but that was okay. Phasma wasn't his P.A., she was simply doing something nice. A little messy and unorganised, but Hux recognised the sentiment, and he was pretty hungry. It turned out Rey like schnitzel rolls, filled with tomato and lettuce and chilli sauce. Hux hummed in delight. Perfect choice. His stomach agreed.

It took a moment for the system to log in, loading his files and account, and then the search form. Hux typed one handed, juggling the sandwich in the other as grease began to drip towards his cuff.  
The name 'Snoke' brought up a staggering list of hits. And they were all the same person. The one and only infamous band manager of Kylo Ren and his Knights of Ren. Hux hummed thoughtfully, allowing himself to scroll idly down the list, letting the ideas formulate naturally as he read the titles of the entries. Snoke was quite the little property mogul, and it seemed Snoke had Hux's father to thank for that. Every sale ran through Brendon Hux Senior of First Order. And they were pricey, too, whole apartment complexes, businesses. The man even owned a shopping centre in another state, still signed and sold off by Brendon Hux Senior.

Hux licked his fingers, sandwich gone, cuffs saved, as he thought. He paused, catching himself mid motion before quickly snatching up one of the serviettes and cleaning his hand off properly. Clearly he'd seen Rey eat her lunch one too many times. The girl had no manners.

One of the apartment blocks caught Hux's eye, and he frowned. A proper frown that spread wrinkles across his forehead and tugged his lips down. Hux hated frowning. But he hated the likelihood that this was no coincidence more.

The block was definitely the one he had gone to visit with Ben years ago. He could still remember the big, black-haired oaf rambling about how amazing it had been to find something like this. Cheap, spacious, affordable, good views, great rent. Hux had waved him off, wishing Ben could just be a little bit more sedate, a little more poker-faced as the Real Estate Agent had pinned them with a shark smile.

Ben had already decided to lease the place before he'd walked in, Hux was sure. But he didn't blame the man. It was a good place, close to good cafes, shops, transport, hell it wasn't even far from work. And the rent _was_ too good to be true. The Agent had answered all the questions, pointed out a couple of wear points, had even mentioned it was fairly heavily insulated. It was next to impossible to hear neighbours, even when they were blaring bass heavy action movies. Of course it was the right thing to say to a musician moving into close-quarter living. Ben had been smart enough to walk out and email request the papers, but he'd been gripping Hux's shoulders so hard, almost slamming him into the wall in his excitement.

Ben.

Hux drummed his fingers against the keyboard, listening to the clack of plastic.

He missed Ben.

It was a strange notion, curling around his skull. Seeing him that morning, that broad back and head of curls turning to reveal dark eyes and full lips, that big nose and pale skin. He sounded more like some love-sick teenager than a concerned friend. Hux rubbed his face and turned his chair to look out the floor to ceiling windows.

After basically living in the idiot’s pockets for years, it was strangely disconcerting to find Ben suddenly absent. No more late night phone calls from Ben for the gate code, no more early morning wake ups with Ben setting off the smoke alarm in the kitchen. No more meal sharing, no more mocking crappy soaps while half-studying for exams, no more drinks after work. No more serious 'how are you' queries, with a knowing look, and answers given in careful code. They had been a fairly solid team, mostly on Hux's behalf. Ben had been a newborn foal, stumbling from one disaster to the next, Hux dutifully following along behind, picking up the pieces and righting all the wrongs.

Perhaps it was easier this way. Life was stressful, certainly, but in a much less ... eventful way. Because Ben was certainly an eventful character. How else did he end up back in Rey's life?

Hux glanced back at his computer, lacing his fingers together.

The high-end apartment complex with high-end rent prices, all owned by the one and only Snoke.

No, that didn't seem very coincidental at all.

\-----

Rey rolled herself onto the couch, blissfully full of a good burger, good chips, a beer and a huge serving of chocolate brownies and ice cream. She rubbed her stomach and kicked off her shoes. The couch dipped as Ben sat down beside her, sprawling his huge length down under the coffee table.  
BB-8 jumped up onto his lap, purring for attention.

'Hey kitty,' he purred, scratching the cat under the chin. She purred back merrily, back arching to encourage bigger pats. Ben had decided that one beer wasn't enough. More like several. They were both halfway to drunk and Rey was buzzing pleasantly. Everything had turned out far better than she'd initially thought.

'Thanks for coming with me. I know it was ... it was pretty shit.' Rey twisted herself so that her legs hung off the arm of the couch and her head rested on his thigh. BB-8 pressed an inquisitive nose against Rey's forehead. It was cold and wet, making Rey giggle and crinkle her nose. Soft fur ran through her fingers as she reached up to pet the kitten, fingertips brushing unseeingly over Ben's hand in the process.

'I'm glad I could be there to help.' He answered, voice low and relaxed. She could feel the muscle under her head shift as he sank further into the couch.

They lapsed into a comfortable, post food silence. Rey closed her eyes and listened to BB-8 purr, the sound rumbling through Rey's head, where the cat was leaning against her. This was what mattered. Not money, not the past. Just this. Having a home to come back to, friends you could rely on, people and pets that cared. All she needed was Finn and Poe right now and she would be the happiest woman alive.

'How good are you at shit lyrics?' Ben broke the silence. Rey laughed at the strange question.

'What do you mean?' She opened her eyes and tilted her head back to look up at his face. She could see up his nostrils from this angle. The insane urge to stick her finger up one was only just wrangled back under control. She laced her fingers together and placed them under her boobs, stomach too full to put any pressure on.

'I need to write a song for tomorrow or I'm fucked.' He said, glancing down at her face. He was still tickling BB-8 and the cat was drooling everywhere.

'What about?'

'Laying bitches and getting fucked up.' Rey snorted, rolled her eyes.

'That's repulsive.'

'I know.' He closed his eyes and let his head flop back. Ben hand moved from the cat to her hair and she almost began to purr as he ran his fingers against her scalp. BB-8's nose got in the way quick enough, forcing Ben's attention back to the cat. 'Not my choice.'

'You'd rather write about sunshine and daisies?' She asked curiously, trying to mesh the image of Ben as his Kylo Ren alter ego, jumping around and singing about rainbows.

'About love and things that matter, yeah.' BB-8 began to paw her way over Rey's shoulder and down her stomach, to curl up into a ball of orange and white. Ben's hand returned to her hair.

They lapsed into a new silence. Ben was tapping his fingers, more than massaging, and she had the distinct impression he was currently trying to work through the songwriting issue. It was a strange notion, that he could sit and begin to compose something in his head, while she lay in quiet apartment.

'Rey,' Ben said, tone implying he'd been sitting on the question he was about to ask for awhile. The tapping stopped and the stroking resumed, flattening her hair to her head. Rey looked up at him again, watching his eyes dart around the room, trying to find something to focus on that wasn't her. BB-8 stretched and resettled, tail flicking against Rey's arm.

He began to twist plaits into her locks and she waited patiently, trying not to imagine the various questions he'd ask. Was it about Jakku? Something he'd seen? Something he wanted to know about her childhood? Her stomach clenched unpleasantly at the thought, though she tried not to let it bother her.

'Would it be possible to maybe stay with you for a couple of days, soon?' He eventually rumbled out, low and fast. She blinked and absorbed the words, processing them.

'What about your place?' She asked. He glanced down at her, dark waves falling over his face, partially shadowing his eyes. Rey sat up, dislodging the cat so she could look at him properly. 'Is it getting fumigated, or something?' Ben chuckled.

'I wish it was that easy. No,' he sighed, leaning back, slightly away from her. She watched BB-8 skulk off towards Rey's open bedroom door.

'What is it?'

'I'm cancelling my lease.' That drew her attention back to him. His leg was jiggling, heel thumping a rhythm into the rug. He was chewing his bottom lip nervously, hands curling into fists on his thighs. 'I can't afford to live there anymore. Rent's going up and my lease ends in the next couple of days, so I need to get out, but I haven't found anywhere else yet.' He glanced at her nervously. 'Only for a few days. I'll pay rent, food, I'll stay quiet and out of the way.'

'What about your family?' She asked.

'No.' He answered quickly, tone final. 'I can't.' He added, as if to soften it. Rey frowned at him, crossed her arms over her chest and tilted her head. She had no personal problem with him crashing here, especially ... a thought flicked through her brain and she needed an answer immediately.

'Is that why you went to Jakku with me?'

'What?' His eyes widened, mouth opened, horrified. 'No! That's absolutely not it! Why would you _think_ that?'

'I had to check,' she said, feeling immediately guilty for thinking him that devious. Ben was far too impulsive for that. Hux, yes, without a doubt would do that, but not Ben.

'I thought I'd find a place already, but with my pay cut I probably won't get accepted anywhere for a little bit.'

'So by a few days you mean a few weeks, yes?' She asked, eyebrows rising. His ears flushed bright red, and then his cheeks. Bashful Ben was kind of adorable, letting his hair fall forward to try and hide his embarrassment. A giant puppy caught doing wrong. 

'Yeah.' He mumbled. 'I can't go to my parents for this.'

Rey sighed and kicked herself up off the couch. She straddled his extended legs, arms still crossed over her torso. He looked up at her nervously.

'I have no one else to ask.'

'Asking the band would be pretty shit.' She agreed. He nodded sullenly. 'Alright.' His head snapped up, eyes glimmering in delight. Rey held up a hand, silently asking him to hold on. 'I need to run it by Finn, of course, he kind of lives here too.'

'I'll sleep on the couch, I'll clean the whole place while I'm here if you want, I'll by the groceries for the next couple of weeks. Whatever makes this easy for you.' He was so eager, leaning forward. Rey felt herself smile as she extended her hand. He took it eagerly in a warm handshake.

'Do something for me first,' she taunted, feeling the grin press against her cheeks. 'Lie along the couch for me.' He looked at her strangely for a moment before humouring her. Rey stepped back to give him some room to navigate his ridiculously long legs. She already knew the answer. It wasn't a big couch because Rey and Finn weren't very big people, and they were cuddly people. Ben Solo was not a little man. He was definitely proving that now as he contorted his body awkwardly, knees pulled up to his chest so he could fit on the cushions. The poor man stared up at her with puppy dog eyes.

Rey couldn't help it, she laughed.

'No, Ben,' she giggled, pulling him up to his feet. 'No, you can't sleep on the couch unless you don't want your spine.' She began tugging him towards the only space he could sleep. 'You can bunk with me.'

He stopped, a sudden dead weight at the end of her arm. Her shoulder twinged in pain as she jerked to a halt, mid-stride. Turning to face him, she was met with a stony wall of silence and confusion.

'I can't do that.' He said slowly. Rey sighed.

'Ben, you can't sleep on the couch, and you can't sleep on the floor for a few weeks. And yeah I can sleep with Finn, but he gets weird gropey sometimes in his sleep, and Poe calls him at _really_ weird hours.' She gave him a pointed look and tugged at his hand. 'We've bunked for the past few days, neither one of us died. I think that's pretty good. It's for a few weeks.' She shrugged her shoulders and gave him her best grin. 'We're friends, right? That's what friends are for!' He didn't look sold, but he allowed her to drag him forward again.

'Wait, I don't need to stay tonight,' he muttered.

'You don't wanna go home, and I don't wanna be alone,' she said sing-song to take the edge off the admission. BB-8 was curled in the centre of the bed. 'It's been a stressful couple of days, and both of us need to work tomorrow. It's fine.'

'I haven't showered for awhile.'

'We have a shower, you know. Crazy, right?' She teased. Ben smiled, eyes crinkling with it. 'Didn't you need to write a song?' She added, flopping down on her bed, scaring the cat onto her desk.

'Yeah.' Ben sat down, causing the mattress to sink under his weight. Rey giggled as gravity pulled her slightly towards him. 'I have most of it in my head. I just need a guitar. I can do it tomorrow in the studio.'

'Woah.' She was genuinely impressed. She couldn't comprehend how someone could do that and make it seem so easy. Ben shrugged again. 'Hey, I should probably look at getting you a key.'

'After you speak to Finn.'

'Oh yeah, after that.' She already knew Finn's answer before asking. Along with BB-8, the housemate vote would be 3:0 for him crashing for awhile. Rey popped up off the bed. 'Actually, speaking of showers, I feel like I need one!'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a shorter one, this week, just plot stuff, chugging along.
> 
> Thank you all for being so lovely! You're all sweethearts and I love you!


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? A chapter?! *gasps*
> 
> I am sorry, my lovelies, for the huge delay in this chapter.
> 
> I had the flu, and then my laptop died, and I've just started a new full time job, it all just kind of piled on top of each other so I haven't had the time to write until now!
> 
> It's only a shorty, but hopefully it will tide you over until the next one!
> 
> Updates will be a little wonky as I work out my new life routine, but I do have a backlog of chapters for my new story 'Demonology 101', which is purely, unashamedly, untaintedly Reylo, so go check that out if you haven't already!

Rey put her bag on her desk and paused. Something was way off with the situation.

For starters, all of her stuff was just _gone_. Drawers, trays, boxes under her desk, all empty. And Hux's office door was open. And the room was empty. She stood in the doorway and stared at the spot where the pot plant was supposed to be by the window, at the empty desk that usually had reports, files, folders and post-it notes scattered across it.

What the hell?

'Morning!' Phas chirped, wrapping an arm around Rey's shouders.

'Did Hux get fired?' Rey asked, fear sitting heavy in her gut. Was this her fault? Because of Plutt? She stared at the blatant absence of Hux in the room, scraped clean of any essence of him. Had this been because of all the money he spent to save her? She’d go straight to the CEO. This wasn’t Hux’s fault, it was hers. Guilt and stress swirled in her gut. She felt heavy, nauseated. They’d fired Hux because he had tried to help her. She had to fix this immediately.

Phas laughed, a boisterous sound that bounced through the empty office and down the hallways.  
'Try promoted, Sweetie! Me too! On Wednesday, got the tick of approval and Hux waved his magic fingers and hauled me upstairs with him! My office should be ready today, actually!'

'Oh.' Rey felt her shoulders sag. It probably shouldn't bother her that she'd be getting placed in a new department, not really. But ... she owed Hux, and she knew how he worked. He was competent and easy to read once you knew the cues, and Phasma was amazingly fun and energetic and gossipy. 'Congratulations.' She thought to add, trying to keep her smile up, to be happy. Phas deserved her promotion, she worked long, hard hours. She'd earned it.

'You should see your new desk, Rey!' Phas was pulling her across into the carcass of what used to be Phas' office. 'If you get sick of that ginger git, you're more than welcome to camp in my office for a bit.'

'What?' Rey pulled away and looked up at the blonde in confusion.

Phas stared back at her for a long moment, as equally perplexed, before the grin returned and she laughed.

'Oh, you're coming with us! Some contractual shit about pay, but Mitaka's squaring it away for you, trying to find some loophole that gives you a nice little rise. Maybe a bonus to correct the pay? Who knows.' Rey stared up at her, slack jawed. A promotion? A rise? How on earth ...

'Woah,' she said softly. Phasma laughed and thrust a box in Rey's hands.

'Come on, I'll take you up!'

Her new workspace was on the higher levels, the levels that required an ID card to get to. Rey watched the floors tick away, before Phasma's heels were stepping through parting doors and clicking down shiny hallways, past offices with huge windows and important looking men buried under paperwork or on the phone. All men. Phas was walking like she owned the entire building.  
Rey didn't blame her.

'Here we are!' She announced, taking the box back from Rey and nodding to the door in question. A very firmly shut door.

Rey smiled at her friend before rolling her eyes and squaring her shoulders.

How many times would it take before it was considered too many times to say thank you?

She quietly opened the door and slipped inside.

Hux was fast asleep at his desk, head nestled in his arms on his desk.

Rey stared at him for a moment, the tension seeping out of her. No thank you's just now, then. She glanced to her right and noted the desk with her boxes of possessions. Her gaze drifted around the expansive office, realising that she'd have to relearn where everything was. Like the blanket and pillow she knew he kept. One of the cupboards caught her eye, so she tip-toed across the room and peered inside, victoriously pulling out the worn blue square of soft fabric. With a flourish she shook it out and stood behind Hux, carefully placing it over his hunched form.

He shifted slightly, mumbled something as she tucked the edges around him.

'Go back to sleep,' she whispered as she caught a hint of the green in his eyes.

Hux grunted something, but his face turned back into his arms and his breathing evened out again.  
Rey moved back to the door, hand on the handle as she glanced over her shoulder at her boss. They'd need curtains on those ridiculously big windows to help shut out the light. This wouldn't be the first time he'd sleep in this office.

'He's asleep.' She said as she shut the door behind her in Phas' office.

The blonde looked at her before nodding and shrugging her shoulders.

'He was in all night, working. I don't know what on, he's gotten all mysterious and pigheaded again.' She rolled her eyes and returned to the bookshelf she was currently stacking. Rey moved to her side, picking up a pile and handing them to her as needed.

'I should make him something.' She decided aloud. Phasma grunted, more interested in alphabetising her library than the plight of Hux. A gift as a thank you, so every time he saw it he knew what it was for. That way, unless he shoved it in a drawer, he'd look at it far more many times than she could ever say thank you. It was a win/win. But what sort of present would she make him? A scrap ash tray? That would be easy, and useful for him. But a bowl was boring. Rey hummed and picked up another stack of books. A space ship. That would be fun! She could make him a space ship ash tray, name him the General of it, or something. She almost giggled out loud at the idea. Hopefully the present would help relieve him of some of his stress.

\-----

Kylo let the guitar fall from his hands, staring straight at the window as the instrument hit the ground hard. Snoke scowled at him from the other side, arms folded over his chest, wrinkles on his face deepening with immense dislike.

Kylos grin was feral.

'Want that out of your next pay?' The disembodied voice asked through the speakers.

'Didn't know I had any pay left to be taken from.' Kylo spat back.

'You should put that venom in your music. Might make it more fuckable, or sellable or something.' That was Reg, from behind the booth. Kylo growled and kicked at the damaged instrument on the floor.

'I wrote you another song, not good enough for you?' Kylo tried instead, fingers curling into fists, shoulders tensing as he swung his gaze from the top of Reg's head back to Snoke. The music mogul and pay withholder shook his head slowly.

'I want music for the Knights of Ren, not delusional Kylo Ren,' Snoke sneered. 'Add grit, heaviness. We need sex and rock and roll, not whatever this shit is you're trying to push.'

Kylo bent down and picked the guitar up by it's bent neck. Making sure to maintain eye contact, he wrapped his second hand around the frets and swung hard, driving the body into the wall. Wood fractured and metal warped, strings falling loose as the shock shuddered through his arms.

'There's your grit.' He said. 'How about you record Reg fucking one of his hookers and call it a day then, yeah? Cause I don't see anyone else writing the music in this shit hole.'

'You're on thin ice.' Snoke scowled heavily, eyes gleaming under the brim of his dark hat. It was to hide the dent in his skull, a stylish sort of helmet to protect the cavity in his head. Kylo wanted to bring the guitar down hard on that soft flesh, boneless and weak. He wanted the man at his feet, writhing, spasming, foaming at the mouth. He wanted that to be Reg. He wanted them both at his mercy.

The door opened to reveal Reg, bristling and posturing, pupils blown wide and high as all fucking get out. The small hairs on the back of Kylo's neck rose, goosebumps racing up and down his skin at the prospect of a fight. He was itching for it. He wanted fist to hit meat, to hear the sickening thud of bone and flesh and blood. After Plutt, after Rey, he needed mess and mayhem and violence. He needed to rage this out something shocking.

In this very moment, trembling with frustration, stuck in this hell, music trapped in his veins, hate coursing through his mind, blackening his vision, he wanted to fuck his brains out, he wanted to tear apart the room, be balls deep in some faceless bimbo of creature, wanted to be so under the waves of cheap whiskey that he could no longer tell up from down to back to right to left to all get out. He wanted to destroy and be destroyed.

He flexed his torso, his arms, and grinned savagely at Reg.

'You want some help?' Reg asked, his voice strung out, slurred, but tense. 'I can help you. Fuck, I'll give you a beat on the drums, you write a fucking song. I can give you some pointers on how to stick it to a bitch, if you'd like? Or is it that piece you've been hanging around with? Is she what's got you so twisted you just can't do it anymore? She withholding?'

Kylo's fist was millimetres from Reg's nose when Snoke's voice halted him.

'I hear you're about to terminate your lease?' Ben's hand dropped and he turned slowly back to the man that owned his soul.

'Yeah?' He said, suddenly, unexplainably nervous. How could Snoke possibly know that? 'What of it?' He asked. It wasn't as daunting now that he had Rey's bed to return home to, no matter how platonic it was. Who needed a swanky apartment when you had housemates that cared for you?

'Must be hard to afford breaking bond and damages when you have no job. And you do so like to cause damage.' Snoke's voice was velvet, curling softly through the room. Reg seemed to be in some kind of seventh heaven at the sound, the look on his face euphoric in a way that Ben had only seen on him when he was shooting white into his protesting conquests. The realisation sat sickly in his gut, nauseatingly vile with the connotations and mental images.

'I haven't damaged the apartment.' He said, voice weaker than he'd intended.

'They always find damage.' Snoke said. 'Always.'

'And your point?' Ben pressed. He had no idea where Snoke was going with this. What could the man offer? A room in Snoke’s mansion? Fuck that. He already had no pay, no say over his music, his band was turning against him. The only positive in his life at the moment was his lack of home, of being able to rely on a friend, of seeing her smiling face when he walked through the door.

Fuck.

This.

He opened his mouth to say as much.

'Write the album the way we want it and I'll overlook the damage you've caused today. I'll overlook your previous misdemeanours. Reinvest yourself in the band, provide me with a draft of the album, and if it's what I want I'll reinstate your pay. You need it to afford to live, Kylo.'

His voice was so smooth, so coercive. Darkly melodic and charming.

Ben stared at the old man in his dark suit and hat, with his sagging skin and gleaming eyes, the knowing smile curving his lips as he stood and waited for an answer.

Pay.

He was going to pay Ben again. Going to give him money. All he needed were some shitty songs.

Did it really matter if it wasn't what Ben wanted to write? How long would it be before Snoke started forcibly shooting him up to get him into the same mind-addled state as Reg? Until Ben became as easily controllable, as useable for any of Snoke’s whims? Until Ben was just some music machine, spewing shit for another hit, another word of praise, until he was the one clinging to Snoke's coat hems, desperately licking his boots for recognition, for fame, for wealth, for more, more, more.

All he had to do was write some shitty music, wait until the end of the contract and then break free. God, how hard could that be? How long would it be? Ben didn't even have a copy of the damned thing and he knew as sure as Reg would bend over and hold his arse open for the conniving bastard, Snoke wouldn't provide him with the documents. No. Perhaps Ben would have to grit his teeth and play the game.

'When do you want it by?' He asked softly into the silence.

Reg stumbled to his drum kit.

Snoke smiled from behind the glass.

\-----

'Junior.'

Hux looked up as he father strode into the room. His head ached, and the blanket he'd woken up under was still wrapped around his shoulders. Unprofessional, most definitely, but he knew who'd placed it on him, so he couldn't currently bring himself to care.

'Sir.' Hux said, sitting up a little straighter.

'You look awful.' Hux Senior said. Hux said nothing, he simply watched as his father sat down across the desk, legs spread before him. 'Where's your little thing? Her desk hasn't been touched.'

'Working with Phasma, I believe.' He answered, having heard them giggling earlier as they'd left for lunch. He didn’t so much as twitch a muscle at his father’s description of her. It wasn’t worth the effort. 'What do I owe the pleasure?' He turned his father's lecherous attention away from the prospect of Rey.

'The accounts department has been having a field day with you.'

'Oh?' Hux responded casually. He folded his hands on the top of his desk, as if his monitor wasn't filled with reports on his father's dealing with Snoke, as if he hadn't been sifting through financial records and deals all night until he'd passed out from exhaustion.

'You authorised quite a large sale.'

'It will be profitable.'

'Jakku?' His father scoffed, disbelief written in the curl of his lip, the arch of his brow.

'I have the council's full support, and have already bought properties. Everything is out for tender, and contracts are being signed.'

'You went too big, Junior.' He chided. 'I expected better of you. That's a lot of money and you'll be funnelling it all into a pit. We'll get no return. You need to watch your spending.'

'Building won't go ahead until a percentage of the units have been sold, and contracts for businesses have been signed, ensuring a functioning town. It will work.' Hux said, keeping his face and voice neutral. His father had signed off on this, the board had signed off on this. The argument was to try and bring him down a few pegs, to shake his confidence. His father wanted him in top position when Brendon Hux the First was ready to step down, not to be ousted from the top spot by his overeager son.

He studied the grey patches in his father’s hair and didn't smile.

'Trust me. I made a sound decision.'

'And your next project?' His father pressed. 'What will you follow up with?'

'I'm researching, for now.' Hux answered easily. With the profit margins he would be raking in soon, he was in no rush.

'And the money you've been methodically setting aside?'

'In case I need it.'

'Hux!' Rey stepped into the open office. She stopped as she saw the CEO. In her hand was a plastic bag and a Styrofoam mug. 'Oh, sorry, I bought you lunch.' She rushed in and placed it on his desk.

'What, you're not going to put it on a plate for him? Do you know what floor you're on, girl?' The CEO scoffed. She scowled darkly, face hidden from the older man, but Hux had a full view of her face. She didn't bother hiding it from him.

'Thanks, Rey. Why don't you start unpacking your desk?' He said. She nodded stiffly, pulled a crumpled napkin from her pocket and dumped it on top of the plastic bag. She turned with a polite smile for the benefit of the CEO and headed to her small work area.

'Well, the Board will be interested,' Hux Senior said as Rey dropped one of the boxes noisily to the floor. 'But they'll be watching you closely.' Rey rattled something, shifted her desk so the legs grated on the floor. 'No more unnecessary spending.' Rey dropped another box, then picked up the first and slammed it on her desk. Hux Senior glared at Hux, lips curling in distaste at Rey's obnoxious behaviour.

Hux watched his father placidly.

'I'll see you later, Junior.' He said and then marched out of the room.

The moment he was gone, Rey flopped into her chair and began silently organising her things.

Hux pulled out a toasted sandwich.

They sat in comfortable silence while he began to eat.

'Oh, excuse me,' Mitaka knocked on the open door. 'Phasma isn't in here?' He asked, looking around, as if expecting the leggy blonde to be hiding behind the pot plant in the corner.

'No.' Hux drawled when Mitaka didn't move.

'She isn't in her office.'

'I can take a message?' Rey offered helpfully from Mitaka's right. The man looked at her and smiled uncertainly. Hux fancied that he actually looked slightly more nervous than normal.

'I just ... it was ... I have something for her to sign.' Mitaka said. 'About the promotion.' He added hastily.

'Indeed.' Hux said.

'Yes.' Mitaka said.

He stared down at his feet for a long moment, seemingly lost in thought.

'I'll come back.' He finally said, and scampered out the door.

Hux looked to Rey and found her staring back with equal bemusement.

'He'll come back.' She said, and grinned.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my lovelies!
> 
> Okay, so the future plan is "Dim the Lights" will be updated on Sundays, and "Demonology 101" will be updated on Wednesdays.
> 
> It's hard finding time to write now that I'm working, and these fanfics need to take the backseat to my Manuscript, which is WOEFULLY BEHIND SCHEDULE DUE TO MY LAPTOP DYING A MONTH AGO. 
> 
> That being said, your continually love and support means the world to me!
> 
> Also, you should probably eat pancakes while reading this. I want pancakes every time I look at this chapter =P

He trudged up the stairs, feeling the grease slough off him the closer he got to home, the stress of the day, the exhaustion simply washing away. The sleepless nights of work and phone calls were all worth it. The moment he heard Poe's voice, static with distance and bad reception, the tiredness slipped away and he was an energetic and excited mess all over again. Last night had been a joy of reminiscing and whispered dirty suggestions, very quiet as he'd hidden in the alley out the back of his restaurant, hand down his pants, working in unison with his partner on the other side of the globe. The wonders of modern technology. They'd been giggling messes for over half an hour afterwards, until his boss had come out looking for him.

Sliding his key into the lock, he pushed open the door.

The apartment smelled of pancakes.

But the person at the stove was not Rey.

'Hi,' Finn said.

BB-8 meowed loudly from the island bench.

'Hi,' Ben said. He was dressed in what looked like sleeping pants and a T-shirt. His hair was pulled back into a bun. Pancake batter was smeared over his cheek, and over the top of BB-8's orange head.

Finn dumped his bag on the couch and perched himself on a stool at the counter. BB-8 looked at him for a long moment before standing to press her face into his arm. Scratching the feline absently behind the ears, Finn watched as Ben navigated the kitchen easily, batter bubbling away merrily as a serving plate was fished out from under the counter.

'Hungry?' Ben asked.

'Yeah, actually,' Finn answered, not sure what to really make of the situation. 'Rey at work?' He asked, already knowing the answer as Ben nodded. Moving his fingers to under the pushy cats chin, Finn glanced about the apartment. Everything looked normal, but Rey's door was open, and there was a pile of things that were definitely not hers. 'Started already?' He asked, and Ben nodded again without looking.

Rey had sent a message through the day, a wordy thing about Ben's circumstances and what he'd helped her do, and how he needed a place to stay. It had been a mammoth task and a roller coaster of emotions to get through the essay, which had taken most of his break to read, but Finn had persevered and even agreed. Who was he to turn away someone in need? That wasn't to say he trusted Ben. He'd seen him on stage, and the guy seemed to have a bit of a loose side, but here, standing in the kitchen covered in pancake batter? Finn hummed tiredly.

'It's amazing how high strung people get about the quality of their fast food burgers.' He said, not sure whether he was speaking to a ball of orange fur or the rising eyebrows of his temporary housemate.

'Not enough artery-clogging fat?' Ben suggested, depositing a huge pancake in front of Finn. Strawberry jam and cream were shortly deposited on top and Finn was instantly salivating over the feast. He doubted Ben knew he had a sweet tooth, but Finn was seriously being won over quite rapidly.

'You better believe it,' Finn agreed. 'Too many vegetables, too much lettuce. This tastes suspiciously like a diet coke! Don't want to minimise the sugar intake.' And then he was too busy wallowing in pure tastebud bliss to keep complaining. Oh, Ben could stay. How had he stumbled into two house mates that could cook? What god smiled so kindly down on him?

The stool beside Finn creaked as Ben settled himself down with his own pancake.

Finn put down his knife and fork and awkwardly cleared his throat.

Two amazing cooks, sleeping in the same room. This man, this stranger to him, and his Rey. _His_ Rey.

'So, uh,' Finn stammered, looking at Ben’s profile, at the big nose and expressive face, cream covered lips and a warm brown eye hooded by a thick eyebrow. Ben glanced at him and offered a small smile. There was jam on his nose. 'You and, you and Rey?' When Ben stopped chewing and stared without replying, Finn found himself continuing nervously, heart beating a thousand miles a second, perspiration already beading on his forehead. 'What are ... you know, I mean, it's cool and all, I'm not one to judge or anything but ... but you and ... well, what are your intentions with Rey?'  
'My intentions?' The taller man drawled, eyebrows rising again. Ben was hunched in his seat, as if to make himself appear smaller, fork raised halfway to his mouth, dripping jam and cream.

'Yeah. With Rey, like ... you know.'

Ben continued staring into Finn’s soul for a long, long moment, before he sighed heavily and put down his fork.

He turned to face Finn fully, a quick movement as he spun in his stool, making Finn jerk back partially in surprise.

'I love her.' He said earnestly and Finn replayed the words over and over again until they finally sank in.

'You what?'

'I did, at least, I think I still do, even though I'm not supposed to. It's pretty fucked up.' Ben grinned sheepishly, but his eyes were piercing in their sincerity, as if he hadn't told anyone this before and was eager to get it all out.

Finn felt incredibly inadequate for this situation.

'She doesn't love you back?' He attempted to continue the conversation he didn't want to have. In truth he and Rey hadn't touched on her dating life in a while, not with Poe leaving. It was too raw a subject for him, and he felt awful for apparently having missed his best friend falling in love with this stranger.

'Not at all.' Ben answered honestly. 'We only just became friends, I guess. I'm pretty awful for her.'

'Don't say that,' Finn floundered helplessly, wishing his boss had asked him to do overtime again so he wouldn't be sitting here and suffering this conversation. Why had he decided to play protective dad? The good friend and safety coordinator? Poe, it should be Poe sitting here having this conversation. He knew Poe and Rey talked about things all the time, he wasn't foolish, Poe was far better equipped for this than Finn ever would be.

'It's true. I'm a mess, but she's helping me, so I just want to be a good friend to her, you know? It's all I can do. I don't want to hurt her, in case you're worried. I just want to help.'

'So you're not like her boyfriend? Her cute boyfriend?' Why wasn't the ground just opening up and swallowing him? Finn wanted to groan, to fall face first into his delicious meal and just drown in his misery at the way this conversation was _not_ going the way he'd wanted. A simple 'yeah we're dating' or 'no we're just platonic friends', even 'I'm actually gay', not ... not this!

Ben laughed humourlessly.

'I have her best interests at heart Finn, I promise. I won't hurt her intentionally. I won't touch her inappropriately. She is her own person and I don't want to control her. She is perfectly safe with me,' Ben said with warm eyes and a genuine smile that made Finn's gut twist nervously. This guy was incredibly intense.

'Why are you telling me this?' Finn demanded, at a complete loss for what else to say. What was he _supposed_ to say? 'I just, I just wanted to tell you I'll be keeping an eye on you, and no funny business, and that she's a lovely girl and my family, so you be careful.'

'I know.' And Ben grinned, a huge, happy thing that seemed completely out of place with this scenario, like the guy was slightly out of phase with the universe, living on some alternate plane. 'And I'm letting you know I will let nothing happen to her.' And then his face darkened, a scowl pulling at those cream covered lips. 'Especially not after what I saw in Jakku.'

The shrill jangle of Finn's ringtone shattered the tension, and he sprung for it, over-eager for the distraction.

'Oh, sorry!' He tried to look apologetic, sheepish, anything but the desperate relief he actually felt as he saw his saviour’s name on the screen. 'It's Poe, I should take this.'

'That's fine.' Ben said, with that strangely large smile, before taking another bite of his pancake.

\-----

Rey pushed open the front door to an empty living room.

She could hear Finn, however, and it didn't take her long to figure out who he was on the phone to, or what they were doing. With quick steps, she breezed past the surprisingly clean kitchen and burst into her room.

The shriek died on her lips, though her heart still drummed it's panicked rhythm into her ribs.

'You scared the shit out of me.' Ben said from under the window, crouched over a pile of his things, eyes wide, body tensed.

'I scared _you_?' And then she laughed, closing her bedroom door and sinking onto her bed, letting her muscles ache and cheeks hurt as she laughed. Ben watched her, alarm morphing into concern, until she placed her hands over her face and swept them back, fingers carding through her hair, wiping away the gathering tears, smoothing away the smile.

She needed alone time, processing time, and she wasn't going to get it here, with Ben in her space, with Finn being noisy in _his_ space.

'Are you okay?' Ben asked, standing so he could sit on the bed as well.

'Yeah, yeah.' She hedged, not really wanting to talk about Hux with this man, yet. Hux, god but he wasn't supposed to be her problem. She had resolved to make him a nothing to herself, a boss, a work colleague, not a friend. Someone to worry about, to be concerned for their mental and emotional wellbeing, their physical health. Hadn't sleeping with him been the huge cock up? Hadn't that taught her to be careful? And now what, he'd helped her get a job, paid her out of her debts, how was she supposed to not be indebted, or feel for him? She wasn't an awful human being, she considered herself compassionate, caring, and she was doing all of those things for Brendon Hux, and curse the Maker if that wasn't the opposite of what she wanted to be doing right now.

Was it her problem if he worked an incredible amount of overtime? If he fell asleep in the middle of the day because he was so exhausted? If it looked like he'd lost weight, or his father was a monster?

Yes. Yes it was.

Fuck.

'How's work?' She asked instead, turning to look at the scruffy, dark-haired man curled into her pillows that already smelled of him.

He pulled a face that was meant to be amusing and disarming.

Panic and alarm flared through her instead.

Another one.

This was the other one.

She was supposed to let herself feel concern for this man, to be his friend and be there for him, but how had her life been one slow motion train wreck? She steeled herself for the inevitable fire show as she waited for his answer.

'It's was alright. They didn't like my song, really, but I tweaked it more to their satisfaction.' The smile was bitter, his eyes dark with frustration. He pointed over her shoulder, and she followed the motion, twisting to see a stack of pancakes sitting on her desk.

'No way!' Rey pulled the plate towards herself, picking it up to rest between them.

'You don't want the cream and jam?' He asked when she picked one up and began to shred it with her fingers, savouring the warmth, the soft texture as it fell apart in her grasp. Rey wrinkled her nose at the question.

'I like plain pancakes, thank you though, they smell heavenly. Did you make them?' Ben nodded and picked one up, looking at its barrenness as though it offended him. After a moment he mimicked her actions, tearing off a piece to pop into his mouth. She watched him chew for a moment before doing the same.

Pure.

Pancake.

Heaven.

'Finn likes cream and jam,' he mumbled around his mouthful. Rey looked at him in surprise.  
'You spoke to Finn?' She'd assumed he would've made a beeline for his room to talk to Poe. Ben grinned at her, a lopsided, awkward thing that snagged her full attention.

'He wanted to know what my intentions towards you were.' 

Rey groaned long and loud in mortification. Of course he bloody did, Finn. When she saw him next ... She couldn't help but giggle, though, at the thought of Finn staring down Ben and lecturing him on being a gentleman. Poor, shy Finn against the monstrous height of Ben.

'I'm sorry,' she tried to apologise for her laughter, waving it away helplessly, 'it's a funny thought.'

'It was kind of embarrassing.' He said tearing up his pancake into small pieces.

'What did you say?'

'I told him the truth.'

That silenced her laughter completely.

'The ... the whole truth?' She asked nervously, body jangling with energy. Finn didn't know about the drunken hook up, and if he'd found out through Ben ...

'That we're friends.' Ben clarified, and Rey smiled in relief. 'That we're only friends.'

The relief pooled into something suspiciously like guilt at his words. But that didn't make sense, she shouldn't be feeling guilty about that, isn't it what she wanted?

Today was clearly a ridiculous, emotional roller coaster. Hell, the whole week. Perhaps her period was due, perhaps _that_ was why she was an emotional wreck right now. It was the only logical explanation, because her worry for Hux was _not_ as a friendly co-worker, and her guilt over Ben did _not_ feel as though it were strictly from a friendship point of view. None of this was okay. It was, frankly, incredibly confusing, frustrating, and wholly unwanted. Wholly.

'Tell me about your life.' She said instead. 'Your ... your family. In Jakku, you mentioned them, what do they do?'

The room grew tense again.

Ben was covered in crumbs, his lap a sea of pancake foam as he mindlessly tore and stressed at the food in his grasp. His eyes glazed slightly as his mind turned inwards. A shiver raised goosebumps across his skin, as though the temperature had dropped a couple of degrees, dark hair flopping over his face as Ben drew into himself.

Rey instantly regretted asking the seemingly innocuous question.

'I don't talk to them.' He finally said, just as she'd screwed up enough courage to tell him to forget she'd even asked. 'I haven't seen them in a long time.'

'Why?' She said instantly, unable to stop herself.

'Well, why not?' He countered, and she stared at him as though he'd grown several heads, each uglier than the first.

'It's your family.' She said, unable to believe how casually he spoke about his disregard for blood relations. 'Family is important.'

'It's not the be all and end all.' He said sullenly, shoulders hunching, head dropping until she couldn't see his eyes.

Sighing, Rey rose and stood before him, crouching down to take his hands in hers and squeeze them.

They were clammy, hot and crummy. Five sizes too big, the paws for a puppy that hadn't grown into them yet, clumsy, still learning how to work. But they were his hands. She squeezed tightly and ducked her head so she could meet his eyes.

'Family should be the most important thing.' She breathed earnestly. Perhaps he could see how honestly she meant it, how much she truly needed him to believe it as much as she did, because the flare of anger that sparked in his eyes faded almost instantly. 'Ben, I never had a family. Ever. Finn is my family. BB-8 is my family. I have a family now, as an adult, but as a child I had nothing. Family should be the most important and sacred thing to you.'

He actually looked ashamed as she spoke. She inhaled deeply, readying herself for his stubborn defiance, to beat back against her optimism and beliefs and shut her out.

'My Dad was never around.' He said, instead. 'When I was a kid, I used to wish I was adopted. I guess ... I never really thought about how good a family would be to someone who didn't have one ...' His hands went lax in hers, but she kept her grip on them, lacing their fingers together. 'Sorry.' He added sheepishly.

'It's okay. I just ... it's a sore point.' She said, and his smile widened slightly, though it was sad.

'Mum wasn't, either. But Dad was ... he is the memorable one, I guess, of the two. I spent a lot of time with him when he was home, he was a jokester, the media loved him.'

'Media?' She couldn't help but interrupt. Ben kept speaking as if he hadn't heard her.

'They loved running articles on him, about the mischief he'd get up to, the women he was seen with, the countries he'd visited, how many times he'd been arrested or detained or questioned. There were mentions of corruption, of favouritism, because he was never convicted, but he was definitely doing illegal things.' He huffed a laugh and pulled one hand free to drag it through his hair. Rey wanted to tuck the loose strands behind his ear, but stopped herself. 'Mum hated it. Really hated it. The screaming matches were awful, and I don't blame him for rarely being home. But when they were in public they were all smiles and glitter and gold. The perfect politician and her roguishly handsome husband. And then me, the apparent golden child.'

'Your parents are famous?' She had to ask for clarification, mildly lost already.

'Yeah. Okay, so,' he sighed heavily before dragging himself back so he could lean against the wall, spread crumbs over her blankets. Rey followed him, pushing the plate of pancakes away in favour of curling up beside him, still holding his hand. 'You see all those shitty magazines with celebrity gossip? I was in them. All the time. I was supposed to be some glorious student with fantastic grades and perfect clothes and charming wit. Except I was scraped knees, bloody noses and really not photogenic.'

'Don't say that,' she hedged, but could already envision Ben as an awkward, gangly child, too pale, with dark eyes and messy dark hair, feet too big, ears too big, nose too big, so out of proportion and lost.

'Mum hated Dad because he undermined the authority of her position. But she still loved him. That's why they fought all the time, when they were home. When they weren't it was just me, and it was quiet.'

'How old were you?' She asked, mildly horrified at the thought of parents leaving their child home alone.

'Young. Uncle Charles always looked after me. He was nice, but a real stickler for protocol. It's like they dug him out of some English castle. He sucked, too, at being a parent.' Ben sighed again, head falling sideways until his cheek rested on the crown of her head. He was warm against her, solid and there. 

Her heart felt as though it was breaking, little by little, as he spilled his life to her. His honesty was blinding and brilliant, raw and painful. Rey wanted to pull him into her lap, stroke his hair, cuddle him better, tell him it would all be okay. Tell that little boy that it would all be okay. 

'I got chased by reporters wanting _me_ to comment on policies my Mum was reporting. I was _ten_. I didn't even really know what my Mum did. And then they'd ask about the woman my Dad was seen with, about several women he was seen with. How was I supposed to answer that? I didn't know. All I know is that my Dad has remained faithful since the day he met Mum. I know that.' He said it with such fierce determination that Rey didn't doubt him for a moment.

BB-8 mewled softly, making Rey jump. She hadn't realised the cat was in the room, let alone curled up on Rey's desk.

'Because of them I didn't really have ... friends, at school.'

'Because of your parents?' Rey hadn't had friends, but she'd also barely been allowed to go to school. The kids hadn't wanted to know the weirdo that worked in the scrap yard, who was always half-starved and in clothing several sizes too small.

'I went to one of the best schools in the area. The kind where your parents needed to be earning at least six figures, and they had to be someone before you were even considered for entry. We were all of the above, but to half the parents my Mum was Satan, and to the other half I was a criminal. Like father, like son. So you can guess what the actual students thought of me.'

'So you joined a metal band,' Rey grinned, trying to lighten the mood. Ben simply frowned, staring down at their joined hands.

'I got in a lot of fights, ended up in a lot of articles, made my Mum mad, disappointed my parents. They wouldn't listen when I told them that I was the one being bullied, that I was only fighting back because I was sick of the bloody noses, and the names, the shoves and jabs, the snide remarks. They'd trash my property, sneak into staffrooms and destroy my assignments. You know what they did? They sent me to a boarding school on the other side of the country. And I didn't go home again. I went to college, met Hux and stayed here.'

Oh.

Hux.

'Hux is your Finn.' She breathed out in horror.

'What?'

'Hux. He was your family. He's what's important to you, and I got in the way and ruined that!' Mortification, sorrow, guilt, it all swirled thick and heavy inside her, churning up nausea.

'Rey, what? No, hey, it wasn't your fault.' He grasped her face in his hands, twisting so they were face to face. 'I guess Hux was my Finn,' he said with a small smile that spoke of a sadness that was all too familiar to Rey. 'He helped me when no one else would. He knew who I was, but he didn't care. He made me stop listening to critics and reporters, he helped me focus and study. He was my first real friend, all of that's true. But it's okay, because this is life and life is shit, okay?'

'Life shouldn't be shit!' She shot back, blinking furiously to stop an embarrassing onset of tears. 'Your life wasn't fair! Your parents, those kids, none of it, and because of me that one good person you had, you can't stand anymore.'

'No, Rey.' He pressed his forehead against hers.

'You're that one good person. Hux is an insufferable bastard. He always has been, and he always will. He meant the world to me, but because of him, I have your goodness now.'

'That seems like a lot of responsibility,' she hedged, suddenly aware of how impossibly close his face was. Was he going to kiss her? Should she kiss him? Was that what a friend should do out of sympathy? To make him feel better? What was she supposed to do with all this information? And Hux? Why did it always come back to Hux, lately? His breath was sweet against her face, in contrast to the bitter odour of stale sweat that seemed tangled in his hair. His cheeks were stubbled, lashes long and black, eyes a warm brown as they peered into hers.

' _I'm_ a lot of responsibility.' Ben said. 'But I'm trying to be better.'


	28. Chapter 28

'You should see your parents.'

'What?' Ben groaned. She felt the blankets pull as he burrowed back under them. He wasn't a morning person, she was learning quickly, and conversations first thing in the morning were usually a no go, but it had been on her mind since their talk the previous night. He had a family he didn't talk to, presumably hadn't seen in years. She couldn't let that happen, not if she could help it!

He'd helped her, now she'd do the same.

Family was important.

She rolled over so she was lying across his chest and tugged the blankets down from his face. He stared at her blearily, red lines marring his cheek where he'd slept on the folds of the sheet.

'What are you talking about?' He groaned as she rested her chin on her hands, feeling his voice rumbling through him. His pulse was a steady thrum under her fingertips.

'Your family, you should see them,' she repeated, making sure to blow a lungful of morning breath into his face. It earned her a wrinkled nose and a warm sparkle in his gaze. She adjusted slightly so she was resting more atop his warm torso.

'I don't want to see them.' He said, lifting a hand to card it through her hair. He snagged a couple of knots, but he wriggled them out fairly painlessly.

'You should, though. If I had family, I'd want to see them.' It was a low blow, possibly, but true. Surely he had to recognise how important having people that cared about you was. Family was supposed to be there, no matter what. Friends were great, but family was the blood that bound. Allegedly.

'Rey, no.' He said, and his voice was cool, the sleepy timbre gone as his face hardened, mouth thinning. 'I don't want to.'

'After my exams I have some time, we can go together. Come on, Ben. It's important. Do it before it's too late!'

'Too late for what?'

'Before life gets in the way!' She said in exasperation. 'Before someone gets sick or dies or leaves the country forever. Before you get married and start a family and can't travel ever again, I don't know. Life. Life gets in the way of lots of things.' Like of her ever having the opportunity to ever meet her own family.

His finger traced the bridge of her nose, calloused and slightly rough, trailing over her cheekbone to tuck her hair behind her ear. He hummed gently and the tone vibrated through her.

'I have to go to work.' He finally said. She raised her eyebrows, trying not to let the disappointment show on her face.

'It's Saturday.' He grunted, a mixture between a laugh and a frustrated groan.

'Musicians don't keep tidy schedules.'

'Another reason to see your family now, before you become so rich and famous you don't have time for anyone.' She prodded him as she made her point.

'I'm getting up.'

'You're not!' She pressed her whole weight into him as she felt his muscles tense. And then he was rising up, as if she were no heavier than a sheet, and he was rolling her over so she was on her back and he was hovering over her. And then she was all too aware of the smell of him. The hint of yesterday’s deodorant, the stale sweat, the morning breath, the waft of shampoo. He was so big and solid and there, muscle and shadow and lazy smile, face so close to hers.

'I have to go to work.' He said softly and she felt her breath go short.

And then Ben was up and out of the room, her door slightly ajar so she could hear him greeting Finn good morning.

Rey stared up at her bedroom ceiling, trying to reason out the hot flush crawling up her chest and into her cheeks. The way her gut had twisted when she'd realised, with him leaning over her. She'd just been sprawled over him, spent the night curled into his side sleeping, natural, causal, so why now, why did that particular moment trigger ... trigger what? Attraction?

It was because she felt indebted, and she knew what he wanted. That was all it was. She felt indebted and didn't know how to truly pay him back. The same way she was feeling Hux's misery and exhaustion. She felt bad for them. They had helped her, now she felt like she needed to help them. She owed it to them.

That was all it was.

Luke.

The name popped into her head.

Luke could help her.

He’s Ben's Uncle! He would have Ben's family details, he could help her get in touch, organise a gathering. She could do it without Ben even knowing. A surprise, give him the shove he needed.  
Rey sat up, throwing her blankets off in her excitement.

She could contact Luke, get the required numbers, organise a weekend, hell ... a week away! Get Ben back in touch with his family, a support network. People that cared and would look after him. This would be too easy.

\-----

Rey pushed open the office door and was not in the least bit surprised to find Hux behind his desk.

'It _is_ Saturday, isn't it?' He asked when he spotted her. Rey grinned and gestured to her very non-corporate gear. Jeans and a t-shirt, rust stained and paint flecked from previous craft projects.

'I have a question.' She didn't bother asking why he was here. Hux arched an eyebrow, so she continued. 'Professor Skywalker, I need to call him.'

'Why?' Hux asked, work forgotten as he stood, knees and back cracking, to round his desk and stand in front of her. Rey tilted her head back slightly to maintain eye contact. She always forgot how tall he was.

'I have a ... a personal question for him.'

'About Ben?'

'Yeah.' She mumbled, ashamed to already be caught out. 'I figured, because you used to be faculty, you might have a contact number somewhere.' Also because Hux was incredibly fastidious, so he probably had a list of every employee on the campus grounds still in his possession.

'You would be right.' Hux said. 'Only because he is Ben's family, though.' Her eyes flew up to meet his in surprise.

'What?' She gasped. Hux shrugged a single shoulder, meeting her gaze evenly with calm green.

'He may be a thick-headed moron who doesn't understand the benefit of family, but I do. Luke has approached me a few times in the past, so I made it a point to keep his contact details close, just in case things were to ... were to change.' Rey could feel the appraisal as he scanned her face, his lips twitching slightly into a smile. 'I'll give you his number, but go home Rey. Have your weekend. You deserve it.'

'You do as well, Hux,' she shot back, following him to his desk as he picked up his phone, a notepad and a pen. The redhead huffed dismissively.

'Here's the number, now go.'

'Thanks,' she breathed, fingers curling around the piece of offered paper, numbers written in impossibly neat writing. Hux settled himself back at his desk, turning back to his computer screen.  
Rey paused by the door, looking back at him, bathed in blue light, at the blinds half lowered over the windows, the flourishing pot plant that she'd maintained.

'He misses you, you know,' she said, fingers pressed to the smooth doorframe, picking at a non-existent divot.

'I know,' Hux answered, just as softly, tapping away at his keyboard. 'Unfortunately we are both quite stubborn.'

'I can be, as well.' He looked up at her, then, looking far older than he should in that instant.  
'I know that, too.'

\-----

The dial tone stretched on endlessly as Rey perched on the stool, ignoring BB-8 as she waited, waited for the tone to connect, for the line to fizz to life, for a voice to-

'Hello?'

'Luke?' She said, bounding to her feet, startling the cat.

'Who am I talking to?' He sounded just as gruff, just as old and bemused and resigned as he used to, all in those five words.

'Rey. It's Rey, from the college?'

'Oh, _oh_ Rey! How are you? I thought I'd forgotten to give you my details! And then you were gone, but I must have ...'

'You had.' She agreed. 'I got this from Hux.'

'I haven't spoken to him for awhile.' Luke said, the line rustling as though he was sitting himself down. Rey began to pace around the kitchen island and the couch, big loops to try and work off her nervous energy. 'How is Hux?'

'A workaholic, as always,' she said. Luke laughed. 'So, Luke I ... how have you been?' She chickened out, prolonging the inevitable. 'How's retirement?'

'Fantastic, actually. I've been writing my memoir, reading a lot, going for walks. It's fairly fantastic. You're still writing, though, aren't you dear?'

'Oh, well, no, I've been finishing my degree I guess. I have exams soon.'

'It is that time of year again,' he agreed good naturedly. 'But you shouldn't stop. You're very talented. Keep it up, you could become a professor one day, or a well respected voice, an author, whatever you set your mind to. Now, Rey, what did you really want to ask me? I doubt you went to all the effort of wrangling my number from Hux simply to see how an old, kooky ex-Professor is doing.'

'Oh.' Rey stopped beside the couch and stared at the table, studying the worn buttons on the TV remote, the pictures on Finn's magazines.

'Rey?'

'It's Ben.' She blurted out.

'My nephew?' He asked, surprised. 'You still talk to him, then? That's ... that's good.' He sounded pleased, musing. Rey exhaled heavily.

'He's staying with me at the moment.

'Oh,' Luke said.

'Yeah,' she answered.

'Well you're a lovely girl and Ben is a -'

'Weird. Ben's weird, and intense, and a nice guy. He means well.'

'Yes. Yes he does.' She wasn't sure if she imagined the relief in Luke's voice or not. Her pulse was racing, ears roaring, throat dry. This shouldn't be so stressful, she knew Luke was his Uncle, this should be the easy part.

'I want him to talk to his family again,' she said in one breath.

'I'll give you my sister’s number,' Luke replied just as quickly. Not a beat was missed, overeager to pull his nephew back into the family. 'I'll text it to you now. It's been good chatting to you, Rey. Oh, and before you go, don't let my sister intimidate you. She loves her son, but she's a little headstrong. It runs in the family.'

'Thank you.' She stammered before the line went dead. A couple of seconds later her phone trilled with a new message. The name Leia Organa and a number filled the screen. Rey sank onto the couch, casting a furtive glance about herself to ensure that she was still alone in the apartment.

BB-8 was sprawled on the floor in a patch of sunlight, paw twitching with a dream.

There was no time like the present, Rey supposed. She'd dealt with Luke so now why not Leia? That only made sense, right? Do it quick, get it out of the way before Ben or Finn came home and found her out.

'Leia speaking,' an older woman said, picking up surprisingly fast. Rey almost dropped the phone, barely registering that she'd even hit dial in the first place.

'Oh, uh, hi Mrs. Organa?' Rey stammered, getting up and pacing again, free hand flexing into a fist, relaxing, and then flexing again.

'Speaking,' the older woman replied impatiently.

'Oh, um, well, my name is Rey and I'm a friend of your son’s.'

'My son?' The tone was sharp, disbelieving. Considering the circumstance, if Ben had been telling the truth, it would have been years since Leia had heard from anyone sharing a life with her son. Rey smiled, hoping it would carry through the line. 

‘I'm a close friend of Ben’s, and, well, this may sound really stupid, but your son is the biggest idiot I've ever met. He's too stubborn to admit his mistakes, and too headstrong to follow through with his own personal desires.'

'You mustn't be that close to him at all, dear.’ Leia huffed dismissively. Rey could hear sprinklers in the background, a dog barking. ‘His personal desires are the very thing he was headstrong about. Now how did you get this number?'

'Luke. Luke gave it to me.'

'Really?' She sounded sceptical now. Rey could feel herself losing the conversation, feeling the threads of it slip through her grasp.

'Yeah, he was my Professor, and I used to work with him.’ She explained, trying to iron out any wrinkles in the story, to help Leia believe as much of it as possible. ‘I want, well, I was talking to Ben, and he mentioned he hasn't seen his family for a long time. I want to change that.'

'Do you, now?' Was that a hint of … of hope in the older womans voice? 

Rey tilted her head back and stared at the ceiling, the mobile hot against her ear. Yes, yes she did want to help them mend bridges. She wanted to do this for Ben, to expand his support network, give him back the family he felt he'd never had. It was only right, and she could do this for him. If Leia was sounding hopeful, perhaps this wasn’t a lost cause.

'He misses you.'

'If he missed me, he could call me.' It was a defensive thing to say, a knee-jerk reaction that Ben would definitely spout. Heavens forbid but Luke had been right about headstrong.

'You sound just like him,' Rey said, flashing back on Ben mentioning Hux, on refusing to talk to Rey about him. 'You know he wouldn't call, and I know he wouldn't, that's why _I'm_ calling you.' Leia made a sound that may have been a snort, and Rey closed her eyes, smile faltering as she tried to calm herself down and get through this. 'I want you to meet each other again. I don't care how, or where. It can be in my apartment. I just ... you're family. You’re his family.'

'Alright.'

'What?' 

'I said alright. Give me your email address and I'll send through some information. I have a busy schedule, but I'll work something out.' 

'Oh. Okay.' And just like that Rey was rapidly blinking back tears. It had happened that quickly, this turn of events. Leia wanted to see her son, even sounded slightly excited at the notion, despite the gruff words.

'I have to go, just message me, okay?' Leia said.

'I'll, I'll do that Mrs. Organa.'

'It's Leia, Rey. And Ben, how ... how is he?' Rey smiled at the concealed concern, the exceedingly familiar stubbornness.

'He's doing well.' As Rey answered she heard a key in the door lock. 'I have to go now, too,' she said quickly. 'I'll message you. Bye!' She shoved her phone in the pocket just as Ben pushed the door open. His huge frame filled the space, and he studied her suspiciously for a moment as she stood in the centre of the room, arms stuck in her pockets, flushed red from stress and nerves.

'You okay?' He asked cautiously, sweeping hair out of his face.

'Yeah,' Rey said with a smile. 'Yeah, I'm really good.'

\-----

'Where's my mail?'

Rey did not groan or roll her eyes. She simply turned and looked up into the pale, irate face of her boss.

'Probably with the mailman, Sir.'

'And my coffee?' He insisted, lips white with how tightly he had them pressed together.

'I gave you one ten minutes ago.'

There were dark circles under his eyes, normally smooth hair slightly fluffy and messy. Hux was heavily out of sorts. Rey doubted he'd been home once on weekend. It was Tuesday now, and she knew for a fact he hadn't been home Monday night, he was still wearing the same clothes with a purple tie that had a food stain on it. Whatever Hux was working on, he was obsessed. A dog with a bone, definitely. It was driving her up the wall.

'I don't understand why you can't simply have a coffee ready for me.'

Rey did sigh, now, heavily. She stood up, forcing him to take a step back to give them both space.  
'Brendon Hux,' she said firmly, making him blink in surprise and straighten slightly. 'You are exhausted and filthy. You _will_ go home tonight and sleep in your own bed, and you _will_ eat a home cooked meal. Do you understand?'

'Will you make me another coffee?' He asked in a tone she recognised as moderately sheepish for him.

'No.'

Grumbling, Hux slumped back into his chair, arms folded over his chest.

'You're exhausted, Hux, just ... have a nap, okay?' She felt like she was dealing with a toddler, not a somewhat successful businessman in his mid thirties. He was certainly acting the childish part today, though, with his untucked shirt, scuffed shoes and stubble. He was burning himself out, and she couldn't let him do that.

He also looked ready to argue again.

Before he could demand something else of her, Rey headed into Phasma's office.

Mitaka turned as Rey opened the door.

'Oh, sorry,' Rey said automatically, eyebrows rising in surprise. Mitaka was seated across from Phas, a couple of forms splayed across the desk between them, though they'd appeared more invested in their conversation than the documentation.

'Rey, come in, Mitaka was just leaving. Fixing up some pay hiccup with the new position,' Phas said, gesturing her in eagerly. Mitaka scooped up his papers, offered a parting smile, and fled. 'What can I do for you?'

'Hux is being a psycho.'

'It goes with the name.' Phas said. Rey took up the seat recently vacated by Mitaka. It was still warm.

'I was going to ask Hux, but he's being really difficult,' Rey folded her arms on the desk and rested her head atop them, huffing strands of hair out of her face. 'My final exams are coming up and I need a week and a bit off.'

It wasn't a total lie, Rey had looked at her calendar over the weekend, while Ben had been passed out on her bed, leaving her to study to the sounds of his soft snores. She had four days of exams, and if she took a couple extra days off she could work in a visit to Ben's family, as Leia had suggested. The emails had been thick and fast that weekend, ideas, times, transport options, cost, and again and again Leia had been adamant 'don't care about money, I pay, you bring my son'. All Rey needed to do was get the time off and trick Ben. Bad mood Hux was putting a spanner in what was supposed to be the easy part of her two step plan.

'That's fine.' Phas said, leaning back in her chair. 'Take it. Just ... come back, will you? I think I'll probably need a holiday after dealing with Hux's sorry ass by myself.' Rey laughed, how could she not? 'Promise me.' Phasma reiterated, and Rey found herself promising.

'I'd never leave you alone like that.'

'Good, because I can find you, and I will make you pay.'

'So Mitaka's been up here a lot, recently,' Rey said, changing the subject. She looked slyly at Phas, who didn't bat an eyelid.

'Just work stuff,' Phas said.

'Uh huh.' Rey responded sceptically. The guy had been on their floor far more than paperwork would allow for. That's why emails had been invented. 'Are you holding out on me?' She pressed. Phas opened her mouth in horror, eyebrows lowering.

'Rey Smith! I would _never_ hold out on you! I'm giving you a week and a half off work!' Her mock affront was so thick, hand to her chest, voice rising rapidly.

'So with Mitaka, nothing?'

'Honey, if there was a thing with Mitaka, do you think I wouldn't tell you.' Phas said, arching a questioning brow as she dropped the theatrics.

'Well, yes, yes I do. Because that's exactly what you're doing now.' Rey responded with a smile.

Phas rolled her eyes.

‘If a thing ever happens with _Mitaka_ you’ll be the first to know.’

‘Hux knows, too.’ Rey said with a grin.

‘There isn’t anything to know.’ Phas said airily, waving her hand dismissively. ‘It’s no different to how close you and Hux can seem, at times.’

Rey felt her face heat up, managing to swallow the indignation and mortification and denial before it could spill from her.

‘We’re just good friends.’

‘I know.’ Phas said. ‘I also know that it’s time to go for lunch. I can hear Hux pacing, so we should get out before he finds his way in here.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SHIP NAME IS LIEUTENANT CHROME (LT. CHROME).   
> YOU HEARD IT HEAR FIRST, FOLKS!  
> (This is why you shouldn't let LucidLucy and I talk =D )


	29. Chapter 29

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Venturing into the world of Ben Solo's life! Oh ho ho!
> 
> Thank you for your continued support and comments!
> 
> We're on the home stretch now, I can't believe we've come so far together! You guys rock. I couldn't have done it without you all.

'How'd your exams go?' Finn asked. Rey sighed and shifted her weight. Ben felt her heels dig into his thighs as she moved.

'Can you believe it?' She asked them, 'I'm done. Actually done. Finished! All I need to do is graduate!'

'My little girl is all grown up!' Finn sobbed dramatically, throwing his arms over Rey's face and partially smothering her. She flailed, toes catching Ben in the gut, and he grunted lightly. To stop the pain, he clamped his hands over her ankles, pinning her to him.

'Are you going to your graduation?' Ben asked out of curiosity.

'Nah,' was the muffled reply.

'Did you go to yours?' Finn asked, letting Rey get some air, before covering her face again. Ben shook his head, rolling his eyes.

'No point, really. A lot of pomp about nothing.'

'And it's really expensive.' Rey said, beginning to thump Finn in the side so he'd let her up.

Ben gripped her ankles a little tighter and yanked her down, towards him. She slipped through Finn's grasp and squealed in surprise at the sudden movement. She giggled and shook her feet free, sitting upright between the two men. Her shoulder bumped Ben's as she leant more towards him, her weight a warm comfort along his side.

'I'll just work and get them to mail me the certificate.'

'Decided what you'll do with it?' Finn continued, not overly distraught at losing his victim. BB-8 was quick in hopping up and claiming his lap, curling up into a tight, purring orange ball. Rey waved her hands in the air, a vague motion that made Ben smile. He'd done that a lot over his college life to Hux, it had driven the other man almost insane.

'There's money in mechanics but ... I think, I mean ... I enjoyed English, and my Professor really wants me to stick with it ... but I'm really enjoying my current work.'

'What, as a slave to the corporations?' Finn teased, gesturing for Rey to get his cup of tea from the table, now that he was held hostage by the cat. Rey obliged quickly, leaving Ben's side momentarily cold as she shifted.

'Hux is a good boss, Phas is great to work with, and I do actually enjoy my job.'

'It's a good company,' Ben agreed. He'd done work experience there, met Hux Senior, attended seminars, met half the board. That had been the goal, after all, with Hux. Partners in College, partners in business. But then the band had gotten in the way, and Rey had happened. Rey, who currently smelt like flowery shampoo and yesterday’s clothes. There were strands of cat hair stuck amongst her own chestnut locks. He smiled fondly, forcing his thoughts away from the what could have beens, to the what he had now.

'I'll stay with them for now. They may exceptionally well, and Mitaka found a loophole so I can get paid my promoted wage now, which is phenomenal. My study loan is being paid off a lot faster, too! Hell, soon we may be able to afford a better apartment with more rooms!'

'More rooms?' Ben asked, looking down at her. Her head tilted back to look up at him, all hazel eyes and freckled cheeks. He knew he was supposed to be finding a new place to stay, but waking up beside her every morning, coming home late from gigs and wrapping himself around her sprawled body, or having her wake him as she climbed into bed from studying ... he was getting very used to cooking with her, of doing her laundry, of getting scolded by her for how he rolled his socks. He was getting used to the way she playfully argued with Finn about whose turn it was to check the mailbox, and how charming Finn could be when he wanted a meal to be made for him. Ben was getting used to his life here, with them, with her ... he didn't want to live alone again. He didn't want to sleep in a bed by himself, either. He wanted her. He wanted this. He wanted the freaking cat that loved to curl up on his chest and fill his nose with fine, ticklish hairs, and covered his black clothes in orange.

'Another bathroom, maybe!' Rey elaborated. 'A guest bedroom, maybe more space between the bedrooms, so we can't hear Finn and Poe getting it on.' Finn flushed extraordinarily dark in embarrassment.

'You can't hear anything!' He said sulkily. Rey pulled a face, wrinkling her nose and sticking out her tongue.

'Oh, oh _Poe_ ,' her voice rose a couple of octaves, going breathy, ' _ohhh, Poe, yes_. Poe, you're so firm, I - _oohhhhhh_!' Ben felt his face grow hot to match Finn's, grateful that her feet were no longer over his crotch as he felt his pants grow embarrassingly tight, like he was some sort of teenager. He hadn't expected her to be so sexual in her dramatics. Clearly Finn hadn't, either. The poor man was mortified.

' _Rey_ really want to, they're really loud and gross. Sometimes,' she added, voice lowering conspiratorially, 'you can hear skin.' She raised her eyebrows knowingly and Ben wanted the floor to open up and swallow him. God but he was flustered and hot now. Not at the thought of Finn and his attractive boyfriend, but at the sounds and words coming from her mouth, the way she smiled, the way she was laying on the couch ...

'Dinner?' Ben asked instead.

'God, yes please. Can I chop something up?' Finn bounded off the lounge, sending BB-8 flying in a disgruntled heap.

Rey was up after a moment, trailing behind them to perch on a stool as Ben sifted through the cupboards and fridge for ingredients. He was set on concocting some sort of Asian dish tonight. He found noodles and oyster sauce, before rummaging for a couple more things to actually make something edible.

'So what are we doing tomorrow, again?'

'I'm buying you breakfast,' she answered smugly. Ben glanced over his shoulder at her, only to receive a blinding smile that made his chest hurt. He sighed and turned away. Wasn't he supposed to be over this by now? Sure, living with her and sharing her bed wasn't helping, but it had been, what? Half a year? More? Surely it was time for his heart to hang up the notion and move on. No Rey, not for him.

'Shouldn't I be buying you breakfast tomorrow, a congratulations for graduating?'

'I guess it depends on who gets to the counter first.'

'Why aren't I invited?' Finn whined, standing awkwardly beside Ben, waiting to be given instructions.

'Because you have work.' Rey answered, sing-song. Ben knew by the tone that she was still smiling that blinding, infectious grin of hers, eyes crinkling in the corners, fanning soft wrinkles into her forehead.

The conversation fell into Finn's day and the mystical concepts his customers seemed to have about fast food and what sort of service that entailed. They ate, curled up together on the lounge, watching Independence Day, until BB-8 stepped on the remote and switched the screen off, deciding that it was clearly time for bed.

When Ben woke to the frustrating sound of Rey's alarm, it was with the young woman sprawled over him, head on his chest, arm and leg thrown over him. There was nothing elegant about the way Rey slept, and it just made her all the more bloody adorable. Even if there was a bit of drool glistening on his skin. She mumbled incoherently as she slid away to turn off the bubbly tune that she hated as equally as he did on early starts like this. Then she was back, mumbling five more minutes and tucking herself back into his side for warmth.

'What about breakfast?' He rumbled, throat thick with sleep. He wanted nothing more than to sink back into the nothingness, but she'd been so insistent about going out this morning, about leaving by a certain time.

Rey mumbled something and then dramatically slid, feet first, off the mattress.

'Remind me never to be smart again,' she grumbled.

\-----

'This isn't fucking smart.'

Rey rolled her eyes and stared out the window.

Ben-whinge-a-lot-Solo.

She knew he wasn't going to like it, but the moment he'd gotten in the taxi he'd hated it. Because he knew. Of course he knew. They'd barely taken off when he'd said 'this looks like a private taxi. You can't afford those,' and then quick as a flash he was demanding the driver pull over. Fortunately the doors seemed to be kiddy-locked because Ben's attempt to then _open_ the door when the driver didn't stop, failed.

Ben-drama-queen-Solo.

Two hours of intense, sullen silence.

'I'm hungry.' He finally announced. He probably knew where they were, but Rey was at a complete loss on how long was still left on the trip.

'Good for you.' She said, wondering, not for the first time, if this really was such a great idea after all. She glanced at Ben and found him staring at her, arms folded over his chest, smiling smugly.

'Need to pee?' He asked.

'No.' She frowned and squeezed her thighs together. At least, she hadn't until he'd asked her ... 'Why?'

'We still have a while,' he answered, shrugging a shoulder nonchalantly. Rey scowled, sinking into her seat. Her arse was getting sore from prolonged sitting, and as she thought about it, she supposed it made sense. She was up and down at work all the time, at home she was rolling around her bed, or moving about the kitchen, walking everywhere, racing for the bus, fighting with the boys on the couch ... and what a mundane topic to be thinking about, clearly a distraction from the weekend. She'd already spent the past couple of hours contemplating what this trip would turn out like, whether it was worth it, whether his parents actually _cared_. But they _had_ to care, didn't they? If they were paying for the cab fares and the stay?

Rey groaned and let her head thump against the leather seat, face rolling to look out the window as the expensive houses dropped away. The car was turning onto a fenced off road, panels half concealed by shrubs and carefully pruned trees. A black gate of elegant swirls swung automatically inwards on mechanical hinges. 

Rey sat up a little straighter.

Ben was staring out the window, face carefully blank, hands fisted on his thighs.

Here.

They were here.

This was his childhood home.

Rey leant forward, staring eagerly at the amount of green. The sprawling lawns, the enormous trees, carefully tended hedges. And then the house, a sprawling two-storey thing with arched windows and a pitched roof that sported numerous chimneys. The car stopped and the driver got out to open the door for them.

Ben didn't budge, at first, even though he'd almost killed himself trying to get out earlier. Instead he scowled at the fresh air and the sunlight, squinting darkly at the opening front door.

'Well, I'll be damned.' A male voice said from the vicinity of the porch.

'Will you get out?' Rey hissed. Ben huffed, but complied, feet hitting gravel with a crunch. Rey followed eagerly, in time to see an awkward handshake pass between Ben and a shorter, greyer version of him.

'You must be Rey,' the old man said as an enormous creature of shaggy brown hair came barrelling out of the house, tail wagging a thousand miles an hour, tongue dribbling drool all over Ben's jeans. 'I'm Han. The dust rag is Chewie.'

'Nice to meet you,' Rey said. She knew who he was. She'd seen pictures of him in magazines when she was a kid. There was no handshake for her, but an enormous hug that was quickly repeated with the dog.

'Hi Mother,' Ben said sullenly, drawing Rey's attention to the new addition.

Leia was a lot shorter than she'd imagined. And greyer, her locks curled elegantly atop her head. Her face belonged to someone who thrived off determination and power, stern-set yet kind. Rey loved her instantly. It was the sort of face Rey had always imagined her mother might have had.

'It's been a while.' Leia said, though neither she nor Ben moved closer to one another.

Han groaned, leaning in to jostle Rey in the side.

'These two are ridiculous. She wonders where he gets it from, can you imagine?' He chuckled, and Rey couldn't help herself. She laughed. Ben looked towards her at the sound, though Leia was still studying him.

'I always knew you'd be tall,' Leia said softly.

Those six words fractured Rey’s heart.

Her laughter faltered and Ben took a step towards her, concern washing over his features. Smiling dimly, Rey waved him off. It was nothing, really. A stupidly belated realisation. Ben had mentioned leaving young but ... leaving before he'd grown fully, before his mother could see the man he would become? His life had been hard, but that simple sentence ...

'Come inside, I want to show you something.'

\-----

Ben was pressed into Rey's side, their knees knocking together, his hands wedged between his thighs. His back was hunched, head ducked, as if he were trying to sink his enormous being into Rey.

Rey looked across at Leia, her hair coiffed perfectly on her head, clothes smoothly ironed. In her hands was a book, the leather edges worn, the spine faded and creased. Beside her the two seater couch was empty, and Rey knew who she had hoped would sit beside her. 

'I must admit, I was a little rude on the phone,' Leia began, once they were all settled and Han had chased Chewy out of what appeared to be a sitting room. The room was lined with decorative glass cases filled with expensive looking vases and figurines. On the coffee table a spray of bright purple and golden flowers erupted from a lumpy pottery creation that looked as though a six year old had glazed it. 

'I understand,' Rey said, feeling Ben tense even further against her.

'It's just been ... such a long time since I've heard from ... well ... Ben.' Ben flinched, looked down at his hands. 'I just,' Leia took a deep, calming breath that Rey could sympathise with. 'I wanted to show this to you, Ben.' Leia held out the book. When Ben didn't move, Rey leant forward and took it from Leia. It was an album, old and well used.

Rey could feel Ben's interest, watching from the corner of his eye as she opened the cover.

Ben.

They were all of Ben.

Ben when he was born, as a baby in a tub. Ben as a toddler, wearing his mother’s dress and makeup, wearing his dad’s vest and riding a very young looking Chewy. Every school photo was in there, all of the bad haircuts, the giant ears, the scraped knees, goofy smiles; the birthday-cake smeared face, Ben passed out on the couch, late at night in bed with face paint smeared over his cheeks. Ben as an adolescent arched over a guitar, hair in his face; Ben accepting an award in stage, awkwardly shaking his Principal’s hand.

Every photo was faded around the edges, as if they'd been pulled out of their sleeves, touched and handled endlessly.

'I took it with me on all my trips,' Leia said. Her eyes, so similar to Ben's, sparkled with a lifetime of regret and hope.

'Oh.' Rey looked down at the now closed book, trying to imagine the countless times Leia had held this, hugged this, tracing the leather embossing as Rey was doing now, wishing she were at home with her son. Turning slightly, Rey shoved the book into Ben’s lap. He exhaled sharply, pulling his hands out from between his legs, catching it before it could slip off him and onto the floor.

'I thought if someone was contacting me about my son, it would be for blackmail, or media purposes. Rogue son of a politician impregnates woman. That sort of thing.' Ben looked up sharply.

'I would never,' he scowled.

'I can see that _now_ , Ben,' Leia threw back. 'But it's been done before, multiple times.'

'What made you change your mind?' Rey asked curiously.

'You called him an idiot,' Leia said. Ben looked at Rey, a little hurt. She lifted a shoulder in apology and dismissal. 'Only someone who actually knew him would say that.'

'It's the truth,' Rey agreed.

'Can you not?' Ben grumbled, fingers curled around the album. 'I'm right here.'

\-----

It was ... weird, sitting at the dining table, cutlery polished and gleaming, glass sparkling under the chandelier lights. Han was pouring wine into their glasses as Leia tried unsuccessfully to shoo Chewy out from under the table. Rey was simply watching it all unfold, eyes shining, a smile perpetually plastered to her face, honest and real. She was having the time of her life, revelling in the stories, in the sense of home that Leia and Han were displaying. It made him feel guilty, for leaving this sort of life when she'd had none of it.

'You eat lamb, Rey?' Leia asked, finally taking her place beside Han.

'I certainly do,' Rey agreed, shifting in her seat, looking down nervously at the splay of cutlery on either side of her plate. Plates that Ben remembered using as a child. Not much had changed in this place. A few grey hairs, some more wrinkles, but mostly it was all the same.

Over dinner they kept the conversations light and safe. They talked about the weather, the house, family heirlooms, Chewy. And then Han opened his mouth and made every part of Ben turn to ice.

'So how long you kids been dating?' The old man guffawed, and Ben wanted to sink into the abyss and never return. Trust his father to say something so stupid.

'Oh, we -we're not dating,' Rey said with an awkward smile, cheeks feeling incredibly tight. She looked down at her plate and Ben pointed at the set of cutlery she needed to use for it.

'Dad,' he grumbled, 'we're just friends.' He felt like a kid again, sitting on the kitchen stool, explaining that he hadn't stolen any cookies from the jar. He didn't miss the hostile look shot from his mother to Han, nor did he miss the sardonic grin and waggled eyebrows in return.

'We used to work together,' Rey supplied helpfully, to keep the conversation moving along. 'Ben got me a job at the college.'

'And you still work there?' Han asked, sounding actually interested.

'No.' Ben said, not really wanting to elaborate on the shit storm of his life to the two people that had wanted to mould him into a mini version of themselves. The I-told-you-so looks would not be worth it.

'He's in a band.' Rey said.

Ben suppressed the groan, but couldn't stop his knuckles whitening as his grip on his knife and fork tightened. The meat felt thick in his throat as he swallowed dryly, looking up at the interested gazes of his parents.

'He's got his eye on a different style, though, so it's only a temporary thing,' she continued saying, and then blinded them all with a brilliant smile. 'I'm not going to lie, I don't know anything about music.'

'Neither do we,' Leia admitted, leaning forward as she cut into her meal, vegetables already half-eaten. 'We honestly don't know where he got it from.'

'Your grandfather,' Han shot back.

'As you've probably guessed, _most_ of us are intellectuals.'

'I'm an intellectual!' Han said, affronted, tilting his glass at Rey, 'don't listen to her, kid, she doesn't know what she's talking about.'

'Your grandfather was a musician?' Rey asked, turning to Ben.

'Yeah, a real stadium filler, fangirls, merchandise, the whole lot. Spent most of his life touring, barely saw his kids-'

'That sounds familiar,' Ben muttered, leaning back in his seat, pushing the food about on his plate.

'That's where a lot of the money comes from. I mean, Leia and I do alright, but most of it is from him. He used to be in a band: Darth Vader.'

'I've heard of them,' Rey said. Ben looked at her sidelong, watching as her forehead wrinkled in thought, her nose crinkling. 'Not really my style.'

'Nor mine, kid,' Han laughed. 'But he was a big shot, guess Ben here got his head filled with fame and glory and wanted to try it out himself. Not that there's anything wrong with that. You're allowed to follow your dreams.' Ben looked up and met his father's gaze.

He was so much older now, hair grey, face leaner, more wrinkled, grizzled. He was just as scruffy, though; jacket faded, grin lopsided, eyes earnest. He was still Han, the devilish rogue, the man who outran everything except, perhaps, age. Ben offered a hint of a smile. It was the most praise his father had ever given him. It hadn't gone unnoticed.

\-----

'Have a lovely sleep,' Leia said as she began to walk back down the hall. 'I have a few appointments in the morning, but I should see you before lunch.'

Rey waved and closed the door to the guest bedroom.

She sighed and took in the elegant double bed with cream settings, the antique bedside-tables, the drawers, the door to an ensuite bathroom. What an incredibly different life Ben had lived as a child. The food had been amazing, mouth-watering, succulent, every sort of high praise those television chef's blabbed on about. The grounds were amazing, the house perfect, and Ben's parents? She was in love with Han, with his witty, dry humour, and Leia with her slightly cynical yet utterly earnest comments, and the looks she kept shooting her son ... this had been a good idea. It had. Even Ben was behaving.

Sure, he slouched around behind her, hair in his face, feet dragging like he was a fifteen year old, but he was _engaging_. He answered when spoken to, was polite, hell, he'd even sat next to his mother after dinner, as they chatted about nothing of importance. It felt like family, like belonging. It felt like what home should feel like, what Rey had always imagined it would feel like.

The bed felt too large and too empty as she sat on it, but sleep was tugging at her limbs, fuzzing the edges of her mind, so Rey dressed for bed and crawled under the covers.

When she woke up the small bedside clock read midnight.

Rey stretched out under the plush sheets.

The ceiling fan whirred softly, causing the soft hairs on her head to blow about. Sighing heavily, Rey felt nothing but cold mattress. Alone, she felt utterly alone right now, in this house of wealth and other. A life she had never had and never would have. She missed Finn, she missed her worn bed with the spring at the end, where she sat at her desk, that dug in uncomfortably. She missed BB-8's fur everywhere. She ... she missed Ben's warmth and gentle snores.

Darkness greeted her when she opened her eyes, only to morph slowly into a splay of faint light across the ceiling, cast through the drawn blinds. The fan caught and glimmered some of it, clicking on every fourth full rotation. Her groan was long and low, and she rolled onto her stomach, burying her face into her pillow, determined to go to sleep.

The clock read 1:18am.

She threw the covers off and padded barefoot across the room, pausing at the door to the hallway.  
This was a stupid idea.

She opened and shut the door quietly, moving softly down the corridor, rug plush beneath her feet. Three doors away she stopped, hand on the knob, listening. Nothing from inside. No movement, no snoring, no clicking fan, nothing. Holding her breath, Rey entered silently, pressing the door slowly closed and slipping through the room, able to navigate by the light of the clock and from under the curtains.

The mattress dipped under her as she slid onto it, blankets rustling.

'Hey,' Ben mumbled sleepily.

'I couldn't sleep,' Rey whispered. He muttered something she couldn't quite catch, but his arm rose, holding up the blankets for her, and she climbed in gratefully.

'I wasn't sleeping well, either.' He said against the top of her head as she curled into him. 'This place is like some weird nightmare of my childhood.'

'But you're enjoying yourself, right?' She asked fearfully.

There was a long pause as they settled themselves, curling into each other, breaths evening out as sleep slowly started to seep over them.

'Yeah,' he mumbled, voice vibrating through his chest and into her. 'Yeah, I guess I am.'


	30. Chapter 30

Ben looked up as the door opened, momentarily forgetting about to the two small bowls of fruit in his hands as Uncle Charles entered the kitchen. He looked the same as he had a decade ago. Exactly the same. Pale blond hair, dark eyes, a blond moustache, his three piece suit perfectly tailored, gold buttons gleaming, shoes sparkling with polish.

'Master Ben!' The old man exclaimed in delight, 'how marvellous to see you again! It has been some time, and my how you've grown!'

'Yes, funny that,' Ben said, feeling rather bemused at the spectacle in front of him. How had this ancient English butler not aged? And then Uncle Charles spotted Rey, who was seated at the bench eating yoghurt, hair piled on her head in a messy bun, wearing a jacket that looked suspiciously like one of Ben's.

'And you must be Rey, lovely to meet you, dear. Thank you for bringing Ben home, his mother is _so_ delighted.'

'It's lovely to meet you too,' Rey said, taking Uncle Charles' offered hand and shaking it awkwardly. She glanced back at Ben, before her attention was dragged back to the exuberant Englishman.

'I don't know if Ben told you, but I did help raise him when he was a child.'

'Yes, Ben men-'

'He was an odd sort of child, you know. Always daydreaming, running about wanting to play sword fights.' Uncle Charles stood with his hands clasped before him, glasses reflecting the kitchen lights. Ben placed a bowl of fruit down in front of Rey. She glanced up at him, and he raised in brows in return. 'He was very troublesome at school, getting into all sorts of mischief. One time, while I was minding him, would you believe the Principal called? A teacher had found Ben and a female student in a bathroom stall and they were-'

'We're going upstairs now,' Ben cut in, knowing exactly where that particular story was going. It was harmless child stuff, you show me yours and I'll show you mine, he'd been _five_ , but the way his family told it he'd been twenty-two and in a preschool at the time. 'It was good seeing you, Uncle Charles.'

'Oh, oh yes, well, it was quite lovely to see the two of you. I'm sure we shall run into each other again shortly.' Ben didn't wait to see if Rey was picking up her things and following, he just had to get out of there.

The stairs creaked under him as he took them two at a time, the rug soft under his socked feet. It felt really weird walking around these halls again, past paintings he'd stared at his whole life, family pictures of holidays he could barely remember, flower arrangements that hadn't seemed to change since he could recall what flowers and vases were. The library was still the same as he walked by the open door, the sitting room, the ever-locked study door that had consistently kept him from his mother. And then he was curving down the wing that had been mostly all his, save when there were guests. His small domain, his territory, still with the embossed wallpaper, the curling cornices, and the scratches on his doorframe from lugging skateboards and toys in and out. They hadn't touched anything in here, which was slightly odd but rather nice at the same time. A time capsule of a shitty time that now, as he stood here, looking back at it all, perhaps hadn't been all that shitty.

There wasn't an overabundance of toys, like some of the other kids he'd gone to school with. His parents hadn't tried to buy his love. They only ever gave him things he'd been interested in. A bookshelf was lined with astronomy books, novels on space travel and a couple of kiddy physics books. There were guitar beginner guides, dinosaur bone magazines that he and his dad had been fastidious about collecting from the Sunday newspapers. On his walls were posters of Power Rangers and a cartoon he couldn't remember the name of. There was a treasure map from one of his birthdays, where his mother had created a scavenger list and handed him the guide so he could mark out his progress and workout the prize. The prize itself was still in his room, too small for him now, an acoustic guitar. The strings were still good, meaning they'd been replaced while he was gone, but Ben didn't mind. He sank down onto the bed that had once been swamped in stuffed toys until his stroke of genius, about a year before he'd left. As a big kid he didn't need the lions and tigers and dinosaurs that he'd spent his lifetime caring for and naming, so he'd thrown them all out the window into the pool for Uncle Charles to find.

'You okay?' Rey asked from the doorway.

It was definitely his jacket, sleeves bunched up around her elbows, hem hanging midway down her thighs.

Fuckable, the word floated into his mind, and he quashed it quickly. He'd literally just been thinking about his childhood, the innocence, so no, that was not an acceptable train of thought. Besides, this was Rey. He was on good behaviour with her, they were friends. Just friends, she'd made that perfectly clear.

'I'm fine just ... just thinking about the past.' Her bowl clinked as she set it down on the bedside table, leaving the door open as she began inspecting his room in daylight, now that the curtains had been pulled back. She ran a hand over the telescope at the window, capped lens pointed up at the sky.

Ben bounced slightly on the bed, feeling the mattress shake as he shifted his weight restlessly.

'It's strange. I spent my whole life thinking my childhood was awful, yet being here? It doesn't feel like it was that bad.'

'It probably was.' Her answer surprised him, he felt his eyebrows rise in response, watching as she bent to look at a series of bad comics he'd drawn and stuck around his homework desk. 'My childhood was awful, nothing will change that, I just have the added bonus that it looked awful from the outside, too. Here it's beautiful, expensive. Your parents do love you, I can see that in the amount of photos they have of you around the house. If they were ashamed they would have none, they would have hidden you, but there's evidence of you _everywhere_. I saw your old bicycle on the porch yesterday afternoon. But that doesn't mean your childhood wasn't hard. That doesn't negate anything you felt.' Her shoulders sagged and she turned towards him, a soft smile curving her lips. Ben felt it in his chest, the sharp pang of gratitude that he had _her_.

'Thank you.' He said, and he meant it thoroughly, he could only hope she knew how earnestly he intended it.

'Hey, I didn't know you played guitar as well!' She pounced on the old acoustic, plucking it from the stand and almost knocking it against the bookshelf. His chest tightened in panic, and then eased as she thrust it into his hands. 'Play something! Something of _yours_.'

Ben looked down at the grained wood, tracing his much larger fingers over the grooves he'd worn into the fret board, at the star stickers he'd put on the bridge, the grooves in the pins, from where he'd struggled to pull them out to change the strings. Just this one small instrument spoke to him of hours upon hours of sweat and dedication. His grip tightened around it, remembering how excited he'd been to find it, to unwrap it, to see the gleaming finish, the blue bow on the head. This guitar had changed his life, had brought him to where he was now, a trapped musician in an awful contract that should have been a dream. Not his dream, per se, but definitely his band’s. This guitar had given him the first idea that perhaps he could be a musician one day, that he could sing his songs to people and they would love them, just like his Grandpa used to.

It took a moment to adjust to the size, but soon he was clumsily playing something he had never played to anyone, something that wasn't even finished, snatches of lyrics curled in around the minor chords and delicate finger work. Words of peace and starlight, of honeycomb and longing until he knew that she knew what this song was about, who it was about. She was perched on the bed, just out of reach, hands clasped between her legs, head bowed, eyes closed as she listened, a faint blush over her freckled cheeks.

'You have a really lovely voice,' she whispered, when he was done, and then she was peeking at him through her lashes and he had to look away, down at the guitar, at his hands curled around the neck. He fidgeted nervously with the strings, feeling like a teenager all over again, re-tuning the already in tune instrument simply so he could occupy his hands and keep his eyes off her.

'Thanks,' he mumbled.

'Can you teach me?' She asked, sliding closer. He glanced at her in surprise.

'Guitar?' He asked, needing to clarify. She nodded eagerly, her eyes on his hands. It wasn't a bad idea, it would definitely help pass the time while they waited for Leia to return, and the guitar was probably more her size than his ... he thrust it in her direction, and she took it eagerly, hauling it into her lap, arm curving awkwardly over the body. Ben laughed at the image and adjusted her posture and positioning. He curled her fingers into a D sus 4, got her to strum the four strings and watched the smile bloom across her cheeks.

'What's another chord?' She asked, childish delight in her voice. Ben hummed and showed her a G, nice and simply, then an A minor. Easy chords, nice sounding chords, a C. 'What am I playing?' She asked, as he got her to continue, and Ben shrugged.

'It's nice,' he said, and she bounced on the spot, almost dislodging her own grip.

'Does it always hurt your fingers?' She asked, glancing at him as she chewed on her bottom lip in concentration.

'You develop calluses, so it stops after a while, and you can gradually play longer, too. Metal strings hurt a lot more.'

'Those are on electric guitars?'

'Yeah.'

'How do you write songs, do you just make up lyrics?' She asked, and he wrinkled his nose at her, trying to ignore the smile tugging at his lips, twitching in his cheeks.

'Depends. Sometimes I start with lyrics and write the music around it. Other times the music comes first, lyrics last.'

'Huh.' She straightened her back slightly and strummed again, hitting only a couple of bum notes as she practiced. And then she opened her mouth and his brain felt like it shut down because oh ... oh of course she could sing as well.

They were nothing little phrases, tied together by the lovely, soft tones of her voice, little tidbits snatched from other songs. But it didn't matter where they were from or what they were about because she could _sing_. Not just sort of in tune and because she was soft sort of singing, either. He could hear the potential range of her voice, the control she had, although it was untrained ... he simply sat and tried not to stare as her voice washed over him, the uncertain strumming of her fingers on the strings, the little hesitations of chord changes. It was probably lucky he was already in love with her, because after this ...

'You kids look like you're having fun,' Leia said from the doorway. Ben was off his bed in an instant, several steps away from Rey, though they hadn't been doing anything untoward.

Leia looked at him evenly over the rim of her glasses, eyebrows raised questioningly.

'Your hair looks lovely!' Rey put down the guitar as Leia raised a hand and self-consciously patted her freshly dyed hair, dark brown twisted into a new intricate braid.

'Thanks dear, it is nice to drop twenty years!' Leia responded with a grin, turning her attention to the young woman. 'Why don't you come down to the kitchen with me and we rustle up some food, get dinner started.'

'Ben's a good cook,' Rey offered up helpfully, which earned Ben more raised eyebrows.

'That may be,' Leia countered easily, 'but I believe Han was looking for him. Come on dear.'

\-----

Rey chopped up the carrot evenly, barely registering the thunk of the knife hitting the breadboard as she listened to Leia talk about a policy she was involved with implementing, about improving education in poorer communities. She'd never realised how hard the world of politics was, how hard it was to have such an obviously important motion passed and put into effect.

'Do you study?' Leia asked as Rey moved onto the celery.

'I just finished, actually,' Rey couldn't suppress the proud smile, excitement bubbling within her at the sense of freedom, at the finality of it finally being _over_.

'What field are you entering?' Leia asked, gaze focused on Rey's face, genuinely interested in what she was asking. It was nice talking to an older woman, someone that could have been her mother, who cared about her life and her choices. The excitement fizzled into something closer to sorrow for the what-could-have-beens. Rey shook it off quickly, focusing on answering the question.

'I'm working for a friend at the moment, as a PA in housing development, but I studied mechanical engineering and English literature.'

'That's a broad spectrum,' Leia sounded impressed, nodding her head thoughtfully as she chopped up the chicken. They were making a casserole of some sort. Leia didn't seem to require a recipe, favouring the method of 'chop this up and we'll see how we go'. It was the way Ben cooked, too, the way Rey mostly cooked. The exciting, adventurous way.

'I don't know what I want to do.' Rey admitted, handing over the chopping board and perching herself on the stool while Leia hovered over the bubbling saucepan.

'There's nothing wrong with that, dear. I grew up knowing I wanted to help and make a difference, so I've always had a goal. Han? Not so much. Unless you count causing trouble, because he's seemed to have made it his life career.' Rey laughed at the sardonic tone, the resigned eye-roll. Leia was a woman very much in love and very much over her roguish husband. 'Luke, when he was younger, wanted to join the army, can you imagine? Then he decided that maybe politics was the better option, so he began to study similar fields to myself and fell in love with literature.'

'There's just ... so much pressure to need to know now, to decide what I want to do for the rest of my life.'

'What does Ben want to do with the rest of his life?' Rey met Leia’s gaze, an arched look that was so familiar. The look Ben gave her when he really wanted to know something that wasn’t necessarily hers to tell.

'I ... I don't know ...' Rey admitted. 'I don't think he's sure.'

'And that's perfectly fine. You both have jobs, you can both afford the lives you lead, I assume you have good friends because what you're doing for my son right now makes you a wonderful, selfless person.' Rey flushed at the unexpected and unwanted praised, but Leia kept talking through Rey’s discomfort. 'Follow whatever path you want, even if it's the one you're on now. A door will open at the right moment and all you need to do is step through. Whether it's mechanics, as a journalist or as a business woman, I can't say what will be right for you, and what may be right for you now might not be right for you in the future.'

Rey huffed a laugh, resting her head on her hands, elbows propped on the marble bench top.

'You're really smart,' she said, kicking her heels against the metal rungs of the stool.

'I'd hope so,' Leia said, 'I get paid a lot to be. So tell me about yourself, now that Ben isn't here. How did you meet?' Rey felt her face flush about seventy different shades of mortification. 'Ah, I see.' Leia nodded. 'But you're just friends now?'

'I, uh ...' Rey stammered, not sure where to look or what to do with her hands now that she was sitting ramrod straight, fingers skittering nervously over her thighs. Leia laughed, spoon clinking in the pot as she stirred through the veggies, jar of stock in hand, ready to tip in.

'You don't have to tell me, if you don't want to,' Leia said, grinning.

'I don't remember, it was a really bad time for me, and I made a very out of character choice ... and then I went to get some course advise at college and I met Ben and he offered me a job, and then I found out that we, while I was drunk-'

'But you were already friends?' Leia prompted.

'Sort of. I was closer to _his_ friend, but ... I dunno,' Rey laughed at rubbed at her face. 'It sounds really weird and complicated to talk about. But we're friends now. He had to leave his apartment so I offered mine to crash in while he found his feet again.'

'You're a good friend, Rey. I'm glad my son has you. No pressure, though,' Leia added. 'I'm not telling you to marry him, I'm just ... I'm glad he has people in his life looking out for him. It wasn't easy for him as a kid. I wasn't around nearly as much as I wanted to be, and his Dad was always up to something in the media. I know he got bullied a lot, but ... I didn't handle it like a mother should. I wasn't a good parent.' Rey looked at her fingers, studying her dirty nails as Leia talked, not sure if she was the one who should be told this, but she wouldn't stop Leia from talking, not about something so important to her.

'I'm sure you did the best you could, at the time.'

'I didn't,' Leia admitted. 'And don't go talking to the press, because I'll know who told them.' Rey looked up sharply.

'I wou-' she began to protest, but Leia was laughing, waving her hand dismissively.

'I know dear, I'm only joking. About the press. I am serious about him having a good friend, though. He needs people around him with their heads screwed on straight.'

'Because he's an idiot,' Rey said.

'Yeah, mostly. I was always worried he'd take after his dad.'

\-----

'Hey,' Han said, stepping out onto the veranda. Ben watched the old man stretch, could hear the bones cracking and popping as Han rotated his shoulders and twisted his back.

'Hey,' Ben said.

'Beer?'

'Yeah.'

Han popped the lid on the corner of the mosaic table and handed Ben the condensation covered bottle. Ben took a sip and they both sat and stared out over the manicured hedges and trimmed lawns, at the flowers spilling out of pots and from the baskets dangling from tree limbs.

Chewie lay at their feet, tail thumping, panting in the lazy heat of mid-afternoon.

'She seems nice,' Han said.

'She is nice,' Ben agreed, leaning back into the over-stuffed pillows, listening to the wicker chair complain at his weight. The sprinklers hissed as they turned on, a fine mist rising out of the garden bed that ran along the edge of the patio.

'Your life is ... good?'

'It's okay.'

They both took a sip. Ben watched the amber liquid swirl in the bottle, watched his father out the corner of his eye, the grizzled hair, the aging face, the content expression.

'I'm stuck in a shitty contract,' Ben felt the need to elaborate. Han glanced at him for a moment, before training his gaze on Chewie. 'I'm trying to get out of it but ... we'll see.'

'So you got into the music industry, then?'

'Yeah.'

'Didn't you study?'

'I did.'

Han grunted, a familiar sound that carried Ben right back into his childhood. The non-committal sound that could have been an affirmation or a negation. A simple acknowledgement that words had been spoken in Han’s presence.

Ben could hear Leia and Rey laughing, the sound spilling through the open windows. Han glanced over his shoulder, a small smile curving his lips.

'Your mother likes her.'

'I like her.'

'We know you do.'

'She doesn't.'

'Women always figure out the truth. Always,' Han said, creating a nervous bubble in Ben’s gut. 'She knows. You're very transparent. You always were. A really emotional kid, sensitive. Nothing wrong with that, though. You were a good kid. You're probably a better adult.'

'I like to think so.' Ben took a longer swig, almost draining half the bottle.

'So what did you study?'

'Business.'

'With Brendon.'

'What?' Ben glanced sharply at his father. 'What did you say?'

'Oh,' Han looked at him, eyes a tad guilty, probably at being caught out than on spying. 'Your Mum got worried, but she wouldn't do anything, you know? Your decision to leave, you're old enough to make your own choices ... but I kept an eye out, ear to the ground. I got your Uncle to help.'

'We used to work at the same campus,' Ben answered guardedly.

'That was actually a weird coincidence,' Han assured him, stretching his legs out and crossing his ankles. 'When you were in college I got your Uncle to speak to this Brendon kid, your roommate, just to make sure you were okay. You know what that upstart of a kid said?'

'No,' Ben said.

'Told Luke to fuck off and mind his own business.'

'He did?' Ben asked in disbelief. Han huffed a laugh and Ben could hear the respect in his voice when he spoke next.

'Yeah, shocked the hell out of Luke, I can tell you. Luke tried a couple more times because it's Luke, even though I said don't bother, but this Brendon kid said in no uncertain terms that if we kept trying to get to you through him then he'd find a way to get the law involved. He had a lot of teeth. You had a good friend there.'

'Yeah, I did.'

'Did?' Han shot him a sharp look. 'Something happen there?' The women were laughing again as something was knocked over in the kitchen.

'Yeah,' Ben sighed, leaning his head back to stare up at the trellis above him. Small green leaves fluttered in the light breeze as he sank into his thoughts.

Hux had spoken to his family, had told them to get lost? It wasn't out of character, but he'd never mentioned it once, not even ... after ... Ben supposed he'd never really talked about his family in the first place. Hux had hauled him out of his self-destructive ways, set him onto the studious path, the late night study sessions, the healthy foods. Hux had gotten him into cooking, Hux had helped him pass all his courses. Hux had helped him do a lot of things, get through a lot of things, experience a lot of things ...

'You and Mum seem happy together.'

'For the moment.'

'It'll always be like that between the two of you, won't it?'

'I don't think we'd have it any other way,' Han lifted the bottle to his lips.

'Yeah,' Ben said, mimicking the action.

\-----

Rey watched Ben move about the room, getting ready for bed. He tugged on the shirt she'd packed for him, toothbrush dangling from between his teeth, suds on his lips as he wriggled into the wrinkled black shirt. She smiled and leant back against the pillows, hugging her knees to her chest.

Dinner had been good, fun even. Ben had loosened up an incredible amount since arriving, joking with his dad, engaging with his mum. Uncle Charles had joined them tonight and even his strained manner of speaking couldn't break Ben's good mood. It was nice seeing it all unfold, no negativity, no backlash, just general goodwill from parents to child, the sort of thing Rey had never even envisaged for herself. And yet, though she was not theirs, Han and Leia were being just as kind and considerate to her as well. It was ... It was really nice, in the sort of way that made her chest ache with what could have been her entire life, how she could have been loved and cherished by people.

'We leave tomorrow, huh?' Ben asked, returning from the ensuite, pulling his hair back into a braid as he plopped onto the covers beside her.

'Yeah, we do.' She nodded, not wanting to look him in the eye. It was too sad, too final that this would all be over soon. 'Are you -'

'I'm glad you did this, really.' He ducked his head, forcing her to meet his gaze. 'I honestly thought they'd be shitty to see me, but they're actually excited. I guess ... I never thought they'd miss me, you know? They were never home anyway.' He laughed bitterly. 'Makes you wonder what life would have been like, huh?'

'It sure does,' she said as he brushed the hair out of her eyes, tucking it behind her ears.

'What's wrong?' He asked, sinking down beside her, legs curling up to press against hers. Rey shrugged, looking around the room that was wholly young Ben, the foundations of what would become the man beside her.

'I guess I'm a bit jealous.'

'Don't be,' he said, 'they like you. I think Mum always wanted a daughter, so she'd probably love it if you visited.'

'Would you visit again?' She turned the conversation away from herself, not sure how she felt about visiting Ben's parents without him. Wouldn't that be like stealing? And what did one do with parents, or even adults that age? She barely felt like an adult sometimes, what would they even talk about? What did they have in common?

'I think so. Mum's already mentioned that she has holiday's scheduled in a couple of months, but she isn't planning on going away so ... she might come and visit me at my ... our ... well, when I move out I guess, my place.'

Rey hummed and looked at her hands.

Our place.

His place.

An apartment without Ben. Without his clothes in her room, his deodorant, his cooking. Without his stupid jokes, weird hours and ability to recite some movies almost by memory. Without Scrabble matches that Ben almost always managed to win and Finn always managed to lose, and Charades with the complete opposite. No more mundane conversations about groceries, or what the best detergent was, or even who used the last of the soap and didn't add it to the shopping list.

He'd been in her apartment for what ... a week, two weeks?

'Dad said he might come and watch my band play soon, take a night off from Mum,' Ben was speaking low, voice grumbly, but Rey could sense the happiness underneath, the pleasure at being wanted, at feeling valued.

They lapsed into silence for a moment, simply sitting, pressed against one another. She wasn't sure when this had become the norm, when Ben had become her norm. Creepy, quiet Ben who never knew how to talk to her, could only stare, was now someone she felt utterly comfortable with, and apparently couldn't get a good night's sleep without. Turning her head she found his face close, back hunched, neck bent, head down as he looked at nothing in particular, lost within his own mind.

'I'm glad,' she found herself whispering. His face tilted towards her, dark eyes meeting hers.

'For what?' He asked, just as softly.

'That we didn't give up on each other.'

She closed the distance and pressed her lips to his, soft and warm, his breath fanning in surprise across her cheeks, a small sound escaping his throat as he leant backwards and froze.

It felt right, more than right. It felt like it was simply meant to be, like she should have been doing this already.

Ben leant into her slightly when she pressed into him, lips parting against hers, tongues tentatively brushing as they deepened the kiss. Rey whimpered helplessly, because he was good at this, far better than her, as his a large hand rose and cupped the side of her face, spreading warmth through her cheek, fingers tangling in her hair. Ben angled towards her more, deepening, intensifying everything, his lips hot, scorching as he seared through her, kindling a need within her gut that raced pins and needles through her limbs.

'Ben,' she breathed. He pulled back instantly, eyes wide, lips swollen, panting.

'What? What is it?' He asked desperately, voice slightly panicked. She laughed at him, feeling giddy with her decision, with their actions. 'Are you okay?' He pressed.

'Yeah, I just ... yeah.' She grinned at him, and he grinned back, cheeks flushed bright red, eyes sparkling.

To hell with all of it.

Rey lurched forward, sending them both sprawling onto the mattress, Ben on his back, Rey on top. She pressed her lips to his again, eager to taste him, to feel him, because why couldn't she? What was stopping her? Some notion that it wasn't right? That they were just friends? They'd never been just friends, at least in his eyes. Ever. She wasn't blind.

His hand skimmed down her side, fingers curling around her hip, pulling her closer as she wrapped her arms around his neck, thighs pressed against the sides of his torso.

He'd been infatuated with her since they'd met, and when she'd learnt why ... well, possibly not the best reason to become obsessed with someone, but he'd treated her with respect, he'd been there to support her, and actively tried to mean something in her life. And he'd done that, without her truly being aware he was even doing so. He was just ... there. He was Ben. Strange, goofy Ben who made poor life choices and amazing meals, who tried to never look back, but refused to let his friends only look forward, with more creativity in his hands than Rey had in her entire being. Ben who ate his crusts first and always left his favourite chocolates till last, who had a good head for mathematical equations yet could rhyme seemingly incompatible phrases.

Ben, who had helped her revisit her own nightmare and had neither judged nor passed comment. He had simply been there, silent support, silent companion.

He had been Ben.

'Oh,' she gasped as his lips and teeth found her neck, and she clung to him for dear life because she suddenly couldn't let him go. He flipped them, somehow, so she was beneath him, his entire weight bearing down on her, a hot, heavy welcoming mass of Ben. Of dark, silky hair and strong, digging fingers. She ground her hips up against his, desperate for him and for this.

What was the point in waiting for something? You had to make it happen. Wasn't that what Hux was all about? Wasn't that why she and Ben were always floundering? Take what you want. After being here, within these walls, surrounded by these people ... Rey had never seen a dysfunctional relationship work so functionally, had never seen people so happy being in the situation they were. What did it matter if she and Ben didn't work in the next two weeks? Three years? Ten? Twenty? Wasn't it now that counted? She'd spent her whole life waiting, wishing, dreaming ...

'Stop thinking,' he panted against her skin, 'you're making me self-conscious.'

'No, no, no,' she began a litany of them, pressing them against the suddenly bare flesh of his torso, marking them down his shoulder blade, across his chest, up his neck until she found his mouth, her words silenced as he swallowed them. Hot and heavy, their touches frantic as he helped her wriggle out of her own shirt, his fingers speaking of years of practise as he deftly undid her bra. She couldn't find it within herself to care, though, as bare skin slid against bare skin.

Ben was pressing her back against the pillows, his mouth trailing hot and wet down her breasts, sparking lightning and liquid in her belly. He licked and nipped a path down her stomach, kissing scars she'd hidden since childhood. Tentatively his hands kneaded the muscles of her thighs, his mouth tracing along the waistband of her pants. Rey squirmed, unable to stop herself. She could feel his smile against her skin.

He lifted her slightly, and she helped raise her hips. Her pants were tugged off quickly, underwear caught in them as Ben wriggled them down her legs, his hands trailing behind and for a moment she wished she'd shaved. She shook off the thought, what did it even matter?

Every thought flitted from her mind an instant later as his breath ghosted over her, over where - oh ... _oh_! Her back arched, body singing as his mouth descended, tongue flicking expertly against her clit. She couldn't contain the moan as his fingers dug into her thighs, his tongue pressing down on her, drawing out small squeaks and pants of pleasure as she chased the building sensation, chased his tongue, his mouth as he pulled away, a lopsided grin spread across his wet-slick cheeks.

'Oh, stars,' she breathed, reaching up for him, wanting to hold him, needing to hold him, needing _him_. He joined her eagerly, caging her in with his arms on either side of her head. She wrapped herself around him, legs curling around his waist, fingers curling around the length of him - and how was he supposed to fit? He was bigger than she'd thought he'd be, but she'd done it once before, hadn't she? His lips caught hers again and she could taste the musk of herself, could smell her own arousal.

'You're amazing,' he sighed against her lips as she guided him, nudged him against her entrance, let him go so she could wrap her arms around his neck, pressing their torsos flush together.

'Fuck, Ben,' she groaned as he slid into her, thick and filling, stretching her. He couldn't seem to stop his own groans as he began to thrust, holding her tightly, wrapping his height around her. She kissed him deeply before pressing her forehead to his, gazing up at him, eyes misting as she tried to focus on his glazed brown irises. His breath was hot against her, their bodies slippery with sweat as she raised her hips to meet each thrust, faster in their desperation, quicker in their eagerness. Her thighs were trembling, body tensing as he hit that one spot, repeatedly, again and again until she wanted to curl in on herself, until she couldn't see him, could focus on nothing except the sudden snap of bliss that washed through her, searing through her limbs. It sizzled through her body, along her nerves, caressing her skin as he suddenly pulled back, leaving her empty, and then the weight of him pressing down on top of her, the weight of his arousal against her belly, the hot wet mess of his come spilling against her.

'I love you,' he groaned, forehead pressed to hers, eyes bleary. And then his entire body tensed.

'I know,' she soothed away his doubts, pressing kisses to his sweaty cheeks, whispering them along his lips, his chin, down the length of his neck. Ben sighed against her, letting himself lean to one side until he was laying down. Rey cuddled into the warmth of him, surprisingly unconcerned by the mess smeared over her stomach. She just wanted to be here, wrapped in his arms, breathing in the scent of their sweat-slick sex, of their deodorant and breath, shampoo and soap. She wanted to soak in his warmth and his kindness, selfishly basking in the feelings he had for her.

'In the, uh, interest of full disclosure,' Ben mumbled against the top of her head, pulling her from her thoughts. His hand swooped large, soothing circles up and down her back. 'I should tell you something ... about Hux?'

'What about Hux?' She asked, confused. What the hell did Hux have to do with right now? 'I know we had a thing before, but that was then. We're honestly just col- well, I guess we're friends, really.'

'I know,' Ben said, his free hand pushing tendrils of hair from her forehead, tucking them behind her left ear. 'It's sort of in the vein, though.' His body was gradually tensing against her, jaw tightening as he worked himself up to admit whatever it was he needed to say.

'Just say it,' Rey said, more annoyed at the drama he was creating by not telling her. She was losing the languid, post-sex feeling as his nervousness made her nervous.

'I've slept with Hux.'

'What?' She said in a half snort, half bark of laughter in disbelief.

'Yeah, I just ... you should probably know.'

'When?'

'When we studied together,' he said, looking up at the ceiling.

'How ... how did it ... happen?' Rey asked, not really knowing where to take this at all. She'd never really pegged Ben to swing that way. Hux ... well, now that she knew she wasn't overly surprised to be honest, but Ben ... not that she minded. She liked sleeping with guys, too, she couldn't judge.

'It just did, naturally I guess. We stopped when we graduated and moved out separately.'

'So you guys dated then?'

'Just friends.' Ben corrected.

'A-huh.'

'What?' He said defensively.

'Friends with benefits?'

'Just friends.'

'Hux and I are _just friends_ and we're not sleeping together.'

'You did though,' he said, and the lightness he said it with surprised her, as if the act hadn't ended an even closer friendship than she'd initially imagined, as if it hadn't caused him endless heartache.  
'But not still.'

'Same thing, though. We were just friends.' He paused, and then looked at her again. 'And we ... I don't want to be just friends with you, though,' he mumbled almost shyly.

Laughing, Rey wriggled up his body, to bring her face closer to his. She framed his cheeks with her hands, holding him still.

'I don't want to be just friends with you either, Ben Solo.' She pressed a kiss to his nose.

'It's because I come from money, huh,' he joked dryly.

'Oh, you bet it's just because of that,' she giggled mischievously as he wrapped his arms around her middle, pinning her to him. 'I can't think of a single other reason!'


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? An update?
> 
> Sorry for the month break.   
> I was dealing with a lot of negativity around this. I even had a huge rant that I decided not to post.   
> I had no inspiration for this chapter.  
> I was working on my manuscript.  
> Real life got in the way for both my beta and myself.
> 
> You know, same old, same old.
> 
> So enjoy =]

The stairwell was blessedly empty as Ben trudged up the worn steps. Faded, half-torn posters and sticky tape covered the black walls, worn grey from years of people and equipment rubbing against the paint. The carpet was patchy, brown where the threads had worn all the way through. The silence could only mean that they were rehearsing, already hard at work at whatever Snoke was having them do.

Ben had checked his emails when he'd gotten home, checked his messages as well after he'd turned on his phone. He wasn't even sure when turning it off had become a habit, the only way he could escape the incessant demands of the band. Sure enough there had been a multitude of missed calls from Snoke and Reg, even Pod. He didn't bother reading the messages about a missed gig and the weekend rehearsals. The emails about this week's schedule caught his attention, though.

'Woah,' Reg scoffed, drums going silent as Ben stepped into the sound booth, dumping his bag on a spare seat. 'Guess his highness decided to grace us with his presence.'

The rest of the band watched him with a stony indifference, faces carefully blank as they slowly dropped their gazes down to the instruments at hand.

'Where have you been?' Snoke looked up from his customary spot in the corner, hat perched on his sunken head, eyes spitting fire, lips curled in disgust. His withered hands were wrapped around a drink bottle as if he wished it were Ben's throat instead.

'A family thing came up,' Ben answered honestly.

'Bullshit, you were fucking that bitch,' Reg spat from behind the window. It was the only thing that saved him as Ben saw red, felt red, tasted red.

'You don't speak to your family,' Snoke said darkly, though Ben had never said anything about his family to anyone in the studio, he was certain. If Reg knew how well off the Solos were ... Ben was beyond certain he had never said a word of his family situation. His short fingernails bit deep into his palms.

'Well that's where I was. Do I need a note from my Mum?' Ben spat back, wishing he never had to see the greyish face of this old man ever again. Not for the first time Ben wished Reg had never convinced him to sign the fucking contract.

'Some things have changed since you left,' Snoke said airily, as if Ben had never spoken. Rheumy eyes turned to look in at the rest of the band. Toby was studiously fiddling with the strings on his guitar while Adam watched, Pod was staring down at his feet, chewing his bottom lip. Reg's full focus was on Ben, a manic sort of glee twisting his features. What drugs? Ben found himself idly wondering, his thoughts strangely disassociated from the tumultuous rage in his gut. What drugs were Reg on right now? Was he on anything? Most likely, if Snoke was in the building. Did he have to suck Snoke off for them?

'Should answer your phone once in a while, Kylo,' Reg sneered. The urge to slam knuckles and break bones was almost overwhelming. Ben breathed deeply, exhaled softly.

'Mm,' Snoke agreed, 'perhaps then you could have partially redeemed yourself. You've been having some ... attitude issues, Kylo,' Snoke said, folding his hands in his lap, smoothing them out over the bottle. 'Because of this the band feels it in their best interest for Reg to be their spokesperson.'

'They do, do they?' Ben asked, not overly caring. He hadn't realised he _was_ the spokesperson, and who the fuck even cared about that? 'Found a new singer yet?' He couldn't help but taunt. Reg's face darkened, expression murderous, grip tightening around his drumsticks. Ben didn't bother suppressing the sardonic grin, letting it spread across his cheeks.

'You're in serious trouble,' Snoke answered. 'Legal, monetary trouble.' He rose stiffly, using the table beside him for leverage. 'From the top, gentleman,' Snoke said to the band, who dutifully began to play a song Ben did not recognise. 'You see, you signed a contract, Mister Solo, and you are expected to uphold that contract.' The blood in Ben's veins froze.

Up until now, Ben had assumed Snoke thought his name was Kylo. The contract had been signed sloppily, name a scrawl, indistinguishable. Just how much did Snoke know about him? His name, his family status? All obviously thrown out in conversation to make a point.

'What if I don't want your contract?'

'But they do,' Snoke pointed to the window. Ben looked at the guys he had spent the past few year with, sweating away with, fretting over chords with, partying with, learning with, exploring with, enjoying life with. His musical family.

'Didn't I tell you that if you do your part you'll get paid again? No more penalties, just some songs.'

'Sounds like you're doing that yourself, though,' Ben said.

'Fuck off,' Reg's beat fell silent as he rose, cymbals clattering as he knocked them in his anger. 'What the fuck do you expect? You're never here? When did you get so fucking selfish? A band is about a group of people! _Not_ your fucking self! Grow a pair of eyes and look around you dickhead!'

'Oh, you want to start, Reg?' Ben stepped closer to the window, shoulders tensing, hands clenched, jaw tense as he scowled. 'You really want to? Because as I see it you're the one letting everyone down. Drugs? The fuck is wrong with you? You let him shove them up your arse, get you fucked quicker, huh? Wasn't the point of the band to have fun, see where it goes? Pretty sure blackmailing your lead fucking singer into working isn't _fun_ , Reg. And while we're at it, why don't you pick up a guitar and write a song? Lay down a vocal track? Oh. Oh, that's right, because you're tone deaf. Yeah, good one mate, so keep the beat and shut your fucking mouth.'

'Calm down, mate!' Adam snarled, making Kylo blink and Reg's head whip in his direction. 'The fuck right do you have, eh? Picking when you want to come and go like you own the joint? Nah, we're all on contract, you work when you're fucking contracted to work. How're we supposed to earn if we don't have a singer? You're the face of this thing and you're not there, we don't get regulars and we don't get paid because we can't _play_.'

'It's not about you,' Toby agreed, catching his courage from Adam.

'I wasn't going to get paid anyway!' Ben shouted. 'Why should I work for free? We never gigged for free even when we began!'

'So?' Toby answered before Reg could, 'think about the rest of us. We all have rent and bills to pay.'

'Oh, do you? Sorry, I missed that when my pay was cut and I had to cancel my lease because I can't afford to _live_ anymore.' Toby had enough decency to look a little bashful, but Adam was still stone faced. Reg was livid, cheeks flaming, eyes hard. 'This is supposed to be fun! Instead I'm being forced to write music I don't _want_ to write! Doesn't anyone else see the problem?'

'We're contracted as we were playing when we were signed,' Toby hedged.

'No, bands grow and I'm not allowed to apparently help us grow!' Ben raged. He felt like his words were hitting the glass and bouncing back at him for all the emotional impact they were giving the band. Four strangers stared back at him, more concerned about their upcoming gig than their singer.

Snokes hand was cold as it curled around his forearm.

'Come into my office, we need to talk.'

'I don't want to be alone with you,' Ben yanked his arm away, the point of contact burning, bile rising in his throat.

'What the fuck is he going to do to you?' Reg sneered.

That wasn't the point. Ben stared down at Snoke, at the hat perched on his head, the slightly crooked nose, the wrinkled flesh contained by an expensive suit. The man was sickly, frail, emaciated. Everything about him was weak. His aging frame, his poisonous demeanour, but Ben could feel the fear curling in his stomach. This creature held too much power over him. In those crippled hands he had the power to crush Ben’s livelihood, the last of his dreams. One word from this _thing_ and Ben would never work a day in the music industry again. 

'You're in serious trouble, Kylo, if you don't play along,' Snoke hissed, eyes turning hard, voice dropping low and dangerous. 'You want your money problems to go away? You write us some music, you get us some gigs. We get record sales, merch sales, we're all happy, you get paid, we all get paid.'

'What if I don't want to?'

'Want has nothing to do with this anymore, now get in that room and start!'

Ben stood for a moment, shifting his weight from foot to foot as indecision curled through him. He wanted out so bad, but this was what he'd dreamt of his whole life, to be involved in music. His band was relying on him, the front man, the singer to make their dreams come true. He wasn't the be all of the group; hell, Toby had been the one to piece them all together, but it was Ben's music, Ben's voice. Without him they were four faceless musicians again. They needed him to draw in the crowd, earn their sales.

For one moment, a second that dragged out for eternity, Ben turned to walk out the door, to leave this all forever. Fuck the contract, the debt. He'd figure it out, he'd figure it all out eventually. He hesitated, seriously considering it ... and then he turned and walked into the studio, plucking the mic from the stand and sitting on a stool.

The guys around him shifted uneasily, amps whining feedback loops as they moved. Then Reg settled himself behind his kit and began the beat.

Two songs in and Ben could feel his head throbbing, teeth gritting with the effort to stay calm.

He could feel Reg's eyes boring into his back, Snoke leering through the window, dollar signs flashing in his beady eyes. Adam and Toby refused to make eye contact with Ben, while Pod stood nervously in the corner, ignoring everything except for the bass in his hands.

It was wrong. All of it.

He shouldn't be here, but he had to be.

The pressure of it all.

It was all _wrong_.

'Fuck it.' Ben said loudly into the microphone, savouring the way it was amplified and thrown back at them.

'What did you say?' Snoke said instantly, rising shakily from his seat.

'I said: _Fuck. It._ ' He made sure to enunciate clearly and loudly.

'No, fuck you!' Adam snapped, stepping forward to get in Ben's face. Ben stared up at him impassively, heels digging into the bar of the stool. 'We have a gig this week! We have recording to do! Fucking show up and act like a man! Do your fucking job!'

'I wrote the songs, I know what to do,' Ben said, feeling incredibly calm. He stood up, chest brushing against Adams, towering over him. To his credit Adam didn't stand back, face darkening in frustration, fingers curling into fists.

'The point of _band_ rehearsals is to rehearse as a _band_. Make sure we're _tight_! Now sit down, shut up and act your fucking part!'

'I want to write my own music,' he said as calmly as he could. 'I want to move us past this stage and onto the next.'

'What if we're happy with this stage?' Reg shot back. 'What if we're happy where we are?'

'What stage?' Pod finally spoke up from the back. 'What would the next stage be?'

'A different sound,' Ben said, looking at Pod, 'natural progression.' The kid looked back, guarded interest in his caged expression. He seemed like he wanted to step closer, to stand by Ben, but then Reg snorted.

'The money is where we're at now,' Reg said.

'It was never supposed to _be_ about the money!' Ben said in exasperation.

'You will lose everything if you walk out that door,' Snoke hissed through the window.

'I'll be back tomorrow,' Ben said, eyes still on Pod. The kid was looking at his shoes now, shuffling nervously. 'Don't get your panties in a twist.'

\-----

Hux pulled his jacket on, distaste curling through him at the wrinkles that refused to drop out.

Rey handed him his bag and he almost closed his eyes at the feel of her hands against his back as she bodily pushed him through the door. She was a feisty one, that Rey, so determined to get her way. All morning she'd been pestering him to leave, to go home and get some rest. What had it been, three days since he'd left last? And now she was finally getting her way. A shower and sleeping in an actual bed certainly sounded like a good idea. Plus the amount he was paying on rent? It was a shame to not actually go back to his place once in a while.

The elevator seemed so slow as it descended, dinging each floor as they passed. Exhaustion sat heavy on him, as if racing the incredibly slow box, to see if it could pull him into sleep before they hit the ground floor.

The lobby was a chaos of noise and people as per usual. The receptionists were clattering at the desks, speaking overly loudly as they answered the phones. He recognised a few faces coming and going, a board member, a couple of salesmen from the third floor, Ben -

Hux stopped mid-stride.

Ben.

As if hearing Hux's thoughts, Ben looked up from where he was seated in the foyer, elbows resting on jiggling knees, hair strewn across his face. He was half concealed by a pot plant, the green fronds partially hiding his face, but Hux knew who it was, and Ben could see him.

Hux had half a mind to keep walking, to just breeze out the door, hail a cab and go home. Instead he found himself moving towards Ben, his feet carrying him across polished floors until Hux was standing before him.

'Hey,' Hux said, voice wavering slightly.

'Hi,' Ben said, looking up at him with dark brown eyes, throat bobbing as he swallowed nervously. Something in Hux's gut clenched tightly. Something he hadn't felt for some time, and hadn't expected to feel again for this man. He was clearly more exhausted than he'd thought.

'What're you doing here?' Hux asked, looking down at soft, dark hair and pale skin smattered with beauty marks.

'I dunno,' Ben mumbled. 'I just ... didn't wanna go home right now.'

'So you came here.'

'You and Rey spend all your time here.'

'We _work_ here Ben, we have to,' Hux said and Ben shrugged his shoulders noncommittally, still jiggling his legs. 'Hey,' Hux held his hand out, a peace offering. 'Let's go get a drink, okay?'

Ben stared up at him for a long moment, longer than Hux had enjoyed Rey's hands on his back, longer than the elevator ride down. It stretched on and on until warm fingers curled around his palm and tugged slightly. Hux helped haul him up until they were almost flush against one another. And then Hux remembered himself and where he was and stepped back, clearing his throat as he did so.

'You look awful,' Ben said.

'I feel it.' Hux admitted with a wry smile.

\-----

'You need to sleep,' Ben said as they settled themselves into the corner booth of the busy cafe. He said it in an off-handed manner, a statement of the obvious to cover the concern that briefly flashed across his face. Hux tilted his head ever so slightly, pretending the worry wasn't aimed at the way he'd just stumbled, almost spilling his coffee over himself and the table.

'I was on my way to do just that,' Hux smoothed his hands down the front of his wrinkled jumper.

'Oh.'

They lapsed into silence, sipping at their drinks. Ben stared at the table, studying the coffee rings and scuff marks with complete focus. Hux scanned his face curiously, mapping the worry lines, the dark curls, the long black lashes, the days worth of stubble.

'How have you been?' Hux asked, not dropping his gaze. Ben looked up hesitantly, large fingers wrapped around the mug of his cup.

'I went home.' Whatever answer Hux had anticipated, it wasn't that one.

Home.

The place that had messed Ben up so bad Hux had been the one to straighten him out again.

'How ... how was it?' Hux asked, watching the minute changes that flickered across Ben's ever expressive face. Nervousness, restraint, happiness ... glad, Ben was pleased with it. And then he was nodding gently.

'Good. It was ... they really like Rey.'

'Oh?' Of course Rey had been meddling, it was the only reason Ben would have ever gone back in the first place.

'Yeah. It was good to be back. Weird, I guess. But good.' 

They lapsed into silence. Hux sipped at his coffee. Caffeine had stopped working midway through yesterday, so he savoured the slightly bitter taste instead, trying to enjoy it instead of merely drink it out of necessity. 

‘You and Rey seem to be … close now.’ Hux said. Ben, who had been sitting with his chin resting on his palm, watching the cafe patrons, tensed, shoulders stiffening. 

God he was tired.

‘Yeah,’ Ben said tersely, eyes focused on a mother ordering at the counter, young boy perched on her hip.

‘I’m glad,’ Hux said lamely, setting down his cup and turning it so that the handle ran perpendicular to the table's edge. He smoothed his fingers out over the slightly gritty surfaced and allowed himself to close his eyes for a moment. 

So tired.

‘I’m sorry.’ Hux looked up at Ben in time to see dark hair swirl as Ben’s head snapped in his direction.

‘What?’ Ben said. Hux grit his teeth for a moment before hissing out the word again, a little more strained this time. Apologies weren’t his strongest suit.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘For what I did.’

‘Oh.’ Ben glanced down at the table. A pink flush spread across his cheekbones, tinging his ears. Hux tilted his head curiously, before meeting Ben’s gaze as the taller man looked back up. ‘I don’t know how you did it but … thanks for helping Rey … with her … situation.’

‘It was nothing,’ Hux waved his hand dismissively. It had been for her, not Ben. Hearing Ben’s gratitude about it was unsettling, for lack of a better word. It was insightful, and caring. When Hux had found Ben on campus, rather lost and grouchy, other people’s feelings had been the least of Ben’s concerns. Hux had been grouped in with that, of course. Ben came first, which was a strange sentiment considering that _Hux_ had always come first. Always. 

And then there had been Ben’s wants. Ben’s desires. Ben’s feelings. 

Everything had been about Ben.

Hux’s life had become Ben.

‘I mean, you’re still a fucking arsehole but …’ Ben disrupted Hux’s chain of thought. ‘I get it.’

‘Get what?’

‘It’s Rey. I get it.’ He shrugged his broad shoulders before raking his hand through his tousled hair. ‘You liked her, you slept with her.’

‘It was rather mutual at the time,’ Hux said, sounding more petulant than he would have liked. He took another sip of coffee, already nearing the end of it. Ben had drained his the moment they’d sat down. 

‘I know,’ Ben was looking away again, glaring at some indeterminate spot on the menu board. ‘I get that. She’s a person. You can’t own a person.’

‘Not legally,’ Hux agreed.

‘You’re both adults, it’s just … you …’

‘I was an arsehole.’ Hux answered helpfully. ‘I was an inconsiderate fucking arsehole that slept with your girl.’ Ben went silent at that, his cheeks flushing redder.

Hux watched the change quietly. It was a blush he recognised, one of embarrassment and happiness. He’d seen it when they’d woken up together after all night study sessions, seen it when they’d cooked a meal together or Hux had leant him a shirt because Ben hadn’t done his washing for over a fortnight. It was the blush of a man quietly content with his current state of life. 

Involving Rey.

His girl.

Hux’s frowned slightly.

Ben had been an agitated mess in the foyer.

So not work, then. He was not content with his work. Hux sighed, feeling his shoulders sag as he sank back into his seat.

‘Come see me tomorrow, in my office,’ Hux said.

‘Why?’ Ben asked.

‘Meet me at eleven, I don’t have anything scheduled.’

‘But why?’ Ben was leaning forward, dark eyes boring into Hux’s, eyebrows lifted in question, demanding a response.

‘I need to ask you something, but I can’t do it here, and not when I’m about to fall asleep and drown in this horrendous coffee.’ That drew an amused huff from Ben, but the answer didn’t assuage the curiosity written plainly over the dark haired man’s face.

Hux rose slowly to his feet, body protesting the movement. He needed to get home and shower and sleep. He felt like he was moving through molasses, his brain running on low gear. Ben stood with him, sliding out of his chair, long limbs unfolding.

Without thinking, Hux pulled Ben into a hug, wrapping an arm around him.

‘Eleven O’clock tomorrow. Don’t be late.’ He said, before quickly pulling away and rushing out of the coffee shop, his own face burning hot.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, what's this? An update? An actual, readable update?
> 
> Sorry it took so long guys, but it turned out my manuscript was way more important, and Demonology 101 is way more fun to write. 
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!
> 
> Also thanks to the lovely LucidLucy, who helped flesh this out from 'I don't want to write this' to something way less shit! You're the best, wifey!

Eleven O'clock came and went without any change to the day’s monotonous responding to emails, accept a meeting here, respond to a proposal there, and requests for further information that should have been sent in the first place. Rey had spent the majority of her time with Phasma. He could hear them giggling occasionally through the barrier of two doors. It had proved to make his day even quieter without her sitting at her desk. 

Hux was glad that they were getting along, though, that she had an independent ally in the world he'd dragged her into. It wouldn’t be right for her to rely solely on him. As much as he wanted her to, she needed someone else, someone separate who’d stand up for her and tell her to stop listening to Hux all the time. 

'Hey,' the door creaked open slightly, interrupting his thoughts. Ben’s curly head poked cautiously through the crack.

'Hey,' Hux echoed, feeling surprised despite himself. Part of him had expected Ben to stand him up, had expected to be blown off. The other half had imagined Ben walking it at eleven on the dot, all false bravado and dismissive words. Nothing prepared him for the almost sheepish smile, the shuffling feet as Ben slid into the seat on the other side of the desk, folding up his enormous frame at one thirty-nine.

'I'm here.' Ben said lamely, fingers curving over the arms of the chair, clenching and releasing.

Hux leant back, the chair tilting with his weight, leather creaking. He studied the tall man, the dark eyes under dark brows, dark hair swept back from his face, the dark moles speckling pale flesh. He looked unkempt and stylish in his leather jacket and hoodie, totally at odds with the heat of the day beating against the office windows.

'So you are.' Hux said, before adjusting his tie, refusing to think about it as a nervous gesture. He cleared his throat and slid a pulled a neatly folded piece of paper out from under his keyboard. It slid across the desk and sat in front of Ben for a long moment.

'What is it?' Ben finally asked, staring at it as though the paper would spring up and maul his face.

'Read it.' Hux replied helpfully.

Ben tilted forward, leather groaning slightly as he plucked it between two fingers and pried it open. His eyebrows shot up, eyes widening as he looked up and stared hard at Hux.

'What is this?' He demanded roughly.

'An offer.' Hux laced his fingers together on the desk and leant forward, waiting for something more from his oldest friend. Anything other than the disbelief warring across Ben’s face. He wasn’t sure if it was his imagination, but he fancied he could see something like hope flickering behind the initial rage and shock. It was to be expected, Hux supposed. It wasn’t like the old days, when Hux would offer an olive branch and Ben would grasp it with both hands and _pull_ desperately. Ben was his own person now, struggling against the world. Help, especially from Hux, wasn’t necessarily his first choice, but Ben was here in Hux’s office, so he clearly wasn’t as adverse to the idea as he was making himself out to be.

'Hux I can't.' Ben looked ready to crush the paper in his fist, turn it to pulp with his own anger. 'Are you trying to bribe me?' His breath sounded hiccupy, almost panicked, the hard stare dissolving into a floundering expression. 

'For what?' Hux asked before inhaling deeply, reminding himself to stay calm. This was a fine path to tread and he had to do it very carefully. While he hadn't been working on this for long, he was fairly confident he could pull it off as successfully as he had with Rey's gift. They were both fiery little hellions. He'd dealt with one, he could deal with the other.

'I don't know,' Ben said grouchily. 'But I have ... what ... what is this even for?' He tossed the slip back onto the desk where it landed face up. Hux studied the scrawl of numerals on the surface.

'I'm offering you a job. That's your starting salary with the potential for raises.'

'I _have_ a job!' Ben shot back. 'My dream, remember? To be in a band? To follow the music train to the end!'

'To be like your Grandfather?' Hux tried not to sound condescending. He had to win the stubborn git over, not alienate him. 'Ben, you're not doing what you want to do. You need to stop lying to yourself. You're not happy.'

'I'm happy!' He said a little too quickly, eyes black fire, fingers clenched into fists. 'I have ... I mean, my life is good right now, okay? I don't need your help anymore! You can stop looking after me!'

'I'm worried about you.' Hux said, dropping the business act, allowing himself to actually look the part of the concerned friend he was, regardless of what right he had to be one now, after everything. 'I just want to help, and this is how I can do it. I just ... Think about it, okay? You don't have to do this forever. It's very good pay, for a position I know you'll do well in. It'll almost be like old times, working together.' Ben opened his mouth angrily, but Hux kept talking, determined to make his point. 'You don't have to keep the position forever. The music you're doing now isn't what you want. Your Manager is horrible, you're not getting _paid_ Ben, and don't deny it, I already know. This is to help you get back on your feet. I'm not telling you to give up your dreams, I'm telling you to be sensible. Take a step back from the negatives in your life, build yourself back up again, make yourself truly happy and then find the music you want to be making.'

Ben stared at him for what felt like an eternity. Hux's heart beat an uncomfortable staccato in his chest, threatening to burst through his ribs, out through his business shirt and onto the table for Ben to see. Had he said too much, that he knew about Ben’s situation? Was that overplaying his hand? The concern was genuine, but Ben shied away from obvious help. Had it been the right move?

Hux wasn't used to second guessing his decisions, it grated against him. He took a shuddering breath and then leant back in his chair, feeling it dip slightly with the motion. Over Ben's shoulder, Hux could make out a shadowy figure against the glass in the door, hovering on the edge.

When Ben still didn't speak, Hux pulled open the bottom draw of his desk, pulling out the files he'd been working so hard on.

One after the other they thudded against the table, paper sheets spilling out of the manila files.

'What is this?' Ben began to look at them, despite his grouchiness. Hux watched as recognition and then horror began to steal across Ben’s pale face, plush lips thinning into a white line. 'What _is_ this?' He repeated, more slowly and dangerously than before.

Hux allowed the silence to hang between them for a moment. He’d had the words chosen long ago, multiple speeches for the various moods of Ben Solo. Right now, in the moment that’d he’d been hoping for, Hux suddenly found himself at a loss for words. It didn’t happen often, but he kept the annoyance from his expression as he looked at Ben. Looked at the tensing figure that sat hunched across the desk from him, teetering on the brink of internal combustion. 

'Snoke was the owner of the unit block you lived in.’ Hux finally said softly. Soft had not been in any of his iterations, but it seemed to be the best choice. ‘There were no rent increases in any apartment other than your own. Your homelessness is because of your Manager, who is refusing to currently pay you what he legally owes you.' Soft had been the right choice it seemed, as Ben deflated, sinking in on himself. 

'Well I can't sue him,' Ben said, tossing the damning reports back towards Hux. 'As you said, I have no money, and he'd win anyway.'

'He would,' Hux agreed readily. 'But I can fix this. I can make it all go away. You just need to trust me. Step away from him, leave that toxic relationship behind. You can work for me, or go somewhere else, it's your choice, but I will fix this for you regardless. Just say the word Ben.'

Ben was pacing around the office before Hux had finished his impassioned little spiel. His fists were clenching, unclenching, teeth gritted, eyes narrowed at his own thoughts.

Hux let the silent display of confused aggression play itself out, until Ben was sitting on the floor with his head in his hands.

‘Why?’ He asked. ‘Why are you doing this?’ 

Frankly, Hux should have expected the question. He should have had a list of reasonable answers. It seemed he wasn’t nearly as prepared for this meeting as he’d thought he’d been. He opened his mouth and then closed it again, honestly at a loss for what to say.

‘What’s in it for you? Some new complex to show your Father how great you are? To show Rey what a knight in shining armour you are?’

‘No.’ Hux said quickly, almost desperately, hands splayed over his desk, pressing tensely into the surface. ‘No, I’m … I’m doing it for you. Because I want to.’ Hux shrugged his shoulders helplessly, hating how disturbingly underprepared for this he truly was. ‘It’s not for Rey, she doesn’t factor into this. It isn’t an I scratch your back, you scratch mine deal. You’re not happy. I want you to be happy. I don’t care if you don’t want to work here. I don’t care if you decide to spend the rest of your life busking. You’re talented, incredibly so, and determined. I believe you can make it in whatever you want to do with your life, but not under Snoke. Not where you are right now. You’re in a no-win scenario and I want to help you escape. This is for you and only for you. No one else. Not for me or my pride, not for my Father, or Rey, or your family. Only you.’ He felt out of breath after his impassioned spiel, gasping for air as he pushed his hair back from his face, trying to smooth it back into place. This was an utter mess. 

'What am I supposed to do?' Ben asked softly. It wasn't directed at him, so Hux remained silent as he stood slowly, adjusting his suit so that it sat perfectly on him. He rounded the desk in a few short strides, approaching Ben with a neutral expression that he had to struggle to put into place. Tugging up his pant legs slightly, Hux squatted down beside him.

'It's your decision,' he finally said when Ben looked at him, exhaustion sagging in every line on his face. 'I can't make it for you. I can help, but I'll only help if you want me to.'

With a slow, sad nod Ben slowly picked himself up off the floor.

Without a word he moved to the office door and pulled it open.

Rey squeaked in surprise, caught red-handed. Her mouth open and closed rapidly, trying to find words as Ben looked down at her. Large shoulders rose and fell in a heavy sigh, big hand splaying against her cheek, before he pulled her under his arm and dragged her out of Hux's line of sight.

Well, it hadn't gone _awfully_ , Hux supposed, standing up and dusting off the legs of his trousers. He moved to the windows and stared down at the street, hands clasped behind his back. It hadn't been an outright rejection, and he'd actually listened to what Hux had to say. There had been no outright denials, no throwing of anything. Ben had been ... mature in his handling of the whole situation.

The giant idiot was growing up by himself.

It was a strange thought, after so long, after so much dependency.

But it felt good, to need to wait for Ben's permission. Good yet bittersweet that perhaps that help wouldn't be needed at all. How else was Ben supposed to get away from that scumbag, though? Hux was his only way out, short of murder, and Hux seriously hoped Ben wasn't about to do that. He was 90% certain it wouldn't come to that.

Far below, Hux watched as Rey and Ben crossed the street. He wasn't surprised to see Ben lean down and press his lips to hers, or to see Rey throw her arms around him and hold him close, trying to hug away the badness.

He found he wasn't hurt by what he saw, but strangely pleased. It was good that they'd gotten past whatever their hold up was, that Ben had pushed through his own personal barriers and pigheadedness to get to where he was. And Rey ... well Rey wasn't Hux's. She was her own person, and she'd made it very clear she could make her own decisions.

 

\-----

'Hey,' Rey said as she pushed the door open, glad to finally be home again. Being stuck with Phas all day had been fun but tiring. The woman knew how to talk, and she also knew how to work, somehow at the same time. Rey hadn't been blessed with that sort of multi-tasking ability and her head throbbed.

'Good afternoon!' Finn said cheerfully from the couch, still in his work uniform. It had felt like an eternity since she’d seen him last, when in truth she’d seen him last night over a tub of ice cream. Ben was sitting beside him, feet on the coffee table, hair tied up into a ponytail, BB-8 around his neck. 'How was your day?'

'Work was work,' she answered, dumping her bag and keys on the kitchen counter before kicking off her shoes. 'How was yours?' Ben remained silent and Finn rolled his eyes dramatically to her question.

'Would you believe me,’ Finn began, hanging over the couch to give her the best effect of his theatrics, his voice rising and falling in the small apartment, ‘if I told you I was offered a pay rise at my wonderfully shitty job?' 

'No?' Rey said, glancing up from the fridge as she looked for something to eat, only to come up empty. They needed to go grocery shopping quite urgently, it seemed.

'Well you'd be wrong!’ His face split into a wide, infectious grin. ‘I got a pay rise! But I'm not shouting dinner, it's your turn to get food.' He was too cheerful to give any offense, even if he'd meant it. Rey joined them on the couch, nestling into her best friend with a wiggle.

'You're the best burger flipper I know,' she told him proudly, thrilled for him. After all the crap hours and double shifts he did, he certainly deserved the recognition.

'You bet your fine behind I am,' he said. 'I can't wait to tell Poe. That'll shut him up about me getting a better job. What does he think this place is, a wonderland of job opportunities? Plus they love me there. And a pay rise means the perks of more money without the downside of responsibility!' He squeezed her tightly, hugging her close.

Rey inhaled the smell of oil and salt that seemed to have become forever entrenched in his skin. It smelt like Finn, though, and she hugged him back, content to just have this moment with him. It felt like she was getting fewer and fewer opportunities to simply be with him, talking and enjoying his company.

'So what's up with Mister Grumpy-Guts over there. He hasn't said much since he got back, but he smelt like _your_ perfume, so I know he saw you. Did you guys break up?' He teased. Ben huffed and looked down at his hands.

'I got offered a job,' he grunted. Rey remained silent, letting him reveal the information how he wanted. She shouldn't have been standing at the door and listening, but she'd heard his voice and needed to make sure everything was okay.

'Well fuck you too, buddy,' Finn said with a laugh. 'I won't tell Poe that, he'll just think the Universe is trying to make a point to me! You gonna take it?'

'I dunno,' Ben said, before grabbing Reys feet and pulling them into his lap. Large fingers began to work at the sore muscles, kneading out knots she didn't know she'd even had. Rey sighed in contentment.

'What's the pay like?'

'Insanely good.'

'And the staff?'

'Really nice.'

'And the hours?'

'Flexible.'

'And the problem?' Finn asked pointedly. BB-8 mewled softly, stretching languidly before sliding down Ben's arm to nestle on top of Rey's stomach, claws digging into her skin for a moment before retracting.

'I don't think there is one.' Ben answered, looking over at them. Finn and Rey looked back, eyebrows raised, waiting expectantly. Rey slowly scratched BB-8 behind her ears, feeling the purrs beginning to rumble through the felines body.

'It's up to you,' she said, 'but Hux was right, you know. You deserve to be happy, and you can take all the time you need.' She wrinkled her nose and dug her feet into Ben's stomach playfully, trying to get him to smile. 'Hey, you don't have decide right now. What you can do though, is go get dinner.'

'Me?' His grip tightened around her ankles, trying to stop her from wiggling her big toe into his belly button.

'Yes you! I got it last time, and Finn the time before that.'

'But I'm broke!' He said.

'Are not,' Rey shot back primly. 'I saw your wallet this morning, and I know for a fact that Finn's tummy is rumbling _really_ loudly. It's making him _sad_ Ben, do you want Finn to be _sad_?' She glanced up to see Finn pulling a tragic face, frown exaggerated as he pouted at Ben with the most wounded look he could muster. It was all Rey could do not to giggle as Ben lost his fight with her feet and dragged her into his lap instead.

A smile tickled the corner of his lips as he buried his face into her neck. Rey shut her eyes, liking the way his arms felt wrapped around her.

'Well now,' Finn said with a whistle. Rey’s eyes snapped open in alarm, darting a quick glance at Finn, whose arm was draped over the back of the couch, a knowing grin curving his lips. 'What's all this then?'

'Just friends,' Ben rumbled against her, as if he were hiding from the world.

'We're something,' Rey said back cheerfully, slipping her arms around Ben’s head. Finn's eyes crinkled with the size of his smile.

'Well! That's even more of a reason to celebrate! Come on _Something_ , get us a celebration meal!' He dug his feet into Rey’s back, urging her to get up and feed him. ‘It’s about time! You guys have been so cute smoozing around the apartment like you’re just friends, and’ he paused to gasp dramatically, ‘sharing a _bed_! How didn’t I see this before? And before _marriage_? Rey! How could you do this to me? To your ancestors? What happened to my little nun of a friend?’ He looked like he was trying to be disappointed, attempting to bring out the pout and the puppy-dog eyes, but he was failing miserably on all counts.

'Fine, fine!' Ben stood up abruptly. Rey squealed, panicked she was about to end up on the floor, only to find herself trapped in Ben’s arms, suspended in his grasp. 'I'll cook you scavengers something. How does peanut butter on toast sound?' He held her tightly, as though he didn’t want to let go, still caught in the tension of the day.

'Crunchy or smooth?' Finn asked suspiciously. Rey stared up at Ben’s face, watching the play of emotions as he hauled himself out of whatever internal pit he’d been festering in. When Finn was in a good mood it was hard to deny him by being sour back, at least in Rey’s vast experience of her best friend. It seemed to be true for Ben, too, as he began to smile slyly back, the expression becoming more honest as the seconds flew by, his body relaxing against hers.

'Let's call it mystery toast,' Ben announced to the room, letting Rey slip down to her feet. She only had a moment to enjoy being pressed against him before Ben was stepping around the couch and heading to the kitchen.

' _Mystery_ toast?!' Finn said in alarm, hanging over the back of the chair, voice raised indignantly as Ben opened the pantry for ingredients. 'Is it smooth or crunchy? Ben? _Ben_ ! This is important!'


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's that, two chapters in one week? *le gasp*
> 
> Enjoy my pretties!

Reg laughed in his face, raised onto his tiptoes, hands on his hips.

'You're fucking what?' He said, too drunk on his own ego to realise that Ben was serious. Behind him Pod was staring at his feet, expression twisted into determination as his eyes sparkled with unshed tears. Toby and Alex were staying out of it, quietly tuning their guitars in the corner.

'I'm leaving the band.'

'You can't! You signed a fucking contract.'

'Have fun with that then,' Ben said, hands dug deep into the pockets of his hoodie, determined not to lash out. He had to do this right, and being charged for assault was not the way to go about it. The tension in the room was increasing ten-fold, as it always did when Ben entered. His announcement hadn’t changed anything in his relationship with the band. It hadn’t changed anything within him either. There was no relief, not yet anyway, as he prepared himself for a fight, the nervous adrenaline pumping through him.

'What're you going to do?' Pod asked softly, gaining Reg's attention. The drummer rounded on him in an instant.

'What the fuck does it matter? He can't go anywhere! Snoke won't fucking let him! He has to stay and sing or he's gonna lose everything! Snoke told me, it's in your contract.'

Ben met Pod's gaze and answered, as though Reg hadn't said a word.

'I was offered a job,' Ben said, 'until I figure everything out, you know?'

'Yeah.' Pod said with a slow nod. 'Yeah, I do.' His quiet acceptance was painful. Of the whole band, Pod was definitely his favourite, stuck in this whole mess but too young to know any better. Perhaps he could be freed, too? The determination struck him hard and fast. If Ben was leaving, so was Pod. The Knights of Ren could bite the dirt, Ben and Pod were out of there. The kid was talented, he'd find a new band, a decent manager, someone who'd encourage his natural flair, coax him out of his usually shy shell.

'Will you stay here?' Ben asked, taking joy in the fit Reg was having, the furrowed brow and gaping mouth, the sweat dotting his forehead. He looked like an apoplectic fish, flopping about out of water. 

'I signed the same contract,' Reg hedged, glancing at Alex and Toby. Their eyes were fixated on their machine heads, repeatedly tuning the same string over and over again.

'But if you could leave, would you?'

'I-' he hesitated and swallowed nervously. He was a kid, just a kid that they'd pulled into this whole fucking mess. The rage was swift, but he swallowed it forcefully, refusing to allow it to take hold, to haze out his vision until he'd destroyed everything possible. He wasn't Kylo anymore, he was Ben.

'You don't have to answer now,' Ben said, mimicking the words he'd heard yesterday, 'just think about it.'

'Think about what?' The door creaked as Snoke stepped into the room, plucking the hat from his sunken head with gnarled fingers. 'Why aren't you rehearsing in the studio?' Knowing eyes rounded on Ben. 'Kylo, I thought we had a deal.'

'He wants to leave.' Reg said before Ben could open his mouth, ever the rat now that he was Snoke's little lapdog. 

Reg was in Snokes face in an instant, almost trembling with energy. He was so far removed from the guy that had approached Ben at a gig and offered a business card, the word 'drummer' written in messy handwriting, with a mobile number scrawled underneath. The business card had actually been a drink coaster, but the young guy had been full of cocky charm and wit. Their first meet-up had been easygoing, shooting the shit about similar tastes in music, endless flattery about Ben's voice, and then a trip to Reg's house for a jam that had gone very well. Of course Reg knew a guitarist, who also knew another guitarist, and perhaps they could find someone who played bass and start a band, what do you say? Well Ben had said yes because Reg had been a nice guy, well presented, organised. He was loyal, respectful, and goddamn did he want to make it big in the music industry.

That wasn't this man, with blood-shot eyes and a dependency that was alarming and hard to break. Snoke had worked hard and fast on claiming the most dedicated member of the band. It was tragic, but Ben refused to be suckered into that life. Snoke had gotten into Reg's head, and Reg _liked_ him there.

'Is this true?' Snoke asked, disgustingly calm, ancient eyes swivelling to meet Ben’s.

'I'm out,' Ben confirmed with squared shoulders and a defiant tilt to his chin. 'This isn't what I wanted, this isn't the music I want to play. I'm done. You'll need a new singer.'

Snoke's laugh was dry, filling the room with the sickly sound. Alex and Toby had fallen silent, huddled together in their corner to escape notice. Pod took a step closer to Ben, despite the attention that immediately swivelled to him.

'What do you think about all of this, boy?' Snoke sneered, leaning on his walking stick, exuding the calm of a man certain he would win.

'Well, I guess ... I mean, it's Kylo's choice,' Pod stammered, 'you can't _make_ someone sing.'

'Can't you?' Snoke asked with a grin that twisted his face. The end of his walking stick smacked the floor. 'We shall see. Very well then, take the rest of the day off Kylo, if you need it. You probably want to spend time with that lovely girl of yours that you've been living with. What was her name, Rey Smith? We'll see you tomorrow.' Snoke turned and tottered out of the room, leaving them as statues.

Ice pooled through Ben’s veins, wildfire burning through his skull.

Rey Smith _Rey Smith ReySmithReySmithReySmith_ ...

He knew. He knew who she was, what she was to him ... but how? He fisted his hands in his hoodie, trying to contain himself. Trying to not think of the sickening implications that Snoke’s revelation meant. That Rey was in danger because of him. Because of his own choices and selfishness. But it wasn’t selfishness, he had a way out. He knew he had a way out and Rey would be safe. She had to be. 

'Who's Rey?' Pod asked softly. He hadn't missed the underlying threat then either. Reg was staring at him, a predator about to pounce.

'The broad he's been fucking us over for, I'll bet,' Reg answered, playing over offended and haughty all at once.

'You have a girlfriend?' Pod asked in surprise. 'Since when?'

'Since the other day,' Ben muttered.

'Huh. Well ... congrats I guess ...' Pod glanced at Reg, at the door through which Snoke had left. 'Well, uh, if we're not rehearsing, mind if I walk out with you?'

Ben sheltered him through Reg's tirade, catching a couple of punches for him as they hustled out the door and pounded down the steps to the street. Snoke was nowhere in sight, probably gloating about how he was going to win this fight as well.

Not fucking likely.

Not after what Ben had seen on him.

Hux.

He had to get to Hux and warn him.

But what was Snoke going to do?

_Anything he wants._

The thought had him moving quickly, needing to get to them before someone else did. He'd seen what Hux had found, what Snoke could do, who he talked to. If Snoke knew who Rey was ... no, Ben wouldn't think about that.

'Hey, Kylo!'

'It's Ben.' He said without thinking.

'Oh, well I guess that makes sense. I always thought Kylo was a bit of a weird name,' Pod said thoughtfully. 'My real name is Laurence. Did I ever tell you my parents wanted me to play cello and join an orchestra? They had me tutored since I was really little,' he laughed at the memory. 'Everyone called me Pod because I was so little and cocooned in the life they wanted me to have. Then they got hit by a drunk driver, right after I told them to get fucked, because I didn't want to live their stupid life.' 

Ben's steps slowed as he turned to face the guy.

'I had no idea.' Ben admitted, guilt pooling low in his gut, almost washing away the fear he had for Rey. He’d never once thought to ask Pod about his family, or his life outside of the band. Everything had been about Kylo. About what Kylo could do, to get them further, on how to improve their playing. It had never occurred to him that there were backstories to the members of his band, backstories on how they’d learned their crafts. Ben shuffled nervously. 

Pod shrugged his shoulders and offered a sheepish smile, as if excusing Ben for his ignorance.

'Reg thinks it stands for Poddle or something.' He chewed on his lip for a moment as they stood in the middle of the footpath facing each other. 'He used to be a good guy, but I guess the drugs ... he really abuses them.'

'He does.' Ben said, not sure if Pod was about to suggest they save the bastard from himself.

'I want out.' He said instead, much to Ben's relief. 'The band isn't what it used to be. I joined because of you, anyway. I'm not friends like those three, and I don't like Snoke, he gives me the creeps. You seem pretty certain that you'll get away pretty clean from this, so if you can, I want to as well.'

'You're sure?' Ben asked.

'As sure as I'll ever be.' Pod answered with a definitive nod.

\-----

Hux stared at the two men who stood in his office. They were both sweaty, long hair wild from the wind outside, cheeks flushed, eyes hopeful. They honestly looked like strays who had somehow wafted out of the street and into the top of his building. One he’d been prepared to deal with, but a second one? 

'Nice to meet you,' Hux said, not sure what else he was supposed to say. He heard a slight giggle from Rey's desk, where she was pretending not to pay attention and failing abysmally.

'And this,' Ben said, turning to the sound of amusement, as though he’d already made introductions instead of bursting unannounced into Hux’s office, 'is Rey.'

'Ah shit,' Pod said, before flushing bright red, 'I mean, hi, I'm Pod.' He stepped forward and offered his hand. She accepted with a puzzled smile, glancing questioningly at Ben.

'You're in Ben's band,' she said, 'Kylo's, I mean.'

'Ben.' Pod said firmly. 'And no, we're not in a band anymore. At least-we're not, right?' He turned to Ben for confirmation, who turned to Hux, who watched the whole proceeding with raised eyebrows and a wry smile.

'Explain to me what's happening.' He said instead. He pulled his chair out and positioned it behind the two guest chairs, flipping them around so they faced the door instead of the desk. Without asking, Rey quickly dragged her seat over beside Hux's and smiled at him pleasantly, daring him to tell her to go away. He rolled his eyes instead and took his seat. Ben and Pod quickly followed suit.

'I told Snoke I'm out,' Ben said without any preamble. 'Pod wants the same thing, so here we are.'

'I see.' Hux said. He studied the new young man, with his long dark hair and dark clothes. His face was rounder, eyes lighter, nose more button shaped, and was definitely not as tall, but Pod was definitely a little Ben in the making. He wondered idly if Ben had actually noticed, most likely not, but there was definitely some sort of idolisation going on. 'And you're after a job as well?' He asked the young man.

'What? Me?' He looked surprised. 'No, Ben just said that you knew how to get us out of the contract.'

'Oh.' Hux looked at Ben for a moment, watching the sudden guilt flash across his face.

Of course the dolt hadn't thought of Pod's financial situation, not that he really needed to, in all fairness. But Hux was a man of detail, and he didn't want someone to suffer for trying to make the right decision.

'If you need a job,' Hux continued after a long pause, 'what with the dissolution of your current financial situation ... how much education have you had?'

'I finished school, but ... I wasn't able to do anything after that. My family situation changed and my inh-I don't have any money to my name,' he corrected himself, shrinking under Hux's gaze. Another shy little run away, perhaps, or something a little more tragic, if Ben's sad glance was anything to go by. Hux hummed and turned to Rey.

'Didn't that girl just quit?'

'What girl?' She asked in confusion.

'That really annoying one.' He held his hands out in front of his chest to illustrate who he was talking about. He hadn't bothered learning the twit’s name, and hadn't needed to, because Rey snorted.

'Yeah, Phas made her quit. It was pretty spectacular. Apparently, if you work in the mail room you don't need to send priority mail for at least two weeks.'

'Well there you go, we have a position open. It pays above minimum wage, full time with sick leave and holiday pay. Business hours, of course, you would be in charge of the building’s incoming and outgoing mail.'

Pod’s face was one of pure delight as he spoke, as though Hux had just offered him a lifetime supply of puppies and beer.

'You're actually offering me a job?' Pod was on his feet and shaking Hux's hand in earnest, unable to contain himself, grip firm and determined. Rey didn't try to contain her mirth, her laughter pealing around them as Hux blinked in surprise at the young man. He'd perhaps underestimated the shy boy’s enthusiasm.

'You'd have to apply, naturally,' Hux said, keeping his voice cool, 'but I can put in a good word, I suppose.'

Pod fell back into his seat, utterly thrilled with this turn of events.

Hux sighed and turned his attention back to Ben.

'And you?' He asked.

Ben shrugged his large shoulders looked across at a bookshelf, scanning the titles without seeing them. Hux arched an eyebrow thoughtfully.

'Alright.' He said. 'Rey, if you could get the forms needed for Pod here?'

'Sure!' Rey popped out of her seat, only to pause. 'And where would I find those?'

'I believe Phas should be able to help you,' he said, waiting for the office door to close behind her before he spoke again. 'What?' He asked bluntly.

'I think Snoke's planning to use Rey against me.'

'The hell he is.' Hux surprised himself with the venom in his own words. 'I'm going to end this for you.'

'But how?' Pod asked, his earlier excitement fading away. He was visibly nervous, and Hux didn't blame him. He had no doubt Snoke had something to dangle in front of this boy as well. The man was vile and underhanded in his dealings, that much had been painfully clear on paper alone.

He'd need to sit down with his father that night and make the man actually listen to his son. Hux had no doubt that he'd get through; he had a plan, and he was eager now, more than ever, to carry it out.

If Rey was in danger because Ben was trying to do the right thing, then this would all end, swiftly and efficiently.

'Don't worry,' Hux said, 'it'll be over soon.'


	34. Chapter 34

'Mister Big Shot,' Rey said teasingly, smoothing her hands down the front of his chest before pressing her lips to his as they stood in the elevator, heading up towards her office. 

'Do we get to do this all day?' He teased, wrapping his arms around her. There was no briefcase to worry about hitting her with, only a worn backpack slung over the shoulder of his cheap suit. With no money Hux couldn't expect him to wear tailored clothing to work just yet.

It felt strangely good, seeing his reflection in the polished surface of the doors.

Ben Solo.

Businessman.

His hair was brushed neatly away from his face, and his new black suit and a patterned tie, courtesy of Rey, helped him cut a decent figure. She jiggled against him, filling his nose with the scent of her perfume and shampoo. Her excitement had woken him up that morning, tangling the sheets around them in sweaty throws of passion, and hadn't diminished, even after the joint shower, rushed breakfast, bus commute or apparently the threat of being sprung by opening doors in a public space.

'We can have lunch together,' she said, eyes sparkling. He thumbed away a crumb on her chin, her smile infectious. 'I mean, Phas will probably invite herself ... I usually have lunch with her ... no, _no_! I'll call Mitaka up and she'll forget all about it! Ha! Let's have lunch together today!' Her fingers wrapped around his, palms pressed tight as she pulled his arm hard against her chest, cuddling it.

'You're like a child,' he teased. 'I'm supposed to be professional.' She snorted and rolled her eyes.

'No point pretending now,' she said. 'Hux has worked with you before.'

'So have you, and I was very professional!'

'To the clients,' she allowed as the doors rolled open. Rey practically dragged him up the hall, throwing a loud hello over her shoulder into Phasma's office as she barrelled Ben into Hux's.

'Well then,' Hux said, looking up from his screen.

'Do you ever go home?' Rey chided, placing her bag under her desk, kicking it the rest of the way under with the heel of her shoe.

'Only when I have to,' he said, leaning back to get a better look at Ben. Ben spun around, giving him a show.

'I'll take you to a man I know, once you get paid,' Hux said, nose wrinkling in distaste. He rose and moved towards them, slipping an arm through Ben's now that Rey had relinquished her hold. 'How about I show you to your new office then, hmm? And do I need to remind you that this is a _workplace_ , you two? No shenanigans in there, or in the hall, or in my office please.'

'What if I lock my office door? I have this tie,' Ben tugged on the item in question thoughtfully. Hux felt his face flush, though he wasn't sure if it was in embarrassment or something else.

'I'm not having this stupid discussion,' Hux said instead, pushing open the door to a room identical to his. At their back Rey made a disgruntled noise.

'Can't he just share your office?' She asked. 'It's kind of big and lonely in here.'

Ben looked at the table in the centre of the room, the empty shelves, the floor to ceiling windows. It looked like an important person worked here, someone who knew what they were doing, not him ...

'He'll be in my office often enough.' Hux said. 'You already live with him, do you really want to be in the same room all day?'

'Rey and I are getting lunch together,' Ben said without thinking, 'you'll be joining us, of course?'

'But Ben, I'm already in the same room as him all _day_!' Rey teased, 'I can't have lunch with him as well! What would the people say?' Ben laughed and sat in the chair. He looked sternly at the blank monitor, prodded the inert telephone, open and slammed the top desk drawer. Hux sighed irritably.

'Fine.' He agreed.

'Good.' Ben said authoritatively, watching as Rey's eyes dilated suddenly at the change of tone. He smirked wickedly, storing that little tidbit for later. Hux was steadfastly ignoring the silent exchange between the two of them. 'Now, Hux, please do take a seat.'

With an arched brow, Hux did as requested, folding himself neatly into the chair across the desk from Ben.

'Yes?' He asked once he was satisfactorily arranged. Rey plonked herself down artlessly, uninvited and quite comfortable.

'How'd you do it?' Ben asked.

'Do what?' Hux replied obtusely, inspecting his nails.

Ben rolled his eyes and let his silence do the talking. Hux knew exactly what. Three days ago Ben had received a phone call from Snoke, informing him that the contract had been voided and that no further actions would be pursued. The next morning had brought a courier with signed documents that had Finn joking about divorce papers.

They'd _felt_ like divorce papers, and it had been amazing. He and Finn had dined on pancakes and milkshakes while Rey had been at work, and Ben had prepared a roast for her return, which Finn had also gladly partaken in. BB-8 hadn't objected much either.

Inside had been official documents signed by Snoke and a lawyer relinquishing any debts held against Ben, rewarded him the bond for his apartment and also withheld royalties, that were still legally bound to Snoke's record label, but it was detail Ben could overlook. Unlike the fact that the documents had been delivered to an apartment that Snoke should not have known existed. That part had been unnerving once he'd realised, but he chose quickly not to disclose that to Rey or Finn.

'Fine,' Hux said after the pause had dragged on for too long and Rey's stare had bored a hole through the side of his face. 'My Father and Snoke were business partners once, before branching into their own interests. Snoke kept tabs on my Father and my Father, well, he kept closer tabs. He had a few dirty little secrets on Snoke that could have ruined the man. Some rather illegal secrets. It was quite easy for my Father to persuade Hux to just drop the deal in favour of reason.'

'So just some light hearted blackmail between friends?' Ben said wryly.

'Hardly,' Hux said, green eyes glimmering with malicious glee, 'they were never friends, and my Father has far more influential and legally-minded actual friends.'

'So just regular blackmail?' Rey asked. Ben laughed, smiling at her fondly. He couldn't help himself. As corny as it sounded, he honestly felt like he was floating. He had a home, a beautiful woman that actually liked him, new friends, old friends, a _family_ again, and a job that paid more money than he knew what to do with. It was like he was in one of those shitty chick-flick movies where everything came out alright.

But this was life and he knew the other shoe would drop eventually, so he had to simply enjoy it and take it for what it was. A good streak.

Rey scrunched her face at him.

'Listen, if you guys are done wanking all over each other in here,' Phas said dryly from the doorway, 'I need that girl you've kidnapped so that I can actually do what I'm paid to do.'

'Sure,' the chair creaked as Rey bounded to her feet. 'I'm glad you guys kissed and made up,' she said as she moved to join the tall blonde. Ben watched her go.

'Well next time they do it, get them to video it, you could probably earn some money,' Phas said, wrapping her arm around the shorter woman's shoulders. 'If you can catch them without shirts on, definitely more.'

'Welcome to the company,' Hux said.

'Thanks for blackmailing me to safety.' Ben replied. 'And for getting Pod that job.'

'Your little follower is in good hands.' Hux ran his hands down the front of his shirt, straightening out the creases.

'And me?' Ben asked, leaning forward with a smirk. Hux sniffed dismissively as he rose.

'Oh, I'm not going to actually help you, Ben Solo. I've done enough for you, you can do the hard work yourself now.'

'That's not what I meant-'

'Oh I know what you meant.' Hux said, 'now hurry up, my Father will want to meet this new young hot shot I've hired at great expense.'

'The CEO?' Ben asked, stomach dropping in nervous terror. He caught the gleeful smirk on Hux's face before he stepped out into the corridor.

'And the Board. Oh, didn't I tell you? We're meeting them in five minutes. Welcome to your new life.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here and now do ... do I actually get to type 'THE END'?
> 
> I do.
> 
> But I also don't.
> 
> I'm working on an epilogue for you faithful followers ;]
> 
> Stay tuned, and thank you!


	35. Chapter 35

So that’s it, it’s done!

Thank you for joining me on the rollercoaster that was ‘Dim the Lights’.

I’m going to be honest: It didn’t end how I wanted it to end, at all. I bowed to pressure (both external and my own) and turned this into a Reylo when it should have been Reylux. It may have started out as a Reylo, but the bones of it became fundamental Reylux and I should have stuck to my guns, regardless of the readers I would have lost. Their relationships were far more intricate than Rey just giving up on Hux, or Hux relinquishing his hold on Ben. 

This was my first popular big fic. I swayed under other peoples opinions and was ultimately left unsatisfied by how I ended this. To me some of the characterisation towards the end is forced, and I rushed to the end because I couldn't satisfactorily sum everything up to how I wanted it.

But it’s done, I’ve finished it, it’s over. 

The smutty hook up in a bar became an epic 34 chapter mammoth that's longer than the Manuscript I've been working on in the background! Oops!

As a reward to myself I’ve written an epilogue that may not be to everyone’s taste. 

[ Beyond these waters lies Reylux, my heart and soul. ](http://archiveofourown.org/works/9615392)

I have no apologies. 

This is how it should have been from the moment Hux made himself a force to be reckoned with.

Hux can never be denied.

  


Again. Thank you for your support and love. For taking the time to comment even if you disagreed with the characters and their actions.  
My intentions for this story were to treat them as real people. People with insecurities, who make bad or stupid decisions, who say illogical things or react stupidly. It is life, and that is how it's lived. 

Thank you for the kudos, for sharing on Tumblr, for sticking with me to the end.

You guys are lovely and this fic never would have ended, or really even begun without your support.

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks to [LucidLucy](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucidlucy/pseuds/Lucidlucy) who is an absolutely delightful person and an amazing Beta (and supporter and pusher and general all around nice Gal). Go check out her works! I fangirl all over them. Really hard. You should too.
> 
> Also, I have a [Tumblr](http://darth-ej.tumblr.com/) so come and say hi or whatever. I'm more of a lurker, but I'm happy to chat!
> 
> Want to listen instead of read?  
> Jennity, [tumblr](http://jennity-blogs.tumblr.com/) or [Ao3](http://archiveofourown.org/users/jennity/pseuds/jennity), has turned this into an [audiobook!](https://soundcloud.com/user-661854610/sets/ejblakit)! Isn't she wonderful?


End file.
